Virginia Woolf once said, "I am in the mood to dissolve in the sky.". I've never had one sentence touch my soul as this one had. It was as if this one simple sentence had been written about me, I could feel the words seeping their way further into my mind, imprinting themselves into every little crevice they could find.

The words had such a beautiful ring to them, don't you think. The idea that one could just simply dissolve, to disappear, was something that I wished I could do. Dissolving had to be better than the life I was living right now, hell anything had to be better than what I was going through right now.

Sighing I rolled onto my side, pulling my comforter over my head. It was currently four in the morning, and I still couldn't sleep, I was exhausted, but my body had other plans for me. So what do I do, I do the only logical thing any sleep-deprived person does, I reflect on all the bad shit that has happened to me.

My life hadn't always been this bad, it used to be semi-good, but everything went to shit after she met him. Him being my stepfather Kevin, my mom married him ten years after the death of my father. Dad passed away fourteen years ago from a car crash, I was only four when he died, sadly I can't remember him as well as I used to, but one thing I do remember is how depressed my mom was until she met Kevin.

At first, things were awkward between us. I was fourteen when we met for the first time, I saw him as someone who was trying to replace my father. I was mad at my mother as well, I remember yelling at her about how she didn't love dad anymore, and how she was trying to replace him with some guy she barely knew. I had stormed off to my room, sulking, when Kevin had come up to my room to talk to me.

He came in, sat down on my bed, and said he wanted to talk with me, man to man. I listened to him talk, he let me voice my thoughts, made me feel safe as he comforted me, I eventually warmed up to him. Half of it was because I liked him and the other half was due to seeing how happy he made my mother, I hadn't seen her smile that in years.

They married two years later, they were even expecting a baby, a little girl named Jenifer, but when mom hit her last month things turned and not for the better. Mom had to be rushed to the emergency room one night after collapsing in the kitchen while making dinner. The doctor said she was suffering from preeclampsia, and they had no other choice but to go ahead and deliver the baby, after hours of sitting in the waiting room the doctor finally came out to let us know how everything had gone.

One thing I noticed though was the grim expression on the doctor's face as he made his way towards us and judging by Kevin's expression I wasn't the only one who had noticed it either. Once the doctor had reached us he gave us the bad news, Jenifer hadn't made it, and mom was in critical condition.

That's when things turned for the worse, mom once again fell into a deep depression, while Kevin never really came home anymore, and when he was home he was always shit-faced. It seemed like all they did was fight 24/7, it got so bad at times that the cops had been called more than once.

It was four days before my 17th birthday when mom left us, she and Kevin got into one of their fights again, she started screaming about how she couldn't do this anymore, how she was tired of living in hell. She went upstairs, packed her bags, didn't even say bye or even give me one glance, and left.

I had been convinced that I was going to get kicked out of the house, but surprisingly Kevin never did, I wish he had. I wish my mom had cared enough about me to take me with her, I wish she never met him, I wish my father was still here.

"Get your ass up, it's time for school," Kevin yelled out after slamming my door open, causing me to bolt into a sitting position.

"Get dressed." with that he slammed my door shut, leaving me there feeling confused.

I looked over at my alarm seeing it was already 6 in the morning.

"Great now I get to put up with everyone at school with zero sleep," I mumbled to myself as I got out of bed, already feeling irritated.

I walked into the bathroom, doing my morning business before brushing my teeth, I stood there looking at my reflection, you could tell I didn't get any sleep last night. I grabbed my comb running it through my hair, before walking into my room, I threw on a pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and my favorite hoodie. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my backpack, and walked out of my room.

When I got downstairs, Kevin was already waiting for me in his truck, I walked out onto the porch, locking the front door behind me. I made my way over to his beat-up truck, trying to be as quick as possible, I wasn't entirely sure of the mood he was in today. Getting into the truck, he started towards the school.

"You look like shit today," Kevin said.

"Oh," was all that I could say, what was I supposed to say to that?

"Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked.

"Not really."

I could hear Kevin let out a deep sigh before the truck fell into silence again. Rolling my eyes I turned my attention towards the window, watching the trees pass by as we drove down the road. Kevin wasn't wrong though, I did look like shit today, not only did I look it but I felt like it as well, my head was pounding and I was exhausted, all I wanted to do was have Kevin turn us around so I could go to bed.

I could hear the annoying clicking of the truck's blinker, as we turned into the school's parking lot. Once we stopped I went to open the door before he stopped me.

"I won't be home until late tonight, so you'll have to take the bus home today, oh and here."

Kevin pulled out his wallet, handing me a twenty-dollar bill.

"Order whatever you want for dinner, I'll pick something up on one of my breaks."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I got out of the truck.

I barely had the door shut before he sped off, groaning out in annoyance I stuffed the twenty into the front pocket of my jeans. I hadn't even entered the building yet and everyone was already annoying me, I hated school and everyone in it with a fiery passion, well except for one person, but we'll get into that at a different time.

I walked through the crowded hallways of the school, trying to get to my first-period class before the bell rang, last thing I needed was to hear Ms. Vallery bitching at me for being late again. Seeing how she is with all of her students it's no wonder she's still not married, she bitches about everything, not to mention when she decides to talk down to all of us like we're two-year-olds.

I walked into Ms. Vallery's classroom, going straight to my desk, sitting down right as the bell rings. Looking around I notice that only about half the class is here, hell even Ms. Vallery wasn't here yet.

"Oh thank god she's not here yet," a feminine voice said from the doorway.

Looking up I see the source of the voice taking her seat right in front of me. Mia Loves was her name, she was the poster child for your typical popular girl next door type, she was currently the captain of the cheerleading team, dating the star quarterback of the football team, everyone loved her in, including me. Well, I wasn't in love with her, but that wasn't to say that I didn't have a small crush on her.

Mia and I used to be semi-close back in middle school, that's actually when my crush on her started, but you know what they say, highschool proves who your true friends are, and they certainly weren't wrong. I went from having a very small group of friends to now being a loner, I might as well be invisible to everyone around me, well except for Ms. Vallery.

I guess being ignored by everyone here wasn't so bad, at least it was a break from Kevin's shit, but it would be nice to at least have one friend.

"Woah. Hey did you get contacts?"

"Huh?"

Looking up I see that Mia had turned around in her seat and was now staring at me.

"You're not wearing your glasses today, so I just figured you got contacts," Mia said.

I had to start wearing glasses at the age of six, so I've been wearing them my whole life, after breaking what felt like the millionth pair I finally made the trade to contacts. That and Kevin was getting pretty frustrated at me for breaking so many.

"Oh, uh yeah I finally decided to get contacts," I said, I could feel my cheeks heating up under her intense stare.

"Um, why are you staring at me?"

"Sorry, it's just that I don't think I've ever seen you without your glasses before," she said, her lips turning up in a soft smile.

"Oh."

Mia gave me one last glance before turning around in her seat, I sat there staring at the back of her head still feeling kind of confused. What the hell just happened? Did Mia seriously just talk to me after like, what a year or so?

"Oh by the way have you found a partner yet for this art project?" Mia asked, turning to face me once more.

"No, why?"

"You want to team up? I don't have a partner yet and honestly, I'd rather be teamed up with you than anyone else in this room," she said, whispering the last part.

"Uh, yeah sure," I said, as she handed me a piece of paper.

"This is my number, text me about 8 or so tonight, I have cheer practice today."

"Sure," I said, stuffing the piece of paper into the pocket of my jeans.

Mia turned back around right as Ms. Vallery walked in.

"Sorry, I'm late everyone."

Ms. Vallery walked into the room, setting her things down on her desk before turning her full attention to us.

"Turn to page 183, read until you hit page 230, then we'll be taking a quiz on it," she said.

The sound of 20+ students groaning out in annoyance filled the room as we grabbed our books. Did I mention how much I hated school?

______

"Thank God," I said as I exited the bus, taking in a deep breath of fresh air.

I don't think I've ever been so happy to be home in my life. School was just downright terrible today, it seemed like I had non-stop tests all day. I hurriedly walked down the driveway, I practically tore the front door off its hinges on my way inside.

I ran up the stairs, going straight to my room, the only thing I wanted right now was my bed. I entered my room, throwing my backpack down to the floor, I quickly started undressing, stripping down to my shirt and boxer briefs.

Crawling into bed, I pulled the covers over my head, letting the quietness lull me into a deep slumber.