Jason

I jerked awake, gasping for air. Sitting straight up, I took a moment to soak in my surroundings. The moonlight dripped in making the air around me feel heavy. I glanced around. Guns, bed, books, computer, kitchen...I'm safe.

I physically shook my head in an attempt to banish the nightmares that plagued my damaged mind. There was rarely a time I didn't have nightmares, especially now. Almost every night, I dreamt of the darkest things.

My body forced me out of bed. I strolled over to the window. Pushing it open, I sat on the windowsill with my feet dangling out. I ran my hand down my bare chest, feeling every scar. The warm Italian breeze swirled around me. The saltiness of the ocean and sweetness of the vineyard below comforted me. I was trying to desperately escape my own thoughts.

Buzz.

I flinched toward the source of the noise. Smoothly, I reached and grabbed my phone. I knew who it was before I even turned on the screen. There was only one person who I frequently gave my burner numbers to. Athena.

The message was simple: We need to talk.

I found myself grinning and frowning at those four little words. Athena was constantly keeping up with me when she could. I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't like the attention. 

It was simple. Things between Athena and I had ended nicely. We had no bad blood. But at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to talk to her. Reaching out was hard for her, I knew that. Athena and I were almost the same person. I knew how hard it could be to go to people. Especially when said person continues to ignore you. 

The truth was I didn't know what to say to her. What could I say? I agreed with our breakup; it came at a time when neither of us were focused on the relationship anymore. I had let my anger and insecurities consume me -- I still was letting them. She needed someone to help her through all the trauma she experienced. 

That's where Dick came in.

Dick was like my older brother. And even I had to admit that I cared deeply for the bastard. But, when started to get older, our relationship turned sour. I became obsessed with being his opposite because...because I was jealous of him. Even when the whole fiasco a couple of months ago happened, I was still allowing that jealousy to cloud my judgement. 

I knew Dick was better for Athena. I knew he could be what she wanted and what she needed. But, I had to admit, there would always be a part of me that hated him for that. I would never stop caring about Athena. I could stop loving her, I was trying to, but that feeling...it would never go away. 

Athena had been the first person to truly care for me since I died. She had been there for me when everyone else refused. And even though, at the time, I might have resented her for not supporting my decision to kill the Joker, I still thought of her as my equal. When you meet someone who is like you in almost every aspect of your life, you can't just let them go.

So why was I ignoring her?

Why was I trying to push her out of my life and out of my mind?

The truth was I didn't want to face her. I didn't want to acknowledge what happened between us. I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I had disappointed the one person who believed in me. 

I flipped my phone over and over in my hand. I imagined that my phone was my internal feelings. Juggling it back and forth, I weighed my options. If I texted her back, what would she say? Would she ask me about what happened? Would she ask about my life? Would she realize how empty I've been since I left Gotham?

Or maybe, and most likely, she'd call me up just to talk. Like we used to. I remembered we would take about everything and nothing for hours. We just liked to hear each other's voices. Maybe I'd call, she'd answer right away, and we would discuss foreign politics. Or football. Or all the cute dogs we had seen that day.

She'd tell me about how she recently moved into an apartment with Dick. She'd tell me that she's considering getting a cat and naming it Jay -- not for me, though, for Jay Gatsby, of course. 

I'd tell her that I recently got a haircut. She'd say she hated it. I'd tell her that I planned on going to a famous landmark. I'd tell her I want her to go with me. She'd laugh, blush, and say no. I'd pretend I was joking all along.

I turned off my phone.

Standing up, I escaped my little room. I tried not to wake the Italian family that so graciously let me stay with them. My feet led me around the slice of land. 

It was dawn. The light was indigo blue, light enough to see where you were going but not enough to see who was following you.

When a stick snapped, I turned around with a gun raised. The little assassin raised his little hands in the air. 

"Ai! Jason! Is me!" The kid squealed. I rolled my eyes and put my finger to my lips, shushing him. He nodded his little blond head. I nodded my head ahead of me, signaling my permission. With a bright smile, he jogged to catch up to me. "Where ya goin, Jason?" His accent was thick, his English clipped.

I ran my fingers across the shaved parts of my head. "Andrea, go home," I said. 

"Borrrrring!" He dragged out, imitating the high schoolers in the cheesy American movies he watched. "Bro time?"

"Alright," I chuckled, looking down at him from the corner of my eye. His olive skinned contrasted against his bright blond hair. He bounced along beside me. The little nine year old had been obsessed with me since he accidentally found one of pistols. 

We walked for awhile, enjoying the cool weather and the Italian countryside. He asked me questions, sometimes in English sometimes in Italian, about anything and everything. He romanticized American war patriots. He even convinced himself that I was one. I didn't have the heart to tell him that not only was I not a patriot, I wasn't the hero he made me out to be either. 

I didn't mind children, which was shocking. Unlike Athena, I wasn't completely against the idea of a family. I was a realist though. I knew that my lifestyle and personality would never allow for children. 

But that's why I let Andrea tag along. That's why I answered his questions and asked some of my own. I enjoyed times like that: little glimpses of what my life could be like. I could walk alongside a young boy and bestow all the things I had learned. I could laugh at his attempts at comedy and I could rub his head when I was teasing him. I could live in a place like that -- a nice homey house, complete with natural serenity and a sense of safeness. I could almost forget about my real life. Almost.

When the sun had risen and the heat was starting to arise, Andrea and I returned home. Home. He begged his mother to make more lemonade. "So Jason can try!" He shouted over and over to his Italian mother, who barely understood a word. I would politely reply in her native tongue. But off she went anyway to grab more lemons.

It was my last day in Italy. Despite the comfort places like Italy offered, I could never stay. My lifestyle demanded that I moved around frequently. I couldn't risk the lives of the nice Bianchi family. 

With one last glance at Athena's text and a two cups of lemonade, I grabbed my bag and went on my way into the unknown.

Hey guys. Sorry for the long delay! School has been stressing me out and I just generally have no time. I've been in a bit of a writing slump but I am honestly trying my best to get chapters up. And yes! I will finish Athena's story line in Horns & Talons, it's just going to take longer than I expected. And yes! I am still alive! Thank you guys for your patience <3 Love all of you!