Song: Gone
      By: Jurrivh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Lucy~

"Damn the Gods!" I yelled shattering a rotted table. I was currently in the Midnight Realm discussing unknown sicknesses to my pets that serve me as their Dark One. "I need information on Zelroath's plagues this instant! Did he ever keep any manuscripts or notes on any of his sicknesses?" A great Shadowling shook its head at me. "No, my Mistress. Our Master before was an expert that didn't need remarks or documents to help him recall any of his plagues. All he needed were his victims for testing." I moved across the room before leaning on the wall.

I've been frantically searching for any clues on how to save Adroath. The sickness he holds is unknown and forgotten meaning there is no cure to help my friend. Not only have I been trying to find an antidote, but I've also been scouring to discover a way to break mine and Natsu's Soul Connection. There has been little luck in my search for anything the past two months, and it's costing my time being with Natsu. It was supposed to be a relaxing break for us when we came to Aria, however, fate has a way to bend me into its will. With me focusing on a remedy for Adroath and our Soul Connection, I can feel Natsu being consumed in confusion and loneliness. Yet I had to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for him. I have to sever the Connection so Natsu will be free from the curse and from me. "You're doing this for him. You're doing this for him..."

"Mistress," The Shadowling spoke breaking my concentration. "What?" The beast's head bent lowly to the ground. "We've scavenged the ruins of this castle, but there is nothing. We have only found the plagues the previous Master used." I took in a sharp breath. Was there any hope of saving my old friend? "That will be all. You're excused." When the Shadowling left I fell to the ground. Whimpers crept out of me and before I could stop myself I was beginning to cry. I've cried so much these past two months I'm no longer affected by the stinging sensation anymore when I shed blood-stained tears. There was nothing for me here just like StarLight and the Fifth Realm. The Celestial Realm didn't have any answers after I spoke to Crux for clues. There was nothing he had to offer me. All that was left was EarthLand. The last time I was in EarthLand was a couple of days ago to see the progress on Adroath. He wasn't getting any better, but from what I was told Natsu has been with him in my absence. Not only that, but that was the last time I spoke to Natsu as well.

"I have to see him. I need to apologize for all of this. Natsu doesn't deserve being kept hidden in the dark! But what choice do I have? There's nothing I can do to explain how this happened and if there's even a way to fix this! And yet, I can feel his suffering. He not only yearns to be with me but I too want to be with him as well. Gods, I miss him so much it's killing me!" But it was not love that made me want to be beside Natsu at that moment. I had to remind myself it was only the Souls Connection that made Natsu and I feel this way. Without the Connection then we would be fine...he would be fine. "It's time I go back to EarthLand for the time being. After a day's rest and talking with Natsu, I will continue my search." I forced the veins of the Dark One back into hiding while calling a portal to take me back to Aria.

When I passed through the portal I was met with the sun setting down upon the lilies of Aria. The familiar white petals that glittered gold when the ray of the light hits it. After the portal vanished I sat myself down in the field of flowers. Very soon, the guild will be arriving for Erza and Jellal's wedding. Though I haven't written back to anyone I have read the letters. Erza gave me more finite details to help prepare me for the wedding ideas that she and Jellal wished for. But because of everything I have yet to get started on the wedding plans even though I promised Erza everything would be ready. All I could hope was that she would understand my reason for starting so late.

My hands caressed one of the flower petals of a lily as the wind grazed over the field. With me no longer in my Dark One attire, I was now wearing dark blue jeans with a white oversized sweater. My keys were at my side on my hip, and instead of boots, I decided to wear white slip-on sneakers that we're made for being on your feet for a while. The weather was growing colder now that summer has passed. Shivers danced down my arms which caused me to tremble in my baggy sweater. I was beginning to consider Erza's wedding to be indoors, but the lovebirds insist to take their vows outside as the sun would set down before them. Erza was a cheesy romantic, but at least she will be happy on her big day.

I missed my guildmates so much. I missed when Levy and I would talk about books for hours, and little Wendy and Carla just discussing what our next mission would be with the team. I wanted to watch Gray and Natsu brawl until they brought the roof down because of their constant fights. Not only that but to see Erza's eyes sparkle with joy at the sight of strawberry shortcake. All I really wanted now was for everything to go back to normal. Before the first nightmare, or even when I found out about being the Light Goddess and Dark One. I just want to be Lucy of Fairy Tail. Nothing else...

"Lucy?" My heartbeat quickened at the abrupt voice. I turned my head around only to face Natsu with his hands in his pockets. A sigh escaped me. "Natsu," I said in return. For a couple of minutes, we just stared into each other's eyes. Not only could I read the emotions in Natsu's irises, but I could also feel them as well.

'Why is she so torn? How can I help her feel better? Please talk to me, Luce. I love you more than life. I missed you so much...'

He was worried about me. When I knew he needed to talk to me, Natsu still wanted to make sure I was okay first. He always put everyone first before himself. He was so selfless and kindhearted I just wanted to hold him forever. "How have you been?" I asked pulling myself to stand. Natsu shrugged his shoulders while pulling his right hand out of his pocket to rub his neck. "I've been alright. I could have slept longer, but I find it hard to sleep without you by my side."

I'm so sorry Natsu...the Souls Connection is making you lose sleep. Our Connection is forcing you to feel this way when in reality you would be fine. "I haven't been sleeping well either. You're usually right beside me as my personal heater that I can easily find shuteye. I've just been so attentive to Adroath to find a cure for him. I have to save him Natsu." For a moment I could only hear the wind caress over me. Natsu stood in silence only closing his eyes until he released his breath. "Lucy, we need to talk."

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. I suddenly felt sick that I almost lost my balance to stand. Natsu held his stomach as well feeling what I felt at that moment. He closed his eyes, concentrating on not falling to his knees like I am doing. All I could do was nod in reply. We both sat next to each other staring into the Forbidden Woods that were now safe to pass through. My hand went to pick a lily, but Natsu grabbed my hand before I could touch the flower. "I haven't seen you in days, Luce. I know you're trying to find some way to save Adroath, but you haven't been able to discover anything. Lucy, you're fighting against the inevitable." I pulled my hand away. "How could you say that? Natsu he's my friend how can I idly stand by and watch him die?! I know there's a way I just need to find it! I only need more time!"

"More time for what? Lucy, the only thing Adroath needs now is you at his side. He's sick, Lucy, and he's dying." My lips trembled as the pain in my chest grew worse. "I won't accept it. Adroath will live dammit!" Natsu reached his hand out to touch my shoulder. But I did something I would never expect from me. I slapped his hand away from me. "Don't you even think of touching me right now." I muttered as I could feel tears stinging my eyes. Natsu's sudden emotion felt like a knife gutting me.

'Please don't do this Lucy. That old man needs you. Don't abandon him. Don't abandon me...'

"If I have to anchor my soul to Adroath so be it! I am not losing another person Natsu! I don't want your pity, and I don't want your solace right now." The tears of blood released when they descended down my cheeks. I pulled myself to stand up and walk away until Natsu clasped his hand around my wrist. "You think I'm pitying you? For the Gods sake Lucy I'm worried about you! You never talk to me anymore! You shut me out and you're keeping secrets from me! You haven't told me that you're traveling through the Five Realms. When could you do that? When were you going to tell me?! Dammit, Lucy, we're supposed to be a team! How can we be a team if you exclude everything from me?!" Natsu was now standing. His onyx eyes were strained as he clenched his jaw. "You don't trust me enough to tell me your secrets. What is happening to you? Did I do something to upset you? Are you so keen on trying to save Adroath that you don't realize you're hurting him in the process?!"

"I'm not hurting him Natsu I am trying to save his life!" Natsu let go of my wrist to move his hand into his pocket. "Explain this!" He pulled a small cloth that was red and white. When Natsu opened his palm I saw a handkerchief, but it was red because of blood. This...was Adroath's blood. I swallowed my throat to relieve the knot, but it only grew worse. "I-..." My voice cracked. Natsu used his other hand to grab mine and place Adroath's handkerchief in my palm. "Are you really saving him, Lucy? Or are you running away to face the truth?" My hand was shaking at the sight of the handkerchief. I was speechless. "Sweetheart...you can't save him. Adroath knows he can't be saved. He's accepted it." My head was shaking in refusal. "No. No Adroath wouldn't do that! He can't leave me!"

Natsu begged. "Lucy please," He began taking small steps to me. "you will only make this worse for yourself. You have to come to terms that it's too late. He's been sick Luce, but his immortality only halted the plague from killing him. A cure has never been formed, so the possibility of you finding one is near impossible. You can't deny Adroath's wish any longer. No more denial Lucy." Natsu's arms pulled me into a hug as I only stared into the handkerchief. Other than Gray, Adroath was the only person I trusted with the truth. He said he would help me. How can I accept his wish to pass away?  "Adroath...please I can't do it again! I can't bury another friend! I don't want to watch him die!" Clutching the handkerchief I enveloped myself into Natsu. He was the only support I had left. Though I preferred to ignore my soulmate's words he was right. I've been playing a fool's game without question. If anything I just wanted to reject Adroath's health. I said I was looking for a cure when in reality I was just afraid.

I'm going to lose Adroath.

"Please Natsu, don't make me go back to him! Don't let me have to watch him pass away!" I sobbed staining Natsu's white shirt with my red-colored tears. The handkerchief fell from my hand so I could clutch Natsu's shirt. My soulmate quietly shushed me, caressing my head gently placing his forehead on mine. "His last wish is for us to be with him. He doesn't want to leave without saying goodbye..." A grueling gasp departed me. My heart couldn't bear this anymore. Every fiber of me wanted to scream and just curl up in a dark room to be left alone. The cold, hard truth was slung at me in the worst possible way. I didn't want to return to Adroath because I knew it would be my last time speaking to him. It would only be one more time I hear his kind, gentle voice speak to me like I'm his daughter. I wasn't ready to let that go yet. "I can't do it. I'm not ready to say goodbye..."

"He needs you, Luce. Adroath needs his Light Goddess. Let him be with you for his final moments so he can be happy. I'll be right beside you the entire time. I won't let you grieve alone." Natsu hugged me tighter. "I care for him too, Lucy. That old man treated me like I was his child. I'm going to miss him so much it pains me at the thought of him leaving. I don't want him to go either, but he needs to rest. Adroath will no longer be in pain and he can be with Seraphina and Talon. This is what he wants." A hiccup broke out of me. "But I don't want this. I want Adroath to stay..." Natsu sniffed away tears to halt them from falling. "That isn't your decision to make. I'm so sorry..." Once again, I must lose another loved one. Do the Gods truly hate me so much that they have to take everyone away from me? What did I do to deserve this? Why must everyone around me suffer? "Don't leave me when he passes. Just stay with me until it ends." I begged putting all my weight into Natsu's arms. He held me close to his chest never letting me fall. "I will never leave you, Lucy. Even if EarthLand falls, I will always be at your side."

'You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, Natsu.'

"I'm ready to see him...one more time." No, I wasn't ready for it to end so soon. But I can't deny the inevitable. Adroath will leave me just as everyone else will. All in a matter of time I will be alone for all eternity. The Gods certainly despise me. "Take me to Adroath."

So I can goodbye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always, love you all.❤️