A/N: Long update! Read till the end!

***

It was all about the days then. She didn't want to force him to say a 'Yes'. She just needed an answer. She had sent more than ten times asking if it was a 'Yes' or a 'No'. She wasnt blocked yet as she had seen all the blue ticks for the messages.

She didn't want to be seen-zoned. It was okay if he said a 'no'. Thats what she told herself from the time she had started falling for him. He was making it difficult and the only way to reach Rudra was Ritwik. Ritwik had tried that method without even Maya's knowledge but Rudra had cut the call abruptly.

She was hard-headed for an answer. Rudra had his own assumptions that she was obsessed with him. His academics had taken a toll on him and he was appearing a few more small examinations before he could be a journalist in Snap 'N' Shots.

Day 1

As Rudra stopped at a grocery to get enough goods, he entered inside. After a few minutes, he came outside to notice a rose without its thorns. It also had a paper tied around the stem.

"Blood is red but Love is much more darker! The petals of this may fade but my love will remain stronger." 

Day 2

" Sometimes, you don't live for yourself! You live for others who care and love you so much that you are particular not to hurt them even by a wound."
"Yes or No"

Rudra read her latest Instagram post and posted a picture of her looking outside with her hand holding the pendant of two swans.

Day 3

As Maya sat down on the chair with her hair in a messy bun, she was in her own thoughts! She was thinking..

"He isn't accepting me. Why should I just beg for his love? He loves me but he can't accept it!  Am I too selfish to make him accept it? Am I forcing him too much?  Am I being too over and so impatient for his love? ..."

Maya was in her deep thought process as she laid her head on the table and played with a pen on the book in front of her.

Day 6 - Instagram Live

As Rudra scrolled through his phone, he tried his maximum to not peep into  Rishi's phone were the most wanted actress Maya Jaisingh was going live with her fans.

It was a Q&A session where she had revealed about most of her things unless and until it was very personal. She was questioned by a viewer," What is your take on any kind of  relationship?"

"For me, the relations I make aren't a give and take policy but it should be true and genuine. Don't make friends in haste. Think more than twice. If you love writing or speaking out, record your statements and weigh the pros and cons. Dont look for your personal gains. Look at the emotional gains it might give you. Don't use them for your personal gains. Do a full research about that person. Don't take decisions on a temporary emotion which may fade out after a few days. "

"It's heard that You and Rudra Roy are in a relationship? Is that true?" A viewer spoke out and she smiled before answering,

"We have a beautiful friendship between us and we are still trying to figure out if we love each other in a way that others try to assume."

"But we heard that you proposed Rudra Roy and he didn't accept!" The viewer questioned while Maya explained..

"Look! It's indeed true that I proposed him. According to me and him, he is taking his time to figure out his feelings for me. Even I appreciate that decision because once he is with me, he is going to be stuck with an insane person like me for the rest of his life. He knows me inside-out and let him decide!"

"Who would you be? A possessive lover who would do anything to get a person or a lucky person?" A viewer asked to which she said,

"A possessive lover who would do anything to get the person only if the person is worthy enough to know me more and love me without any conditions of his own. Of course, he can have conditions but he should be the most lovable person to me! I am a possessive person when it comes to true relations with true roots and stems. "

Day 7 - Going Away

"Leaving this city. A short break to an unknown place which always gifts me an extra hope to survive!"

New Shooting - Agar Pyaar Nahi Hai Toh..

As he scrolled sown her post, he took her number and was about to dial it but he restricted himself.

After the 7th day, a letter came for him on the 10th day.

Day 10- Letter

As Rudra sat on the bench, he took tore the envelope cover and opened the envelope to see a letter. It read,

Dear Rudy,

This is the first informal letter I have written in almost a decade.

Rudy, I don't think I need to explain what you are for me. This is an extra language that you have taught me. And I don't know if I have excelled in it after 3 years. I have been a failure not until the last 4 months. You have changed the whole me and I wish that  you would be with me.

If I feel someone provides me a camaraderie like a friend, love me like a true partner, protects me like a sister, I would say a 'Yes'. And for me it's you to whom I have given an approval. I don't know if you would be with me forever but I really hope that you would be with me. Love you like the most beautiful part of my life!  I just need a 'Yes' or a 'No'. You have given strength for me to handle it even if it is a No. Please don't keep me on bay. At least, don't hurt me anymore by not picking my calls up because it makes me feel what I shouldn't feel.

With lots of love, kisses and hugs I can't give you now,
........ Maya.

Feeling the nip in the air, he pulled out a brown jacket before setting out on the bike. Ignoring the calls from Jhanvi, he rode away, making his mom knit his eyebrows in confusion.

As he reached Ritwik's house, he ringed the apartment bell impatiently not once but twice and thrice. When Ritwik opened the door with sleepy eyes, he saw Rudra in a dishevelled state.

Rudra huffed in pain, tension and all the emotions he had right now. Ritwik was tensed as Rudra hugged him immediately without wasting any second. The tight hug made Ritwik fully concious and he was in absolute shock to know what made him take this step. With his palms rubbing against Rudra's back, Ritwik made him enter inside once he had withdrawn and closed the door as he lead him inside.

"What happened Rudra?" He asked as he sat next to him. Rudra fished the letter out of his pocket and gave it to him. As Ritwik read it, Rudra spoke,

"I can't hurt her anymore but I just don't know..." Rudra confessed with tears making an entry.

"Rudy, what happened? Why are you crying?" Ritwik asked while Rudra shook his head in negative before covering his nose and mouth in a prayer position. Sniffing inside all the mucous, he gulped his own fate thinking about the possibility of them.

"Rudra, I have known you for the past few years! You were spontaneous in taking your decisions and now what happened? I know the reasons you might put up but hasn't Maya moved on after she herself was guilty amongst Arjun and Maya? Rudra, you might have failed in the last two but you know your mistakes. I am not going to advocate for her but you need to give her an answer if you don't want to hurt her anymore. Just talk to her and don't avoid or ignore her even if it is a 'No' because you are the one she values the most! Give her an answer as soon as possible but make a call first. That's my take on it."

After a few moments of silence, Rudra just hummed and Ritwik adviced," Say a 'No' if its a No. She wouldn't question you.. Even though I would like the opposite."

" I am scared of repeating my past, my habits, my attitude. I am scared that I may not be there for her when she needs me as a life partner.  I took both of my relationships lightly, taking their behaviour as an advantage. I am scared about the usage of my words. You know.. right that I have hurt her with my words.... Both my past relationships failed due to that. I didn't give them time and I can't promise her something which I cant give them. Even if I promise her and then break it, she is so ... brittle even though she wears a face of being strong outside.  She values me the most now and I don't want to ruin her expectations. I don't want to hurt her with my behaviour.."

"But aren't you hurting her now with all your acts of ignorance? You weren't  attending her calls or anything."

Ritwik counter-questioned him knitting his eyebrows accompanied by a glare while making him tongue tied.

"Rudra, you know what is going inside you and you have to accept it. It's just the over-affection you have towards her. It's the LOVE that is making you think and do like this but your same Love is hurting her. ."

"Don't hurt her with your love. All these are your unwanted insecurities. She matters to you right?" Ritwik asked and Rudra said immediately, " Of course!"

"You won't hurt her intentionally right?"

"No but what if I. .."He was stopped by Ritwik who said," Stop right there! Leave the past mistakes aside after you've learnt your lessons!"

"You won't hurt her intentionally, you care for her, you love her. Is there anything else needed?" Ritwik asked nudging him.

"Ritwik but.." Rudra started while He said," If it's about your silly insecurities, keep it aside man! At least, start a conversation."

"By the way, how are you going to approach her?" Ritwik asked after a few seconds when Rudra had calmed down. Rudra shrugged his shoulders upon the question and took a look at those places where ink was smudged due to his tears..

Day 12

He was calling her from the day he had returned from Ritwik but her phone was either out of order or she wasn't picking his calls. Making his mind up, he decided to call Maya yet again. Today, he was so desperate to get to her and initiate something. Even if she didn'tget an answer, he needed to talk to her. Since it was a Sunday, he was free for the next few hours unless and until something urgent would come up.

Dialling the number yet again, he didn't get any reply. He heard the service provider's voice saying the same thing over and over again," The number you are calling is either busy or  currently switched off."

Switching the call to her bodyguard whose number he had taken, he got to know that she was in her shooting location of her new film.

As he took his bike, he waited patiently to reach her. As he reached, he heard that Maya was inside the vanity. Knocking from outside, he waited impatiently. Opening the door, she looked at him. A shock was evident on her face but being an actress, she managed to hide it and ignored him. Walking back to the mirror, she applied the eyeliner slowly, trying not to look at Rudra who was desperate.

"Rahim!" She called out and the van started moving. He trembled at the sudden start of vanity and held onto the handle for a sudden support. He was shocked to react as he knit his eyebrows in confusion.  Rudra looked at Maya who had moved to apply her lipstick right now and asked," Why is this moving now?"

"I have my shooting right now and we are travelling to the location. If you want, you can sit inside otherwise you can move out!" She said cooly Rudra spoke in seriousness.

"Maya, I need to talk to you."

Maya spoke in a heavy voice as the car halted," I actually need to change, if you can move out...."

She just stretched it while Rudra said stressing each and every word of his being a bit of angry," I need to talk."

"Rudra,  I am on shoot and the crew is waiting outside.." She explained right onto his face while he huffed in anger before opening the door and slamming the door shut behind him. Taking a deep breath, she arched her head to the door frame and wiped her tears before getting ready.

~~~~~

Shock was another emotion Rudra experienced now! The atmosphere which he was under or rather was under after being pushed out was decorated! The small place which was a private portion of one of a beach was decorated. Clearing the cloud of confusion, he heard a click which snapped him out of this trance, making him look at Maya who was clad in a beautiful dress that matched the atmosphere. 

She blinked her eyes and her fingers mingled with each other as she walked towards him while Rudra was still shocked to believe it. As Maya took an initiative to entwine their hands, they walled forward hand in hand. Rudra's shock had turned into a slight smile.

As Maya stopped a bit forward with her hand extending a bit back, Rudra too stopped. She looked towards them and they stood face-to-face. With their entwined hands extended to the side, she confessed,

" Rudra, That day, I agree that the sudden proposal was due to MJ. He kind of instigated me and threatened me that you will leave me forever. Everything came out due to the drink but it was there from the time I had recognized my feelings. I kept it inside so that I wouldn't hurt myself but when it came out, I didn't regret it either because that was the truth and there was no point in hiding it from you. I wanted to be... kind of.. transparent.. At this stage of life, I can't forget you or maybe see you in the same eyes as of a friend unless and until you clear the air between us. Manali taught me how much I missed you and how much I craved for your small presence. The conversations we had, just spurted out and... I... When you didnt talk  after that, I was just feeling okay. It just made me miss you so much that I had to break my shooting schedule and come in between to meet you.. I... You have been the turning point in my life and a key to a 'me' with qualities I never found after the past three years within that doomed life of mine.. I am grateful for everything you have done and my love and respect has only increased. Rudra, you are a kind of.. you kmow.. a best friend, a brother and a life partner without whom I wouldn't regret spending my time with. I can avoid the last part once you say a 'No' to our couple life. I won't mind it until you ignore and hate me."

"Maya, why do you want...." He asked trailing his voice with disappointment clinging in his eyes but he was interfered by Maya who wore a smile behind the tears she held... She said," Sorry for troubling you with these. It's better we leave. Thanks for the answer and please do not ignore me since you have cleared everything between us. "

As she moved away, her fingers which were entwined with him loosened but he was fast enough to twirl her around. His action didn't stop there as he placed his lips on hers..

- To be Continued -