~Chapter 25~

I'd been having a lot of days recently where it felt like my world was crashing down around me and every day it was getting harder and harder to pick up the pieces.

So, as a result, I'd thrown myself into my work a lot more than normal and it had actually been paying off. My career was soaring and despite all the trauma and hardships in my life at least there was one silver lining. I needed that, so much.

Currently, I was in Milan for a runway show of Amelie Prescott's new line — she was a world-famous designer with fashion houses all over the world, being in one of her shows was no easy feat.

A few of my friends were here too like Chris Cortez but, of course, that didn't stop me bumping into people I'd rather not see and by people I meant Moira Ross.

I'd been blessed a kind mercy in the sense that she hadn't spoken a word to me over the last few days but her being around still wasn't a pleasant idea. It was sad to think that someone you used to be so close to could turn into quite the opposite in the blink of an eye; the world just moved on too quickly, so fast that it often gave me whiplash.

Despite this, I still loved my job and all the opportunities it gave me such as this. Unfortunately, however, today was my final day here before flying back home and I was walking my final show for Amelie.

For my final outfit of the night, I was dressed in the highest black thigh high heeled boots, embellished with stunning lace details along with a black ruffled midi dress with enough tulle to make any bride jealous. There was intricate beading, lacework and stitching all over the bodice, all woven together in the most cohesive yet striking way. My hair was styled with a curled half up half down look and my makeup was dark and smokey.

I didn't feel like myself walking down that runway, although I rarely ever did. Instead, I was this high fashion supermodel who was engrossed in this dark, almost gothic, pallet. I oozed confidence and purpose as I walked, claiming this style as my own even if it was something the real Harper would never wear.

It wasn't long until the show was over and I was taking my heavy makeup off backstage, smiling at everyone who walked past where I was seated, congratulating each of them on a job well done. It was obvious that the crowd loved Amelie's designs; even if this type of couture really wasn't my style, it was still a hit with the critics and press.

The entire show was executed beautifully from the layout of the room to the music chosen, to the lighting crew's attention to detail and so on. I couldn't fault it and that was rare to find. From this alone, it was clear that Amelie took great pride and care in her work which was almost unheard of amongst designer nowadays. Most got swept up in the fame and publicity, losing the passion and dedication to their work — cough cough, mother.

As a result of this, the atmosphere of the room was electric and cheerful, lifting my dull spirits and making me feel happy for the first time in weeks. With Maddison in a coma, it had been rather hard to focus on anything else so this extremely cheery atmosphere was a welcomed distraction.

However, my welcomed peace couldn't last long. The irritating shrill of Moira Ross's laugh grated my eardrums as she approached me, shattering my bubble of calm. "Harper what are you doing? Keep the makeup on. I don't think I can stand seeing the sight of your ugly face," she jeered, smirking cruelly at me.

I simply shut my eyes, breathing in deeply as I counted to ten in my head.

Breathe, Harper. Don't lash out. That was what she wanted. Just breathe.

Fluttering my eyes open, I flashed Moira the fakest smile I could muster. "Then move along, darling. I already had to shut my eyes to not vomit by just glancing the atrocity that is you, even with makeup on."

Of course, that was a lie. Moira was one of the most stunning girls I knew with silky long golden hair and vivid green eyes along with a completion clearer than day but her personality tore that beautiful image in two. It was like spilling corrosive acid onto satin, all the beauty vanishing with the mere flick of a wrist.

All the makeup on the planet couldn't hide that monster.

She scowled at me, her forest eyes narrowing into narrow slits. "Watch your mouth, King. Better yet, watch out full stop."

"Is that a threat?" I challenged with a raised brow.

"No," she quipped, feigning innocence unsuccessfully. "It's advice. Just stay out of my way."

"Wasn't planning on getting within ten feet of you. Don't want the sewage smell seeping into my clothes."

She let a small grunt of shock, before trying to subtly smell herself. "Just fuck off, Harper," she snapped storming away, her gorgeous pink gown embroidered with gold detailing (one of Amelie's designs) swishing with her as she did.

"Oh and, Harper," she called as she was by the door, almost out of earshot. "Here's some more advice, from one model to another. Watch the carbs; it's pretty obvious that you had a lot of trouble getting into that corset."

My cheeks turned scarlet and she smirked evilly, enjoying my hurt reaction before she slammed the door closed behind her.

Of course I had to give her a stupid reaction. Now she was just going to attack me more. You're such an idiot, Harper. I berated myself as I took off the rest of my makeup, doing my best not to let Moira's words affect me.

I wasn't fat, I repeated to myself as I looked in the mirror.

I poked my cheeks and pinched my arms. See, I wasn't fat.

Although I knew it was true, doubt was starting to creeping into my mind as I recalled all the times I'd felt worthless in my life and all the times I'd doubted myself and my looks.

I tried to shake the thoughts away, reminding myself that I was fine just the way I was.

I wasn't ugly.

I wasn't fat.

Was I?

~*~*~

Later that evening, I was in the airport, waiting for my flight to board to go back home. I had gotten there early because I didn't have much else to do that night, not when I felt so down in the dumps thanks to Moira's words.

I had let her words get to me and now they were starting to chip away at my tough exterior. Her words were like a sharp knife being stabbed into my chest, sudden and beyond painful. It was that fact that she used to one of my closest friends once upon a time that made the blow all the worse.

I didn't care much about the tabloids or the harsh words of haters that would always try to bring me down, finding flaws in absolutely everything I did. I could've singlehandedly rescued a child from a burning building and there'd still be people to pick faults with what I'd done.

But when the words came from someone who used to be so close to me they stung. I mean sure, she wasn't saying I was an awful person but she was criticising my looks. That sounded shallow of me to care about — even in my own head — but for a model, those things mattered. Further than that, they mattered for my own self-confidence.

I knew what she was saying was false but the words still stung. If she thought that then maybe other people did too and before I knew it I'd no longer have my career to keep me upright. It was the only distraction I had from the mess unfolding in my own life and, right now, I needed that more than ever.

Luckily, I was pulled from my self-destructive thoughts by my phone ringing; Axel was video calling me.

I answered the call, grinning as his face came into view on my phone screen. Over the past few months, we'd grown accustomed to calling each other every week or so to check in and see how things were going. It seemed that living in different continents had only made us more determined to stay in contact and not lose touch with one another.

It was like we both felt that pull towards each other as if we both had that same tether that seemed to keep our lives intertwined and I certainly wasn't going to complain about it.

"Hey, Freckles," he grinned, waving at me with that signature goofy grin on his face. He was still calling me by that ridiculous name and, despite my efforts, he wouldn't yield. It seemed I was stuck with it and, although I pretended to hate it, it made my heart flutter in a way I couldn't explain.

We talked of trivial things for the next half hour and the smile on my face didn't disappear for even a second the entire time. Something about Axel's grin was infectious and when I saw him smile it was next to impossible for me not to do the same.

He was complaining to me about one of the models he had recently worked with and how rude they were being to the entirety of the staff at the shoot. I let him rant, listening to his every word and throwing in my two cents wherever I had deemed fit. Sometimes it was nice to just have a person to listen to you and I knew Axel appreciated that I did that for him. It was honestly no bother for me, I rather enjoyed it actually. I could listen to him talk for hours if it helped ease his mind or calmed him down.

Just talking to him put my mind at ease and helped me forget about the whole Moira situation, not to even mention the entire problem currently happening with Maddie.

The fact that she still hadn't woken up was tearing me up inside and I was so close to my breaking point. I'd lost Belle; I'd lost Zack; I couldn't lose her as well. My heart wouldn't be able to cope.

It was true when I said to Axel that those closest to me always got hurt but I was trying to believe that that wasn't true. Maybe this was all some weird coincidence or a sick joke. I prayed that was the case, not just for my own well being but for those closest to me. For my family. For my friends. For Axel.

Axel must've noticed that my mood had dulled because his expression morphed to thoughtful as he looked at me. "Something on your mind?" he asked but it was more of a statement than a question. That boy had come to understand me so well. It was as if he could read me like an open book. I had always believed that I was rather good at hiding my emotions but when it came to Axel it was a different story; he could always see right through me. That was both frustrating yet flattering at the same time and I was never sure how to react to it.

I shrugged, sending him a soft smile. There was no point trying to hide what I was thinking from him because he'd find out eventually anyway. "It's just Maddie," I said. "I'm worried, Axel. It's been three weeks and she's still not up. Heck, it's Christmas in a few days — her favourite holiday — and she's going to miss it."

He ran his fingers through his inky locks and I could still make out a few of his tattoos despite the blurry screen thanks to the navy blue t-shit he was wearing. It really was a good colour on him.

He smiled sadly at me. "I know, Freckles, and I won't lie, it sucks. Nothing I say can change that but she's gonna wake up, don't worry. I know she will," he said with so much confidence.

"How can you be so sure?" There was a slight tremor in my voice that I wasn't able to conceal and I knew Axel had picked up on it by the slight prick of his ears.

"Because Maddie is a fighter. I haven't known her for too long but it's obvious. I know you've noticed that fire in her eyes too, so much determination and passion. She'd never give up."

I wanted to believe him, I really did but there was a sliver of doubt in my mind. Maddison had been through so much in her mere twenty-two years of existence and I wasn't sure that she wanted to hold on. I hoped that the knowledge that the rest of us would beat the hell out of her if she left us was enough to keep her going because otherwise, I didn't think she'd want to make it.

Of course, I didn't share that knowledge with Axel; it wasn't mine to tell. Instead, I looked at him with hesitancy in my eyes. "I don't know, Axel..."

"You do know," he cut me off, such passion in his voice. "Maddie isn't going to leave us. We have to have faith in her to give her the strength to carry on fighting."

He was right. If I didn't have faith in Maddison, how was she supposed to make it through this? I had to believe in her so she could believe in herself. I knew if I were her, I'd want my friends cheering me on and supporting me every step of the way.

I had to think positive.

Just like that, I was smiling again, filled with newfound hope. "How do you do it?" I asked, my voice shocked.

Axel frowned slightly, a slight crease between his brows. "What do you mean?"

"How do you always know what to say to lift me back up?"

He grinned bashfully, his ears looking slightly pink, though that could've just been the colouring on the screen acting up.  "I don't know really. Instinct, I guess? The words just come out when I'm around you."

I couldn't help the smile on my face. "You know, I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes, Axel."

"Trust me, the feeling is mutual. You're actually pretty great, Freckles, even if you can be crazy sometimes." He muttered the last part jokingly and I scoffed.

"Oh please, you love that about me."

"Wouldn't change it for the world."

Just then, the speakers in the airport blared. My flight was boarding. I bid Axel farewell and put my phone in aeroplane mode as I got onto the plane, finding my seat and getting ready for the flight ahead.

I felt slightly more relaxed than before as we took off, my conversation with Axel brightening my spirits. He always seemed to manage that somehow but I wasn't complaining. That boy was something else entirely but in the best way imaginable.

It wasn't long before I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep, my mind focused on nothing in particular. I couldn't help but let it drift back to Maddison every so often but Axel was right; I had to believe in her because she would make it through this. She was brave and she was a fighter.

~*~*~

When I finally landed back in New York and had grabbed my luggage, heading over to where Diana had parked my car, my phone buzzed, lighting up with a message from Winter.

My eyes almost popped out of my sockets as I read over the message almost a thousand times in the space of a second.

I sprinted to my car, shoving my luggage in the boot as fast as possible, not even giving Diana the chance to get out of the car. "D," I said urgently. "Take me to the hospital, please."

She nodded, not saying a word as we drove away from the airport and towards the hospital.

I hugged my phone to my chest, unable to keep the smile of relief off of my face.

Maddie was awake.

~*~*~

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