“A WOMAN'S HEART IS AS DEEP & AS MYSTERIOUS AS THE SEA.
TO CONQUER HER HEART, PREPARE TO DROWN.
SOME WILL FIND DEATH, OTHERS WILL FIND PARADISE. ”

"Are you ready to order?"

Yoon Min remained still in her seat while Seokjin did the talking unexpectedly. She wanted to eat somewhere local but he dragged her to an expensive restaurant she never visited before.

"Hey, choose," he reminded her since the waiter was waiting.

She took the menu in her hands and opened it to search for the cheapest food on the list. Her eyes gawked at the prices as if they cost the amount of her monthly rent.

In the end, she closed the menu and dropped it on the table as if it was of no use to her. She stammered out the lowest item she found on the list. "One serving of Tteokbokki, please. I suddenly don't feel hungry."

The waiter bowed at them and was about to leave but he stopped him. “Wait,” he opened the menu again. "Bring me two of everything I ordered. And her tteokbokki."

Her jaw dropped in shock as the waiter left them. She banged her fist on the table, causing a few people to glance at their table. He jumped in his seat and stared at her in surprise.

"Jin-ssi! Who told you to order for me? Who's gonna pay, my grandfather?!”

He raised an eyebrow at her. That's why she was mad? "Me, who else?"

Her cheeks reddened instantly. She seemed like he left her speechless. She blinked slowly and mumbled, "I'm not gonna let you do that as long as I'm alive."

"Why, is letting someone else pay for your dinner hurt your pride? That's petty, Yoon Min." he teased.

She clenched the tablecloth and yelled, "Look, you may be this rich dude who can pay for hundreds of people, and it doesn't matter to you. But it matters to me. I cannot let you or anyone pay for something that's for me. Never. I don't like to owe people. Also, you are my bia--" she stopped on her own.

Seokjin unexpectedly chuckled at her. Sometimes she felt the most unnecessary worries. He pulled off his mask and directly looked into her eyes.

"Think of this as a way of my gratitude. Also, shouldn't you consider this a lucky thing? How many fans get to be treated for dinner by their biases?"

She scowled at him. "What gratitude?"

"You know...for giving me company since last month. I don't feel depressed all the time now, because of you."

Yoon Min was rendered speechless once again. Her heart began to beat faster, so fast that it could be seen knocking on her left chest from the outside. She didn’t speak anymore as she looked away, in an attempt to prevent her shy smile.

But he noticed the change in her reaction which made him smile. That was the only way to shut her up and let him treat her. Though he wasn’t sure if he was honest with his words, it felt right to express them.

Their food arrived shortly after. It was served elegantly on the table as if each dish was a piece of art. It felt like a crime to eat them. That's just how fancy restaurants are.

Seokjin hadn't felt this hungry for food in a long time. It was a wonder how a food-lover like him lost his basic appetite over the course of years. After seeing the various dishes in front of him and tasting their delicious smell, he didn’t wait long before gobbling down the food.

Then he felt something was off. When he glanced at her, he noticed the frown on her face, not eating and just staring at the half-eaten dishes. He asked her quickly, "What?"

She slowly shifted her eyes at him. With an embarrassed smile, she tried her best not to be rude. "I-I'm actually allergic to pork."

He scanned the foods again and saw all types of porks mixed with every item. There wasn't any single meal he ordered that didn't have pork. A small but heavy piece of his heart broke. He thought he was being considerate but he only messed up. He ordered without asking her opinion.

He stopped eating and only stared at the delicious food in shame. How could he be so unthoughtful?

"Aigoo...I'll just eat my tteokbokki. I'm not hungry really,” Yoon Min chirped and picked up the bowl for herself.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead in regret. He remembered once she told him her parents never let her choose what she wanted to eat whenever they went out. They only gave her what they wanted to eat. She never had the chance to order what she wanted. How could he behave almost the same way as her parents did?

Knowing there was nothing he could do now, he cleared his throat and began to eat his share. Apologizing won't fix it either. He knew she wouldn't be mad at him ever anyway.

In the middle of his thoughts, he happened to look at her who was happily eating the tteokbokki. Seokjin decided to give her a little compliment in case she felt uncomfortable with him.

"You're good with your chopsticks."

She glanced at him with a bright smile. "Really? That's nice to hear. I actually practised a lot before coming to South Korea. Back in my country, I didn't have chopsticks at first so I practiced with pens. Then after getting a wooden pair, I went around eating everything with it. Now I can even catch a fly with them!”

He gave her a cold look which caused her to go pale and rambled quickly. "Okay fine, I'm just exaggerating because that's the first ever compliment I got from you."

He was taken aback when she said. Did he never praise her before? He just hated himself for these things that could unknowingly hurt a person. First, he acted like a fool by ordering allergic food for her, then he realized he never encouraged this girl.

Deciding not to use his brain anymore, he returned to eating and both of them spent the rest of their dinner eating in silence.

✦✧✧ - ✧✧✦

In the end, Seokjin couldn't pay for her tteokbokki since Yoon Min was too fast to hand over her credit card first. He glared at her and almost scolded her, but she seemed too proud of herself and flicked her hair.

Also, she forced him to take the remaining food with him so that he could eat it when he got hungry at home. He didn’t like the idea at first but she acted too stubborn in this matter of wasting food. And after whatever happened tonight, he didn't want to disappoint her anymore.

Currently, they were walking back to their previous spot where they were hanging out because that's where they were gonna part their ways. She wanted to bid goodbye back at the restaurant but he insisted she walk him to the park. He wasn’t sure about the reason.

"Jin-ssi, did you know you and your brother look really different from each other?"

She stepped on the benches that were placed strategically. As a result, she appeared taller than him.

He chuckled softly. "Where did you even see him?"

"In Instagram. You are indescribably handsome and he is...average. No offence.”

He never got mad if someone compared his good looks with others. It just made him happier. He liked it when people called him handsome.

Yoon Min was playing by balancing her arms in the air. As if she was crossing a lava beneath her by walking over the benches.

He put his hands inside his pockets and wanted to tell a story from his childhood. “When I was a teen, I brought my friends home almost every day. Eomma never thought to take care of them. She would leave it to me to feed them snacks and stuff. But one day, Hyung brought some of his friends home. Eomma looked so happy and she even bought pizza for them.

"I was so confused and asked her why she did that. She then scolded me, saying my brother doesn't bring his friends home every day like me. First, I was mad, thinking she liked my brother more. But now I realize how stupid I was."

She shook her head. “You weren't stupid. You were a child and you thought what every child would in your shoes. I personally think your mother shouldn’t have done that, you know? That could've created distance between you and your brother. There are always gentle ways to teach your children.”

That's what he wanted to hear. He knew she would understand him. He smiled, in the hope she wouldn’t notice it in the dark.

After a while, she muttered, "I never talked about my father, did I?"

He shook his head.

"Father used to be the only one in my family who I respected and liked the most. He was the kind to value his children's choices and happiness first. He would do everything for them. My father is the strongest man I know.”

Judging by the tone of her voice, he realized she was smiling but it wasn’t a happy smile. But why? Her father seemed like a nice person, unlike her mother.

"Until one day, I accidentally heard something I wish I hadn't."

Seokjin looked at her. "What happened?" he asked when he couldn't resist himself.

She took a deep breath and replied, "It seemed to Father that Mother loved me more than my sister. Which was absolutely wrong because she loved both of us equally if she loved.

“Well, I was friendly with her. I always tried to look up to her as a good daughter even though it wasn’t my wish at all. I never wanted to grow up like my mother. But still, I always tried to make her happy although, in the process, I was being cruel to myself.

“However my older sister was the opposite of me. She was the rebellious one. She would fight with our mother, disobey her, and hate her affection. She was the person I was behind my mask.

“One night, I was going to get some water when I heard my parents talking about me. Of course, I tiptoed my way to the door and listened. So my father was concerned about why I was more loved. He said my sister acted like an impudent because she was jealous of me. He stated I was trying to steal all the love."

He stopped walking after listening to her story. His feet couldn't move. His heart just felt bad for her. A child learning her efforts considered as nothing but thievery was bound to break her heart and demolish her hope.

She didn't move forward too, and decided to end the story.

"I began to notice other small details, acts that would clearly show Father wasn't interested in his little daughter. In fact, as we grew up, both my parents were more proud of my sister. They liked to brag about her to others and compared her with me in everything. It wasn't their fault; because I never achieved good results no matter how hard I tried. I feel like I never gave them a reason to feel proud. I wasn’t so sharp and brilliant as my sister or my friends, maybe that's why they were extremely dissatisfied with me.”

It was a relatable topic. Something similar happened to him as well.

“That's what happened with me too,” he remarked. “Whenever there were guests in the house, they used to brag about their children. That's what they always did; those women talked about their sons as if they were born out of gold. But my mother couldn’t say anything about me, you know? Eomeoni couldn’t either brag or show off because I was a good-for-nothing kid. She would always stay quiet and listen to others, bragging about their kids.”

A crack appeared in his voice. “So I decided to do something in life that will make her proud. Every time I remembered her silent, embarrassed face, I just worked harder. I gave my best only to see a pure smile on my mother's face. But I'm not sure if I succeeded at all.”

That was a genuine thought. Though he once rose to be the biggest superstar in the world, everything about his success only made him feel low. He used to think he didn’t try better, that he lacked a lot, that he wasn’t certain if he deserved all the unmeasurable love. And no matter how many times his mother told him she was happy for him, somehow a part of him believed she was lying.

“But you did,” Yoon Min smiled. “Unlike me, you became a worldwide popular, well-respected and beloved celebrity. You gained millions of fans and supporters. You discovered a lot of your hidden talents. Believe me Jin-ssi, you've made your mother very proud of you. You achieved things you didn’t know you could and that's why you think that way. But I'm sure you successfully became a person your mother can definitely brag about now.”

Maybe she was right. But it saddened him more to think even though he achieved his goal, she couldn’t. She ran away from her family, from those same parents who took her as a burden, those same people she always wanted to make proud.

After a long silence, Yoon Min became cheerful again. "Gosh, it's so late! Jin-ssi, go home now. Or else, kidnappers are gonna kidnap you!"

Despite their melancholic stories about their past, when she suddenly said something funny, he couldn't oppose a small smile. No grief lasts forever.

Seokjin scoffed lightly before he resumed walking.

"Hey, wait! Let's go together!" she giggled and followed him.

Maybe their similarities were just too deep to find on a clear surface. Maybe that's the reason their future was unclear too.

☆THE FAULT IN OUR STARS☆

THANK YOU FOR READING
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