~Chapter 29~

Was feeling empty a valid emotion? Because that was the only way to describe how I felt in that moment. Numb.

Mother and I stared at each other, neither of us daring to break eye contact first. She looked terrified and I was sure I just appeared vacant. I had no words. What was I supposed to say?

It made sense the more I thought about it. The tanned skin, the hazel eyes, the straighter noses. It was like slotting the final piece of a puzzle into place.

"Harper?" Mother finally whispered, the uninterrupted quiet getting to her.

"Don't," I said sharply when I saw her open her mouth about to try and explain her actions. "Don't even bother."

I was sitting down but my legs were still trembling and my hands were shaking. Dad didn't deserve this. "Tell him."

She shook her head violently, the most ungraceful thing I'd ever seen her do. "No, and Harper you will not either. Our marriage is on thin ice as it is. This will break him."

"He deserves the truth," I insisted, refusing to let my eyes stray from hers. For once, I would meet mother head-on and would not back down. I had to do this for dad. He had a right to know. When she shook her head again, I threw my arms up in exasperation. "Mother, if you don't tell him I will. It'll be a lot better if he finds out from you rather than me."

"Harper, I will not. Our family is too fragile at the moment. This is not the right time," she tried to reason but I was having none of it.

I stood up, brushing invisible dust off from my jeans. "It's been over seventeen years. You've had plenty of time," I spat. "Mother I thought you wanted to change."

"I do."

"Then make this right."

"I can't," she said, her eyes shining with tears.

I wanted to comfort her. I could tell that she regretted this wholeheartedly because mother never cried. She never showed emotion. But I didn't. My mind was focused on dad, the parent who had been there for me from the start.

"I hope this doesn't ruin our relationship, mother because, truly, I'd love to rebuild it with you but I have to tell dad, I'm sorry," before she could try to stop me, I was out the door, taking the stairs two at a time to reach dad's study as fast as I could.

Out of habit, I knocked before entering, hearing a familiar 'come in' before I pushed open the heavy oak door.

Dad was sat behind his desk, typing away on his keyboard until his bright blue eyes flicked up to meet mine. "Harper," he said warmly, gesturing for me to sit opposite him in a plush, faux leather armchair. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hey dad," I returned, trying to smile back but it was obviously forced.

Dad immediately sat up straighter, giving me his full attention. He would always notice when something was wrong with me, be it big or small. "What's wrong, darling?"

My words caught in my throat. How was I supposed to tell him that the twins weren't his children? I couldn't just casually throw it into a conversation. Maybe this was a bad idea. I breathed out heavily, not meeting his gaze as I rubbed my fingers together — an anxious habit of mine. "There's something I need to tell you."

He nodded encouragingly, waiting for me to continue with a patient smile on his face.

Dad didn't deserve this.

Just say it, Harper, I coached myself. Rip the plaster clean off; it'll be easier that way. "Dad I'm going to tell you something really serious. Just promise me you won't freak out."

"You're not pregnant are you?" he joked and I cracked a smile, the tension lifting from my shoulders slightly.

"Not this time," I grinned mischievously.

He sent me a playful glare. "Careful missy. I've already become a grandad much too early. Don't add a second one to the list just yet."

I rolled my eyes. Breathe, Harper. "It's the twins," I finally said.

His fingers clenched around the desk as if he was readying himself to stand up. "Are they alright?"

"They're fine," I reassured him quickly and he slowly relaxed. "I— it's just... there's something you should know."

"Harper, darling just say whatever it is you're trying to. It sounds like you're about to tell me you've murdered someone and I know it's not that bad. I'll be fine. Just tell me," he encouraged, still smiling at me.

I wished I wasn't about to make that smile vanish. "They're not your kids," I whispered.

"What?"

"I said they're not your kids. Mum had an affair with uncle Mitch," I said louder, unable to look at him. "I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you."

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

"Harper?" Dad said so gently that I was surprised it was him talking. "Harper, darling look at me."

I shook my head, knowing the tears were threatening to escape from my eyes. "Harper, please."

I couldn't deny the vulnerability of his tone so hesitantly I looked up. He ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair — dad usually dyed his hair back to its original inky black colour but recently he'd been neglecting to do so, much too caught up with grief, letting his grey strands show.

Looking at him like this made me realise how tired he looked. There were bags under his eyes, his face looked slightly worn and his usually clean-shaven face was adorned with light stubble. Dad looked... older? He sighed sadly as he looked at me. "I know."

"What?" I blinked.

"I know about the twins," he murmured.

"I—how?"

"Your mother told me a long time ago."

"But she said you didn't know," I said, puzzled.

He tried to give me a weak smile. "I doubted that she'd remember. It was a few weeks after the twins were born. We'd gone on a night out because your mother was so stressed and I wanted to cheer her up. She had a bit too much to drink and started just crying on my shoulder. Your mother isn't a sad drunk, rather she's the opposite, so I was confused.

"She ended up confessing to me in the taxi on the way home about how she'd slept with Mitchel and that the twins were his. It made sense because I'd been on a business trip around the time they'd had to have been conceived but I hadn't realised that until she'd said it. It broke my heart, Harper."

I stared at him for a long moment, regarding him silently. "Then... then why did you stay with her?" None of this made any sense.

He again ran a hand through his hair. "It's not that simple, darling. Your mother and I... we've always had a complicated relationship. We've been together since we were fifteen and got married at nineteen. We were young and foolish.

"Don't get me wrong, I loved your mother with all my heart — I still do — but we were far too young for that. Neither of us was emotionally mature enough for a marriage. How can you give yourself completely to someone else when you don't even know who you are yourself yet? We thought love would be enough. We were so blinded by it that we forgot to be rational.

"Shortly after, we realised that money was going to be a big issue so I started my own business and your mother debuted as a petite model for the first time. Neither was an easy career path and naturally, we both got so swept up in work. But this is where I was at fault. No matter how busy she was, your mother always made time for me. She did everything to hold our marriage together and I just wasn't reciprocating that energy.

"I was far too focused on building up the business. So much so that I almost forgot about Camilla entirely, something I'll never forgive myself for. She was always there trying to help me. 'Marriage is about sharing burdens and stress' she would say but I always brushed her off. I created that distance between us and all these years later it's still there because of me.

"I was a driven young man and I let my work consume me. That wasn't fair to her. I know that now but at the time I didn't realise or care enough. I was blind-sighted as to how I was destroying my marriage right before my very eyes. Of course, Camilla could only put up with my neglect for so long. We both loved each other far too much to divorce or anything of the sort but it could've only last so long before she tried to find comfort in others.

"I'm not excusing her behaviour, Harper. Cheating is wrong but I can't blame it all on your mother. It was my fault too. I pushed and pushed and pushed until she had nowhere left to go.

"So please, don't be so hard on her. I know you've never had the closest relationship with her but she tries. She tries so hard, darling but it never seems to work out for her. I need you to see this from her perspective. Your mother isn't the villain, Harper. She's a poor victim of circumstance."

I sat still, taking in all my father had just said. He knew. He knew about the twins. He knew about the cheating. He knew about uncle Mitch.

"But— but that's your brother and your wife."

He winced.

Too blunt, Harper? By the pained look on his face, definitely. "Sorry."

Dad shook his head, trying to rid his face of that awful expression. "You've nothing to be sorry for, darling. You're straight to the point — don't change that. But yes, Mitchel and your mother.

"I won't lie to you and say that didn't hurt me. It did, more than anything I've ever experienced but as I've said it's not your mother's fault. If anything, it's Mitchel's. He knew that she was in a vulnerable state and took advantage of that... but... but I still can't fully blame him," he sighed, looking off into the distance with a sullen look on his face.

"Why?"

"Like your mother, Mitchel was going through a lot at the time. You know how you've always wondered why your uncle is still single at his age?"

I nodded warily.

"Well, it's because a few months prior to his affair with Camilla, his fiancé died. She had stage 4 breast cancer so there really wasn't much hope but Mitchel stayed positive. He was with her every step of the way, holding her hand until the very end.

"Aria was the sweetest and kindest person I'd ever met and it destroyed him when she died. Mitchel's never been able to look at a woman the same since. So, I suppose him and your mother found comfort in each other and I know it was a one-time thing. It still hurts me but I suppose I somewhat understand. I have been a pretty lousy husband.

"I managed to convince Camilla to let him name the twins. She didn't remember telling me about the affair but since she knew Mitchel had been having a rough year I convinced her that this would cheer him up and she agreed. He deserved to at least name his kids even if he still has no clue they're his."

I was speechless. The level of selflessness and understanding dad was showing made absolutely no sense. "How can you be so forgiving, dad? Regardless of what happened, she cheated on you with your brother."

"I don't expect you to understand, darling. But you have to look at the situation as a whole, not just individual events — at least, that's how I see it. I know what your mother did was wrong but I'm not innocent in our relationship either. I've cheated on her too, even if it was out of spite, so I can't be so hypocritical of her. I just wish things were different between us. I miss how we used to be all those years ago..." dad trailed off, staring wistfully into the distance.

"So you knew all this time?"

He nodded.

"And you forgive her?"

He nodded again and smiled gently at the baffled look I gave him. "Love does crazy things to your mind, darling. I don't know how to explain the feeling but one day you'll experience it yourself. You'll meet that someone who you'd move mountains for and want to spend the rest of your life with."

Axel.

"How do you know if they're the right person, dad?"

He gave me a knowing smile. "It's a feeling you get whenever you so much as think of them. They can put your mind at ease by simply being with you. The best way I can think to explain it is to imagine your life without them. Do you feel an emptiness? A hole that you know no one else could ever fill? Then they might be that person... and Camilla is definitely that person for me, Harper. Trust me when I say your mother is a good woman so please don't think badly of her."

Even now dad still praised mother with all his heart despite all they'd been through. Was that true love? Did that really exist?

"Dad," I said a few moments later and he hummed in recognition. "Why don't you fix things with mother?"

He didn't meet my eyes as he ran a hand through his messy hair. "It's not that easy, darling. We have decades of problems and mistakes in our way."

I shrugged. "You love her, dad and I know she adores you." It was the small things like the way her eyes lit up when he was mentioned. "So why don't you fix it? You both miss how things used to be. The longer you wait the worse it gets. I know you want to mend your relationship so take that leap, dad. Be happy again."

"I don't know, Harper," he paused, watching me warily.

I stood up, the armchair making a disgusting noise as it scraped against the wooden floor. "There's no point in regrets or 'what ifs', dad. Who knows how much longer we have left," I said, leaving the room but not before giving him one final smile of encouragement.

Zack would be proud of me for that; he always said to live in the moment.

I walked to my room, confused but lighter. If mum and dad could mend their relationship even after the seemingly impossible circumstances then maybe there was hope. Hope for them. Hope for our family. Hope that love did still exist. A warmth spread through me at the thought, all the way to my toes and in that moment I could almost feel Zack standing there with me, just as hopeful as I was.

~*~*~

I just wanted to mention I am in no way condoning cheating and I don't agree with it. However, different couples deal with and act on things differently hence Harper's dad's reaction to it and his choice to forgive Camilla given that he believed the circumstances to allow for it.

Essentially, the actions of his character in no way express my views on the matter.

On a lighter note, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and it made you smile. If you did, please don't forget to vote and comment. It really helps me out 💜❤️

Only two chapters left guys 🥺. Im still trying to come to terms with the fact that the story is nearly over because I get way too attached to my characters 😂

Anyway, until next time my lovely readers, stay safe xx