When he came in the next day Annie held her hand up in greeting. This time he returned the wave. As she approached him his leg began to shake. Annie wondered if he did this to everyone or whether it was just her. She thought she might get Ruby to serve him tomorrow to see if she could work out the reason.

"Hello again," Annie said.

His head joggled as his eyes swept to hers. "Hello."

"So, will it be black coffee and a steak sandwich with barbecue sauce today or will you try something else? The fish is pretty good." Annie beamed like a shaft of light and waited to see how he would respond.

"The same as before. Thanks."

She couldn't help but laugh. His brow creased and his eyes darted to hers again. He sank lower in the seat. Annie understood that he didn't know why she was laughing. She grinned and said, "So instead of me taking your order everyday should I just put it in when I see you coming?"

Rohan felt like someone had grabbed hold of his throat and his means to breathe was taken away from him. He had been on a high since yesterday and the experience had him eager to return. "You don't want to take my order?"

The pained expression on his face ripped at Annie's heart. He thought she didn't want to talk to him. "Oh yes, but it saves time in case you're in a hurry to get back to work. Lots of regulars do it and you are going to be a regular aren't you?" She searched for something to put a smile on his face. "At least I hope you are, because you have a nice face, and it's even nicer when you smile."

His ability to breathe was punched back into play. The sudden intake of air felt like someone had thumped him in the chest. He closed his eyes.

She liked his face.

His face.

Rohan Wayland's face.

"Are you alright? Do you get asthma?"

He felt her small hand on his back patting him lightly. Rohan opened his eyes, sucked in another breath of air and shook his head.

"I'll get you some water," she said. "Hang on."

Before he could do anything, she was gone. He held his head in his hands and breathed deeply in and out. She liked his face and she was getting him water. She was being kind to him. He looked up when she came back to see one of the old men was with her.

"Here you go. This is Sid. He was an ambulance officer in his day and knows about this stuff."

Rohan stared wide-eyed at the man, and then back at her. She was worried, really worried. "I'm okay... just..."

"Calm down, son. It's okay, you're among friends here. Get him a wet cloth, Puss." Sid slid onto the seat opposite and held the glass of water towards him. "Here have a sip and breathe in and out slowly."

Rohan tried. Fear gripped his body. His mouth was dry. He felt his eye twitch as he looked at the man, and saw uncertainty on his face.

"I don't think it's asthma, is it, son? Looks more like anxiety to me. Do you suffer from anxiety?"

Saliva caught in Rohan's throat. It hurt to swallow. His Adams apple shot up his neck, and then down again. He licked his lips, nodded and murmured, "A bit, sometimes."

Sid chuckled and glanced over his shoulder. "It's okay. Puss doesn't bite. Not that I know of anyway."

Rohan blushed and nodded as he hung his head. "I'm not good with..." But before he was finished, she had rushed back with the damp cloth.

"Are you sure you're not still sick? Maybe you need to go..."

"It's okay, girl. He's okay." Sid cut her off and stood up. "Short Pants is okay. Come on now and give him some space." He grabbed her by the arm and led her away.

As Rohan followed them with his eyes Sid looked over his shoulder and gave him a nod. Rohan couldn't help it but he sucked in another gulp of air. The old man knew he had a crush on the waitress. Rohan thought for sure he would tell her. He couldn't come back, not now, because she would laugh at him.

*

He did come back. She had worried. Had been really worried and Sid, the old man, said he was with friends. Rohan had never had a friend before. He wasn't sure what it felt like to have a friend. The thought that these people might allow him to sit in the café and just let him be himself was enough to make him get a tingling feeling in his head.

When he sat in his booth, she waved at him. Rohan took a deep breath, nodded in greeting, and then he looked out of the window to gather himself.

"I got your coffee. You do want coffee, don't you?"

Rohan quickly looked at her. His stomach muscles clenched. "Thanks."

Annie poured the cup and thought it best to leave him alone today. Sid said it was anxiety he suffered from. Annie figured it came with being shy and she didn't want to scare him off.

"Do you want your steak sandwich as usual?"

"Thanks."

Annie took the money and scurried away. He had the correct change so there was no need to go back to him until his sandwich was ready.

*

Rohan kicked himself for only being able to say thanks. Shit he was useless. How the hell did he ever expect people to accept him? He analysed the café's regulars because she said he was now one of them.

The man named Sid was sitting with three others. Rohan studied Sid. He was average height with a round happy face. It looked like he had a hair lip that had been fixed. The scar was still there lifting part of his mouth a fraction.

As he watched he heard the names Harry, Bert and Al being said. He remembered the taller man with the thick grey hair was Harry. She had called him Harry the day she had played cards with them. Rohan grinned at the memory of her pretend tantrum and she saying she wouldn't kiss Harry again. He looked like a retired business man. Rohan wondered how two men with completely different professions had become friends. That was, if Harry was a retired business man.

Rohan sipped his coffee. He could have been a doctor. That would somehow make them connected. Although, if he was a doctor, it would have been him, and not Sid, who had come to check on him yesterday.

A really tall thin man Rohan put as being Bert. The other who was very round and short with a sprig of red hair had to be Al.

He watched as the little Islander lady with big hips served a large man at the end of the counter with his meal. The man was pointing at his plate and saying something. Rohan could tell the woman wasn't happy.

She suddenly burst out. "I'm telling you, Mal Armstrong, the fish don't come with tartare sauce unless you ask for it. How many years you been coming here ordering the God damn same meal and you're trying to tell me you have tartare sauce. Man, you need your head read. Gus...! Can you come here a minute?"

A big sweaty white man put his head through the servery window. "What is it, honey?"

"Do you ever give Mal tartare sauce with his fish?"

"No, Ruby, never."

"Then you tell him that will you."

Rohan watched her storm off and noticed the two men look at each other.

Shrugging his shoulders, Mal grinned while Gus sighed and shook his head. He held his tongs towards Mal. "I tell you, Mal. one of these days I'm gonna fry you. You just do that shit to get her going don't you?"

Mal chuckled and took a fork full of food. "A person's gotta feel alive every now and then, Gus. Surely you wouldn't deny a man that now, would you?" He chewed his mouthful and swallowed. As Gus was withdrawing his head Mal called, "Hey, Gus! Best piece of fish I've tasted in a long while. Even without the tartare sauce."

Gus shook his head again but Rohan caught the grin on his face. He sighed and went back to his own meal. There was something about this place which left a warm feeling in his belly.

*

For the rest of the week Rohan watched them. He wished she'd talk to him more. She came and politely asked what he'd like with a happy tone in her voice. Rohan wanted her to smile at him like she did Sid and Harry. When he saw her put her lips to Harry's cheek, he felt a pang of jealously, and then heard Gus call, "What? Is it his birthday or something?"

She laughed and called back, "No. He let me win pontoon for the first time in forever."

Anxiety can be a debilitating.  If you or a loved one suffer from anxiety or panic attacks please seek help.

Photo image - Banyan Mental Health.