Magnus had never seen Alec broke down like this. The moment they got home, Alec sat on the couch without saying any words or even move. He just sat there and stares at the wall before him. He worried inside Alec's mind, he's thinking on how to reprimand this matter.

"Alexander?" He called as he was sitting down next to him on the couch. Alec's face wet with tears that non stop flowing since he got home. His tip of the nose blotches like when he would get cold or flu. His hair is still covered in ashes here and there and his face is dirty from the dust and dirt.

He looked on his palm still having some of Max's blood in his palm and wrist. Whenever he looked down, his tears would fall as well.

"Babe, let's get you into the shower. We have to clean this." Magnus knew he could cleaned it by the snap of his fingers, but sometimes all Alec needed isn't magic, he needs healing. He need to let this pain overcome him and the sorrow of losing Max so he could accept what happened.

"Tell me how do I fix this Magnus." He whispered as he looked into Magnus eyes. Magnus couldn't bear his heart as he heard the word coming out from his mouth.

He couldn't say any words that would make him feel better. The only thing he could do is raised his arm and pulled Alec into his warm hugs. Alec leaned forward into his boyfriend's chest and sobs uncontrollably.

"The only thing we can do now Alexander is grief. You have to let this grief come in order for you to accept tomorrow and day after. Just know that you are stronger than anyone else I've known." Magnus hushed soft words into his ear as he hugs Alec.

He stroke the back of his head and his hand lowered to his shoulder and back. As his palm reaches Alec's back, he winced in pain.

"What is it? Let me see." He pushed him off his chest and tried to raise his shirt. Alec felt his chest is heavy and soon his breath becomes heavier almost as if someone is sitting on it.

As he struggles to take his shirt off, Magnus could see how Alec had gotten more and more breathless. Before he could even ask him further, Alec begins to cough violently.

He turned his body around not letting his cough got to Magnus thinking he might be coming down with something. But the more he coughs the more painful his chest is and it got more difficult for him to breathe.

"Alexander?" Magnus tries to help but he couldn't stop. Soon, his body fell on the floor by Magnus legs and Alec's had spurted a large amount of blood from his coughing fit. "Oh angels Alexander, what happened?" He caught him and let his body leaned back on Magnus chest as he suffers in his breath.

"P-Pain." He pointed at his own chest and Magnus pushed him on the ground and lifted his shirt off of him. He could see bruises form on his side of his chest and his centre. his usual pale skin had turned into a blue black pattern and he worries it might be an internal injury.

"What happened tonight?" He asked as Alec struggles to breathe. He tried to form words although it's difficult, he did tried his best.

"I caught M-Max from falling." Alec whispered, Magnus had to lean to hear him talks as he finds it difficult to form any sound except for heaving.

"How high?" Magnus questioned. Alec's eyes clenched in pain as his hands squeezed his chest in pain. "High." It was the only thing he muttered and it was enough for Magnus to know.

For someone to land from that height without any runes would made him just as same as mundane falling from height. He knew Alec must have injured himself from saving Max and the reason he didn't notice he was injured is because he is filled up on the adrenaline rush from the even after. Now when he is more calm and it was hours passed only he found out about the injury.

He placed his palm on Alec's chest and blue lights starts to appear from underneath his hand onto Alec's chest.

Magnus had his eyes closed as Alec felt warmth spreading on his body. Soon the warmth began spreading more and making him sleepy. The last thing he'd saw was Magnus trying to heal him and soon he welcome darkness into his vision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec was woke up to the sound of car honking that made him jolted from his unconsciousness. He looked around the room finding it empty. He looked outside the window and notice the sun is already shining so he bolted to wake up.

He doesn't know what time it is and he only knew one thing, he had to get to Max immediately.

As he struggles to put on his clothes, he winced in pain as his chest hurts. The event of last night crawled back into his mind. Magnus healed him, then he fell unconscious.

He put on his normal black clothes and his normal black pants without his gear before he noticed his white suit by the end of the room. His eyes fixed on the suit and wonders how it got there. But it wasn't the thought of someone prepares the suit that got him thinking, it was the reason for the suit itself.

Max's funeral. That was the thing that popped into his head and he had to sit back on the bed holding his head in his palm. "I'm so sorry Max." He whispered and tears falling as he said those words.

Just in time, Magnus walks in with a tray of food and drinks for Alec. He only has his robe and his brief on but he still looks handsome as ever. His hair spiked up like the usual but he didn't have his make up on. Alec used to see him bare and vulnerable like this and he is comfortable with it.

"Darling, you're up. I brought breakfast." He said and put down the tray on the coffee table. As soon as he did, he saw the suit by the corner and looked back at Alec.

"Jace dropped it off earlier. Thought you might want it. I must say I can provide you something new, the old one is poorly tailored." He said as he eyed the suit and noticed how Alec didn't respond.

"Alexander?" He called as he walked to him and crouched in front of him. "Babe." He called as he raised his chin up, holding his face in his hand, he stares at the eyes of the man he loves. He was hurt, his eyes says it all, Magnus couldn't bear his heart to say anything cause he knew how he must have been feeling if he also lost his brother, if he had any.

"One day at a time. Okay?" He whispered and Alec couldn't reply but instead he wrapped his arm around Magnus and hugged him tightly to soothe his feeling.

"Come on, lets eat something before we go." Magnus tries to pull Alec to the coffee table but Alec pulled back his hand away.

"I can't go." Alec retorted and hugs his body instead. "Alexander, if you don't you'll regret it and I had to see you breakdown again." Magnus stated and in truth, he was right.

Alec would never forgive himself if it was the last thing he did. But unable to see his brother again was the only thing hurts him the most. He won't be able to hug him, tell him how to say proper words when he is learning, teach him how to fight or learning runes.

Max loves being a shadowhunter and he shouldn't be the one who fall for this. Alec blames himself entirely and he couldn't stop doing it either.

Eventually he gave in, he took a piece of toast with coffee just to make sure he didn't passed out during the ceremony.

He put on his suit and Magnus followed after. He knew now the meaning of poor tailoring once he saw Magnus in one if his white suit. He never sees Magnus in this color for as long as he knows him.

It made his Asian skin more popped with his biceps fitting nicely in his shirt. He eyed the way Magnus thigh fits in the white pants and when he bend his legs, the fabric pulls but not stretch enough to see his skin underneath.

His long fingers struggling with the cufflinks as it was still new and the button holes isn't stretching enough for the cufflinks.

Alec walks over to him and helped him with the cufflinks, he noticed it wasn't the usual one he wears, it was new just like his suits. "Thank you." Magnus whispered as Alec helped him and their faces merely inches with each other.

The cufflinks he had on was pure black like Alec's hair and middle of it was the Bane family symbol. Knowing Magnus, the black is diamond black as it was shining in lights and the writing is purely silver. It was unique and one of the kind because it was custom made. Alec eyed the piece in his hand and he didn't notice he was staring at it for quite sometime. The reason was because he had one like that only in Lightwood initials.

He knew it won't be able to see it anymore, he knew he didn't deserve to wear it after what he did.

"It was my fathers. Thought it was nice. I can wear something else if you want." He asked and Alec looked up to his face, "No. Wear it. It was beautiful." He said. Magnus stroked his cheek softly and Alec had to lean in his touch. "I love you." He whispered and Alec nodded. "I love you. Thank you for everything." He replied and Magnus nodded.

As Magnus portaled inside the institute and Alec followed him in fear all over his mind. Fear of seeing anyone's face blaming him for what happened. As he was walking in the hallway, he couldn't help remembering every single detail of his brother in every corner of the institute.

When he passed by the training room, where he had Max in his arm, he probably around two years old at that time. Alec showed him each and every weapon he has in weapon room. The archive room, even the place where he and Jace play.

He remember finding Max behind the curtain reading and learning about runes just so he won't have to attend other classes. Mum was looking for him all over when he did that, the only person who knows where to find Max was him and only him.

He didn't realized his eyes was tearing again when he felt someone holding his arm. He looked to his side, none other than his own sister. She was holding back her tears but when she saw Alec, she couldn't hide it anymore. So Alec raised his arm and hugged her close to his chest. Jace joined in later on his other side as they stares at the training room.

All of them walked into the ballroom where they gathered for events and sometimes functions like this - funeral. The last time he was here was when Clary's mum passed. He didn't felt better either knowing both of the death is his fault.

As they walked in the door opened wide revealing the interior design almost as a cathedral. The white lights and the benches are drapes with white cloth in presence of pureness and holy spirits.

Right at the centre of the altar where he could see a white marble table fit for an adult lay a body that only covers quarter of it's size. On top of the body has a white drape covering it and a single candle by the head. Behind it stood a Silent Brother holding a gold candelabra that hold three candles.

He stops when he spot his mother at the end of the altar crying as his father besides her trying to coax her. He couldn't take any step further after he saw her. He couldn't face her not after what he did.

"Come on." Jace pulls him but he couldn't find the courage to do so. He leaned to the side of the bench and holds the wooden seat hard till they could see his knuckles white. "Here, let's sits here." Magnus let Alec walked inside and sat on the bench.

"But it's too far, he should be sitting in front with us." Isabelle stated but Magnus already had his murderous look at all of them. "Here is fine. You guys go ahead." His words seethe through his teeth as he clenches his jaw. If only they could see what he sees, Alec is struggling emotionally and he scares that he would break.

He held Alec's hand throughout the entire ceremony with Maryse not knowing Alec stood far behind her. At the end of the funeral, Brother Enoch called Maryse to the altar to say her final goodbye before they called upon his soul to the heaven.

When they do that, a light from the stele with touch upon the body and a strain of illumination will follows and raise above before it disappear into the air like dust in the wind, the candle by the head will flickered off and shows the body is no longer with soul.

As Maryse walked up to the altar in her white gown, she breaks next to Max and cried instantly. She kissed Max on his forehead before she whispers she loves him eternally.

She turned to sit on the her seating but before she did, she spotted Alec by the end of the hall. Her eyes seemingly angry and Alec couldn't tear their gaze away. Their eyes locked with each other and Alec felt numb all over his body.

"YOU! What the hell are you doing here?! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!" She screamed and everyone turned to look at whom she just talked to. When they noticed it was Alec, the rest of the Lightwood raise from their seat trying to calm their mother down.

Alec walked out passing Magnus and headed towards them but before he could even say anything, a slapped was hit across his cheek. He felt the sting was unusual and held his cheek with his forefinger and noticed the blood that run through his skin.

He eyed his mother's hand and notice she has those praying beads on her palm that may have cause his cuts but he didn't say anything.

"I told you this is all your fault! What makes you think you can just waltz in here and act like you are innocent?" Maryse began and couldn't held his tears no more.

"Mum, just let me see Max one last time." He begs and this time Magnus is ready to bring him home concerning how badly this would turn.

"NO!" Maryse pushed him by his chest and he stumbled backwards. If it wasn't for Magnus he would have stumbled and fall backwards.

"You don't get to see him! You don't get to touch him and don't even think you can stepped a foot in this place anymore, you are BANISHED!" Maryse stated, all of her anger and her despair were getting on to her. She had to let it all out to none other but her usual son.

"MUM!" Isabelle called as she feel the punishment of Max's death was already enough for Alec, but banishment? It was the worst. She knew how much Alec loves his family, his home and his job.

"Don't get involved in this or all of you will suffer the consequences. You think this punishment is enough? You guys are banned from doing mission for a month!" She screamed and this time Alec had enough.

"Please, punished me all you want but don't blame them for this. Mum please." Maryse pushed Alec from touching her hand and disgust were clearly seen on her face. "Don't call me mum! EVER. You are no longer my son. My son is dead."

The word hits Alec like a crack in the wall, a thunder in the sky. He couldn't believe his mother finally saying those words that he feared as long as he lives. "Mum, no." he begs but all Maryse did was pushed him further and called on the guards.

"GUARDS! Take this person away!" She screamed at the entrance, rambles and clatters began to hear. All of them disagree for what she did. Robert tries to stop her for doing things out of spite and Jace and Isabelle disagree in more definitive way. They argued.

Alec fell on her legs as he held on her ankles for his life. "Mum please, just let me say goodbye to Max." He pleaded and Magnus couldn't take it when none of them acted like Alec is a person but rather a scrap.

Magnus had gotten so angry he clap his hand together and a loud boom sound appeared causing them to stop fighting and burst of wave exploded in the middle of the hall. Half of the people attending the ceremony had gone since the starts of the fight and with that last gesture, everyone left leaving the Lightwood all by themselves to settle their personal issue. 

"EVERYONE! ENOUGH!" He screamed and all of them had stunt silence. He stares at Maryse eyes long enough before he pulls Alec from her feet. "Come on love, let's go home."

Alec fought his way towards the end and he begs, just one last time, that he could see Max and say his goodbye. Maryse still refused but Robert held her strong to let her fought Alec and let him have his peace. "For angel sake Maryse! Stop this nonsense and let him have his farewell." Robert angrily said to her and she huffed in replied. 

Alec walked over to the altar and kneeled next to Max's body. He whispered something in his ear earning Brother Enoch an unpleasant look. They couldn't hear what he said that made Brother Enoch uncomfortable but again Silent Brother is not a pleasant people.

"Young Lightwood, that is against the law of nature." Brother Enoch's voice echoed in their presence almost as if he was speaking inside their mind. "Watch me." Alec said as he return his gaze back to Max. 

Alec gave one last kiss to his brother and stepped back. He eyed his mother that gave him a murderous look before he spoke to her.

"There's nothing in this world would make you happy about me. Not even when Max is alive. I was never enough to make you proud for calling me son. Not once you ever said that."

"I was struggling to find love in this world by pleasing you all I can and little do I know, I had all the love I need. A siblings that love me to death they fight for my rights, and a man that love me eternally he would do everything in his power to make me happy. But not you. You live your life in hatred over your marriage and your job so you let it all out to me. Thinking one day I would want to be like you."

"You know what mum, I don't want to be like you. But I owe it to you for the man I am today." Alec's words breaks at the end finding courage to finish it.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to Max, I'm sorry that he died. I'm sorry that I couldn't save him. But mum if that is the only thing that makes you happy then fine, I will do everything in my power to search till the end of earth through another dimension to find a way to bring him back. That is my promise."

"Alexander!" Magnus scolded after he heard the falls promises. He knew exactly what Alec meant, he knew Alec was going to look for the witch to bring Max back.

"There is nothing could bring my son back. I don't want to see you anymore. Now LEAVE." Maryse chased him out by the help of the guard and Alec didn't exactly fought his way out.

He took one last look at his mother and his siblings before Magnus opened up a portal and he disappeared into it.