Tick, tick, tick, tick

It was the only sound in the room, the endless ticking of the clock on the wall. It was the only sound Jesse had to listened to for hours. A constant reminder that she hasn't had a wink of sleep.

Jesse was lying on her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her brown eyes were wide open, completely adjusted to the dark as she silently traced the patterns on her wooden ceiling.

It was odd. Midnight had already come, and Jesse didn't feel remotely tired. Struggling to sleep wasn't anything new to her, in fact it's been days since Jesse last had a peaceful night's rest. But she usually suffered the consequences.

Why did she feel so... fine?

Jesse rolled over onto her side, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She had taken off her armour long ago and got into something more comfortable, but it hadn't really helped her. In fact, being able to see every inch of rosy skin on her arms and legs made it really hard to forget about what happened.

Recognising the faint red reflection against her bedsheets made Jesse close her eyes. She's realised that whenever her thoughts got too deep, her eyes began to emit a faint red glow. Jesse didn't know what to think of it, but she didn't like it. Her limbs felt all tingly, like she had bunch of pent up energy ready to explode.

Jesse's eyes slowly opened again. Energy or emotions?

I'm willing to listen, no matter what hour.

Hearing Petra's words replay in her head, Jesse glanced over at her bedroom door. Usually, she would go do just that. Her friends' support was the one thing that always helped Jesse, that always made her feel better. She's regretted every time she's rejected their comfort.

But something felt different that night. It was like talking to her friends in itself felt odd. Was it just the fact that they all looked at her differently?

Or was it because a part of the old Jesse was no longer there?

The reflection of the red glow in Jesse's eyes immediately brightened at the thought. She shook her head, sitting upright and rapidly combing her fingers through her unkept chestnut hair.

"I'm still me."

The words quivered, Jesse's voice sounding small and broken. But saying it out loud helped the speed of her racing heartbeat decrease by a fraction.

Deciding that being cooped up in her room wasn't helping her in the slightest, Jesse got up from the bed. Despite the chill in the air, she didn't feel the need to grab a jacket, simply walking to the door and stepping out into the dark hallway. For a moment, Jesse stood in the shadows, clueless about her next move. Her eyes subconsciously flickered over to Petra's bedroom door, which hung ajar – unusual, Petra probably thought it'd encourage Jesse to come talk to her.

Jesse genuinely wanted to, she wanted to let the flurry of emotions inside of her loose. But instead she found herself turning away from the warrior's room, silently walking down the stairs. She didn't like how inviting the dark, empty building was. Why was the loneliness and the shadows suddenly so appealing?

She faintly recalled Petra saying that Olivia left food out for her. Surprisingly, Jesse didn't feel hungry in the slightest. When was the last time she ate? She was meant to be starving at that point!

In the dark, the familiar red glow began to dance off of the walls. Suppressing a groan, Jesse sunk down against the nearest wall until she was sitting on the ground. She buried her head in her hands, shutting her eyes tightly so she wouldn't be reminded of the glow her gaze emitted.

A shuffle caused Jesse's head to snap back up. She sat frozen for a second, listening intently for any noise. Was somebody else awake?

Taking a deep breath, Jesse slowly got up from the ground again. Her eyes were glowing brightly, the red glow almost completely masking the tears that had begun to glint in her eyes. Jesse quickly blinked them away, creeping in the direction where the noise came from.

She stopped at the entrance to the kitchen, noticing a dim light turned on inside. Carefully peeking around the corner, Jesse could barely make out the figure that stood at the counter, slowly filling up a glass of water for themselves. Alright, good, she hadn't woken somebody.

Jesse began to slowly edge back, wanting to retreat before the person saw her. But then they stiffened, slowly raising their head. Jesse felt her heart drop, also seeing the faint red glow reflected in the glass window.

The person looked around, their face and expression completely hidden in the shadows. In the dark, it took them no time at all to locate the source of the glow and lock gazes.

"Jesse?" She immediately recognised Petra's voice.

"Hey." Jesse mumbled awkwardly, looking down.

She heard Petra's footsteps approach as her friend walked up to her, stopping a few steps in front of Jesse. It was soon followed by a warm hand touching her arm, which coaxed Jesse to look up. There was something disturbing about seeing the red glow reflected in Petra's blue eyes, knowing the source was her own.

"I was beginning to think I wouldn't see you tonight." Petra said softly, uncertainly. "Um, your eyes..."

"I know." Jesse subconsciously blinked a few times.

"Is everything okay?" Petra asked her again.

"I... don't know." Jesse admitted, wrapping her arms around herself. It was silent for a moment, before she spoke again. "Emotions. I think that's what triggers the glow."

"That's... kind of freaky, but also cool." Petra's words made Jesse crack a faint smile.

She felt the hand on her shoulder give it a gentle squeeze.

"Come on." Petra said gently. "Let's go sit down."

Jesse didn't object, just nodding numbly and following Petra out of the kitchen. She replied with silent shakes of her head, when Petra asked her if she wanted anything to eat or drink.

"I couldn't sleep." Petra said, as the two of them sunk down on one of the living room couches. "There was just so much shit that went down today, my mind won't settle."

"I couldn't either." Jesse admitted softly.

"You know you could have come to me." Petra said, taking one of Jesse's hands in hers. "I meant what I said earlier."

"I know." Jesse responded softly. "I just... I don't know. Everything feels out of place."

"We're going to find a way out of this." Petra reassured her. "But in the meantime I need you to not take a page from my book." She chuckled slightly at her own words. "I know you, Jesse. I know how important it is for you, especially, to talk about this."

Every word Petra spoke was true, and Jesse agreed with what her friend was saying. But despite that fact, something about the redhead's encouragements were... angering her. Why? Anger was the last emotion she should be feeling at that moment.

"I won't push it." Petra said, smiling faintly in the dark. "Believe me, I understand not wanting to talk about myself very well."

You don't. You don't understand what it's like.

"But don't make the same mistakes I did, don't keep this bottled up until it's too late. We're all here for you."

Jesse gritted her teeth slightly, looking down. Hot tears of frustration stung her eyes, her muscles tight with emotions. She couldn't remember a time in her life when she felt like that.

"Besides." Petra said. "After everything you've been through today, nobody's going to blame you for- Ow!"

Jesse jumped in surprise when Petra suddenly ripped her hand away from Jesse's, jumping up from the couch and clutching it to her chest. She was gasping slightly, looking up at Jesse with wide eyes.

It was only then that Jesse realised her own hands were shaking and trembling, her breaths uneven. Her heart pounded wildly inside her chest.

Jesse's gaze drifted down to Petra's hand, feeling her breath hitch in her throat when she saw exactly what had made her friend react in the way she did. Burns.

"What?" Jesse looked down at her own hands again, feeling her heart start to beat at a mad pace. "I.. I... didn't do that... I.." She gulped slightly, not finding the words.

"You had no control." Petra said softly, clearly recognising that Jesse hadn't intended to hurt her. She took a deep breath, flinching as she held her hand.

"God, Petra I'm so, so sorry." Jesse choked out as she got to her feet as well, her voice cracking throughout the sentence.

"Easy, it's just a burn, I've survived worse." Petra said immediately.

"I still hurt you." Tears glimmered behind the bright red glow in Jesse's eyes.

"Don't beat yourself up over this." Petra insisted, taking a step towards Jesse. Concern danced in her blue eyes. "Clearly getting a pep talk isn't what you need right now."

Jesse looked down, a tear trickling across her face and dripping onto the carpet. Her eyes were glowing so brightly, it was impossible to tell what colour her irises were beneath them.

"Talk to me." Petra said softly. "What are you feeling? And don't you dare say 'nothing', because I'm willing to bet Miss Butter's life that an emotion triggered that too."

"Anger." It was an almost inaudible whisper, followed by fresh tears running down Jesse's face.

Petra's expression fell slightly, and she tilted her head over to the side in puzzlement. "Anger?" She asked softly. "Did I say something?"

"N-no!" Jesse looked up again, her gaze desperate. "I don't know why I'm feeling this way, nothing is making sense right now. Nothing you did or said is meant to make me angry!"

Despite the fact that Jesse had physically burned her on the last contact, Petra put both her hands out onto Jesse's shoulders.

"Deep breaths." She said firmly. "It's not the end of the world."

Jesse opened her mouth to say something, but then only did as Petra said. Closing her eyes, and taking a deep, shaky breath.

"I'm sorry." The words came out on instinct, broken and sad.

"Apologise one more time and I'll find something to burn you back with." Petra said softly, pulling Jesse closer to her and enveloping her in a hug. "You've just been through too much today."

Jesse rested her head on Petra's shoulder, tears glinting on her face in the dark. She barely heard any of the reassuring words her friend was whispering out.

All that she could focus on, was suppressing the urge to push Petra off and deny her comfort any more.

------------------------

"So, what are we looking for?" Olivia asked, leaning against the wooden table that sat in the middle of the order's library.

"Anything about Admins." Petra muttered from where she was already sitting, head resting in one hand while the other paged through a thick book. "Or the Underneath, we need to know if there's still a portal somewhere."

"The what now?" Axel asked.

"Didn't you already look for anything like that in here?" Olivia asked thoughtfully. "When you first encountered Romeo?"

"The Admin was a myth before he walked in here and smashed Jesse's town to bits." Petra snapped, looking up at Olivia. "And then he forced her to go on his stupid quest if she didn't want her town to fall pray to the strays. There wasn't exactly time to sit and research anything." She looked back down at the book, gritting her teeth. "Of course you'd know that if you were here." she added in a low whisper.

"Excuse me, what?" Olivia asked, a pinch of annoyance becoming audible in her own voice.

"Okay, let's not start arguing." Lukas said, putting a few books down on the table. "We're not going to get anywhere at this rate. We have a lot to work through already, and Radar's bringing more from Beacontown's library later."

"This is going to take forever." Axel grunted as he plonked down on one of the chairs. "Do we have snacks?"

"Your best friend's life is at stake and you're wondering about snacks?" Petra exclaimed, her head snapping up.

"Petra, calm down-" Lukas began.

"No, I'm not calming down." Petra snapped. "This is a waste of time, I'd rather act than sit here and.. and... read!"

She shut the book she was paging through loudly, slamming her gloved hand down on it. Flinching, she pulled it back and rubbed it.

"Oh, working with you hasn't gotten any easier, I see." Olivia responded, pulling a different book closer. "Always wanting to rush into things blindly, barely able to sit still and thi-"

"You know what, I'm done."

Petra scraped her chair back, getting up and striding away. There was a heavy silence between the remaining three people around the table, as they listened to her heavy footsteps stomping up the stairs, fading into the distance.

"She hasn't changed one bit." Olivia said with a sigh.

"Look, go easy on her." Lukas replied. "Petra's been here before any of us even woke up, she's probably been sitting at this table for hours already. I'm sure she just needs a break."

Axel and Olivia only exchanged glances, not seeming convinced. Axel shrugged slightly, and Olivia turned her attention back to the book in front of her. Lukas pulled a hand through his hair, hesitantly looking back in the direction Petra had stormed off. Not saying anything else, he turned around and began following after her. Olivia was right, Petra did rush into things too easily. He just wanted to make sure she wasn't going to do anything she's going to regret.

Much to Lukas's surprise, Petra hadn't even left the order hall. The moment he came up the stairs he saw her, pacing up and down in frustration. Blue eyes cold and narrowed, her freckled face reddened in anger.

"What do you want?" Petra asked, glaring over at Lukas.

"For you to take a deep breath and calm down." Lukas said seriously, taking a step closer to Petra. "What's wrong with you this morning, Petra?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong?!" Petra stopped in front of Lukas, looking him straight in the eye. "Our friend is cursed or whatever the hell you want to call it! She needs us to help her, not sit around a table with a bunch of cookies and books."

"Remember what I said about taking a deep breath?" Lukas asked. "I know, Petra, and I want to help Jesse as much as you do. But right now, none of us know in which direction to go."

Petra pulled in a deep, frustrated inhale, locking her gaze on the wooden floor beneath them. The anger's flush in her face was beginning to fade, and Lukas could see dark circles forming beneath her eyes. She over all looked tired and worn through.

"I need some air." Petra muttered beginning to turn away.

"Petra wait-" Lukas began, grabbing Petra by her hand to stop her.

Letting out an exclamation of pain, Petra torn her hand from Lukas's grasp. He took a startled step back, watching as Petra clutched her hand, teeth gritted.

"Petra? Are you alright?" Lukas asked.

"I'm fine." Petra growled.

"You're obviously not fine, you're hurt." Lukas said seriously.

He held out one hand, to which Petra gave him an uncertain look. He gave her an encouraging nod.

"If you got hurt in the battle, you don't have to keep it to yourself." Lukas said. "At least let me see what's wrong."

Petra sighed softly, looking down and closing her eyes. Then she extended her gloved hand to Lukas.

"I didn't hurt it in battle." She mumbled.

Lukas frowned, before carefully taking Petra's hand in his. Gently so he wouldn't hurt her any further, he pulled off the glove she wore. Lukas's eyes widened, gulping thickly at the gruesome burns that covered most of Petra's hand.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

"Jesse did." Petra's voice was only a whisper. "I talked to her yesterday night. She was upset, really upset and... I was just trying to make her feel better."

"She did this to you?" Lukas asked in horror.

"She didn't mean to." Petra said quickly, looking up at Lukas. "She didn't even know she was doing it, she... she has no control over these new powers."

"Look, Petra, I'm sorry." Lukas said seriously. "I think most of us aren't realising just how hard this is on you, especially. You were there after all."

"Save it." Petra mumbled softly.

"Listen, when was the last time you slept?" Lukas asked.

Petra sighed, closing her eyes and reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. She shrugged.

"I guess the night before Founding Day."

"How are you even standing right now?" Lukas asked, exasperated.

He took a step forward, resting both his hands on Petra's shoulders.

"I know you want to help Jesse, but you're not going to do anything if you start breaking down from exhaustion." Lukas said seriously, yet sympathetically. "Go get some rest, okay? Just a few hours at the least."

"Okay." Petra responded softly, before looking up at Lukas. "Just... keep an eye on Jesse, okay? I don't like admitting this, but the way she's changing...

It frightens me."

___

Fun fact! The time skip in this chapter officially marks the spot where I originally abandoned this story in 2019, before picking it up again in 2020! So expect the writing to be a little better from here on out!

Jesse's definitely not herself right now, but still it's hard to imagine how much further she'll go downhill from here... she's already hurt Petra once, and I think we all know worse is to come. The air is filled with tension between the members of the Order right now. There definitely are worse disagreements to come.

Also hey, Dani actually posting on time! Where's the champagne, let's celebrate!

Yup, small real life update, I've started my preliminary exams and have five more weeks of them ahead of me - While I don't have much energy left for writing, I'm definitely handling these better than my mid year exams! (For those who don't know, those led to a major burnout for me)

But, none of this should affect my schedule too much on here! Endless is completed, so as long as I remember to edit and post a chapter a week, it shouldn't be a problem!

Anyhow, I'll shut up now, and listen to any theories you guys may have after reading this chapter!

See you guys next week with Chapter 4, where emotions will be running wild...