Clary Fray

I stare at the clock on the wall. Five more minutes. But it seems like an eternity. I'm exhausted, but I can't rest yet.

I wonder what Jace is doing right now. Is he sitting in his room at the institute, staring at the clock? Is he thinking about me? Stop thinking about Jace, I command myself, it's not doing you any good. But how can I not think about him?

"Clary!" calls Alec, "Come on, it's starting!"

The scores. I run out to the living room and crash on the couch next to Alec just as the boy's score from district one is announced.

He got a ten. Definitely a threat. The scores continue to flash on the screen. The girl from two got an eleven. Both tributes from three got eights. We're next. Alec's score is announced. He got a ten!

"Oh my God Alec!" I scream, hugging him, "That's amazing!"

He shrugs and wiggles uncomfortably out of my embrace. I turn back to the TV just as my score is announced, and I have to suppress another scream. I got a nine! That's honestly way more than what I expected.

"Good job, Clary," says Alec, "I'm sure Jace is proud of you." His voice is bitter. I know he's thinking about Magnus.

"Are you okay, Alec?" I ask.

He sighs. "Can we go back to your room?"

I hesitate, wanting to see the rest of the scores, but nod and we head back there. I lay on the bed and Alec sits in a chair. "You need to stop thinking about him," I say immediately.

Alec glares. "Like you don't think about Jace."

He's not wrong. "I'm not saying never think about him. I'm saying stop thinking about him constantly."

"At least you know that Jace cares," Alec says bitterly.

"Do you really believe that?" I ask, "that Magnus doesn't care?"

Alec shakes his head dejectedly. "I don't know what to think anymore, Clary. In my fear landscape-" Alec's voice catches in his throat. I see how hard he's trying not to cry.

"Alec," I say gently, "it's okay to cry, you know."

"I- I can't. I've spent too much time holding my feelings in, Clary. I don't know how to just let go."

"Magnus would want you to-"

"I don't care about Magnus! I'm tired of this whole thing! I wish you would just mind your own business!"

Alec's outburst startles me, but I really shouldn't be surprised. He's always been distant, but ever since we came here it's been getting worse.

"I'm sorry, Alec," I sigh, "Do you want to talk about something else?"

He looks at me. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I answer a little too quickly.

Alex glares at me. "Clary."

I sigh. "I miss him. A lot."

"I'm sure there's not a minute that goes by that Jace doesn't think about you." Once again I hear bitterness in his tone.

"Alec-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"I told you, Clary, I don't want to talk about Magnus!" exclaims Alec.

"You need to talk about it, whether you like it or not."

"Why? Why do you even care?"

I don't know, to be honest. "I just- Jace cares about you a lot. You're pretty much his brother. Which basically makes me your sister-in-law."

Alec frowns. "So that's the only reason you even bother? Jace?"

"That's not what I meant, Alec. Maybe that was why at first, but I really do care about you now."

Alec glares at me again. "Well, forget it. I've stopped caring about Magnus, so I think it's time you did too."

"Please, Alec, just listen to me!"

He stares at me sullenly. 

"I know it's probably easier for you to pretend you don't care about Magnus right now. It's easier than thinking that you'll never see the man you love again. But when you're getting ready to die, you need to cherish the memories of the people you love. When you're dying, would you rather be thinking of the good times you had with Magnus or the fact that he didn't say goodbye?"

Tears glisten in Alec's eyes. "You're right, Clary. It's just-" He summarizes one of the scenes in his fear landscape.

"Oh, Alec...." I awkwardly hug him, not really knowing what else to do.

"I'm really fine, Clary," he says, "It's just that being rejected by the people you love - even if it's just a simulation - is hard to forget."

I haven't really thought about my fear landscape. I'd prefer not to dwell on it. But Alec shared, so I feel sort of obligated to. "I saw Jace cheating on me," I say.

Alec looks at me in shock. "That's one of your fears? Seriously? How could you even imagine that Jace would ever even consider doing that?" I probably look offended, so he adds a "Sorry."

"No, it's fine. But honestly, I fear that a lot more than you might think. Because as I get to know Jace better and better, he just seems more and more perfect. I can't help wondering how I got a guy like him. Why would he like me?"

Alec smiles. "He loves you more than he loves anyone else in the world, Clary. You have no idea how much he talks about you and how much he admires you. Whenever we're hanging out, it's Clary this and Clary that. It's pretty annoying, actually.

I laugh. "Okay, I guess I have nothing to worry about. Except, you know, the interviews tomorrow. We both need sleep."

Alec nods. "See you in the morning."

"See you," I say, and he leaves the room. I shower, put on my P.J.'s and get in bed. I close my eyes, but a few minutes later I hear a noise and open them. I suck in my breath.

A boy is standing over me, pressing a seraph blade against my throat. A boy with silvery white hair and black eyes. He grins wickedly.

"Hello, little sister."

I'm guessing you all hate me now.... Hahahahahaha. It wouldn't be The Mortal Instruments without Clary's perverted phsycopath of a brother! Sorry this chapter took so long to write, I've been really busy with school and stuff. Hope you enjoyed!