I felt the chilly air of Seoul in Autumn hitting my face lightly as i walked towards the entrance of the airport (like when you land and you walk in to grab your luggage) with Yoochan sleeping peacefully in my arms.

I tugged on his coat to try and make sure he is not cold or will catch a cold and walked in waiting for our suitcases so appear on the little moving thingy that you take your bags off of.

(yes idk how its called and yes im stupid)

I grabbed the two large suitcases and put them on a luggage trolley and pushed it towards the exit with Yoochan still in my arms.
As i reached the exit i saw couple taxis parked outside waiting for someone in need of their service.
A man spotted me and smiled my way.

"Hello miss. Do you need a taxi?" He asked politely and i nodded smiling slightly at him.

He took the suitcases and put them at the trunk of the car.
I adjusted Yoochan better in my arms to make sure he won't fall and got in the car.

"Take us to XXXXX hotel please."

I said and he nodded as he started the engine and the car roared in life.
After about 20 minutes we arrived at the not that luxury or rich hotel and got out.
Yoochan was still sleeping since Greece and Korea has a 6 hours difference and the jet lag was huge.
I got out holding him in my arms and the man helped me take my luggage out and i paid him the money he deserved.
I started carrying the suitcases the best i could.
After couple of steps towards the entrance i sighed giving up.
I placed the suitcases on the floor and thought of ways to carry Yoochan to our room without waking him up.
The fact that i was wearing boots with a bit of heels didn't help the situation at all.
I put on of the suicases on top of the kther one and dragged them near the entrance.
I took one in my hand and walked to the reception.
I placed it near by and dragged the other one there as well.

"Hello miss. How may i help you?" A staff asked me and i placed Yoochan in a better, more comfortable position in my arms.

"Hello I've booked a room under the name Min Y/n." I said and smiled politely.

"Oh yeah! Here is your key. Do you want me to send one of our staff to help you with your luggage?" He said eyeing the two suitcases and Yoochan.

"Yes i would really appreciate that!" I said and he smiled nodding.

Soon a young male, younger than me probably in his early 20s (22/23), came and lifted them up and turned to smile at me.

"This way miss." He said and started walking towards the elevator.

I followed right after.

"In which floor are you and your son are staying?"

"Oh we are at the 3rd floor. Room 345."

He nodded pressing the button and the elevator started going to the third floor.
And in no time i was in my room's balcony alone with a sleeping Yoochan on the bed.
The man had left couple minutes ago after i thanked him of course.
I was sitting at a chair with a glass of water in front of me and a cigarette in my hand.

Yup i started smoking couple of years ago, never near Yoochan though, and even though i tried to stop and i had been making progress for about three months now, im too stressed these days.
I threw the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it.
I sighed and looked into the sky.
After a while i took my phone out.
I went through the conversation me and my aunt have had a few days ago.

Tomorrow afternoon around 5pm we're gonna meet at a cafeteria.
I will take Yoochan with me of course and introduce him to her.
She doesn't know about the situation im in or any details about my life.
She just knows my father was an abuser and that my mom, her sister, had to leave when i was really young.
Im kinda glad i found out i had relatives.
If everything goes smoothly i will finakky have someone by my side again, after i had to leave Yoongi.

Yoongi... oh my angel Yoongi.
How i miss you and your smile!
How i miss your hugs!
How its killing me to know you have been searching for me...
How its killing me to know you still love me...

FLASHBACK

After leaving the company i started living in Busan.
Non of the members knew where i was.
But then i started meeting with Bang Pd-nim and he helped me out with everything.
Eventually you found out about me being in korea still and "stalked" the known CEO and learnt when our next meeting was.
When i arrived you ran through the door and tried to hug me and talk to me.
I panicked and pushed you away running out the door.
'Abeoji' said to his bodyguards to keep you away from me.
Thats when my heart broke.
When i saw you falling on your knees crying with two males holding your arms to keep you from running...
Im such a bad person...
I broke you and myself...
Im so sorry Yoongi..

END OF FLASHBACK

I wiped a tear slipping off my eyes and took out the letters he has been sending me all these years.
He always left them to my Abeoji's office and he just knew they would reach me somehow.

Why did you leave me?
Where are you?
Don't you love me anymore?
Are you okay?
So many questions yet youre not here to answer them...
I miss you... please come back...

Your one and only Min Yoongi.

I couldn't take it anymore.
How is it possible for me to not love you?
I punched the wall next to me really hard and letting everything out.
My frustration, sadness, axiousness, anger that had built uo throughout the years.
It was all out.
I punched the wall couple of times and the started crying as i fell on my knees.

Ive been too strong for too long.
Being a single mother in such young age, under such conditions.
Having too leave the people who made my life 1000 times better because of some sick freak that wanted to harm us.
Having to leave the only person that made me believe in love after so many years of not having any sort of feelings about anyone.
I havent lived an easy life after all.
And everyone needs to break down once in a while and let it all out.
A parent or not.

I picked myself up and and walked onto the room with red swollen puffy eyes.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth- getting rid of the bad smell of cigarettes- and lied down next to Yoochan.
When he felt the bed sinking down a bit, he turned and looked at me with half-open eyes.
He smiled and hugged me.

I need to stay strong... for him.
For Yoochan.

A/n

This chapter was so dramatic lmfao

⬇⬇Reason of not updating⬇⬇

Im really sorry i I couldn't update the past few days.
But lets just say i didnt have such a good week.
Having mid-year exams and being super busy with other problems irl didnt really help my motivation!

I apologise to all of you who were waiting for an update for so long!

Vote and comment💕💞

Word count: 1220 (no a/n)