Life went on as her mother ordered, like a blanket of placid normalcy, covering the gaping holes underneath it. Three weeks passed as Izzy struggled to get back to her old routine.

Her life became a constant game of pretend—full of fixed smiles, forced excitement, and hollow laughter. It was as if she were a ventriloquist, living inside the doll that she controlled.

Desperate to keep her mind occupied and herself out of the house, she took a job as a waitress at a local diner and worked as many hours as they would give her.

Mrs. Hawthorne, the burly, big chested woman who ran the kitchen, possessed a grating voice that reminded Izzy of Sister Mary Thomas. The conjuring of the nun in her mind should have been terrifying, but it made Izzy feel that she was still alive somewhere underneath the fake facade she'd built since her return.

Most of the diner's customers were old widowed men, hankering for a home cooked meal and an ear to listen. They preferred to talk rather than ask questions, which suited Izzy.

She was standing at the serving counter when Janet O'Brien waltzed through the door. Her old friend shook the snow from her wool coat, her eyes curving to crescents when they met Izzy's.

The past few months had been good to her. She'd gained weight in all of the right places, giving her a mature, hourglass shape that turned the heads of even the oldest widowers seated at the tables. Her dress was more sophisticated as well, clinging tightly to her, and accenting her long legs. She was no longer the school girl Izzy remembered.

"Izzy! There you are! Someone said I would find you here. I haven't seen you in ages," Janet said, clapping her hands together. "I heard you were sick, but then I heard you went off to college. Where did you go?"

Izzy froze momentarily at the pick up counter, desperately pulling her thoughts together. "I was sick," she said, doing her best to blow it off as a thing of the past. "I went to stay with my Aunt in the country for awhile to get some fresh air."

Janet looked her over, her hand on her hip. "You do look rather skinny," she said. "I'm glad you're back—and that you're feeling better. Gosh, so much has happened since we graduated." She lifted her hand, turning it to show off the small diamond ring on her finger. "I'm engaged," she squealed. "Can you believe it?"

"To who?" asked Izzy. "Jack?" She remembered Janet had just started to date Jack that fateful night at the drive in when she'd told Donny about the baby.

"No—heavens no—not Jack," laughed Janet. "His name is Fred. I met him at community college. He's studying to be an engineer."

"That's wonderful!" said Izzy.

The cook set two steaming plates of meatloaf and mashed potatoes on the counter. "Sorry, I have to serve these," Izzy said.

"Of course," said Janet. "When are you finished? Maybe we could get together?"

"That'd be lovely," said Izzy. "I'm done at seven. I should be home at quarter after."

She bit her lip as she turned away. The bell jingled behind her as Janet walked out of the door.

Engaged. How perfectly wonderful. Life for Janet was just as expected. Her parents must be proud.

A sudden wave of anger raked through her, catching her off guard. She immediately felt ashamed and disgusted with herself. When had she become so spiteful?

Most girls her age were like Janet—engaged and settling down into their lives as a wives and mothers. It didn't come as a surprise.

But, for Izzy, looking for a husband was the furthest thing from her mind—not to mention getting pregnant and starting a family. The thought made her shudder.

When the clock hit seven, Izzy wiped down the tables, wondering why she'd agreed to go out with Janet. Perhaps it was because her parents had been hinting at her lack of a social life since she'd returned. Anything she could do to resemble her old life would make them happy. It couldn't hurt to talk to an old friend.

Her father picked her up from the diner and they rode in silence. Outside, the streets were dark and abandoned. The bitter cold kept people inside. A few stray snowflakes settled on the windshield and melted. The little trails of water they left twinkled as they rolled down the glass, only to be swept away by the wipers.

"Janet came by the diner today," Izzy said. "She invited me to go out with her this evening."

She was hoping her father would say no. But instead he smiled, patting her leg. "That's great, Izzy. Some time with your friends will be good thing for you."

Once home, she scrambled into a loose fitting baby blue dress. She'd lost so much weight, none of her clothes fit anymore. She needed to take them in on the waist at least, although there was something comforting about the baginess. It helped prevent her from the advances of potential suitors, which were annoyances she wished to avoid.

Maria tapped on the door and peeked her head inside. "Are you going on a date?" she asked, eying the dress.

"No," said Izzy with a laugh. "I'm just going out with Janet."

The doorbell chimed and Izzy patted Maria on the head. "See you later, alligator," she said as she headed down the stairs.

Janet stood on the porch, shivering. She was draped in a long, fashionable wool coat, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold.

"You ready?" She gave Izzy a once over. "Fred and his buddy Lou are going to meet us at my house in a few minutes."

Izzy stiffened, her hand on the door handle as she pulled it shut. "This isn't a double date, is it? Oh Janet, I'm not in the mood—."

"Relax Izzy! There's no pressure. Lou hangs out with us all of the time. He's one of Fred's best friends. He was coming either way."

"Alright," said Izzy reluctantly. She pulled her wool coat tight to her and buried her chin under the collar as they stepped outside.

"What ever happened to you and Donny anyway? I thought for sure the two of you would be engaged by the end of the summer,"Janet asked as they picked their way across the sidewalk, powdered with a fresh layer of snow.

Izzy's heart stuttered for a second. "Have you seen him since I've been gone?"

Janet eyed her, frowning. "I've seen him around—now and then. He's going to college somewhere out of town, I think."

Izzy stared ahead at the street lamp. The snowflakes shimmered in the light as they fell. "I don't really know what happened," she said. "I guess he just wasn't as serious as I was."

"Well, he sure seemed to be," said Janet. They stopped at the crosswalk, warming their hands as they waited for the cars to pass. "Could have fooled me."

"Me too," said Izzy, her voice muffled in her coat.

They crossed the street in silence. Janet changed the subject. "When Fred and I first met, I had just broken up with Jack," she said. "I guess I was feeling like you are now. I didn't want anything to do with the opposite sex. He tried and tried to talk to me, but I brushed him off. Boy, was he persistent. One day I was walking home from class and he drove up in his car. It had just started to rain and I'd forgotten my umbrella. I was afraid my hair would get flat, so naturally I had no choice but to get in when he offered me a ride," she smiled slyly, her eyelashes fluttering. "That's when I first realized he had the most beautiful baby blue eyes I'd ever seen. I guess I'd never really paid attention until then. I just kept on looking at him like an idiot, as he blabbered on about school and I thought, I could get used to those eyes on me every day."

Izzy smiled, remembering how Wes' eyes had captivated her on the beach.

"What's that smile about?" said Janet with a giggle.

Izzy hesitated, debating on how much to share. "There was one other boy after Donny. But it was just a summer fling—while I was recovering at my aunt's house," she said.

Janet grabbed her arm. "Ooh—now that sounds interesting—tell me about him."

"It was quite interesting how we met. I was swimming with a friend in the lake, and she swam out too deep," said Izzy. "I thought she was drowning, so I swam out to try to save her. Which was a bit idiotic considering I can barely swim myself. I got caught in the current and for a minute I thought I was going to drown. Then, out of nowhere, he came up behind me and pulled me to shore."

Janet clasped her hands to her mouth. "Oh! How romantic! Tell me more! What's his name?"

"Wes. He was tall and handsome, with the warmest eyes. When the sun caught them, they could hold a person in a trance," said Izzy despite herself. It felt good to have something to brag about. "And he could sing—like an angel. We only met a couple of times after that day on the beach. It never turned into anything serious. I needed to go back home and he and his band were on their way back to Los Angeles to become stars—." She stopped, realizing she'd gotten too carried away.

"Wait—," said Janet, her eyes searching Izzy's. "Wes, as in Wes and the Flames? You met Wes Rizzo?"

"I—uh—no," Izzy struggled, instantly regretting how much she'd shared.

"Izzy, you are quite possibly the luckiest girl in the world if you had a date with Wes Rizzo!" Janet squealed. "Do you realize how famous he is? Girls would die to be with him."

"Well, he wasn't famous when we met and it definitely wasn't a date," said Izzy.

A tall, thin man with short blond hair and blue eyes raced across the street towards them. He slipped on the snow, grabbing a hold of his hat as he struggled for balance.

"Sweetheart! You didn't have to walk in this! I could have picked you up!"

"Oh Fred, dear. It was only a couple of blocks. We're fine. This is Izzy, my very best friend from high school. After all these months I finally found her." Janet planted a kiss on his lips and he wrapped his arms around her.

Izzy stood awkwardly beside them, her gloved hands clasped together. Around her, the snow began to fall hard, darkening the streetlights above. Another man picked his way across the street in the sudden blizzard.

"Hi there Lou," said Janet, pulling herself from Fred's arms. "This is my friend, Izzy."

"Well, hello there Izzy," Lou said extending his arm in a greeting. He took his hat from his head and gave her an exaggerated bow. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Snow sprinkled his black coat. Like Fred, he was tall and blonde. But his chin was more chiseled and his eyes hazel with dark lashes to accent them.

"You too," Izzy said, shaking his hand. His eyes met hers and she stared down at her feet, her stomach turning slightly.

"Well, let's get inside before we all freeze to death," said Fred, breaking the awkward silence. He gestured to his car, parked in Janet's driveway, the doors hanging open.

The Regent Theatre was a tall Italian style stone building that not only hosted a theatre, but a ballroom and bowling alley as well. It was a popular hangout for teens and young adults. Izzy had been there several times with Janet and Donny in her former life. It felt strange to enter without him, beside a man she'd never met.

Even without looking, she could tell his eyes were on her. She gripped her purse tightly with gloved hands, wishing she'd thought of some excuse not to go.

"Izzy?" Janet broke her thoughts, a look of concern on her face. "Fred was asking if we wanted to dance or bowl tonight?"

"Bowl," said Izzy quickly. It was the obvious choice, requiring as little contact as possible.

Next to her, Lou chuckled, as if he'd read her mind. A scarlet flush crept onto her cheeks and she avoided his eyes, squirming under his steady stare.

We they entered the bowling alley and the men went to the counter to pay, Janet grabbed her arm and pulled her a few steps ahead. "Are you alright?" she whispered. "You're not acting like yourself at all. Are you still feeling sick? Or is it Lou?"

Faking a sudden illness was tempting, but Izzy didn't want to inconvenience Janet and ruin her evening.

She sighed, "I'm sorry—it's just a little hard to come here again—without Donny. It brings back a lot of memories." Part of that was true at least.

"Gosh Izzy," Janet said, studying her. "What did he do to you? You used to be so happy and—I don't know—alive. Was is that bad of a break up?"

Tears hit Izzy's eyes unexpectedly and she feared something bigger was threatening to break through underneath. "Excuse me for a minute," she breathed, taking off for the bathroom.

She could hear Janet's footsteps following behind her. Swinging open the door, she threw herself into a stall and locked it, grabbing her mouth with her hand to silence the wretched sobs that pushed their way up her throat. She was a basketcase. She shouldn't be out in public. Surely the two men outside were shaking their heads in disbelief over her dramatic spectacle.

Janet knocked on the stall door, "Izzy? Is there anything I can do?"

"I'll be out in a few minutes," Izzy said, working to steady her voice.

The bathroom door swung open and shut.

"Gee, your friend is a real drama queen," one of the men said in a voice just loud enough for her to hear behind the door as it swung on its hinges.

"Shush, she might hear you," scolded Janet. "She had a bad break up, that's all.Give her some space, she's a real nice girl."

Mortified, Izzy thought about slipping out of the door and running all the way back home. But it was cold and dark outside.

Realizing there was no other way around it but to confront it head on, she opened the stall door. She wiped the tears from her face with a handkerchief at the mirror, dabbing to avoid spreading her mascara.

The entire time she'd been in that stone prison she'd wished she were home, enjoying the life she used to take for granted. Now, she wasn't able to free her mind from the past long enough to enjoy anything at all. She needed to pull herself together right then and there or she would never be happy again.

Gathering all of her strength, she took a deep breath and headed back through the door. Janet and the two men watched her a little warily as she emerged.

"Sorry," she said, steadying her voice. Once again, she was a ventriloquist, behind the face of happy doll. "I'm not usually like this. I promise I won't be a party pooper for the rest of the evening."

Lou shrugged his shoulders, shaking it off. "Well, come on then, let's bowl!" 

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