~Chapter 31~

"Axel?" I choked out, quickly wiping any remnants of my tears away before he could notice.

He stopped a little under a meter in front of where I was sitting. "Hey Freckles," he murmured, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand.

"How did you find me?"

"Well you disappeared for nearly an hour and Brooke and mum were asking about you. I knew you wanted your space and if you still do I'll go but it's freezing and wet out and you forgot your coat when you just ran out." He gestured to my coat that he was now holding. "Why did you run out?"

"That doesn't answer how you found me," I said, not wanting to answer his question.

He flushed slightly. "Oh... um well, I tried the park around the corner but you weren't there so I thought about all the spots near here that I liked to go to when I wanted to think or be alone. This was third on the list. Not many people know about it so it was a long shot but lucky I still checked I suppose. Anyway, here." He tried giving me my coat but I pushed it away. "You'll get sick otherwise. It's wet and freezing cold."

The concern in his eyes was evident but I still shook my head. "I like the rain." That was a lie and he knew it. Cold and wet weather was the worst thing in existence. Axel stared flatly at me but I just shrugged in return, crossing my bare arms over my chest.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing."

"Harper."

"Axel."

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration clear in his expression. "Come on, Harper. What's wrong? Please just tell me."

"Nothing. I'm fine." I sure was lying to him a lot today.

"Stop that."

"What?"

"Hiding and shutting me out. We've always been open and honest with each other so what's wrong? What happened? You were fine earlier then suddenly you ran out. Was it something I did?"

Yes, yes it was.

I didn't want to be cold towards him, especially when he was being nothing but caring and gentle but I had to; to protect myself, my heart, so I merely shrugged again, not meeting his eyes.

"For fucks sake, Harper, just tell me. Please. Don't shut me out. I don't understand. What did I do?" he asked, his voice cracking and the sound shattered my heart into a million pieces.

Keeping up my resolve, I scoffed. "Don't shut you out? Isn't that exactly what you've been doing to me?"

His brow furrowed. "I don't shut you out. Why would you think that?"

Even now he was trying to communicate openly with me, without so much as getting slightly angry and it was utterly infuriating. I loved how understanding and thoughtful he was but right now I wished he was anything but. It made it impossible to stay upset with him. He was too perfect, far too good for me.

I sighed, feeling defeated. "I know nothing about you, Axel."

His eyes were fixed on mine as he sat next to me on the bench, resting my coat over my shoulders, the thick material acting as the perfect barrier against the cold. "Freckles, I share things with you that I've never told anyone. No one, not even Zack, knew that my middle name is Leopold. I never tell people about the fact that I got a butterfly tattoo under my left butt cheek for a dare from a random guy I met drunk at a bar when I was eighteen but I told you only a few weeks after we met. Or how about that when I was little I dreamt of being an architect and designing houses for a living; I'd spend hours of the night dreaming up concepts and drawing them in crayon the next morning but I was so embarrassed that I never even showed my mother but you know about it. I even showed you one of the pictures I drew. I've always shared things with you. Things I've never even dreamed of wanting to tell anyone else."

He was right. I did know all those things. The things that made Axel who he was down to his very bones. Yet, there was still a big piece missing from the puzzle. "I'm not saying that you don't," I said gently, the iciness I was carrying had begun to thaw under his intense gaze. "You've told me about parts of you that are so private and secret and I'm so glad that you're comfortable doing so but that's not what I'm talking about.

"I've told you everything about me. All the harsh stories of my past and all the vulnerabilities that have made me the partially broken mess that I am today. But I don't know any of the big things about you, Axel. I don't know about your past or your family. I didn't know you had a little brother until I'd met him. Hell, I don't know your mum's name. You've kept so much about you private and you're entitled to do so but it hurts, Axel. I've bared my entire self, scars and all, to you and yet you've not done the same.

"I can't make you tell me things you're not comfortable with and I understand that completely but I'm confused. Why wouldn't you tell me? I don't know why it bothers me so much if I'm honest... that's a lie, I do," I paused gulping. Axel had his full attention on me, his eyes not wavering from mine for even a second.

He was listening to every word I was saying, taking it all in and processing it. He was trying to understand it all and my heart warmed at the gesture. Never in my life had someone shown me such care and wanted to establish proper communication. He wanted to understand, to fix our problem and knowing that made the next words a fraction easier to force out.

"It's because... it's because I like you, Axel, a hell of a lot. So much more than I ever thought I would. You came into my life and stuck with me through all my difficult times. You didn't run away at the first sign of danger or recoil from me because of my past. You listened and understood. You've been there for me in ways no one ever has and I care for you. I know I'm not the best with words I never have been and now I'm rambling and I feel really stupid. You've always been so much better at talking and now I feel like we've switched roles. I'm used to you talking and me listening and smiling at what you say. This all—"

I was cut off by Axel pressing his lips against mine in the softest caress. It wasn't fierce or demanding but tender and caring as if he understood the mass of word vomit I had just spewed. Axel's thumb wiped away a few drops of rain from my cheek and we pulled apart, our breathing shallow as we stared at each other.

"I thought you didn't like me like that," I muttered pathetically, my eyes drifting downwards.

Softly, he grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger so I was looking back up at him. "Why on earth would you ever think that?" he asked with a bemused smile.

"Earlier on when we were on the sofa and you... hesitated."

He flushed a bright pink, the colour reaching the tips of his ears. "Oh right, that... it's because... it's because. Fuck, how do I explain this? Basically... well ummm..." he cleared his throat, casting his eyes towards the wet gravel beneath the bench. "It's actually to do with what you were just talking about. When we kissed for the first time... it's stirred feelings in me I didn't know could exist. I've known that I've liked you for a good while but that... I've never felt anything like it. It made me realise that I want you in my life for a long time. But I realised if I wanted that, I couldn't keep things from you. The 'big things' as you like to call them." He smiled a bit but it didn't reach his eyes.

"So, I promised myself that I wouldn't tell you how I felt or act on it until I explained everything to you because it's only fair that you know just how damaged I am."

I gripped his hand tightly in my smaller one. "You're not damaged, Axel."

He scoffed bitterly. "Oh, I am. And I don't want to even think about the possibility of there being a future with you until you know me properly. Until you know everything. Because I don't think I could handle it if you realised how damaged I was two years down the road and decided to leave me. It's better if you know now."

Axel breathed in deeply, clutching my hand even tighter than I was his.

"If... if you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I understand."

He shook his head vehemently. "No. I do. You bared yourself to me and it's only fair I do the same, for both our benefits."

He let go of my hand, now tapping the arm of the bench as he stared at the cloudy sky. "My real name isn't Axel, it's Alexander."

What?

My mind flashed to earlier today.

I was spared any further embarrassment by the sound of footsteps, followed by the front door opening, the hinges squeaking in protest. "Alexander! Joseph! Je suis á la maison!"

His mother had called him Alexander and I hadn't even registered it.

"My father," he forced out the word through gritted teeth. "Was called Alexander and named me after him. I was an unplanned pregnancy and both my parents were young, nineteen, so money was tight but we got by, managed just barely.

"As the years went on, our situation improved slightly, not much but enough that we had a roof over our heads and enough food to be comfortable. I don't remember much of those years but I remember my father being decent enough. We would go outside and play football on his days off and he'd sometimes even take me for ice cream as a treat. We were a normal working-class family.

"Then mum found out she was pregnant with Joey. My father went ballistic. I still remember my parents shouting at each other that night about how they couldn't afford another child, I was too much as it was. He'd flipped the dining room table over and stormed out. Mum and I fell asleep that night crying in each other's arms.

"The next morning, all of his stuff was gone as well as the money mum and him had been saving. The bastard took it all and left his pregnant fiancé and son alone and penniless. He'd abandoned us.

"Mum was heartbroken. She really loved him and I think a part of her still does for some twisted reason. I mean, that's the only explanation I can come up with for why she didn't sell her engagement ring all those years ago when we were so short on cash — I've never actually asked her about it 'cause it's, understandably, a sore subject. Anyway, we moved in with my grandma into her two-bedroom flat so we'd at least have somewhere to stay now that we could no longer afford our own apartment and mum completely threw herself into work in order to pay for us all, taking every extra shift possible at the hospital.

"I was twelve when he left and couldn't do anything to help mum. It broke me to see her work herself to the bone like that just to survive and provide for her family. By the time I was fourteen, I couldn't bear it anymore. I started looking around for any odd jobs I could do to make money and help mum out. It started off simple but the jobs gradually got more and more dangerous... and illegal.

"I would be the getaway driver for robberies or help hot-wire cars or make the plans to help hijack stores or be the one to beat people for information others wanted. I was someone for hire when jobs needed to be done. Bad jobs. Some worse than those I've mentioned. Jobs no one else wanted. I'd adopted the name Axel as an alias and I guess it just stuck. I liked that it separated me from my father and finally rid me of his presence.

"I thought that was going to be my life forever. I thought maybe I'd join a gang for real and live out my life until I was inevitably killed. The money was decent and meant mum could relax a bit more — even if she thought it came from a part-time job at the supermarket — so it was worth it for me. My life didn't mean much to me anyway."

I gave him a look then, one which I hoped conveyed that his life meant a great deal, if not to him, to me. The weak smile he flashed in return did little to calm me but he continued his story all the same.

"But then, the most amazing thing happened to me. Liam texted me saying his agent had seen me on his Instagram and wanted me to try out modelling. Within the week I was signed to an agency and had a real job. They preferred the name Axel too, saying to was more marketable, especially with the tattoos. So, I officially became Axel Knight, the dangerous brooding bad boy heartthrob the media wanted and got my first gig.

"Yes, the money was crap at first and I was tempted to go back to before but mum encouraged me to continue and said it would all get better. She was right. I got lucky and managed to do some highly publicised gigs and within a year I was one of the most talked-about models in the business and I was making enough money to sustain me and send a good chunk back to mum as well. She could finally rest and only have to work a few days a week.

"Things were finally looking up and another year passed in peace. But then I got a message from my father. It had been almost eight years since I'd heard from the twat and he messaged me asking for money. Said he was in some deep shit and needed help. I refused and ignored his messages. A few weeks later, I found out he'd been shot to death and knew it was because he hadn't paid back the money he owed.

"In his will, he'd left all he had — which really wasn't much — to me. Not mum, not Joey but me. I was so angry and hurt and confused and upset and I even felt guilty. I was a mess of emotion and was all over the place, getting drunk every night and being hungover at work. I was throwing my life in the bin but I didn't even care. All my wounds from childhood had opened up and I felt completely empty and broken.

"It was Zack who eventually managed to convince me to get help and go to therapy. I owe him my life," he paused, his fingers no longer drumming on the armrest. Instead, they were now wringing together, his usually-tanned face whiter than paper as he refused to meet my gaze.

Eventually, he managed to find his voice again but was much quieter than before as he spoke. "Things weren't great but I was holding on, I was surviving and then I met you."

My heart stopped at the loving tone he used, his hand now finding mine in the space between us on the wet bench. His throat bobbed but he continued his story and I listened intently, clinging to every word. "I still remember that first night we met on your birthday — July 2nd. I'd been hearing about you for so long through Zack and Liam but it was so different when we finally met. I remember not being able to take my eyes off of you the whole night as we talked and laughed even when your friends had disappeared. The conversation was so easy and it flowed so effortlessly. I don't think I've ever connected with anyone nearly as fast as I did with you.

"I wanted to tell you things, felt inclined to share my life and tales I usually kept to myself. There was something about you that just kept pulling me in, like this invisible tether between us and I remember wishing that you felt it too.

"You were the most stunning girl I'd ever laid my eyes on but it was so much more than that, ran so much more deeply than that. I felt seen when I was with you. It was like you saw, understood and accepted the real me without all the masks and facades. I wasn't Axel Knight. Hell, I wasn't even Alexander Leopold Knight; I was just Axel. I felt wanted for who I was and as our friendship grew, I realised how much that meant to me, how much you meant to me.

"You brightened up my dull world. It was like I was in black and white and could finally see colour again. You cared for me and enjoyed spending time with me. You didn't want anything from me. You were genuine and loving. And then you opened up to me and I finally saw you for everything you were. I knew you'd been hiding behind a mask as well and when you removed it, I swear I've never witnessed a person more beautiful, more perfect, more lionhearted, scars and all.

"I only hope that you can see past my flaws too," he whispered, his voice getting impossibly quieter, barely carrying across the wind. "I know I'm closed off and need to work on sharing how I feel and I know I'm still pretty broken inside and probably always will be. Despite everything, I can't help but blame myself for what happened to my father. Even if he was a bastard, I could've helped him.

"So I knew exactly what you were going through with Belle and how much that sort of grief hurts but maybe... maybe we can help each other heal and grow together because I want you in my life for a long time, Freckles. I lo-like you in a way I can't even begin to describe. So maybe we can move into the next stage of our lives together and you would make me so unbelievably happy by being my girlfriend?... If you'd like that?"

His ears were pink and it was likely only partially from the cold. His eyes met mine and they were bright, lively and full of so much hope and want.

I was speechless. Axel, like me, felt damaged yet he was anything but. In my eyes, he didn't need fixing or changing, he was perfect just the way he was.

He wanted a future with me. He'd admitted to feeling for me the way I did for him. He wanted to be with me. My heart was so full that it might've burst from my chest.

I didn't have the words to reply so I chose to stand up, my coat falling from my shoulders, bare skin once again vulnerable to the harsh weather but I didn't care. I pulled Axel up by our joined hands so we were standing inches apart and I was looking up into his mesmerising honey eyes.

I went onto my tiptoes, linking my arms around his neck. He pulled my face into his hands and pressed our lips together, the rain thundering down harder and pelting onto our hair and skin. It made me hold him tighter as he deepened the kiss and I finally got to explore him in a way I'd been yearning to for so long.

The elephants in my stomach were dancing and my knees were weak, my whole body feeling like jelly due to the euphoric feeling blossoming in my very soul.

Eventually, we pulled apart for air, our foreheads pressed together and my mind trapped in a dizzying spin. We laughed as we looked at each other, both drenched in rain and looking a mess. It was the best sight I could've ever beheld.

I realised, standing there with our hands interlocked and bodies so impossibly close together, that this was truly what I wanted. Axel made me feel stronger as if his assets complimented mine perfectly, amplifying them.

Further than that, I finally understood him for who he was and I loved every inch of what I saw. I'd always felt useless and as if I was the disappointment of my siblings, the one who had fallen from grace — the fallen King — but Axel had helped me realise that I was anything but.

I was no longer that helpless and vulnerable sixteen-year-old girl — even if I did still have flashbacks to her every now and then — who knew nothing of the world and was desperate to fit in, doing absolutely anything and everything to please those around her. Yes, I might still have had my bad days and moments when my world was falling apart but everyone did. Maddie, Winter, Liam, Damien, Zack and even Axel — the boy I'd always believed was so well put together and never struggled or faced hardships. Even he had his bad days but we could face them together, mine and his.

I didn't have to do this alone anymore. Although I could've managed just fine without anyone, there was a certain comfort in Axel being there. He always knew how to calm me down or put me at ease and I'd not been able to stop thinking about him since the day we met, exactly six months ago.

To me, Axel was that guy — the one I couldn't let slip through my fingers — and I refused to let my previous bad experiences stop me from taking this leap. Yes, I'd been hurt before but deep down I just knew that I had to take this chance, for better or for worse I had to.

Between breaths, I murmured three words I meant with my entire heart, each packed with worlds of emotion and promise. "I'd like that."

He grinned, his golden eyes bright enough to illuminate the entire world.

We closed the distance and kissed again and again and again.

THE END

~*~*~

(Edit: there is an epilogue now so one more chapter left ❤️)

That's it. TFK is actually over! (If there's anything you'd like to see from these guys again in the future (bonus chapter ideas?) let me know)

Thank you all so so so much for sticking with me this past year and giving Harper's story a chance. I really hope you've enjoyed reading it just as much as I have writing it.

If you liked it don't forget to vote, comment and share it with a friend. Your support means the absolute world to me and I'm so grateful for each and every one of you ❤️❤️.

I honestly can't believe it's over. I've had so much fun writing this book, more so than any of my other stories and I'm so happy with how it's come out. Normally, I get bored of characters by the end and start nitpicking at all of their faults but I genuinely love all of them this time. Also, being able to see the progress and improvement of my writing throughout the story (and compared to my other books) is crazy and I have you guys to thank for encouraging me to carry on writing because of all the love you've shown my stories x

I've already got ideas swirling in my mind for the next book so drop me a follow to be notified when I publish it as well as for any updates about my writing and stories in general ☺️

Lastly, I'd love to know who's your favourite character and why?

For the last time, stay safe my lovely readers xx