~Chapter 23~

That was it. Axel knew the real me. Not the perfect media representation that was Harper Anastasia King. He knew Harper, just Harper. The broken girl, haunted by her past, forever trying to run and hide behind her beautifully crafted facade.

There were no filters to hide behind. No professional editors to smoothen the picture out and no makeup artists to cover up any blemishes. I'd exposed the darkest truths about myself and there was no turning back.

Now I could only hope that he'd see past it all and still care for me despite everything. I didn't know what I'd do otherwise. Over these past months, I'd become rather fond of Axel and the thought of him vanishing made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't have another friend leave me.

My apartment was silent for a long time before Axel finally spoke, lifting the tension slightly. "Harper," he said softly. "Harper, please look at me."

I couldn't ignore his request when his voice was so smooth and gentle, warming me up and compelling me to look at him — it wasn't exactly a bad view. Hesitantly, I moved my eyes from my fidgety fingers to glance at Axel through my lashes.

He ran his fingers through his already messy hair, looking at me with that stupidly perfect gaze of his. "Harper, it wasn't your fault."

I scoffed. Of course it was. "Axel, you know that's not true. You don't have to try and make me feel better about it. It's already happened and nothing you say can change that," I said, probably a bit too harshly.

He looked slightly taken aback by my tone but was quick to cover it. "You couldn't have known that would happen."

"Yes but that doesn't matter. Regardless of my intentions, she still... she still died," I choked out.

That was why I had been extra nice to that girl at the cinema, Bella. She reminded me so much of Belle; hell, even their names were similar. Both with those forest-green eyes and wavy brown hair. Not to mention that their energies were almost identical, both being so happy and excitable.

When I saw her it was almost like a slap in the face from the universe, a stark reminder of what I had done. So, instinctively, I felt the need to be even kinder to her. I needed to make up for what I had done.

I knew that was stupid because they weren't even the same person but my heart couldn't help it. It was as close to my best friend as I could get and I'd be damned if I let her down too.

Axel stood up, brushing his trousers off before walking over to sit next to me, a look on his face I couldn't describe but I could still feel the passion in him and a fierce determination I hadn't observed from anyone in a long time.

"That isn't true," he insisted passionately. "If you want me to be brutally honest with you, Harper, I think you're scared. Scared to move on and accept that circumstance was beyond your control. If you let this go, leave your past behind, you don't know what you'll be anymore. You've let your past define you and don't know how to be yourself without it."

I tried to defend myself and say he was wrong but Axel wasn't finished.

"I'm sure you know that I tend to overanalyse everything – perks of being an overthinker, I suppose – but I think I might be half right here. Look, I know I'm not a therapist and you don't want to hear shit from me about dealing with your problems; it's not really my place to say but I'm telling you anyway because I care. If you're not going to listen to me – which is completely fair; I'm no expert – I think you should go see someone who can help you, Freckles.

"Talking to a professional might be good for you. Keeping something bottled up for so long isn't healthy and can drive you mad. Trust me, I've been through it myself and it was Zack who convinced me to do the same. He sat me down like the great best friend he was and had this intense and personal conversation with me after I had this breakdown about my dad a few years ago.

"He was always there for me no matter what and if it wasn't for him I think my life would've taken a bleak turn. I don't want that for you, Freckles. I care way too much about you for that," he confessed and I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

Axel cared for me a great deal, I knew that already but every time I thought I had him figured out he'd show me a new layer, expose himself to me, and bring us even closer.

Coming from him, those words meant a great deal. It wasn't often in my life that people were so straightforward and honest with me and I appreciated it more than words could say. In my line of work, people tended to tiptoe around you and do whatever it took to stay on your good side but Axel didn't care for that.

He didn't treat me as someone to use for his benefit. He treated me like someone he cared about and worried for deeply, enough to potentially put their friendship on the line by being so brutally honest. He didn't know how I'd react to his invasive request yet he did it anyway because he cared and the thought warmed me on the inside.

Although the idea of therapy was something I had avoided my whole life, Axel might have been right. Maybe if I talked through everything with a professional, things would turn around. But the idea scared me. Letting Axel in was one thing but a total stranger was something else entirely.

What if they spilt my life story to the media or started leaking my personal information for fame or money? I wasn't a very trusting person — I'd learnt that lesson the hard way over the course of my life — so could I physically get myself to tell someone else everything?

Endless thoughts whizzed through my mind, all with different potential outcomes but the feeling of Axel grabbing my hand pulled me back to reality. His touch was electrifying, sending jolts through every fibre of my being. "I— I'll think about it," I said softly and he smiled so brightly at me that my heart skipped a beat.

"That's all I ask."

His consistent honey brown eyes were looking at me with such warmth and affection that I almost melted on the spot. How could one person be so perfect?

Reminders of the feelings I had for Axel flashed through my mind and my eyes glanced to my phone which was sitting contently on the coffee table.

Before everything with Zack, I was about to call Axel and confess my feelings for him. I was so close to taking that dive and finally putting myself back out there.

Being so close to him now only intensified my feelings, making me want to finally take the leap of faith my heart was so desperately yearning for.

Axel was the type of guy who was so easy to fall for and that terrified me. In the almost six months I'd known him, my whole life had flipped and warped yet he'd stayed consistent. He was there, struggling through the entire mess with me, making sure I wasn't alone in all of this.

Something about him was simply compelling. He was so caring, so compassionate and so kind that it blew me away. There wasn't a bad bone in his body and that was the best contrast from River — he was enough bad boy to last for a lifetime.

I understood that pull though, that felling people got from them. I fell for a bad boy in the form of River and at the time it was utterly exhilarating. He made me feel free and alive in the best way possible yet Axel did the exact same thing in a completely different way.

He, like River, had that classic dangerous, misunderstood, brooding bad boy look yet their personalities couldn't have been more different. Where River was reckless and rash, Axel was thoughtful and considerate. Where River would throw caution to the wind, Axel would think through his actions step by step. And where River would ignore consequences, Axel would focus on them.

The two couldn't have been more opposite if they tried and that was so refreshing to me.

With Axel, I didn't have to worry about my past and all the bad things I'd done. He accepted me for me. He hadn't gone running and that alone made me so warm inside in a way I just couldn't describe.

My heart was thumping and my chest was pounding as I just looked at him. I wanted to be closer, closer with him in every sense of the word. I cared about Axel Knight so much that it physically hurt.

I had this knot in my stomach whenever he was sad and felt light and airy whenever he smiled. Our emotions almost always mirrored each other's so much so it was almost freaky yet it was so amazing at the same time.

I'd known for a while how I'd felt but sitting with him here in my apartment, staring at his determined expression as he stayed by my side despite everything I'd told him, even offering words of encouragement, put it all into perspective. Axel was that guy. That once in a lifetime person that you couldn't let slip through your fingers or you'd regret it for the rest of your life. So I had to take the chance; I just had to, before it was too late.

Surprised by my bold thoughts, I gulped inwardly but didn't show it.

I could do this.

Hesitantly, I started to lean in, bringing our faces that little bit closer together.

I got flashes to Paris and how we'd almost kissed then.

So close yet so far.

I closed my eyes, not ready to see his reaction as I shifted forward, the distance between us non-existent as I leant in further, ready to close the gap.

I could have imagined it but I almost swore that I felt him leaning in too, his fingers brushing against my thigh but, just before our lips could finally touch, my phone blared loudly from the coffee table, vibrating the glass in a way which made a horrible noise and the trance was broken.

I jumped away from Axel so fast as if he'd burnt me and reached for my phone, my wave of confidence diminishing instantly.

I didn't look at him as I answered the call, my cheeks hot.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

I would've been more disappointed in myself for the quick escape but I didn't get the chance, not when I heard the news the person on the other end of my phone spoke. "Hello? Harper? Harper, is that you?" Winter asked, panicking.

My heart raced at her tone. What had happened? Was she okay?

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked, my voice shaking.

This call felt all too familiar in a way I didn't like one bit.

"You've got to get to the hospital right now. It's Maddie... she's... she's in a coma."

~*~*~

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