Peach: Hello students, as you are aware we will be investigating the disappearance of some supplies. It has been narrowed down that the supplies seem to go missing around a certain town. We will be traveling by bullhead and arrive at the town this afternoon. Any questions?

Elly: Yes. What supplies are we looking for?

Peach: They range from weapons, dust, food, water, and medical supplies. It is expected that this the work of the White Fang, however we have not ruled out that they have simply been misplaced or intercepted by grimm.

(Y/n): Or stolen by someone else.

Peach: Maybe. But! That is what we are here for, to find out and put an end to it. Now, onto the bullhead everyone.

She leads us to the bullhead and we climb aboard.

Peach: And remember, you are to follow my instructions when given. I am well aware of your team's reputation and will not have anyone's safety be compromised.

Natalie: Wait, we have a reputation?

Elly: Errrr. "ahem"

Brock: "whistles an inconspicuous tune"

(Y/n): I take full responsibility for any rumors and/or facts about the team.

Peach: Well than. Pilot, when ever you're ready!

The bullhead starts up and takes flight.

Elly: So, what do we do in the meantime?

Peach: Well, you four could go over any notes for any up coming tests and projects.

(Y/n): Hmmm, interesting. Ooorr..... 2,344 bottles of beer on the wall! 2,344 bottles of beer! You take one down, pass it around! 2,343 bottles of beer on the wall! I'm finishing it! 2,343 bottles of beer on the wall! 2,343 bottles of beer!

(Y/n)/Brock: You take one down, pass it around! 2,342 bottles of beer on the wall!

Elly: I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me?

As Brock and I continue to subjugate the others in torture, I start to wonder how Salem is doing right now.

[Meanwhile, kitchen of the grimm castle]

Over time, Salem has been thinking about making a flambé. As she pours in some liquor into the pot, she strikes a match. Once she tosses in the match, a small puff of flame rises up before settling back down.

Salem: Oooh. Haha! Voila! Hehehehe...

Grabbing the liquor, she pours in a little more... then a little more... one more shot couldn't hurt. Putting aside the liquor, Salem strikes another match and tosses it in the pot.

*FWOOSH*

The pot erupts into flames, nearly touching the ceiling. Surprised, Salem falls backwards on to the floor. Getting back up in a panic, she looks on in horror by the intensity of the flame.

Salem: OH! AAAGH! Alright! Alright sta-down! Down! Uh-down! Voila! In reverse!

She runs over to the sink and grabs the extendable faucet. Pulling it over to the fire, Salem rapidly pulls the trigger only for no water to come out. She reaches for the connected hose and sees that it is no longer connected to anything.

Salem: Oh DAMN!

She tosses it to the ground and looks back at the flame.

Salem: Alright, get down! Stop it! Stop it!

She runs back to the sink and cups her hands under the running water, tossing handfuls at the fire. As that proved ineffective, she resulted in putting her lips to the running water, collecting small mouth fulls, and spitting at the fire. Still ineffective.

*ring ring*

Salem runs over to the countertop, grabs her scroll and answers it, then runs back to the sink tossing handfuls of water at the fire.

Salem: Hello?! Hello?! Hey! Cinder look I can't talk right now, kitchens on fire I'm burning the castle down!!

She hangs up and tosses her scroll to the side. She grabs a towel and starts waving it at the flame.

Salem: Toro! TORO!

She spins the towel up and whips at the flame. She then results to tossing the towel on top of the fire, grabbing an edge and starts to smother the flame. As the the fire begins to die down; Salem starts smacking the towel, the pot, and all around it just to make sure. As all was said and done she grabs the towel and tosses it over a little to the side.

Salem:... Haha! Aha! Ah! Hah. Oh. Aw man.

She walks around the table and sits away from the pot.

Salem: Oh. Hahahaaa! Woooo! Oh... That was close. Oh, that was close. Oh man. Oh my father! I almost burned the kitchen down.

Unbeknownst to her, the towel starts smoking before catching on fire... right next to the pot.

*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP*

Looking up at the fire alarm, Salem wonders why it was going off. She turns around just in time to see the pot get egnyted once again along with the towel... and the bottle of liquor. Salem jumps out of her seat and faces the large flame in absolute terror.

Salem: No! Oh NO! NOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

[Back to the bullhead]

Eh. I'm sure she's fine. Now, where was I? Oh yes!

(Y/n)/Brock: You take one down, pass it around!

[Timeskip brought to you by chibi Salem crying in a burnt kitchen, covered in soot]

(Y/n)/Brock: 2 bottles of beer on the wall! 2 bottles of beer! You take one down. Pass it around. Ooone bottle of beer on the waaaaaaaaaallll!

(Queue applause)

(Y/n): Aahh, that was glorious!

I look around to everyone in the bullhead. Brock seems to agree with me, Natalie had the right idea to bring headphones on the trip, Elly looks like she went brain dead at some point, and Professor Peach is just patiently sitting there.

(Y/n): 'Wow, she has the patients of a saint'.

Pilot: Tee minus one minute till arrival.

Peach: Oh thank god...

(Y/n): 'Nevermind'.

Brock: Elly... Wake up sleepy head.

Elly:............

Brock: Elly?

Peach: Hmmm. It seems that Miss Beli has gone into shock at some point in our travel.

Brock: Oh God!

Peach: Don't worry. I have medical knowledge on how to handle this kind of situation.

She pulls out a rubber glove. Putting on the glove, she flexes her hand while staring at Elly.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*SLAP SLAP*

Elly: OW! What the fuck!

Peach: See? All better.

As the bullhead lands, we step out and follow Peach into town.

Peach: Alright, we should check into an inn just in case this search takes longer than expected.

(Y/n): You're the boss, Professor.

We make our way to the inn, getting a few stares on the way. Mostly at Elly...

(Y/n): 'Oh it's gonna be one of those towns, huh?'

[Mean while, grimm castle]

Tyrian makes his way down the halls trying to find Salem, or as he refers to her, Mistress. As the scorpion faunus makes a turn, he hears scrubbing coming from the kitchen. Assuming that's where she is, he made his way into the kitchen.

Tyrian: Pardon me, Mistress, I just got a call from that Cinder girl and just wanted to make sure... that...

As he enters the kitchen, he is met with everything burnt. The fridge, sink, chairs, tables, ceiling, walls, and the floor. Speaking of which, Tyrian looks down and sees a soot covered Salem on her knees with a bucket of water next to her while scrubbing the floor vigorously. She snaps her head up and stares at him with a snarling expression.

Salem: YoU sAw NoThInG!!!

Tyrian runs out of the kitchen for his life.

----

A/n: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Oh man! That will never be not funny! Well as Salem cleans up her mess, I guess I have the next few chapters to myself. See y'all next time! Hahahaaa!