HOW do I unlove you?

How do I scrub myself clean of you?

You're here.

You're still here like a fucking branded tattoo I could never get rid of.

You ruined me.

You ruined me of intimacy and love.

You ruined me of the after.

The heartache remained like a stain sunken into the fibers. A constance in the back of his mind it found a home there and stayed and never left.

Eko laid out all his love.

Unprotected, unguarded, too simple in his pride, too enamored, too obsessed, too needy to recognize that he needed to leave her.

And when it was time, no'ng sabi ng kapalaran na oras na, nagmakaawa siyang 'wag muna.

Alam niyang sobra siya magmahal. Wala siyang shortage of love. He loved a girl—he's loved a lot of girls.

But this girl.

She was always more.

I love you more, Andree.

Every time I try to love again, I love you more.

Still. Impossibly.

How am I supposed to move on?

How do I get it back?

Even if you don't want it, Andree, I'll never get it back.

'Yong iba—lahat ng pagkatapos mo—wala silang karapatan sa puso ko.

Sa 'yo lang 'to, Andree.

Kahit ayaw mo na.

Hindi ko kayang ibigay sa iba.

Bakit ikaw nakaya mo?

Paano mo nakaya?

I will never get it back.

Just like seasons, people change. Some hearts stay golden. Pure. Wrapped up and bandaged.

But others stay rotten and scabby and beyond repair and unreturned.

Every time he noticed she was pulling back, scared of the love she has for him, seemingly growing bigger at each passing day, he said, "How can I make you stay?"

He fought her at every chance. He persisted. He stayed. He fought her every time she tried to run and change her mind about them.

Even though he saw the tears in her eyes. How many tears has she cried for him? For them?

Tinaboy niya 'yon.

Sabi niya.

Please stay.

I'll change what hurts you.

I'll adjust.

What if I can change? Will you stay?

Please stay.

She said, "Do you realize how selfish this is of me to ask of you?"

"I don't care," he said. "I don't want to lose you. I don't want this to end. This is never going to end. I need you. I'm sorry."

The pain and the hurt that she kept enduring, just because she loved him...

Ilang beses din naman niya inisip na kailangan na niya pakawalan. Pero hindi niya kaya.

Sabi niya he'll let her pull the trigger.

She tried four times.

Sabi ni Andree, "Paano ko mahahanap si James kung mahal kita?"

Putangina ni James. Wala siyang pakialam. She's his.

Four times she tried to let go of him.

You can try. But I will plead, beg, bargain. I will not make it easy for you.

He kept his word. Sa apat na beses na 'yon, bumigay sa kanya si Andree.

Pero sa panlimang beses.

It was the first time he's heard her so crushed. Desperate.

Like she wanted to be free of him but couldn't. Like she wanted to leave but couldn't.

She didn't want to but had to for her own sake. For her own heart's sake.

"No."

"Eko," she whispered. "Please."

"No," sabi ni Eko. "Sorry, Andree, pero hindi. Hindi mo 'ko hihiwalayan."

"Eko, tulungan mo 'ko," she pleaded, and Eko's heart twisted in this horrible, horrible coil because she looked utterly defeated and tired and weary. "Please. Tulungan mo 'ko. Hindi ko na kayang masaktan nang paulit-ulit. Please."

This is what he was doing to her.

He saw what their love was doing to her.

"Bakit mo 'ko ginaganito, Eko?" iyak niya.

Kasi mahal kita, gusto niyang sabihin. Mahal na mahal.

Pero sabi ng kapalaran oras na.

Hindi na sapat 'yan.

Paano mo alam kung ginagawa mo ang tamang bagay para sa pagmamahal?

I love you.

So much.

It hurts.

It hurts.

Hindi niya sana gustong iwan.

Pero umabot na sa punto na kailangan na niyang iwan.