There were key things to remember when dealing with goblins. And as the cage at its back, a structure of wood and twigs, held together with nothing but incantations, slid open, I reflected on that now.

Goblins were small, arguably the smallest of most creatures of magic. They were half the size of fairies and even the brownies, who did not have wings. As such, goblin babies were rather adorable, the adults, were not. Therefore, it was best to never refer to them in either a positive or a negative way in polite discourse.

Another issue was their appearance. Most goblins were purple, round, and had incredibly sharp teeth, a fact the princess discovered as this goblin now reached into the cage to pluck the last goblin baby which had attached itself to her shoulder and fed.

The princess sat with her back against the wood of the cage, staring at her feet, refusing to move or acknowledge anyone.

And that was probably for the third and final thing to understand about goblins—they were nosy.

Very. Very nosy.

"So you're losing your powers, huh? What'll happen, you reckon? Why you figure it happened? Huh? Magic, curse? Laziness? If a troll loses power, bits of him fall off. Reckon'll happen to you, too, miss? Bet you feel right stupid having fallen into a trap like this? I heard his voice saying not to go? You two fight? Reckon he figure you're right dumb now? Might he leave you here and never look back?

The goblin went so far as to prop an elbow against the cage, the other on a knee while peering in at the mortified princess who refused to acknowledge the barrage of questions.

"But you fell right into it. Even animals hesitate. You never did. Not even once. Figure that's got something to do with your weird clothes? What you hiding anyhow? Never seen a fairy with clothes. You missing a nipple or something? Oh. Oh. Bet you one's deformed. If you take off the clothing, will it fall right off? Reckon if it does, it'd fetch a good price with the elves. Go on then, let's see if it happens."

A part of me reveled in the admonishment somewhat—I had warned her.

But a bigger part was uncomfortable. Depending on how the princess responded, this could take forever.

"If it's all the same, omp, I'll have her back."

Two bright green eyes turned on me. A flick of the bottom tusks came with a sneer. "Reckon you could. But I got seventeen children to feed. Only ten got a good suck off her. Reckon I could trade for the remainder—"

"Reckon you couldn't," I was sure to interrupt. This one-tracked mindedness was nothing to toy with. "I'll of course pay you for her."

With this, the goblin perked up.

"A secret," I said, more than willing to trick whomever necessary. "I give you a secret and you let her go. How's that?"

Two thin lips pressed together then slid away to reveal the dripping tusks yet again. "Reckon that'll do as a right good payment—"

"Indeed."

"But not this time." The goblin, still resting against the cage, leaned forward and whispered, "A nipple's missing. I'm sure of it. Reckon I can take the other if they so easy to fall off."

My lips parted. All that could come from my mouth was, "I'm sure that's not the case—"

"Course it is. Things only hide when something's there to hide. Take humans, got ugly feet, so they wear shoes. Got mealy knees, wear slacks. Got ugly ears, wear hats."

I couldn't argue with that logic.

"But—"

The goblin wasn't done, "Ugly penis, wear underwear."

It was the affirmation in the last of those words that made me clear my throat. A hundred years ago, I would have threatened this goblin with violence and taken what I wanted. Now, I had to acknowledge that this wasn't that creature's fault. We simply did not need—nor wear—clothes.

Something in me feared that this wouldn't be the last we encountered someone curious about our foolish getup.

A glance past the goblin showed the princess still stoic.

"This can all be fixed rather quickly if you'd just accommodate this fine goblin," I explained.

Nothing. Not even a blink for my words.

This was foolish, beyond foolish. "Don't you know where you'll end up after those seventeen baby goblins fed, Majesty? With the elves. Evil, filthy, dirty elves."

"S'got a point." The goblin shuddered. "Wouldn't work with 'em if'a didn't have to." Those green eyes turned to me for sympathy. "But if we don't pay tribute now and then, they sweep through with their elvish magic and it all goes to shit, you see."

Well, the princess wasn't going to move and I did not see a way to get this transaction on the way. Everything in me said to leave her. I wouldn't have to worry about disposing of her myself. At this power level, the elves could more than cook her down without trouble. In ten to fifty years' time, Manoj would create a new one and....

All fight left me.

Because a new queen probably meant a new battle and one forever more. If I searched myself and was honest, I could admit that I wanted this incantation to be true—I wanted for this to be a queen that was a companion rather than an archenemy. How wondrous to have someone to confide in, not connive against.

I wanted the peace—the rest. Even as we squabbled these two days, there was a calm to it.

And as awful as she had been in her own way, I couldn't say she deserved to be eaten by elves.

"Very well," I said, kissing my teeth. "Would either of us suffice in this payment?"

The brightness in the goblin's gaze said the princess was a far more interesting specimen but eventually the goblin nodded.

"Fine. Then I will suffice? Correct?"

"But I've seen plenty of ugly penises. Yours does not interest me. But for her—"

"Last offer."

After a long pause, the goblin finally gave in. "Very well." Two eager eyes turned on me. The thin thoughtful lines of the lips were back, hands clasped and then...a recoil. The goblin leaned away once my kilt was open. "But—what's different about it? It's a fairly decent member."

Now it was my turn to take insult. "Fairly decent! I'll have you know this is a fine phallus!"

"Well, yes. I'd say so." The goblin gazed at me, curious yet unimpressed, "Does it not work or something? Is that why you cover it?"

"You...."

"That is exactly why." Seemingly reborn, good cheer renewed, the princess stepped out of the cage. "Thank you, dear goblin."

It was the wrong thing to say. Said goblin looked between us, fuming. "Don't you thank you dear goblin me! T'was a trick. A trick! I asked for the other and chose the one offered and there was nothing of consequence there. Nothing."

I balled my fists to keep from striking either of them. "You—"

"Secrets. You can take payments with secrets—" the princess began to offer.

"I don't want secrets. I want what I asked for. It was a trick."

For the first time, the princess's nerves gave out. She looked at me then began to undo her belt. I stilled her hand. Despite the goblin's interest, I stepped closer to her and whispered, "There is no deformity to show. It will only make matters worse. We must think of something else."

"We have nothing else." She paused and declared, "Your shield. That's the only thing tangible."

I nearly reached for her throat. "How about something that is yours, Majesty!"

Our eyes met and the silent argument went on until she finally let out a sigh and said, "Fine."

An hour later, the goblin sporting a new fur scarf and a fur pouch for the children to rest in, smiled, chuffed.

The princess wore a small smile of her own. When she stood beside me, I found some sense of pride. Her fingers were red from the blood and blisters as she'd worked on the goblin's payment.

A thought occurred to the princess. "But covering your neck—"

"Got an ugly neck," the goblin said, "so s'all right."

"Oh, I don't know," the princess attested, "I think it looks rather nice either way. And thank you for the warmth. It was very nice, even if it were your children."

The disappointment in her voice was what forced me to clarify a few things.

"How much of the tunneling does the elves control?"

The goblin scoffed. "All."

"Blast." I should have expected as much. Still, the trembling princess at my side got me thinking. "If I let the other seven feed, would you bestow us a hearth stone?"

The princess gasped. "I'm a princess! I won't."

I cut her a glance and she straightened up. When I was sure she'd no longer interrupt, I turned my attention to the goblin who'd already gotten the remaining seven ready.

I held out my arms, an action that took a gasp from the back of the princess's throat.

"Whatever it is you—"

"For once, Princess," I bit out when the goblin approached, "stop talking."

Seven fed pebble-sized baby goblins later, I held out my bloodied and bruised arms and received an onyx stone. After that, we both bowed and the goblin gathered the cage on wheels, fixed the scarf, and took another tunnel away from us.

There wasn't much to say after that. The princess certainly had no words to offer.

"Here," I said without looking.

She was slow to take the stone but breathe out once she had. "It's hot."

"It won't stay that way forever." I turned to take it back and tugged at the fabric covering her left breast. Once I put the stone there, she fell to her knees. I crouched with her, rubbing her shoulders. "It hurts at first, but it will come. Let it. Easy. Easy."

On her hands and knees, she let out a laugh. "This feels so good." That cheer didn't last long. "But it's dulling."

So quickly.

I looked up at the path the goblin took and formed my own conclusion. "Damn. Probably because of the first so called 'trick' on our side."

The princess trembled again as I helped her up.

"But why?" Tears gathered in her eyes, and she forced them back. "Why give me but a moment of warmth if I must carry on without it."

It wasn't supposed to be a moment. It was supposed to be days. But telling her that the goblin shrunk the magic on purpose to answer the slight would do no good.

I expected anger from her, maybe even blame.

What I didn't expect was for her to crouch, holding her arms as she hung her head.

This wouldn't help us—this defeatist mentality.

"Lady, there are goblins all about. We can get more stones. That is easy enough to suggest."

"It won't last. Better if I hadn't tasted warmth at all—not even once. Because now the cold is even more painful." After fishing out the stone from her bosom, she cast it in the dirt.

I was slow to pick it up.

We needed to get to the fates, first to align ourselves with her husband and second for me to regain my memories. That meant traveling on land with her miserable and near dead, or traveling below ground while dealing with the rotten elves. Both were not ideal.

But only one option gave me my shield and it was the one I wanted. Arriving at her husband with her half dead and suffering would not mean an alliance, but rather a fight.

That made up my mind for me.

"We'll get some stones—some fully tampered ones. But Princess, I need for you to trust in my words and more importantly, do not argue." When our eyes met, I warned her, "We're going to steal from the elves."