~Natsu~

It wasn't easy as I hoped for. When I returned from StarLight I thought my body was mangled from traversing from one realm to another. My limbs were too heavy for me to pick up. Even my heart was straining against the constant tension on pumping blood throughout my veins. I wasn't even sure I made it across StarLight to reach EarthLand. All I could see was a dark void since my eyelids were too burdened to staying open. The world itself seemed like it was resting on my chest.

I could suddenly feel the sensation of grass underneath my hands. The ground was soft after what must have been a rain shower that came through. If I'm outside, then I must have just tumbled through the gateway to EarthLand realm without much attention. I thought I was thinking about the Guild Hall, but I wasn't there. Where in Mavis am I if I didn't think of going back to Fairy Tail? My body shifted until I sat back up. It was broad daylight with very little trees standing in a field of barley. A town was only a few minutes' walk when I unconsciously stood on my own two feet. I wasn't willing myself to move. I was just...moving. I tried to force myself to see where I was, but my body wouldn't have it. It was beginning to walk in the opposite direction of where the village was when I was walking towards a barren forest. Where was I taking myself? I kept walking or slumping as if I had very poor posture to wherever I was going. Even when I fought against myself, my body wouldn't budge. Something was controlling me.

I passed into the woods when a thick fog crept over the ground. The forest became eerily darker all of sudden even though the leaves of the trees were falling due to Autumn coming. There was a sense of danger that lurked the forest, but nevertheless, I only kept walking with my head down. 'Stop moving! I want to stop moving!' Over and over I shouted in my head. Something wasn't right about any of this. The more I continued going further through this dark forest the bigger my sense of threat got. I had to snap myself out of this control! 'Break! FREE!'

Leave Us be.

Wh-What? The Balance...are they the ones doing this to me?! 'How did you do this? Let me control my body!'

Not enough time. We need the Bringer. We don't...have time.

'Time for what?' I tried to ask, but they grew silent. They sounded like they were straining to speak. Every word they spoke was filled with pain. Is the Balance starting to die because of Lucy?! 'Listen here,' I exclaimed in frustration. 'this is MY body that you are controlling without permission! Frankly, neither of you should be doing this because I've been able to hold you back! Did you take advantage of this while I was crossing over Realms and took over my body!? I swear when I gain control again I'll-'

"Well lookie here boys, we have ourselves a weary traveler!" There was a man, that appeared out of nowhere, with four other men surrounding me. "You seem to be going the wrong way boy, but that's good news for us! Give us all your valuables and we'll let you through unscathed!" The looter pointed his dull blade in my direction. My fists tightened, a sudden surge of power enflaming within me. "We have no time for this," I said unwillingly. It was Darkness and Light that we're speaking, and resisting the urge to just slaughter these thugs. One of the men wavered back. "Boss, do you feel this guy's magic? It's crazy strong! He-He isn't right!" The man holding the blade snarled at his henchman. "I do the talking! Give us all your jewels or suffer!" He screamed now taking a closer step. My head, that was staring at the ground the entire time, snapped up. All the men now staggered back gasping in horror. "What the hell is up with your eyes!" One man yelled falling on his butt before kicking himself further. "It's like the rumors! But they said it was a girl that has the eyes of a demon and angel! He has it too! He has those eyes!"

"Oh? Demon and Angel you say? We are anything but that. We, are your greatest nightmare." Darkness and Light snapped my finger. Roots that were under the soil pulled up and wrapped around the men that were backing away in fear. They were now screaming all the while the roots kept on squeezing them the more they struggle. "We have no time to waste! Let Us forget these fools and continue on!" My insides were beginning to feel like they were ripping each other apart. "We will go! They are the reason We have to stop moving! Let's kill these human scum then carry on."

"Listen, mister, we didn't mean any harm! Please, whatever you are, don't kill us!" One of the men begged as all of the robbers were sobbing. The roots were about to pop them. 'Stop it! You're going to kill them if you don't stop!'

Shut your mouth! We are in control!

"You, humans that take advantage of the gift We have given you! After all We have done for these filthy humans, even Our own creators have betrayed Us! There's no one We can trust! No one that can share Our pain!" It felt like I was being shredded. I wanted to scream my lungs out from the infliction that was happening, but Darkness and Light were now fighting for control over me. "STOP FIGHTING! WE NEED HELP!"

"HELP?! WHO HAS EVER HELPED US!?" My body flung itself to a tree when I gasped for air. They were fighting even worse now! 'Both of you stop fighting! If you kill me you won't find your Bringer!'

"Shut your mouth, human!" They both said, unionizing to shut me up. "We should have known it was only a matter of time. Our creators want Us gone! They told Our stupid mutt that they want Us gone!" I realized what they just said. 'Your stupid mutt? Do you mean Lucy? Who was talking to Lucy!? Wait where did they speak!?' My hands threw themselves over my head as I howled in complete agony.

We want to tell the Bringer! This human body cannot take much more of Us being in control! Where is Hades?!

"Please let us go!" The boss thug pleaded. There was so much happening I thought I was going to explode. Without any control over my body or not having the power to help these men I was sure we all were going to die right then and there. 'That's. ENOUGH!' I managed for a second to gain control, only to hit my face into the ground and keep it there. The tree roots that were crushing the men stopped. It was enough time for all of them to crawl from the knotted roots and run back wherever they came from. "This is my body!" I screamed slamming my face into the ground again. "And if I tell you to stop, then you better STOP!"

Stop resisting!

"NEVER!" Blood trickled down my face while I could only keep fighting against the Balance. They were trying to take hold of me again, and yet I refused by keeping my head to the ground and pulverizing it repeatedly.

If you continue this you will kill yourself! Just give it up and let Us take control!

"I'd rather keep bashing my head into the ground than let you control me ever again!" The world appeared fuzzy and tilted when I hit my head for the sixth. There was a loud ringing in the distance I was unsure if it was happening for real, or only in my head. "Look, there he is!" A voice that sounded distorted announced. Was it the thugs that tried to rob me, only this time they brought more reinforcement? Or perhaps someone saw me in the village when I returned to EarthLand? The sound of footsteps made my headache grow even worse until someone gently laid their hand on top of my head. "Idiot, what do you think you're doing!?" That's strange. This person reminds me of Erza due to their perfect imitation of her voice. "Don't hit him near his head! I'm shocked his skull hasn't caved in yet from how much traumatic force he did." Another person that's mimicking, but it was Wendy's voice. Someone forced me to lie down on my back until I saw the one face I did not want to see. "Oh great. I'm seeing Droopy Eyes now!"

"Hey, Asshat, I'm right here!" He yelled bringing his fist to my face until someone prevented him from hitting me. "Don't! You could possibly hurt him even worse." Even better, the other face I didn't want to see or hear. "Now I'm hearing that asshole Bringer too? My day keeps getting better." Wendy's healing magic flowed over my face. My headache was ceasing, along with the gash that was burning on my forehead. "Hang on Natsu. I'm almost finished."

We must speak to the Bringer.

"Give it a rest. I won't allow you to control my body." Everyone's eyes peeled down at me. "Who are you talking to Natsu?" Erza asked gently smoothing my hair out. "Those two assholes that give me and Lucy a headache. They controlled my body!"

For good reasons, We did.

Hades scrunched his brows together. "They controlled your body? Both entities and yet you are somehow alive? That's unheard of!" I wanted to roll my eyes. "They said they need to talk to you." Wendy's healing was finished when I no longer saw the soft blue hue around her hands. There was no trace of blood left on my face that I was able to perk my head up without difficulty. "To me? Why do they need to speak to me?"

"I don't know. They were talking about that it was only a matter of time, and they soon they will be gone. It included Lucy too." Hades suddenly looked pale. "Natsu, I'm afraid to ask you a favor but I must ask that you let me speak to the Balance." Everyone, including myself, looked at him like he was crazy. "Yeah! You were right to be afraid!" I snarled ready to wrap my hands around his throat until Wendy put her hands on my shoulders. "You need to calm down, Natsu. Your heart is not doing too well due to the stress you are putting it through. You must rest!"

We're running out of time! This meddling of yours ends NOW!

I was suddenly suffocating. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest preventing me to breathe in. "I-...Agh!" They were tearing my insides. There was a sudden metallic taste in my mouth; it was too disgusting. I tried to spit whatever was in my mouth, but I was choking. "Natsu?! Natsu!" I had lost control again. My hands pushed forward causing my comrades to fly away from me. The power that was festering in my very veins was like liquid fire. I was huffing and gasping for air, the one thing the Balance always forgot to do was breathe when they took control of my body. "H-Hades." The ground beneath me cracked when I was standing once more. "We're losing time. Our Creators, your Master, has reclaimed-" My face fell forward. Blood was spilling from my mouth like a streaming river. I could feel my sinuses being flooded by my own blood. "My Master!? What did he reclaim!" Hades was in front of me, but he was only speaking to the Balance like I wasn't even there. "Not what..." Light and Darkness sputtered out of my mouth. "Her."

Their presence in my body was gone. Like a puppeteer releasing the strings of its puppet, my body fell like a dead rag doll. Hades became a stone figure; unable to move even with my body lying before his feet. Wendy was the first to reach me when she placed her ear over my chest. "His heart..." I heard her gasp. "We have to sedate him! His heart can't strain any more!" Erza and Gray were helping Wendy in any way they could. The Sky Maiden put one hand over where my heart rested, and her other resting on my forehead. Hades was shaking at this point. "It couldn't be. She's remembered...everything. We can't be..." My nakamas were too focused on me to listen to the Bringer; only I was the one listening to what he was muttering about. "We can't be too late. It's...It can't be."

"Natsu! Natsu!" The faint voice of Wendy's was gone. My heart was too weak, and my head hurt too much to stay conscious any longer.

We can't be too late...

~~~

Rain. I hated the rain. It beat against my back while my eyes were staring into oblivion over a balcony of a crowd. The crowd wasn't looking at me, no, it was looking at a slab engraved with a name I know. And who I was wasn't myself, because I could see the real me staring at the woman that was hunched in defeat on this certain day. I remember this day.

Today was Teral's funeral.

But I was reliving that day through Lucy's eyes. All the emotions she was unable to feel, I could feel like a tsunami crashing down on me. Lucy wouldn't have been able to stand if she felt this much anguish, but she did. She watched over the ceremony in the dark clothes of black and gray; her wings extending out like a train on a wedding dress. Lucy's long, blonde hair covered her face which I was unable to see where I stood. But I knew now why she was hiding behind her curtain of hair. Lucy was crying tears of blood, only without any hint of emotion for her to feel this burden of grief. Deep down within her torn soul I felt and grieved over what she thought repeatedly. Not having emotions made Lucy almost like a robot. A robot without life, or even a will to care. There was nothing to find in her heart that spared any emotions.

Lucy could have fallen and died right where she was standing. She imagined that scenario in her head over and over like a record that was broken. Ways she could fall and break her neck, the idea to fall asleep and drown in the bathtub. So many ideas and witnessing it unfold in her mind...I had to shut my heart to stop seeing it. I couldn't watch as the woman I love to think about such dark thoughts about herself. Teral's death made a wound that was too great for anyone to heal, and Lucy believed ending her life was the best way for the absence of her pain to come back. During this time Lucy thought she would stay this way for the rest of her life. A Half-Soul. A person with no will to live and could care less about anything.

The ceremony was over when Lucy turned back into her room. She closed the door without needing to move, curled herself into a ball on the floor where the bed ends. Her eyes were staring at the empty fireplace becoming enticed of how it would feel now to be burned by fire. Would she feel the blisters form on her skin, the charred smell that would make any person wrinkle their nose in disgust, would she feel any of that at all? There was a sound of someone stampeding outside the hall. This was when Erza told the team we were leaving without Lucy. That's when I blew a fuse and decided to confront Lucy myself. This was when she ripped my heart out of my chest...

The memory Natsu slammed his fist on the door. "Open the door, Lucy! I'm not going to sit out here while you suffer by yourself!" My voice was muffled by the door, but Lucy heard me clear as day. She perked her head up at the direction of the door when she seemed perplexed by my actions. Why was I yelling she asked herself at one point until I hit my fist against the door again. "Open up dammit! Why are you pushing us away Lucy? Even though you're a Half-Soul that doesn't mean you have no right to show what you're truly feeling! All humans need to show emotions, Lucy, so why are you hiding yours?" Lucy stood up wrapping herself in her arms. "He's worried about me?" She whispered that not even I could hear her. "No. He cares about his family. That's all it is." Lucy came closer to the door, still only staring at it in silence. "Why are you hiding Luce? I don't understand why my heart hurts so bad seeing you like this. My instinct is to kick this stupid door down and just hug away your suffering, but you won't let me or anyone else do so." Lucy was slowly reaching her hand to the doorknob. "None of us are leaving tomorrow without you, Lucy! We're staying right here to make sure you get better. I don't care if it takes an entire year until you're ready to go! I'm not leaving you. I promised I would always be there for you Lucy. I won't break it now."

Lucy halted, so close to placing her hand on the doorknob. She retracted away her hand only placing her hands over her heart until she kneeled to the ground. Lucy was thinking to herself; of how she wasn't going to get better. Lucy came to the conclusion that it was only a matter of time before she became the Dark One, and for us to be safe she had to leave us for good. At one point Lucy was considering never coming back, but even she knew it was impossible for her to do that. She shook her head with a decision. "Go away," Lucy replied bowing her head to the door. "I'm not breaking my promise to you, Lucy. I won't let that happen again." I replied back on the other side of the door. Lucy's guilt swelled in her chest like a balloon about to pop. The words she said were like a knife. I didn't know it affected her as bad as it affected me. Even without the ability to feel emotions, saying these next sentences ate away her heart. "Natsu, you and the others will help me by leaving Aria. I need to be alone. I need to take care of something without you or the rest of the team bothering me."

She hated that word. Bother. It reminded Lucy of her father. Him yelling at her when she was a child to quit bothering him when he was working. Those cold, menacing eyes glaring daggers at Lucy before she ran out of his office with tears streaking down her face. But using the word bother knew it would get rid of me, and for that, she hated herself even more. "So we're nothing but a bother to you Lucy?" Lucy placed both hands on the door as if to prepare herself. "If that's what's it takes to make you guys leave, then yes. You're nothing but a bother to me." Lucy wrapped her hand around her mouth. She was thankful for a split second to be emotionless. The pain would have been too great for her to hold back a sob. "Luce...if we leave will you get better?" No, is what she wanted to say. "Yes. It'll be better if you all leave. I'll even send letters so you guys can hear how I'm holding up. Is that okay?" Lucy knew the letters were a lie. For her to write she needed passion. "T-That's fine Luce!" Lucy clasped her throat to prevent any strain from her voice; something that I was unable to do at that point. "I just want you to be better when I see you again. That won't be long right?"

This time, Lucy was honest. "I don't know Natsu. Just, please go." Silence thickened the room. I knew back then that it would be a long time until I ever saw Lucy again. Lucy, on the other hand, was wondering if this was the last time she would ever speak to me. The Mage picked herself up now grasping the door handle with shaky hands. "Sure...I'm going." Lucy stopped shaking. It was when she decided that if this was the last time we spoke, at least it was on civilized terms. We both basically said goodbye. We were departing from each other. What if I hadn't had said that? Would she have opened the door and told me everything? Maybe I could have stayed all along and helped her. The possibilities were endless, but in the end, I backed down. I gave Lucy what she wanted. I left.

I gave up and left her.

When my footsteps could no longer be heard Lucy backed away from the door. She sat on the bed, resting her head in her hands. "Goodbye Natsu." Lucy murmured shaking once more. "I hope you can find the happiness I was unable to give you."

At the end of it all...she was still thinking of me...

~~~

My eyes were burning when I was stirring. The usual tears I shed weren't hot like this. It was worse and intense than I imagined. I rubbed my eyes with the ball of my hand until I opened my eyes. I saw trees and a live campfire with most of my nakamas slumbering in their assorted sleeping bags. The only person I saw still awake was Hades. Never needing to sleep he must be taking watch. I chewed on the side of my cheek contemplating whether or not to go back to sleep. "I relived another memory," I announced without thinking.

"I know," Hades replied without a moment's hesitation. "Which is why I am so confused. I don't understand anymore." Hades bowed his head into his hands. Without having to see his face I knew he was frustrated. The words he said before I blacked out didn't make any sense either. "What did you mean while back? That we couldn't be too late?" Hades ever so slowly glanced back at me. His eyes were grey. "I believe the Gods have found her..." My stomach fell. "They found Lucy?" Hades quickly put one of his fingers to his lips. "Not too loud. You'll wake the others. You worried them you know? You were crying in your sleep, but they were not normal tears. You were crying blood."

"My tears were made of blood?" Just like Lucy. The Bringer nodded. "The Balance is harming your body. Humans are unable to contain the power of both Light and Darkness. Unless you were blessed by the Gods, even one of the entities could fatally harm you." I wasn't surprised since The Giver gave a quick summary of that already. "So, I really am falling into the Balanced Form. And when that happens..."

"If that happens," Hades reinstated. "Then there's no hope in the Sky Maiden healing you. Most likely you'll implode from inside out. That or you will explode in general from the amount of power you will wield." I bobbed my head with a frown. "Great. Either Lucy dies and I become a Half-Soul, or I basically explode. That's...That's just great." I crawled out of my sleeping bag to sit next to Hades. "And if it's true that the Gods found Lucy then we're in trouble."

"Not quite." Hades reached his hand out to the dancing flames of the campfire. "Until Lucy is erased we still have time to bring her back. All we must do is make sure Lucy's heart begins to beat again. Her soul will return, and she will come back." The Bringer's hand didn't burn from the fire but it only seemed to avoid his hand like a gust of wind. It moved around his fingers until his fingertips were when the fire would rejoin back together as a whole. "That's my theory. Take a regular human, for example. When they die their soul is taken to the Abyss, but as long as I don't take them to their next destination there's time for someone in the living realm to bring them back. If they can restart the heart until they pass, then they only grazed death. That's what I did when you hit your head too hard at Crocus. Instead of taking you to your new home, I reset your heartbeat and you lived again. It makes sense if that is what we must do for Lucy; only we have extra steps to do until we are able to restart her heart."

"And if it doesn't work?" Hades frowned. "It has to work. That I will make sure of." I rolled my eyes. "I don't even understand you. You're Death, aren't you? Shouldn't you want death and destruction since your whole job is around people dying?" Hades and I looked at each other. My eyes were displayed as someone that was angry, but Hades seemed sorrowful at what I said. "Most living creatures picture me as a dark-robed being that thrives at the thought of death. But, that isn't true. I'm not alive, nor dead. Just trapped in a limbo of some sort. Yes, my job is to bring death, but I never inflict death to those that even deserve it. Life is precious, and I envy those that hold life. I hate seeing souls that feel lost, and angry that they must leave their loved ones behind. The ones that are scared of what's to come next hurt me the most. When they see me, they expect me to toss them into the Abyss and leave them there, but I am not like that. I care about the souls of all living things. Even if they do take their life for granted, it was a gift they were given. I hold no grudge over them. I know what I am meant to be, Natsu." Hades looked down with remorse. "But that doesn't mean I enjoy at the thought of one dying."

"I'm sorry," I admitted shamefully saying such thing to Hades. He did take Lucy from me for reasons that were wrong. And yet, he made that decision because he knew it would make Lucy happy. It could have been in the moment for both of them, regardless, Hades only thought about Lucy's happiness. "If I wasn't in the picture I'm sure you would have taken care of Lucy. Deep down, Lucy loved you. She still does, maybe even the way she loves me. You were her first love and if she chooses you after she wakes up...I'll learn to accept that."

"Natsu..." Hades exclaimed with wide eyes. "I thought you decided to hate me for the rest of your life." My fists clenched by instinct. "I don't have to like you, but at least I know someone would take care of her the right way. Only the Gods know how many mistakes I made."

"We've all made mistakes my friend." The Bringer put his hand over my shoulder. "But as of now, you choosing to make amends with me has shown that you have matured. Whatever memory you witnessed, I only hope it hasn't affected you negatively. I still want Lucy to be happy. As far as I know, Fairy Tail, and her romantic involvement with you, is her only source of joy. When she wakes up, only then will I think over that path. Do not give up your relationship with her just because I told you of the possibility of her loving me once more." Somehow, I managed to smile. "Thanks, Hades. For a guy I still want to hate it's pretty hard to. Unlike that asshole Droopy Eyes over there." Gray let out a loud snore only being in his boxers with his sleeping bag open. The Bringer showed a small grin. "You should forgive him as well. He only did what was asked of him. The Ice Mage will never admit it, but he is truly worried about you. You should have seen how he reacted when you contested against the demon on your own."

"Pssh. Big deal! That Snowflake is always overreacting. I'm sure he was acting like a drama queen as usual." Hades only shrugged. "Whatever you say. I saw what I saw with my own eyes." A wave of silence came over the camp. There was only a sound of soft snoring until I thought of something. "Wait a minute," I said pointing at Hades. "How did you guys know where to find me? I was in the middle of nowhere!" That caused Hades to chuckle. "It was the Giver that told us. If you've forgotten already, she holds the Sight. She went into meditation to see where you would be after being gone for an entire day. Turns out you were in a village on the outskirts of Crocus. The only thing you must have been thinking when passing through the portal was returning to EarthLand."

"Yeah. The fourth shard of Lucy's Soul really did a number on me. It wasn't physical pain that I dealt with, instead, it was emotion and even mental pain. That's something I've never been good at."

"You feel emotions on a certain level that it affects you at a greater level. That's where your strength comes from; your emotions can be your greatest weapon or your downfall." I chuckled at Hades's statement. "Someone I once knew told me the same thing. He was a wise old man that I was friends with for a long time. Longer than I remember, actually." Adroath's soft blue eyes came to life in my mind. Hades stood up abruptly, eyes hardened in the horizon that was beginning to show dawn. "It's best if you get some more rest. You need another day or two to be recuperated for your final journey. Soon, you will reach for the last Shard of Lucy's Soul." The campfire was dying off to a small flame and reddened embers. "I'm going with you."

That snapped my head up. "What? I thought you weren't able to travel across Realms?!" Hades crossed his arms. "Yes, and I still can't. However, that doesn't mean you can't let me join your traveling. As Gwen allowed Lucy to travel to her Realm, you should be able to as well."

"It seems you already know where I need to go." The Bringer shrugged his shoulders still keeping them crossed. "Well, since you've traveled to every other realm known in the cosmos, I assumed the final Shard was in the Fifth Realm." Well, he wasn't wrong. "Alright. You're right, I have to go to the Fifth Realm."

"I'm going with you." I ended up laughing. "Okay, and how do I do that?! I have no clue how on EarthLand I can even get to the Fifth Realm!" Hades once again placed his finger over his lips. "Quiet now Natsu. You don't want to wake up your comrades. One of them needs to rest more than the others." His sentence went over my head. All I could keep thinking about was who was going to teach me to travel to the Fifth Realm. "Natsu," The Bringer turned his gaze to me. Slowly, his eyes morphed from the color grey to a deep color violet. "don't you know someone that has a connection to the Fifth Realm? Someone that you can easily talk through without even moving?" Oh, Mavis? Hades isn't talking about a human!

He's talking about Solantir!

"I get it now, jackass." Hades abruptly laughed which stirred my comrades from their shuteye. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to wake them! Come now, we have much traveling to do; and as we return to the Guild Hall, you will learn to open a Gateway to the Fifth Realm." Hades warmly smiled, whereas Gray, even Erza glared at the Bringer for rousing them. "Yeah. We only have six more days, but I know we'll have Lucy back by then." I sat up, determined more than ever to grasp the final Shard of Lucy's soul. What would await for me after she wakes up, only Lucy could tell either me or Hades. Either way, Lucy's happiness was all that mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always Lovelies...love you all.❤️