After a few days, Maya was cleaning her workout room. She was listening to some tracks such as different tracks of her popular series, Beyhadh. It satisfied her ears buds with enough intensity and darkness. Even though she did Rom-Com in her early years, now her ears would bleed from cheesy dialogues from films.

As she cleaned her room, there was a shelf that was dusty. She took a look at the clock and it was almost 8 o'clock. Cleaning the outer cover, she took a quick glance through the pages to see if anything was written. Reading a few pages, she was reminded of the beautiful days on which these were written. 

Cleaning a Navy Blue diary with a time machine on it, she flipped through a few pages to see some writings. Curiosity and Nostalgia had rushed and now she was all in giggles. The titles of her articles made her smile. Turning the pages, she found herself reading about Arjun, Mallika and their affair.

She didn't know when she had started to palpitate. Tears didn't make out but her body was getting hot. The big journal which she was holding had a lot of information she had tried to forget but had not forgotten over the years! That is why she chose drugs to comfort her but was it of any use? It gave her sleep and diverted her mind! It sure did help her consciousness but didn't it make her guilty ?

Breathing heavily, she tried to fan herself with her fingers. Her back was pressed against the bookshelf. Exhaling heavily, she tried to divert herself.

I need to think different! It's not what you think! I love you Maya.. I love you.. Look at the Garden out there..

It was just so random.. She told so many random things to her but a click definitely helped her. A thought of Rudra!

Think of Rudra! It was her main motive! Think about the moments we shared! She did think about their moments and the time they had and the new Maya she herself wanted.

But when the part of the conversation where she confessed about her past came, there was a follow-up by her brain which helped her to the initial point. She tried to walk around the room but she kept on stumbling. Picking the phone from her pocket, she threw the headphones away as they were acting as a hurdle.

Her fingers were fast enough to dial 'Ritwik (R)'. Her call was soon declined but she kept on dialling his number. She needed to talk to Rudra! She needed his number. But it failed as Ritwik had sent her a message conveying that they were in a meeting.

As she couldn't control more, she was tempted to take something which she had forgotten after a few days. Her DRUGS! She tried to stop herself but her insides were forcing her to take it. If she was being tempted, she was addicted to it. She climbed the stairs faster and pushed the door of the workout room. She fell down but the urge to consume it and make herself forget and feel better made her go forward. Opening the drawer, she found that the white box was empty. She threw it in frustration and anger. 

She tried to calm herself but nothing would prove to be effective other than DRUGS! She just had her anti-depressant tablets which wouldn't do any good to her at this last string of restraint. Going down the stairs, her palms started to sweat. Picking her phone, she dialled a number saved as 'Dealer'. Her call was declined in the beginning but she called again and luck found herself.

"Hello! I am Maya. I need **** DRUG ASAP! "

"Mam, the stocks are a...." the man was cut off as she shouted," I NEED THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! EXTRA MONEY WILL BE PAID AND DON'T WORRY! I WILL TRANSFER THE MONEY RIGHT AWAY BUT THE ITEM SHOULD REACH HERE WITHIN HALF AN HOUR!"

She cut the call and fell down. The heat which was building inside her was not doing any good! Soon her hands attacked the hairs leaving them distorted. Running her fingers through the books on the bookshelf, she just pulled the books out in frustration. 

After a few minutes, she heard the doorbell. Moving downstairs in the hurry, she just opened the door to find Rudra!

She caught him staring at her and she was in a devastated and messy state physically. She closed her eyes before welcoming him in. He didn't get inside. He asked standing outside," Is there anything wrong?"

"No, I am completely fine!" She said masking her emotions but her face was completely dropped off. She just held the door of the handle as if she was waiting for him to get inside and he got inside. The condition of her living room was contradictory to her nature of being a cleanliness freak! Maya wasn't right, Rudra thought!

Different books and papers were lying on the floor! 

Closing the door, she indicated him to sit and she was about to sit when she heard him asking," Maya, tell me what happened?"

He asked sincerely to which she shook her head in negative with a smile. She was about to sit when he tugged her wrist.

"Maya.." Rudra called her, urging her to speak up while she just sighed. As he removed the hold on her wrist, he made her sit. Maybe he would be one of the few people who could touch her like that!

"Maya, I am asking you..." Before he could complete it, the doorbell rang and she looked at him shocked. How could she consume the much-needed drug in front of him? Even though her body heat was reduced, her vital organs were waiting to take the medicines.

"Go and check what is in there." Rudra said and she just nodded heavily. She was eager but questions clouded her.  The slow steps defined her state of mind. Opening the door, she saw the carton in the hands of a person. She accepted it and thanked him. As she took the carton and closed the door using her leg, she was asked to open it while she shook her head in negative and said," It's fine! I will open it later!"

"Open it Maya otherwise you will burn from inside!" Rudra said and Maya asked knitting her eyebrows," What do you mean?"

"DRUGS! Isn't that what you wanted? Open it!" She looked shocked at his statement. His voice was a hit rude but she can guess the reason too. She couldn't face him due to the image she had in front of him. She just played with her fingers while looking at every place rather than him!

"Maya!" Rudra just held her shoulders and urged her to look up while she shook her head in negative. Two fat drops fell on the floor beneath their legs.

He spoke," I know you are an addict and I also know the fact that you take drugs for a few days. (Maya looked at him) What happened today? Tell me!"

Rudra asked in a demanding tone and shook her shoulders. His eyes were special. It held everything Maya wanted ! Support, love and compassion.

Anyway he knows a few things, why not disclose them all. Her thoughts were troubling her as she averted her gaze a place other than this face.

She stayed silent but he just pulled her closer to which she protested in the beginning but he caged her in his arms. He didn't know what had gotten into him. She struggled for a few minutes before placing her head on his chest soaking his shirt with her tears and crumpling it with her right hand. Rudra just caressed her head softly.

Rudra blew softly and patted her head soothingly. Once he felt that she was turning fine as her sobs turned down, he plucked her from his body and made her sit down. He nudged her and she spoke with her hands,

"I can't stop taking it! My body starts to react. When I came across the diary...." Her eyes flew to the diary which was lying down in an open state.  He could feel her heavy breaths because of the silence which prevailed. As he walked forward leaving Maya, he just bend down and picked the diary.

  ▪ Diary Entry Starts ▪

July 18 2017

I am sorry for not writing to you. I am so busy lately. But there is something I want to confide in with you. I saw Arjun with Mallika. He told me that he was going to meet his father but I saw him there with Mallika. I believed him when he told me that there was some urgent work! I should believe my to-be-husband right? I believe him. I called Mom and Dad to tell them about my wedding but they didn't answer my call. Hoping to see them soon!

                                                                        August 30, 2017        

I can't handle it! I saw Arjun and Mallika again in an intimate position. I can't get it out of my head! Was I cheated or should I believe him? I still can't make a decision. When my parents abandoned me due to the rumours I  was spreading, Mallika and Arjun were there. Have they cheated me? Now, it's just him. He was the one who told me the information and I considered him wrong. But, he was right! I saw them right in front of me! Should I believe my eyes or trust Arjun?

TRUST (P)

Can't you hear it breaking?
No! It wasn't a glass or anything else!
It was my heart!
It has finally broken!
And now, there is everything I need!
Except,
The broken piece of heart
Will it ever come back?
Sharing 'everything' with Arjun,
I let all the weight out of my shoulders!
What did he do?
Even be helped me!
He helped me in losing the weight of my heart!

As weather changes,
The only person to whom I can let all my emotions are....
RAIN
But when it is not present now,
It has been marked in my 'HATE' list!
Inspecting all the qualities,
What did I lack?
Or perhaps, 
What made me fall in love or share everything with him?
Was it a pretence?

Now,
I can't see anything beyond the tears which fills my eyes.
Ah! I wish I had a time machine!
But when it isn't present,
The Ashes are left behind!
They won't bury themselves,
They won't evaporate
They can't be seized,
They can't be resolved and so am I!

It taught me a lesson I had probably forgotten,
"DON'T TRUST ANYONE"

May 21, 2018

Why is everyone cheating me? I hate myself! And I am now an addict to DRUGS! I can't live without them. I hate myself! If I don't take it... I.. " 

▪ Diary Entry Ends ▪

Nothing was written as it was full of scribbling. As he turned the pages, he saw that nothing was written! Pages were torn in between and she scribbled over everything!

"Maya!" He turned aside to see her fallen on the carpet.

"Maya!" He shouted as he saw that she was having fits! White foam was coming out and her hands and legs were beating around. He tried to hold her hands but he got a kick to his jaw by her leg and his hands got loose.

Searching for car keys, he saw them hanging on a guitar key hanger. Soon enough, he picked her uncontrollable body and made her sit in the backseat. Starting the car, he drove breaking the speed limits.

As he reached the hospital, he placed her on the stretcher and the nurses who came rushing, held her hands and took her inside. It was so long and nurses were rushing in and out of the ICU. As he waited to stand against the wall, his phone rang and it was his dad. Taking a look at his watch, he knew he was late as it was already minutes past 12 am. It had been 2 hours since Maya had been bought.

He talked," Dad, I am in the hospital."

He answered the next question as if the question was 'What happened?' His answer was," Maya had seizures so I had to admit her." The call was cut from the other side. 

Taking a paper cup, he pressed for a cup of filter coffee which he drank peacefully. As he finished the coffee, a doctor came and he had a surprised expression.

"Hey Rudra, why are you here? " The doctor in her late 50's said while he greeted her and asked her," Hi Aunty! Actually, I was the one who admitted Maya here. How is she now?"

****

In the Doctor's Cabin,

"Rudra, this is confidential and we ought to keep it as a secret between me and Maya." She apologized but Rudra assured her holding her hands which was on the table, "Aunty... I know that... but as a friend... I promise I won't tell anyone!"

She was still not convinced but he persuaded her and she accepted. As they proceeded towards her cabin, he sat down after she sat.

"Actually, I know the part till Arjun had cheated her and she had also mentioned about a 'Him'. " He said and She nodded as she spoke,

"Actually, that 'He' is behind all this. It wasn't her fault to slap him when he touched her inappropriately but he took revenge on her by acting like her friend. Bad luck! After all those events, even now she is depressed. "

"What is the cause of sudden seizure when you said that it was already one and a half years since the last time she had got a seizure?" Rudra asked while she said in a casual tone,

" Maybe high levels of stress, panic, a shock or it can also be due to the fact that she might have skipped her anti-depressant but eating it regularly is also not good. She refused to take it and it's a good sign but when her symptoms are at extreme, I can't help but prescribe it. This anti-depressant too have side-effects!" She said sadly with a small smile.

He just hummed while the doctor spoke," She is still weak. Anyway, she can go tomorrow if everything is alright."

"Is there any way I can help her?" Rudra asked while she just sighed deeply and he understood what it had meant.

"By the way, who is this 'he' in Maya's story?" Rudra enquired while she said the name which shocked him to the core. There were so many villains other than him!

"Mrityunjay Roy"

He was shocked because if his favourite actress was Maya Jaisingh,  his favourite actor was Mrityunjay Roy.

"There wasn't any other incidents right?" He asked being scared.

-To Be Continued-