It was 8 pm and it started raining. We drove the boys to the interview place and started preparing them. As I was fixing mark's hair he looked at me straight in the eyes '' What's wrong ?''  he asked with a low voice avoiding others to hear, I hesitated for a couple of minutes before telling him the hall situation with Lee soo and jackson, '' Damn it '' he said looking angry at jackson '' this girl , she didn't stop wondering around him after you left'' ,'' she was doing that even before I leave, besides is she working with JYP now?'' I asked fixing every bit of his soft hair '' yes I think she's a model trainee ... I don't find her that attractive '' '' did you know that she was always cooking ramen without water '' mark's eyes widened as we both broke down in laughter, '' Yah what are you both laughing at ?'' Jinyoung asked curious, I turned sticking my tongue out '' We're laughing at you ''. Jackson was next to him looking at us silently, yes he wasn't as energetic as he always showed in front of the camera but jackson changed a lot when I left, It's like a hall new person. I avoided looking at him but he called me out '' Rita I think my hair need some fixing '' I instantly replied avoiding  him '' nina will take care of that !'' , '' actually I m busy with youngjae if you could...'' she said shilly. I sighted and mark lean over to me with a sweet smile on his face, he didn't say anything he just stood there looking at me with his wide cheerful eyes, I smiled from his cuteness  and turned towards jackson who was waiting in the corner. I started running my fingers through his wet hair, holding the hair dryer in the other one , his scent made me remember so many memories that made my heart beat so fast.

He turned to face me as I was drying his front hair, eyes locked on me with a strong gaze then after an awkward silence I said with a smile '' don't worry jackson I won't tell anybody not even Tyler so just relax'', he didn't make any reaction, his eyes were still devouring me then said '' at least she didn't run away'' with those words my left fingers accidentally hit the hot spot of the hair dryer and burnt them '' AGH ! '' I screamed holding my hand firmly '' let me see '' jackson said worried, searching through my fingers, I snatched away from him glaring at him '' it's nothing...even if it hurts...so bad ''tears started forming in my eyes,  I ran  outside so I can get away for him and his harsh words.

The manager let me go back to the hotel early. In my way down the hall I met Lee soo who was waiting in front of jackson s  room '' Oh you re here, means that the boys finished early'' she said looking around '' no I just came back early they will be here at around 10 pm'' she nodded and we stared at each other for a couple of minutes . I bowed and decided to leave, '' you know..'' she said making me stop for a second ''...we slept together me and jackson..''. My eyes widened and I could feel the air blocking my lungs , I  turned back to her with wide smile and threw her a congratulation before I rushed back to my room.

Before I could close the door, tears were coming down my eyes like a river, What did I expect? him running towards me welcoming me back ? I hurt him and this was my punishment ! We are not together and we never were ! he can be with any girl he wants, I felt strong anger bowling suddenly inside me, and I can be with any guy I want !! I stood up on my feet, went to change my clothes and head down to the hotel's bar. I wasn't a drinker I only wanted to meet someone, to feel the attraction of the opposite sex , I wanted to replace jackson's image so bad.

'' hello gorgeous can I buy you a drink ?'' a blond  young man said approaching me minutes after I sat in the bar, I smiled not caring for anything '' no alcohol please'' he nodded smiling then went to bring me a cocktail. We started chatting about everything, he was  a young business man from australia who came on a vocation to malaysia '' do you want me to bring you another one ?'' he asked gently , I already drank two and my head was spinning like crazy, '' Are you ... um sure this...doesn't have alcohol ?'' he put his hand on my shoulder slowly coming closer '' are you feeling ok ?'' he asked with an evil smirk. Why did I do this in the first place? It's because of that jerk, that asshole. Tears started coming down my face, and I  started crying sobbing all over the place, The man who I don't even know the name came closer and whispered in my ear '' now now don't cry , let's go to my room you ll feel better I promise '' I wanted to pull him away but my body was too slow. ''I ll take it from here '' a voice came behind us, as we turned Jackson was standing there with an angry expression on his face. he took of the man's arm from my shoulder and dragged me inside the hotel. '' Wait...where are you taking... wait'' I struggled with words trying to escape his strong hand, we stood in front of my room and ordered me to give him the key. He opened the door dragged me inside then slammed it as hard as he could. ''Are you out of your mind ?'' he yelled at me ''Were you worried about me ? '' '' of course you stupid girl ! what were you doing in a bar with a stranger, and since when do you drink '' I sat on the edge of the bed trying to control my body then continued '' first off all I didn't know the drink had alcohol second of all you have your girlfriend to worry about'' , he run his hand in his hair irritated '' she is not my girlfriend'' , '' ah sorry sorry ! you slept with her but she s not your girlfriend, isn't this how you do it idols ? not having the right to date but still taking advantages'' I said with a smirk on my face, he rushed in front of me took my shoulders in his strong hands and said '' I have never taken advantage of you '' I looked at him straight in the eyes and replied '' and I didn't run away because I was afraid to get hurt, but because I didn't want to destroy your dream'' jackson's eyes widened in surprise I pushed his hands away and continued '' I may have seemed like a selfish girl to you but the reason I left is because JYP saw us holding hands that day and he told JB, If I stayed nothing would have stopped you from meeting me and it would have put you in a very dangerous position'' I stood up still looking at jackson's shocking face '' I loved you so much , and if JYP didn't see us that day I would have waited for you forever'' My eyes filled with tears and jackson was frozen in his place shocked by my confession, before he could say anything else I said turning my back to him '' now will you please leave me alone'', he stood there for a couple of minutes before he got out of the room.