Song: Dumbledore's Farewell (slowed and reverb version)
By: Nicholas Hooper (altered by JSA7)

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~Natsu~

It was too cold. In the vast darkness, there was nothing. Nothing to grab onto or catch me. I had the sense of falling, but it was endless. The landing never came, only falling. My bones, hollow and brittle, were shattered. Every ligament and muscle were shredded, and every last drop of blood spilled. I was broken. I was torn in half.

What happened? What did I do to deserve this? Am I in Hell? Was I that awful of a person to be punished this like?

I can't feel anything. Even with my body shattered there was no pain. There was no fear of this unknown place either. It was just empty. The emptiness in my hell and me. I should be scared. I wanted to be scared, but I didn't know why. What I wanted was to stop falling and then figure out why I ended up here. This place was too cold. . .was this it? Was this all I'm left with? What about my family? Can't I tell them goodbye before I fall for eternity? What about my closest friends?! What about the people I care for!? Don't I get to see my wife one last time! My wife. . .

My wife. . .Lucy.

It came back to me. The plan, the continuous battle against us, the Dragons, and my wife descending back down from her form. Lucy, she could be hurt, or she could be in trouble! I had to be there, I have to tell her I'm sorry for my arrogant words. I should've never told her I wouldn't forgive her. It was so stupid to say when I knew I didn't mean it. She gave us more time to figure out a way to defeat the Gods. Her eye, and her arm, she lost them. Igneel took her arm; my father that I said I couldn't fight against! Dammit! Lucy was bleeding when I caught her and she was too pale! Where is she?! Where is my Lucy!?

I should be scared and panicked, but I was still void of any feelings. I still kept plummeting into the shadows. I had to get back to her...I had to see Lucy. If I can see her, touch the softness of her cheek, kiss her sweet lips just once, then everything would be okay. Let me tell my wife one last time that I love her so much and I will willingly return to my hell. I'll suffer for the rest of time to just see the woman I love one more time. In the end, no one answered my pleas. Not the Gods. Not my Soul Connection. Nothing...

No one...

Then, a sudden brightness overhead suddenly appeared and grew brighter. A white light reached out to me, expanding its gentle rays over me until I heard a familiar voice call my name. "It's time to wake up Natsu. If you want to see her before it's too late you must get up." It was Solantir's voice that warned me. Too late? What did he mean too late? Is Lucy-...Is she succumbing to her wounds? She lost so much blood; the pain was fiercely overwhelming. "Wake up Natsu. Go to the cathedral. Remember to go to the cathedral when you return to EarthLand. I did what I could. I'm sorry. . ." Solantir's magic wrapped around my arms and then started to pull me back up. My mind was spiraling in different directions unsure what Solantir meant. I didn't know what to expect when I go back. How many perished? How many of my nakamas were wounded, or worse, dead? No, Fairy Tail is powerful. We have Lucy on our side! When we're back on our feet we'll figure everything out, together. Just like we always do. But, it didn't make sense. This. . .feeling. Why did I think I would be wrong? When I awaken it won't be easy to figure out. That we all won't be together in the end. . .

Why was I so hopeless?

~~~

"Nat-zu! Wake up-" The cry of my Exceed fell on deaf ears. The pain, that wasn't there before, had returned with vengeance. My arm and left eye screamed from the spasms of fire and ice all at once. I choked on my breath and fought to intake any air my lungs could carry. I'm sure I didn't look broken, but I felt broken. This must be the damage to Lucy affecting me. Why!? Why didn't I protect her!? Why did I idly stand aside and let her do what she did?! Anger came over me when I clenched my jaw.

I opened my right eye since my left eye's vision hadn't properly healed yet. The left side of my vision was distorted and gave off shades of maroon. I didn't even attempt to move my right arm in fear of the phantom pains. "H-Happy. . ?" My throat was dry whilst my Exceed was now yanking the collar of my vest. "Get up Natsu! Please you're the only one with wings fast enough to catch up with Lucy!"

"Lucy?" My head groggily moved back and forth. Nausea rolled into my stomach as did the headache that barraged my skull. "She-. . .isn't here?" I tried to sit up, but when I so much as moved I was out of breath. The pain escalated in my arm and eye for the attempt of sitting. I moaned out in my misery. "Nat-zu! Please get up! I'm scared! I'm scared for Lucy! She wasn't herself when she was leaving the Guild Hall! Nat-zu, she told me goodbye! Lucy never says goodbye! What is she gonna do!?" Happy cried out using all his strength to get me up. Despite the intensity of my invisible injuries, I listened to my small Exceed sob out to me. It wasn't the injuries Solantir warned me about. The Dragon said he did what he could and that he was sorry. He also said to go to the cathedral the moment I'm awake. Is that where she's going? Lucy. . .what are you doing?

"Happy, help me up."

"I'm trying!" Happy screamed. With the help of my wings, I managed to push myself up whereas Happy aided in pulling. I took a big gasp of air when I was finally sitting. My body began to tremble of how cold I was. "Where's my scarf?" I asked with my words slurred. Happy went to the bedside table and handed me the scarf that was stained. I recalled I used my scarf when Lucy had a nosebleed when we fortified ourselves beneath the Earth. "It's still dirty but it's here." I wrapped my scarf back around my neck already feeling warmth returning to me. "Okay. Let's go." I threw the covers off me and placed my bare feet on the ground. Happy was there every step of the way to help me stand and move; even for the minor steps with so much as helping me balance myself. My body was exhausted and ready to go back to sleep. "H-Haps. . ." I was about to fall over until Happy grabbed me behind where my collar was. "I'm gonna carry you Natsu. Where should we start looking first?" Happy and I ignored the healer's calling out to us as my Exceed flew down the stairs and out of the Guild Hall. "Go to the cathedral. She's there. I know she is."

"Are you sure?" Happy questioned already making our way there. I didn't have the energy to reply; all I could do was witness the horror that's happened to Magnolia while I've been unconscious. Everything was burned to ashes. The sky was smog with a spherical barrier of Lucy's making acting as our source of light. Remaining embers rained down from the blackened clouds, and the world was red and black. "Oh, Gods." It only came out a whisper, but due to the silence of the world I'm sure Happy could even hear me. "They did this. When you and Lu-shee were knocked out after you caught her it suddenly started to rain fire. Lots of people got hurt. . .and more were killed." I could feel my nausea grow worse. "Hurry Happy. We gotta get to Lucy."

"I'm trying to go as fast as I can but you're even heavier with the wings on your back!" Happy flew faster when he used Max Speed. The two of us flew over the destruction of Magnolia. It was all gone. The buildings, the markets, and the apartments too. All of the memories made and shared. . .gone. "Hurry Happy." I again said with more urgency. "We're almost there!" We reached the remains of the cathedral when Happy landed at the top staircase shortly after falling to the charred ground. "Happy! Hey, are you okay!"

"I'm fine. Just really, tired. Go on Nat-zu! I'm right behind you!" Happy struggled to even stand until he fell back down. I grimaced at my Exceed's state when I scooped him over my left shoulder to rest. "Let's go find Luce." It was excruciatingly painful to trudge forward on my bare feet. The ground was still hot from the flames. I was hardly mobile as I came to the entrance of the cathedral. Some beams had fallen through that were embrued of charcoal. I attempted with my left arm to move the beams, but could hardly push until my phantom pains erupted. I let out a shout before falling to my knees. There was a small opening that could peer inside but not enough for me to crawl. I rested my head sideways to see if I could see Lucy inside. I easily found her. . .but. . .

She wasn't alone.

I saw her right arm if I could even call it that, reaching above her to something that I could only describe as unnatural. The thing had no shape or even a form to make out. It was beautiful, no doubt, and yet seeing this thing somehow reach out to Lucy caused me to panic. "Luce! Lucy!!!" I placed Happy to lie his back on the wall of the cathedral and started to force my way under the gap. My wings fought against me when I managed to tuck one of the wings on the other side, but the other one flapped and wouldn't fold into my back. This made me grow more panicked when I realized I was stuck. "Dammit! Come on! COME ON!" I fought tooth and nail to get myself out of my plight. I cut my attention back to Lucy just when she said a word I have never heard. I didn't understand what had come out of her mouth; if it were a different language or diction. It didn't sound human or anything from this world.

Light emanated from Lucy. Her figure was surrounded by a light that was warm and comforting just by the sight. I was now afraid. "Why aren't you listening to me!? Look at me, Luce! LUCY!!!" To my wife, it was like I wasn't even here screaming at her. Nothing I screamed and begged caught her attention. The light expanded but still touched Lucy like it was clinging on for dear life. Tears were now falling down my face when the thing enclosed around my wife. "LUUUCY!!!" The light was released from my wife and flew over me and everything else. The world felt like it was tearing apart when the beams that stacked over me fell. I felt my back split in half from the pressure of the heavy beams that had fallen on top of me. I didn't hear a scream rip out of me. The last thing I could see until I fell under was my wife. . .who was in tears.

.
.
.
. Please. . .Live. . .
.
.
.

Hours could have passed and I wouldn't have noticed the difference. I couldn't move, see, or even breathe. The only reason why I knew I was alive was because of the tremendous pain that coursed over my upper body. There was also another area that felt broken, but I couldn't place where the inflicted part of my body was. I should be dead. The beams, I know fell on top of me. My body broke in half by the weight. In an attempt, I wiggled my toes and was surprised that I felt my toes moving. I wasn't dead, and I wasn't paralyzed. But when I went to move my back I saw stars from the burning pins and needles that dug into my back. "H-Help! I'm stuck!" When I opened my eyes I still saw darkness which meant I was trapped underneath the rubble of the cathedral. Only specks of light that peeked between the rocks and charred wood were my only source of light. Where was Happy? How long had I been unconscious? "Hello!? Please! Anyone?!"

No one called out to my cries.

I wanted to curl in a ball from the confusion and anger consuming me. I felt lost in the debris that crushed me; alone without anyone there to find me. I could only focus on my breaths that were too difficult to slow. The last thing I remember was trying to crawl my way into the cathedral. I got stuck but could still see Lucy. She was talking to that thing and...and it all goes black from there. The only other memory I could recall was an intense light that was warm to my soul, and after that, only darkness. Why isn't Lucy calling out to me either? She was right in front of me! She was so close I could almost touch her from where she sat! Is she also unconscious? Did her wounds somehow grow worse?! All these questions that I can't get an answer to!

I tried to call through our Connection to see how Lucy's condition was. . .but I couldn't find it. The Connection, the emotions we both shared, the sense of never being alone! It was gone! What happened to the Souls Connection!? "Lucy!?"

There was a muffled shout within the outside of the debris. Moments later I heard scuffling and rocks falling from the cluttered scrap of the building. The outside light lit up my hole until I felt a cold breeze hit my face. Everything happened so fast. A pair of hands clasped my torso before pulling me up despite my tormenting cries. "Oh, Gods! His wings are damaged! Wendy, get over here quick!" I felt more hands gently getting the remainder of my wings out from the rubble as it clicked in. It wasn't my back that got damaged. It was my wings. Gray, the one that pulled me out, helped me lie down on my stomach again just as Wendy arrived. "Don't touch his wings! This is worse than when Lucy's wings were whipped. Oh Natsu, just hang in there alright?"

"Do what you have to Wendy. Happy you're a life-saver for leading us here. You said Lucy was here also?" Gray asked just as my vision began to fix itself. Gray kneeled next to my side as Happy held my head with teary eyes. "I-I think so! I heard Nat-zu screaming her name. Do you think she-"

"We won't know until we find her." Gray finished before Happy could say his question. "Look around to see if you can find her! The remains of the cathedral looked like it was toppled by a landslide. Try to work fast everyone!" Gray announced just as he checked on me again. "Natsu, hey, come on talk to me! I didn't run all the way out here to find you half-dead, alright?" Wendy's magic streamed through my wings. I felt the magic find the shattered bones and ligaments that tethered the muscles between my wings and back. "They're. . .shattered. I can't heal his wings all at once! There's too much damage and I'm already out of magic as it is. I can try to numb the pain, but please, don't try to move Natsu-san." The pain did melt away slowly until all that was left was a terrible ache between my shoulder blades. I have to thank the Balance for giving me wings or else I'd have squashed to death. "I'm better. Thanks, Wendy." I sat up to observe the surroundings of the church. Gray wasn't lying when he said it appeared like a landslide came through because what was left of the structure was all gone. Veda, Avery, Gawen, and Gray moved large rocks out of the way to find where Lucy could be. Happy did his best in picking up the smaller rocks and wood until he grew too tired. When I was about to stand and help Wendy pushed me to keep sitting. "You're in no condition to move. Stay there and I'll help." Wendy stood up and began helping with the small search. "Where's everyone else?" I asked.

Gray tensed up whilst still moving rubble. "The majority didn't want to come. Fairy Tail was helping around the Guild after the light washed over. It's been chaotic since then." No one but these five people and Exceed decided to come to help us. It showed me how faithful any of them were to my wife. They were all cowards and liars. Veda moved a stone out of the way when she froze. The woman was simply staring, almost admiring what she was seeing until she blinked. "I...I found her."

My heart fell.

"You did!? Is she alright?!" Gray moved to Veda so he could see Lucy's condition when he also froze. All of them eventually went to investigate when they just froze. "What is it? Is she alright!?" I asked loudly with my fists clenched. Gray's eyes fell to his knees when out of nowhere he punched a rock until it shattered in half. "Dammit! DAMMIT LUCY!" Gray shouted. Veda fell into Gawen's chest hiding her face as Wendy held a helpless expression. Happy had tears once more falling down his face. "I thought-. . .She promised us! Lucy, you liar!"

My worst fear came to life.

The Souls Connection, the loneliness, the heartbreak. It came. The aching hole that engulfed me. That's when I knew I should've never said what I told to Lucy. I told her I'd never forgive her, that even if she fell to her knees begging, I would never consider forgiving her. But she promised to not be a hero. . .She told me over and over again she couldn't die. I thought we had an eternity together. I only said that because when it was over I would apologize. . .I would have fallen on my knees and begged for forgiveness. She knew that right? Did she know I still loved her?
"NO!" I screamed with both hands over my head. Not loved! I still love her! Lucy probably did this self-sacrifice thing so she could bring everyone back again. . .and she'll come back again. She did it once right!? She can do it again! "Natsu..." Someone set their hand on my shoulder, but I couldn't even see who it was. My vision was too dark to find who was in front of me. "Lucy, she. . .she's gone." My insides throbbed. My throat knotted up like an old root I was incapable of even breathing. "Sh-She can come back. . ." I said breathlessly. The person was now hugging me; wrapping me in a sheet of ice. "No. She can't Natsu. Lucy. . .she's made of stone. There is no body. She's like a statue." I repeatedly shook my head.

I was going to apologize. We were going to start a family after this. We were going to live eternity together. Why am I feeling this?! I should be a Half-Soul! I shouldn't feel this internal pain! "Am I breathing?" I asked to which I held my chest. My heart was beating far too fast. I couldn't catch my breath. My head was starting to become dizzy. "Deep breaths Natsu. Take deep breaths."

I should have hugged her tighter. I should have held her a little bit longer.

"Luce. . ?" I stood up and started to walk to where everyone stood. They didn't say a word but backed away so I can look at what they meant. Only part of her was out of the rubble; so I started to move the remains to see her fully. "Let's help him," Veda ordered as she helped move more rocks and scorched wood out from beneath my wife. Gawen, Wendy, Gray, and Happy followed suit as we all worked together until there was nothing left. We even cleared the floor around her. I fell to my knees in front of the sword that Lucy leaned against. The left side of her face couldn't be seen due to the hair that had curtained over it, but her right side was seen. Her eye was closed with a glowing tear of silver and gold light emitted from the tear. Lucy's smooth skin was glistening white marble apart from her right disfigured arm which was a sickly grey marble. Her angelic wings had folded close to her back as the rest lay down on the ground like a wedding train. She wore her Goddess gown that made her appear to be wrapped in satin with the chest armor. I couldn't help but caress her marbled cheek and felt a jolting sting in my hand from how cold she was. What broke me. . .was her smile.

In the end, she still wore a smile.

"Why did you do it? You promised me. Why? Why did you break it?" Lucy could never answer my question. She wasn't here. My wife is gone. "No..." I didn't fight against my heart-gutting sobs. If I was a Half-Soul then my loss wouldn't hurt this bad. More than ever did I not want to have a soul. I didn't want to be consumed by the grief that swallowed me whole. I had become a prisoner with no hope of fighting against the darkness wrapped all around me. The world just seemed to melt away as I could only hold onto the remains of my wife. For once, I felt like I was freezing. My scarf, still covered in her blood, couldn't bring me the warmth I desperately needed. "How can I live, let alone breathe, when you're not here?" My head rested on the side of her face. This was as close as I could get to her. This is all I had left. All but the grief that bound itself to me for life. For whatever little life I had left...

In exchange for loving Lucy, I would have to live in misery.

~~~~~

Time moved fast and slow all at once. I don't remember being taken back to the guild. I don't remember how I fell asleep despite the ceaseless crying I did. I recalled the sounds of cheering and crying. There was a distinct cry amid the happy chaos, one that came from a baby. I knew Erza and the baby died in childbirth, but after...my wife sacrificed her life, everyone came back. There were only ten thousand soldiers when I first woke up to find Lucy, but now, they had all returned. In the end, there was only one causality at the end of the war.

I don't think the majority knew how the dead came back to life. They were all too happy about our victory. How could they be happy!? In exchange for their lives, I lost my wife! Fairy Tail and the other guilds were the only ones to mourn during the celebration. I did remember seeing most of the mages that knew me and Lucy look at me with pity. Fairy Tail and I are the only ones to lose someone. We lost the warmth of the sun, and the stars in the sky. I lost my hope in having a future. I lost a part of me I thought would never be taken.

Days passed as everyone sorted out the damage to the city. After the first day, everything that was burned and destroyed had been restored by nature. Trees came back, as did the grass and a blue sky. There were even strange flowers that erupted around the cathedral where she was. It was a lily that had shades of red and yellow petals. They appeared like the lilies from Aria but took more of Lucy's persona. The flowers had a unique scent, a faint smell of vanilla and strawberries. Her last gift to the world was her lilies. We found not only the lilies but also the Dragons and Guardians. The Shadowlings had returned to their home Realm leaving only the remaining armies. The Dragons also changed from the light as they weren't even Dragons anymore. They had humanoid bodies with horns and some scales on their bodies. They awoke in disarray from the changes in their body and needed time to adjust. I found Igneel as he had my sun-kissed tone skin. His horns were large on his head and almost appeared like a crown with flaming red hair and beaming yellow slit irises. I didn't have any energy to speak to him even when he tried to talk to me. I couldn't shake off the memory of him hurting Lucy. I wasn't even sure if I could forgive him even if he was possessed. The Guardians of Light no longer had a Light Goddess to protect or a city to safeguard. Sterling, overwhelmed by the guilt for all he has done since Aria, declared they would keep the remains of Lucy safe and place her in a mausoleum dedicated to her. I told Sterling to keep her in Magnolia and close to the guild; that it would be what she wanted.

Erza and the baby were healthy and lively. Jellal, who was mourning, had never been so protective until his small family returned from the dead. He ordered his wife to stay in bed with their baby girl and made sure Erza was resting. The baby was happy and full of life. I spent time in the infirmary for the majority of Magnolia being cleaned up and reorganized so I was around Erza and her baby. Erza knew what happened from the moment she awoke. She told me what she mostly remembered from the gruesome childbirth and even holding her stillborn child. Then, all Erza could recall afterward, was coldness. "It felt like I was locked in a dark, cold room. I was scared not because of where I was, but because I couldn't find Layla."

"Layla?" My heart throbbed by the name. It was too close to my wife's name. The mention of Layla almost made me break all over again. Erza held her swaddled baby closer to her. "Jellal and I wanted to name our daughter after Lucy. I thought using her name would be...too much. So, we decided on her mother's name: Layla." The ache grew worse. "It's. . ." I wanted to compliment Erza and Jellal for honoring Lucy, but it was too soon. I just shook my head and turned over so my nakama wouldn't see me cry again. I've never cried so much in my life. What hurt even worse was when I learned what day Lucy died. The day of our six-month anniversary when we married, May 8th.

I held onto my wedding band never even considering taking it off my ring finger.

Two weeks later we received an invitation to Crocus by none other than the Council and King himself. By then the Celestial Spirits had already gone back to their Realm, construction started to bring Magnolia back to normal, the Dragons had taken refuge in the outskirts of the city, and the Guardians of Light moved the remains of Lucy into her mausoleum with two soldiers at the post in the entrance. Whilst most of the guilds that arrived decided to stay to celebrate the war's victory in Crocus, a few other guilds had left after one week. Nari and her followers were the first to depart after they thanked me for my wife's selfless sacrifice. I don't know why they thanked me. So many people thanked me in Lucy's place; all the more to remind me of the internal pain in my chest. Everyone said so many things it just all began to sound the same.

"We're so sorry for your loss...She was a true hero...Your wife saved us...She's in a better place...I wish I could have personally thanked her..."

I hated listening to it over, and over again.

Wendy still came to the infirmary to check my progress in getting better. Most of the physical wounds on my body had long healed at an incredible rate, whereas my wings were still broken from the rubble nearly crushing me. Wendy and Cheila did the best they could. As did Santos. Even Porlyusica and the Giver did everything in their power to help my wings. Nothing worked after two weeks of lying in bed. I didn't care if my wings never healed properly or not at all. The physical damage somehow numbed the hole in my chest even if it was unbearable. The pain of my wings helped, so I didn't put up a fight when Wendy told me there wasn't much they can do. Veda visited me often when it ended up being me in the infirmary. Erza and Layla were well enough to be dismissed from the infirmary, which left me all alone. Veda was comforting with just her presence. She would talk about her adventures while I would listen, and other times she asked me about my stories. It was hard to talk about my adventures. . .

"The sky at night in Stella is clearer than any place on EarthLand. Sometimes, I can hear the moon whisper if I sit very still and not say a word." Veda said with her grey irises shining. "The moon speaks tales of its own. The tale of the Dragons' War against mankind. It whispered the tale about the birth of magic. The moon was always there, watching."

"Will it know this one too?" I asked. Veda stared into my eyes as she nodded. "I believe it will. Though we don't see it, the moon is always in the sky. It knows everyone's story from birth until death. I'm sure it will know Lucy's story as well." My breath hitched from Lucy's name. "Why did she leave me, Veda? Why would she choose the world over me?" Veda's eyes fell. "I can't speak for the dead, Natsu Dragneel. I can tell you what I've seen between you two as a third party. I can see things and hear things most people just glance over. In her eyes, you were her entire world. She didn't just want to save the world, but I believe in my heart she also wanted to save her world as well."

Veda's heart may be in the right place, but it didn't matter what she said. I'll always believe that Lucy chose everyone else rather than a life together.

The next day a train came to take us to Crocus. All the guilds packed in the train carts, including Fairy Tail to go to the capital and properly celebrate. Though my condition was still severe I decided to go. The King sent a personal letter to me asking, if not pleading, for me to join in Lucy's honor. I hated every second of the ride to Crocus. Not just from the motion sickness but of the fact Lucy should be here. The kingdom wanted to award me for Lucy's sacrifice. I had no say in her decision. For Gods sake, I was unconscious when she made that damn decision. Why they wanted me to come I'll never understand. I was a widower in mourning. Nothing about this made me happy. "Hey, Natsu." I was surprised when I heard Levy's voice next to me. When did she get here?

"I'm sorry. I should have come to the infirmary the first day since...everything happened. I just-...I knew too when I woke up." Levy bit her lower lip in an attempt to cease her tears. My heart ached in pain once more thinking about what Levy meant. "If you remember, Lu-chan gave me a piece of the Darkness over a year ago. It always made me feel something whenever it came to Lu-chan. But when I woke up, I didn't feel anything in the connection anymore. When I tried to change to my Dark Knight form, I couldn't. To a very small degree, I know what you must be going through. Losing a Souls Connection is no easy matter-"

"Stop, Levy. Please." I couldn't listen anymore. I cried last night. I cried this morning. I didn't want to cry right now about the loss of my Souls Connection. "I understand what you're trying to say. But please, don't say another word about it." It was the best I could do to be polite. Levy nodded solemnly until she got up to return to her seat. After two weeks of faceless people coming up to me, I just wanted to be alone for a change. I didn't see their condolence comforting or contributing. It was insulting and a pitiful excuse for an apology. I knew how they acted when Lucy left for the cathedral. I know exactly how they thought of my wife until she brought the dead back. In the end, they were just as selfish as I am. I would rather be dead than live in this agony.

When we arrived in Crocus massive crowds surrounded the train station all from where the castle stood. Thousands upon thousands of people cheered and celebrated by throwing flower petals all around us. The sun shined over us, the sky was crystal blue, and the people of EarthLand had every right to be happy. Everyone but me. My guild was the first to walk out of the station to walk the opened path with each side of the road holding countless citizens. People from Crocus and Magnolia cried our guild name. . .and Lucy's name. Gray, who was next to me, patted my shoulder until we all began to walk in a group. My eyes were downcast to my feet through the entire parade to the castle where the Magic Council and His Majesty waited for us. The crowd of people sang and cheered my wife's name; each time her name rang caused the ache to grow worse. I could barely keep myself together at this point. All I wanted was to go to my empty home and mourn. My Exceed flew next to me. "Nat-zu?" Happy asked worryingly. "Leave me alone, Happy." I snapped now clenching my jaw.

I hate all of this. I grudge the fact everyone can see me like this. When could I be alone!? All I wanted was to just be left alone!

I murmured angrily. "None of these people knew Lucy, and yet here they are singing her name when they despised her just two weeks ago! It's sickening to listen to." My fists curled tighter that my knuckles turned white. I was close to breaking apart right here. I knew I should've rejected the King's invitation the second I saw it. What was the point in me being here!? Why was I even here and Lucy wasn't!? It wasn't fair! None of it! "It's okay Natsu." Soft hands wrapped around my left hand when I heard MiraJane's voice. "It's okay to be sad even here. We miss her too." When I turned to look at Mira she was crying. I glanced at all of my comrades and saw tears or disheartened expressions. None of them were happy either. I looked back to where Mira was. "I don't want to be here," I whispered to the Transformation Mage. Mira shook her head. "I know you don't. You're here for her. We all know you're doing this for Lucy, that's why we came. We're all here to support you every step of the way." Mira squeezed my hand in assurance. They were here...for me?

Against my wish tears fell down my face again. If only the sky would cry for me...

~~~~~

"The Heroes of EarthLand! Please, step forth!" We were inside the castle standing before King Toma and his daughter Princess Hisui. The Council members stood at the bottom of the stairway to the throne each of them holding gifts for the Guilds. His Highness clapped his hands joyfully smiling as he stood. "Each and every one of you had your part in the war. If it weren't for your valiant efforts none of us would be here speaking today. The EarthLand Realm can never give enough thanks to the Army of EarthLand and the wizards that volunteered in their effort." Monica stepped forward holding a small chest when she came to Fairy Tail first. "This chest holds Fiore's most valuable gems that His Highness and Majesty have only ever laid eyes on. They are priceless and a gift to the Royal Family." Monica bowed her head to me and then handed the chest to Gramps that stood on my right. The other Council Members went to each Guild that had their gift from the Royal Family. Some were heirlooms from the first King of Fiore and others were handed books of Forgotten Spells.

King Toma raised his hand to silence the room after the first exchange was finished. "I am also aware of the destruction and deaths that occurred...however," His Majesty locked eyes on me. "due to a heroic sacrifice every life, but one, was saved. I have spoken with the Magic Council and foreign leaders, and we have come to an agreement. Lucy Heartfilia shall be known from now till the end of ages as the Savior of the Realms! We will celebrate what she has done for the EarthLand children! From this day forth, from May 8th to May 15th shall be the anniversary of Lucy Heartfilia's memory! A reminder for humans of the second chance that she has given us. Lucy Heartfilia will never be forgotten throughout the EarthLand Realm! Her name will be sung and her story will be told!" Claps went all around as a way of courtesy. I, on the other hand, was frozen in place. So this is why I was begged to come here. They wanted me to hear this mockery. An entire week of celebrating my dead wife's 'memory.' It made me sick. It made me angry.

"Natsu Dragneel, the reason why I asked you here was to not only hear the news of our new traditions but to also ask if you will play a part in this." His Highness beckoned me to come forward to the throne. Unwillingly, I proceeded to walk until the Council moved to where it was just me in the center of the open floor. "Monica has spoken highly of your bravery and the bond between your kinsmen. If you will agree, Monica will step down and you shall be given the title of First Rank. You will be able to make more changes in your late wife's honor. I ask you, Natsu Dragneel if you will accept my offer?" There were many gasps from the offer I was given. First Rank in the Magic Council. The ability to bring more good into the world and prevent the corruption Lucy had dissolved. But, the offer wouldn't bring Lucy back. In the end, my wife was still dead.

"No." I answered with an angering snarl. The gasp came again, this time from everyone, upon hearing my answer. "You may be thankful that Lucy is dead, but I sure as hell am not! Her memory?! Her honor?! When has any of you ever honored Lucy when she was alive!? Why celebrate her sacrifice and honor now when she had to give her life for the selfishness of the living!? You and everyone else lost nothing in the aftermath. I...lost everything." My muscles were tense until I turn my back to the King. "Don't ask me again to join that ridiculous club of theirs. After what they did to Lucy, and what they kept doing to her when she wasn't even a criminal, it's unforgivable!"

I made my point when I walked myself out of the castle in the stunned silence of the wizards and Royalty. My heart could no longer take any of it. I knew I was falling to pieces when I was outside and fell to my knees. My right arm and left eye flared up from the sudden phantom pains as did my wings. All that remained of me was the result of this war. The only person I gave my heart and soul to took them with her. Wherever she could be... "Luce..." I wrapped my arms around my torso. I couldn't hold myself any longer. At this very moment, I just wanted it all to end. I want everything to stop.

"Please Lucy, please don't leave me alone. I can't do this. I can't live like this..."

"Why are you outside Natsu Dragneel?" The Giver surprised me with her presence. The old humped-back woman was sitting next to me her sown eyes watching me. I didn't question the old woman how she did it; she was always a strange lady. "Giver, why am I not a Half-Soul? Why did she do it?" If I knew anyone that had actual answers it was the Giver. The old lady faced forward until she let out a gentle sigh. "I promised her to tell you everything when she was gone. So, I will tell you." For once I was able to focus. I listened to the point I thought I'd become deaf.

"She died to save the Realms. In the final hour, Lucy saved every living being, including the Gods and very Cosmos. The Gods were trying to prevent the downfall of the Cosmos by killing the source. Lucy's existence tipped the scales of order and chaos, and chaos was winning. Not only her existence, but her heart was never her's when Hades bestowed it to her. Your wife held the Cosmos Heart, and it was time to return the heart to the Cosmos. She gave her life valiantly, Natsu. Despite how scared she was in the end Lucy wanted to give life a second chance. She gave not only the living but the Godly Deities another chance."

"I want to say what she did was selfish, but I would be wrong. She did all of this to save us. But, she left without saying anything! My last words to her were that I'd never forgive her. I should have never said that to Lucy. Why even in the end she wouldn't even care to talk to me!?"

"You would have stopped her." The Giver said. Once again my jaw and fists clenched. "I would have. She knew I would have stopped her." The Giver looked away this time. "If you were awake, you would have." The old lady whispered. I heard her even underneath her breath. "What do you mean?"

"You were asleep when Lucy came to. She wanted to see you while you were unconscious. I stopped her from seeing you." Something snapped. At that moment there was a loud ringing in my ears from what the old woman said. The Giver stopped my wife from seeing me!? "What!?" I yelled shaking at this point. The Giver didn't dare to turn her head to me. "I lied. I told Lucy she would change her mind if she saw you, but it was a lie. If you had heard her voice or felt her touch, you would have woken up. You would have stopped her if I allowed her to see you. We would all be dead right now. She wanted to save you and the Cosmos!"

The phantom pain flared in agony. I held the left side of my face beginning to hyperventilate upon hearing what the Giver said. She was the one to seal Lucy's death. She was the one that allowed the war to end this way! "My wife is dead! She's gone and I don't have another chance to see her again! You stole my only chance to stop her! She wanted a life! A life with me and our future family! AND YOU STOLE THAT!" I felt like I'd been gutted. The world collapsed all around me. How could a feeling like this grow stronger every day? Had grief always been a companion of love? Why is love this painful? Lucy and I had our ups and downs, our bickering moments, and even full-on fights. Even after all of that we still loved each other. It always worked out. It somehow worked out...why couldn't this one fight work out in the end either? I fell to my knees again incapable of keeping my cries in. I couldn't take it anymore...I wanted it all to end...

"Then go find her."

A hitched gasp came out. What did she say? "What do you mean?" I asked. I managed to stare at the Giver through my good eye when the old lady finally returned her eyes to me. "She wasn't worthy of Heaven or Hell. Her soul is lost in the Abyss, trapped, and wandering until she is erased. You have Solantir, the power to travel between your Realm and the Fifth Realm. Travel through the Abyss, and find her to apologize..." I...I could find her? Lucy wasn't in Heaven or Hell but trapped in an endless void. Her soul is there. Could she be waiting for me? But how could I even find her!? The Abyss is an infinite space! "Would that even work?! How could I possibly find her soul in the Abyss!? It's an endless void!" The Giver then did something that shocked me. On her old, leathered face I watched her lips trail up to a smile. Her head slightly tilted when she spoke. "When has something like that ever stopped you from saving her?"

For the first time in two weeks, I felt a spark of hope. I've saved Lucy once in the Abyss. It could have been sheer luck, but my heart says otherwise. I knew Lucy made intricate plans on a whim and prayer so maybe, just maybe, this wasn't a coincidence. I had a possible chance to find her and apologize. No, not only apologize. "I'm gonna find Luce...and bring her back." I punched my hands together with a determined expression. "Let this be a promise to Lucy! I won't stop looking no matter how long it takes! Until I bring her back or my last breath I'll find a way! That's my promise!"

'You saved us from being erased. Now, it's my turn to save you.'

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Wowzers what a long chapter. We're very close to the ending my Lovelies. Will Natsu keep his promise, or will he be too late? Hang in there my Lovelies, the story is about to conclude.

As always...love you all!❤️