ch. 32 - July
Sora's early night was a largely sleepless one. Even after Ravi had thrown in the towel, Sora had remained awake to pore over Sam's notes on twisted machinations throttling Himura by the byline. All of the articles Sam cited indicated that the sources feeding copy to the press had inside knowledge. What wasn't clear was whether that knowledge was firsthand. Himura employed more individuals directly and indirectly than populated some sovereign nations. Picking a spy out of a number that enormous, not to mention far-flung, was akin to picking a needle out a haystack that had been scattered by a weed whacker. This is assuming we're dealing with one spy. We haven't begun to tackle a strategy for exposing multiple. The odds of Anthony employing only one mole were abysmal.
Sora ground her teeth in fatigued agitation when her office door opened to admit her middle sister Aiko the next morning. The Hana Amnesty parade continues. She shoved her dossier of offending material to the side, quite sure Aiko hadn't shown up to be the sounding board the youngest Gallegos sister needed.
"Unless you're here to take me to lunch and not talk about Ravi, we're not going to have much to say to each other."
"Hana and Yelena have said their piece, right?"
"Oh, they said their respective pieces and then some. Never let it be said the Gallegos woman lack lung capacity."
Aiko's mouth twitched. She seemed to like Sora best at her cattiest. At my most Hana.
"Something has to change. This can't go on," declared Aiko.
Sora strived for equanimity.
"Answer me this: Did you rake Hana over the coals like this when the subject was Anthony and I was half out of my mind afraid of losing him?"
Aiko exhaled sharply.
"Hana said she knew what she was doing. I took her word for it."
"And Hana's feelings are the ones that matter. Not me. Forget about Tommy and my marriage. Hana had decided she wanted something—to hell with anybody who got between her and her heart's desire." Sora hummed in lieu of laughing. "Her heart. Witty euphemism for our sister's man-eating libido."
"You stood by her when it was other people."
"You're right," Sora had to concede. "I have carried the Gallegos standard all my life long. Say I'm a liar and a hypocrite. Say I can dish it and not take it. Get it off your chest. I'm willing to listen to whatever you have to say to me."
"Sisters don't do this to each other."
Aiko's unconsciously wagging finger was peculiarly galling.
"This family does it to each other constantly. Why am I the exception? Why am I conniving when Hana's just misguided?"
"You're the upstanding one. You've always tried to do the right thing."
Once again, lobbed as a weapon against me.
"What makes this one thing so wrong?"
"Hana has loved Ravi her whole life."
"Hana has loved Ravi between detours and distractions, one of which was my husband. That was the man I expected to be loving and loved by at this point in my life. Anthony is far from perfect, but I was confident that he was at least just mine. Hana couldn't be satisfied with that. She had to have him, too."
"She didn't want to hurt you." Sora stared her sister down until Aiko began to shift on her feet. Aiko exhaled slowly. "Revenge is destructive, Sora. Getting back at her doesn't ease the hurt, it just prolongs it."
"Nothing was easing it—except for him. I was angry. I was humiliated. I was hurt deep, deep down."
"You really think this will fix it?"
Sora ignored her.
"Worse than all that is that I was so down on myself that it took me months to notice how Ravi looks at me. He doesn't look at me like I'm as unworthy as Hana and Anthony and every one of you who has told me to 'just let it go' has made me feel. He doesn't see a pale imitation of my sisters. Six months of lunch dates, flower arrangements, family outings; him holding my hand and drying my tears, trust me, confiding in me and nobody else, and I was so wrapped up in my misery I almost let him slip away. What for? He doesn't want her."
"He's said that before. He cannot keep his word."
"Oh, please, Aiko. Nobody in this town keeps their word! There have been long periods of time when they weren't together. Remind Hana about Jasmin and the family she and Ravi raised together. Remind her about Imogen's namesake and Ashley—remember her? Ravi has loved other women."
"Ravi has loved Hana for most of her adult life. Are you prepared to fight her off? You know how she can be when she's following her heart."
Sora propped her chin on her hand.
"You pretend to be neutral when it comes to me and Hana, but you always pick a side, ultimately, and it's never mine. Let's skip to the part where you tell me I'm tearing our family apart and leave it at that. I have a schedule to keep."
Aiko leaned away. "I love you both. You're both my sisters. I don't want Ravi to come between us."
"For once let's all agree that Ravi is the innocent party here. Ravi didn't come between us, Hana did that. She destroyed our sisterhood. This is me moving on." Like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere and dying trying.
"You're kidding if you think there isn't any way to do that without destroying Hana."
"I don't lie awake at night plotting to break Hana's heart like she broke mine. I lie awake and think about Tommy. I think about what I'm going to tell him about why his daddy isn't home with us when he's old enough to ask. I think about how I'm going to juggle a fussy toddler entering his terrible twos with a conference I have to attend in Beijing in four months. My life is not about her. It's bigger and vaster than she can imagine, or you, apparently.
"Doing what makes Hana happy and me miserable is not keeping the peace. That's maintaining the status quo. I refuse to do it. Do it without me."
"I'm just trying to hold it all together."
"You don't have to, that's not your place. Stop playing hall monitor and live your life. Get the man you love back, see Lawrence and your granddaughter more than once a month. We're not teenagers anymore, we don't need a mediator."
Aiko planted her hands on her hips.
"Somebody has to make the two of you see sense. Look what we have to lose."
"You know, when things with Anthony are really bad, I replay the last two years of my life, picking apart my every mistake, wishing I could have done just the right thing to keep my husband from sniffing after my sister like a dog in heat. I hate that I didn't fight harder to save my family from her—but I didn't know I had to fight and I was too sick, which evidently wasn't reason enough to win. That's not a mistake I'm going to make with Ravi. He and Dhiren and Tommy are my family. Hana cannot take that."
Aiko hissed, "Dhiren is her son. You can't keep them apart. You'd flip if anybody to stop you from seeing Tommy."
"You're right, I would. I wouldn't do that to Hana. I couldn't do that to Hana. I'm not crazy, Aiko," Sora sighed at her sister's expression. She was never allowed so much as a slip of the tongue in Hana's world.
"Nobody would know that from how you're behaving. You need to grow up. This is not a game, these are people's lives!"
Sora slammed her hand on her desk hard enough to topple her favorite framed picture of her son.
"Let's get something straight. You will not talk down to me. I am not a child any longer. Dhiren is my nephew, he will always have a place with me so long as Ravi permits it. Hana will not interfere with that. I will also not allow her to interfere with Anthony and Tommy's relationship. Furthermore, she will not interfere in my relationship with Ravi."
"She's over Ravi."
"Sell it to somebody who hasn't been here. You and Yelena can't seem to tell if you're coming or going any better than Hana can. Today, she's over him. Tomorrow, I can't listen to my voicemail for all the messages she's leaving about this 'mistake' I'm making." Sora scoffed. "Save it."
"This is a mistake. She's right about that."
"You know what, maybe it is." Sora shrugged, unruffled as can be. "This is our mistake to make. I don't know where we're headed, but I am committed to seeing this through and so is he. Furthermore, we are committed to protecting our family from anyone we deem to be a threat to our happiness. Take that back to big sis and see what she has to say about it. The two of you don't take me seriously, but you should and you should start now. I told Yelena and I'm telling you: I'll fight her this time and I'll win."
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