Chapter 6: To Be, or Not To Be... (Awkward)

Another day, another dollar. Or, more accurately, another day, another boring meal. Jonathan sighed. Mac'n'cheese was simple enough to make, and went good with a green salad. But even at that, he was now regretting not paying more attention to his mother's cooking lessons.

It was only day two of the alien occupation; many terrifying questions were still lingering in Jonathan's mind. Was he going to be forced to date Helen at spear-point? And if so, would the ensuing embarrassment be broadcast for the entire world to see? Was there any way he could escape this trap?

Jonathan could only ponder these things with silent apprehension as he walked over to the sink and rinsed off his dishes. He might as well pay a visit to Garruck and see what he had to say. As he scrubbed the residue off his dishes with the sponge, he looked out the window over the sink at the house next door. As luck would have it, he saw someone in the kitchen. Her black hair was pulled up into a bun, and she looked familiar. Had Jonathan seen her before?

Then, the girl turned her head in Jonathan's direction, and Jonathan had to stifle a scream.

Helen!

She waved and smiled at him, and Jonathan gave her a slight wave back, managing to give her a regular smile in return. But the second she turned away, he shut the curtain over the window and ducked down behind the counter.

This new reality was going to be anything but easy.

..................................

"Esteemed young citizens of Earth!" Garruck announced from the middle of the street. "Please come forward! I have some good news for you!"

By some miracle, even the teenagers currently engrossed in their over-the-top Nerf war listened, and joined everyone else as they gathered around Garruck and his guard detail.

"As many of you already know, your travel outside of this Matchville be limited for the first few months," Garruck began. "This is not to cut you off from the support of your friends, but rather, to help you make new friends amongst yourselves. To aid this process, we shall start our first initiative that we always do with the Matchvilles of every new planet we bring into our fold."

"What's that?" Jonathan asked.

"Why, Agricultural Innovation of course," Garruck answered.

The crowd of teenagers began to trade confused whispers among themselves, and some were even nervous. Farming in the middle of suburbia? How did the Hoo-Meerians think they'd make such a thing work?

"I absolutely like the idea of us learning things that would benefit us in the future, sir," Susan spoke up. "But how would we even start?"

"Glad you asked, young lady," Garruck smiled at her. "For starters, we will be using some of my people's technology to jump-start this process. Our Interstellar Enrichment Formula, for example, would shorten the time between the first sowing of the seeds and harvest."

"Would I be able to take a look at the formula, sir?" Susan said, her eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"Most certainly, Susan. You have a very intuitive mind."

"Freaking nerd," someone in the crowd muttered.

"Hey!" Darius yelled in the direction of Susan's insulter. "You'd better hold your tongue while it's still in your mouth!"

"Ohhhhh!" the other teenagers chorused.

"Would all of you please settle down!" Garruck commanded, his guards stepping forward with an intimidating look in their eyes. Jonathan raises his hands as he gulped.

"No need to tell me twice," he shuddered.

"To begin our work for today, you will be paired with whoever was placed in the house to the left of you. For some of you, such as Darius and Susan, you'll be working with someone you're already romantically invested in."

"But what if we don't like who was put next to us?" a girl with a snootier tone and stuck-up expression replied.

"Then you can go and clean all the bathrooms in the neighborhood while everyone else gets to work outside," Garruck smiled.

"Excuse me?" the girl snapped. "That is like, so disgusting."

"It's a wonder you're not excited to do it," Garruck winked. This roast elicited much laughter from the other teenagers.

Jonathan laughed along with them, but it was a very detached and nervous laugh. In the forefront of his mind, all he could think about was how he would not make a fool of himself in front of Helen. The Hoo-Meerian guards were too strong to resist, and he already knew from experience that constant insistence of not having feelings for a girl would just lead to more difficulty. So Jonathan took a deep breath and resigned himself to his fate.

It was going to be a long day.

.........................................

"So, was our Matchmaking Meditation correct?" the Hoo-Meerian Emperor asked the sole Elder who was with him on the flagship.

"Yes, my liege," the Elder bowed his head. "More precise than usual, actually. Due to this world's utilization of what they call 'social media', we were able to discern matches much quicker and adjust to the planet's cultural customs with ease."

"Marvelous," the Hoo-Meerian Emperor clasped his hands. "How is the planet populace adjusting so far?"

"There are small talks of dissidence and doubt here and there," the Elder shrugged. "But nothing of importance, your Excellency. Those kinds of whispers happen on every world we bring into the Matchmaking Fold."

"Yes, yes, unfortunately," the Emperor concurred, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Well, nothing we can do about that at the moment. The process is running smoothly so far. So we will begin the initial preparations for the next phase. How are the machines in the Vault of Great Minds running?"

A blink betrayed the Elder's surprise. "My liege?"

"Well? Are they still operating properly or do they need maintenance from the previous planet's induction?"

"No, my lord. The last inspection yielded zero discrepancies."

"Wonderful. Simply wonderful. Then do start running their usual diagnostics and see if the Vault requires expansion or decluttering. This world has special potential, Elder. We must not let that potential go to waste."

"Yes, my lord," the Elder bowed his head, and walked out of the Command Bridge.

The Hoo-Meerian Emperor rubbed his hands with childish excitement as he gazed down upon Earth from the viewport of the Bridge. The Matchmaking Fold would soon have another fine addition to its collection.

Oh what fun this was.

........................................

"Gah! Sorry, I didn't mean to touch your hand it was an accident I swear-!"

"Jonathan, it's okay!" Helen raised her voice, exasperated by the day's events.

"Young man, please," Garruck sighed, putting a hand over his forehead. "We're in the most sanitary climate on your planet and I'm still getting sick."

"Okay, okay," Jonathan said in humiliation.

"As I was saying," Garruck said. "Ensure that all holes are equally spaced apart before you plant the seeds, and only put two drops of Enrichment Formula per hole. One is to speed up the growth of the plant, and the other is to protect it against pests."

Jonathan and Helen did so, sprinkling the spinach seeds amongst the raised garden bed in Jonathan's backyard. Afterwards, they went down each side of the garden bed, using the eye-dropper-like devices provided by Garruck to put two drops of the enrichment formula into each hole.

"Now, what is the next step?" Garruck asked them.

"Cover up the seeds," Jonathan answered.

"Very good, young one," Garruck nodded. "Make it so."

Five minutes later, and the raised garden bed was a masterpiece of agricultural artwork. All that was left to do was wait for the spinach to start sprouting.

"Garruck, I have one question," Helen said.

"Yes, young lady?"

"You said this formula was crafted by your people's scientists with the goal of making crops less reliant on water. Why is that?"

"Ah, yes," Garruck chuckled. "The idea behind that is if a civilization doesn't need to use so much of it's natural resources to yield crops, it can use said resources for other things such as medical aid, cooking, and more. The more resilient the food supply is, the better."

"Wow, I've never thought of that," Helen said. "That's cool."

"I'm just glad my mom already had a garden bed back here," Jonathan chimed in. "She usually uses it to plant flowers, but I'm sure she'll be happy when I tell her that I'm able to make my own food."

"Independence and responsibility, Jonathan," Garruck replied with approval. "Just make sure one of you is always checking on this. Sometimes the formula does not work as intended."

"I can come check it tomorrow," Helen offered.

"Um, it's fine, I can just check it every day," Jonathan stammered.

"The less I have to be around Helen, the better!"

Garruck raised an eyebrow. "I do believe that Helen also wishes to partake in the care of this crop, Jonathan."

"Uh, yeah, I kind of do," Helen agreed, looking right at Jonathan.

Jonathan's blood froze.

He'd committed the single most egregious act a boy in love could ever commit.

He had offended his prospective crush, and now she was holding a gun to his head in the form of her mighty stare.

"Um, uh, um, how about every other day?"

Helen and Garruck exchanged a glance, and Helen nodded.

"Sure, I can work with that," she agreed.

"Splendid," Garruck said. "Well, I must return to my tower. Good evening to both of you."

And with that, he teleported away, leaving Jonathan alone to fend for himself against the most dangerous girl in his school.

"Well, I guess I need to go get dinner," Jonathan said. "Thanks for all the help today."

"Sure," Helen said with a small smile. "I'll come check the garden tomorrow."

"Uh, what time?"

"Around ten in the morning. Why?"

"Oh, no reason, just asking. See ya."

Before she could respond, Jonathan darted into his house, shutting the door behind him as quick as he could and locking the deadbolt once again. He waited a few moments as he listened for Helen to exit out of the backyard via the gate, then released the breath he'd been holding.

Why did love have to be so cruel to creative nerdy minds like him?

He made his way back to his bedroom, where he flopped onto the bed in exhaustion brought on by his social awkwardness. He'd managed to carry a normal conversation with Helen, yes. But now she must think him some inconsiderate oaf for wanting to be the sole caretaker of the spinach patch. Would she ever forgive him? Or would he face the wrath of a woman scorned, which was rumored to be greater than any fury from hell?

Opening his eyes, he gazed upon his mighty collection of Lego Star Wars troops and plastic army men of valor who had fought in many great battles of his making. No matter what the day threw at him, he could always count on this haven of his imagination to be a good boost for his morale.

"If only I could use these armies against the Hoo-Meerians," he thought.

Jonathan sighed as he changed out of his jeans and into his pajamas, ousting that foolish thought from his mind.

Just like all of his grandiose scenarios, it was yet another fantasy he would never make real. 

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