Song: Drowning in The Fog of Yours
         By: Cicada

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~Lucy~

This was a dream. I knew it was because there was no pain. Everything around me was bright and colorful with no trace of anger or sadness I've pushed in the back of my mind. This was Lucy Heartfilia before I found my real self.

Standing before me was a field of luscious, verdant grass on a summer day. Sakura trees were scattered through the field changing colors of their petals as the warm sunlight bathed down. A cool breeze sent warm chills down my spine before a smile settled on my lips. I haven't had a good dream for so long. When I slept it was either premonitions, nightmares or nothing I can't remember. It felt nice for a change of scenery. When I looked down I saw myself in my nighties that I was sleeping in, but I saw on my left arm the dark veins of the Dark One and my right hand my Fairy Tail insignia. I didn't need a mirror to know my right eye was the Dark One and my left was the Light Goddess. My angelic wings were out being fanned by the cool wind as the white feathers glistened by the rays of the sun. This was the real me; the Balance of Light and Darkness, the adopted daughter of Solantir Father of all Dragons and ruler of the Fifth Realm. The Celestial Wizard who holds Ten Golden Keys and can call for any spirit at her side. And, I live on EarthLand with my family and Soulmate. I am bound to every Realm, the very connection that guides magic through.

But what I would give to just be the old Lucy Heartfilia.

Before I was told I was only adopted, created by a Bringer, and is despised by the Gods for the memories I can't seem to remember. Who I really am, and what I was truly meant for is still unknown to me. I was told I was supposed to be the next Dark One, however, my Guardian and Hades, tell me otherwise. They say I'm meant for something greater. What it is I don't know. Gaining answers from them only gives me more questions. I can never get the right answer until I find the right question.

My feet were tickled by the grass underneath me that I giggled. The nearest tree was the biggest Sakura tree of them all. It reminds me of the tree Natsu put in the canal so I can see it while I was sick. Quickly I ran to find shade and enjoy the peace of my dream. The roots were above the ground and huge that I was able to find a sitting position to relax in. There was only the sound of the wind dancing through the branches. There was nothing but tranquility for me here. I placed my hand over my eyes and blissfully sighed. "If only I can bring Natsu here. It's so quiet that I miss hearing his voice. I know he's sleeping beside me, but I miss him even in a dream." A chuckle left me for thinking like such a romantic. I was so madly in love I forgot about the Souls Connection for a moment. Perhaps if I hadn't lost control on the day of Gwen's death, then maybe everything would be different. I never intended on taking a piece of Natsu's soul, I wasn't even thinking straight at that moment. If I didn't, then maybe the Gods would have been able to kill me? No, I'm also immortal. But that hasn't stopped the Gods before. Adroath even said immortals shall eventually reach death. What does mine and Natsu's bond make it special that I can't be killed?

"He is an innocent soul in all of this." A voice I have not heard in a long time answered my question. My legs went in the air after I pulled myself to sit up to look at the person before me. There, in his dashing black suit with a cane in hand, stood Hades. His lavender eyes were gazing into my different irises as he showed a grin. "Did you miss me, Love?" I didn't speak a word but only jumped onto my feet and rammed into his chest for a hug. Hades was caught off guard that I knocked the wind out of him. "Hades! Oh, Gods are you really here you dumb Bringer?" The gentleman before me gasped in sarcasm. "A 'dumb Bringer' my dear? Have you no shame for your elderlies? I've been working on a way to reach you." I didn't let my hug go and instead just put my chin on his chest to look up at him. "Where on EarthLand have you been? And what do you mean about reaching me?" Hades caressed my scalp with his hand and smiled with sadness. "I have been with the Gods, Lucy. They have taken notice of my absence and instructed me on staying at post or else I shall be punished. I have been in the Abyss for these last two months constantly working without any caffeine." Hades sniffled because of having no coffee whatsoever. I pulled away and guided him to sit down with me. "You can't leave the Abyss? But, I've been traveling through the Abyss nonstop shouldn't I have seen you?" In return for my question, Hades laughed. "The Abyss is endless Love! It's a void where Darkness and Light can not reach. Souls that are trapped or lost are sent there and if I'm not there in time they will just vanish from existence. I have to be there at all times which means I travel very fast. I'm sure you've traveled the Abyss but you haven't even seen a single morsel of it."

"Okay, okay I get it," I replied sitting back down in my original spot whilst Hades sat beside me. For Hades being so tall he wasn't able to find a comfy position so instead, he looked very awkward after making his cane vanish. "So you've been trying to reach me?" Hades nodded. "Yes, but when you go to sleep you were so exhausted you wouldn't even remember your dreams. Most of them were nightmares as I've seen, however." A shudder made me get cold all of a sudden. "Yeah, I've been having a lot of bad nightmares. Some I think maybe premonitions but I can't tell between the difference." An embarrassing blush passed over my cheeks to know that Hades has seen my nightmares or mindless dreams I can't recall. Who knows how long he's been trying to reach me? I put my focus back on my Souls Connection. "What did you mean earlier about Natsu being an innocent soul in all of this?" Hades gently moved his irises onto me. His stilled posture was uptight, immovable even. "What I mean is he is an innocent soul Lucy. The Gods will not punish a soul that has done no wrong. It's their laws and they must abide by it."

"The Gods have laws?" Hades nodded. "Of course they have laws, Love! If they didn't create laws then the entire cosmos would be in chaos! Why else have they not tried to vanquish you yet Lucy? You've bound yourself to a soul that doesn't have any part in the Gods plans." I shook my head. "But I never meant to bind mine and Natsu's souls together. It was a mistake!" I placed my hand over my right eye from what I've just been told. "How is it my fault when I never intended a Souls Connection to happen?!"

"Perhaps, it wasn't you that allowed your souls in intertwine," Hades suggested staring into my eyes. "Think about it Love. Who else would be reckless enough to actually take hold of an innocent soul so you or even the Gods would not be able to harm them?" It all clicked together. Before in my prison, I declared I would die as well let the Balance die. The Balance is the Light and Darkness...

"They were the ones that bound our souls together. The Light and Darkness intertwined me and Natsu so they wouldn't be killed. Oh, Gods..." My head came to be dizzy. Quickly I placed my hand on Hades's shoulder to find my balance again. "Why would they do that?! Don't they realize Natsu can become a Half-Soul if I die!?"

"They don't intend on you dying, Lucy." The Bringer finalized after closing his eyes in sorrow. "I have not been able to pass through the Abyss to see you. Why the Gods haven't done anything to me yet I do not know. It's obvious I broke one of their laws, but they haven't taken action. None of it makes sense." Silence fell over between both of us. Now that Hades was here I can search for answers about my lost memories. "Hades," I began maneuvering my body to look at him. "Daniel made an appearance a few days back and told me about my lost memories again. What does he even mean Hades? I don't even know where to begin on uncovering these memories of mine." Hades shifted uncomfortably. "Love, there's only so much I am able to tell you. I can't inform you because of your safety. If anything were to happen to you I would never forgive myself."

"How can I find them Hades? If my memories can help me find the answer to breaking the Souls Connection and saving Natsu, then I have to take that risk." Hades shook his head. "No Love you must understand. Regaining your memories can mean you will be captured! If you are caught then there is no one that will be able to save you. You'll be lost forever!" This was becoming even more confusing by the second. "Trapped in what way Hades?! Are the Gods trying to imprison me by luring these memories of mine? Hades I don't understand you need to help me!"

"I wish I could Love. I really wish I could, but I can't. If I tell you too much then the Gods may as well strike me down now. I gave an oath to keep my lips sealed the moment I was created. There are certain things I know, but cannot tell. There are things you know, but cannot remember. What you know is what the Gods fear. Lucy, you are the only object in their way of something big to come." Hades placed his hand over his mouth. "I've said too much."

"No, you haven't said enough! Can you at least point me in the right direction of where I can start?" I asked now yearning even more to find the answers to my questions. For a moment Hades was silent, thinking through in his mind. "All I can say," He whispered lowly. "is that you must go back to the beginning of where it began. That is all I can say on the subject."

Go back to the beginning of where it all started? What on EarthLand does that even mean?

"Well, it's a start." I placed myself back on the roots to relax once more. I still had more questions that can't be answered until I unveil the truth behind it all. For now, I was at a standstill until I find out more about the beginning. Hades wrapped his hand around mine without me noticing. "The last time I saw you was when you ran away from me. I...never felt so powerless until that moment." The memory of Hades confessing his love for me passed over my thoughts. I've been so engrossed to find Hades for clues I completely forgot about his feelings for me. "Do you still feel that way?" I stupidly asked cursing at myself for asking a question like that. Hades however chuckled. "My dear, I will always love you no matter what. I may not be able to be with you but I am always there by your side without you taking notice. I am your Guardian Angel after all." A quick discomfort passed over my heart that I had to place my hand over my chest. Hades has always been with me no matter what. If I was lost he was there to guide me, and if I was sad he would be the gentle breeze that brought me warmth. Before I remembered who he was there was only so much he could do for me, but now that I know he exists Hades was able to cross over and allow me to see him. We were able to go to brunch together and talk and laugh. It feels like a lifetime ago since we've done brunch together.

"I know you are in love with the Fire Dragon Slayer. Not only that but the Souls Connection must make you both feel even closer," Hades murmured gazing far in the distance. "but if I am
able to take you away and be with me, I will selfishly do it. For so long before the start of time I have never wanted anything. I served and did my duty to the Gods. Without making a mistake, or even disagreeing with their terms. I was a Bringer of Death; the perfect specimen that didn't desire anything nor even felt emotions. That was until I created you." Hades's right arm extended out. "I carved your cheekbones. I made your nose small like pixies and drew out your eyes to match what were to be the eyes of the Gods. More beautiful than any eyes that were ever to be created! I even made your heart. It was so small in my palm I feared I made it be tinier than I anticipated, but it was perfect. Though in size it was tiny, it was big enough to search for a broken soul to mend it back together. You found Seraphina's torn soul and took away the corruption from her. It was her sadness that led you to Seraphina and you wanted to repair her soul. By taking away the corrupted soul, you were given a soul of your own. The first tears you ever shed made me see in what humanity really was. Even though you were only clay I could see what was humane tendencies of a good person!"

I spoke in return. "Why are you telling me this, Hades?" The Bringer never broke his gaze in the distance. The only action I watched as a single tear sliding down his flawless cheekbones. "The Gods may have planned for you to be their next Dark One, but you decided against it. You are an extraordinary and unique creature, Lucy. You are something that has never existed before and the Gods are terrified of the unknown. They fear not only of you learning your past but of what you are also capable of. Lucy, you don't realize this but you can easily overthrow the Gods if you truly wished to. They know you are the most powerful being to have ever existed aside from themselves. They don't know what your destiny is, because only you can decide that. Not the Gods."

"So they're trying to kill me because they are afraid I'll extinguish their very existence? I don't want this power Hades. I just want to be normal again! I want to be Lucy of Fairy Tail!" The roots I was sitting on creaked from my unexpected strike by my fist. Everything was so clouded to clearly understand. If I can control my destiny then why am I still like this?! Why am I still carrying the Light and Darkness? Why am I still immortal!? "You can be Lucy of Fairy Tail, but to have it you must first reach for it. Reach your desire by gaining the answers you seek. The more you know the clearer the path will be. Who knows, what you want now may not be what you want later on. That's the beauty about you Love. You can change your destiny just as you did when you formed a soul of your own that was corrupted. You fought the Gods wishes and made your own pathway. That is why I love you so very much. You were always strong, but you fought for what you believed in as well. You disobeyed and wanted to have human emotions. I wanted to be just like you. When I suddenly had the desire to help you fulfill your destiny, that was when my heart began to beat. A Bringer's heart is never supposed to beat, because it meant we have connected to humane beliefs and emotions have somehow stirred inside us. For a very long time, I kept in under profile for the Gods to never find out. That was until you died the first time. I intruded your guildmates from passing over and stopped you from dying as well. That alerted the Gods and their suspicions."

"So all of this, everything you did, was for me to follow my own destiny?" His silence answered my question to him. It was because of Hades that I am able to decide my fate. It's because of this Bringer beside me that made me who I am. "I don't understand now, but I hope I will when I remember everything." I intertwined our fingers together, gently placing my head on his shoulder. This was very wrong of me, especially since I'm sleeping right next to my soulmate. Yet, it felt never more right until this moment to have Hades be my shoulder to lie on. "Will you try to make it to the wedding?" I out of the blue asked Hades. "I will try to Love. I am under close supervision as of now, however, that has never stopped me to see you." Warm bubbles erupted in my stomach. Hades was a very cheesy romantic that I could throw up. "Okay, quit reciting your love poems and dance with me!"

I got back on my feet then pulled Hades up to stand. "You wish to dance with Death, my dear?" He murmured placing his hands on my waist as he grabbed my left hand. "More like my father that is also my friend that is also in love with me." Hades rasped. "I am absolutely not your father! Gods it sounds so disgusting when you say it like that." His remark made me laugh heartily. "Then should I say, my creator?"

Hades yelled with a pink blush over his face. "No! I'm not your father and absolutely do not call me your creator! Sheesh..." Hades commenced a slow dance starting the first step. Being the daughter of Layla and Jude Heartfilia I learned most dance techniques from ballet, the waltz, to even the simple three-step. "I didn't realize you could dance Hades," I said feigning to act shock. The Bringer rolled his eyes in return. "You do know I was there when dancing began. I've seen it all and learned it all." Hades twirled me around after we did a spin. "That doesn't tell me why you learned to dance. I thought you were only focused on your obligations as to what the Gods told you to do."

"I did do my obligations, but that doesn't mean I was never intrigued by the actions of humans. I've seen the birth of dance, the first murder ever committed, and the first time a child has ever laughed. At the time I never understood what these intentions were because I could never feel what humans felt. It was all like a puzzle and all I could do was just sit there without having the power in understanding it." Hades picked me up twirling me around two times. He gently dropped me back on the ground proceeding another step. "It must have been confusing. Now you know everything there is about emotions and human's unexplainable tendencies. It's like you are one now." The Bringer smiled brightly. "A part of me wishes I was human. I want to live freely without the restraints of being Death. But if I was never created, then you wouldn't be here." Hades stopped moving. "I have never wanted anything Lucy. Now that I see you standing here before me, all I want is to hold you in my very arms and call you mine."

"Hades," I let go of his hand and stepped away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to dance with me. You must understand I have Natsu. He's my soulmate, my entire world!" Hades bit his lower lip. Shamefully he glanced away. "I know. When I broke the law I knew there would be consequences. I never thought you loving another would be one of them..." The environment suddenly turned darker. The colorful Sakura trees wilted away as the sky above us became darkly cloudy. "Hades?" The Bringer brought his face back to me. "Even as you are standing in front of me without him beside you, I can't find the power within me to just take you away. All I've sacrificed and all the laws I have broken would have been for nothing if I just take you away! You're meant to live and love who you want! This must be jealousy I'm feeling. I've never felt jealousy before. I...I hate it." Tears fell down Hades's cheeks. The Bringer turned away from me when the breeze changed into a cold, harsh howl of the wind. "Hades I'm sorry! I know how you must feel, but that doesn't mean I love you as my Nakama! You will always be a part of my family no matter what!"

"Am I too selfish to tell you I want to be more than family?" Hades turned his face back to me. When I noticed his eyes a gasp left me. His lavender, gentle eyes were gone but were now a cold grey. "All I've ever wished for was you, Love. When I finally have you so close to me, I can only stand beside and watch as you love another man. I'm a Bringer of Death that madly loves you, Lucy Heartfilia!"

"That's enough Hades!" The ground underneath me shattered by my strong tone. Hades quickly clasped my wrist and pulled me into his chest before I was consumed by the earth. Because of his strong grip, we both fell down. Hades landed on his back when I fell on his chest. I could hear his rapid heartbeat in my ear as his arms held onto me tightly. "I-I'm sorry Lucy. I'm very sorry." We both pulled ourselves up to sit. My heart was racing against my chest that I scooted away to try to calm myself. "Are you alright? Lucy, I am so sorry for acting like a fool. I didn't mean-"

"This can't ever happen again." Hades stopped speaking from my abrupt declaration. I didn't need to look at him in the eyes to know what he felt. Seeing his heartbroken eyes would only bring me more misery. "You can't continue telling me this Hades. Declaring your love for me...it isn't right. Why break your heart when you know I can't accept your feelings? I'm in love with another man, and you have to accept that. You said yourself that I have every right to love who I want. Even if that person can't be you..." I hugged myself for comfort. Just telling him this made me want to sob uncontrollably for the pain I'm dragging him through. I love Hades, but he must understand that I can never return his feelings. "I'm sorry Hades. I love you, but not in that way. Natsu will be the only man I give my heart to."

"So I don't even have a chance to win you?" He whispered lowly. Again, I felt as though my heart was about to shatter. "No. No one could ever win me over. Natsu is the only man I will love now and forever." Even if my heart wanted to be with Hades, I could never betray Natsu. Natsu and I are soulmates; we were meant to be together until the end. Hades, though torn by my final decision, chuckled with melancholy. "Well, I'll say that I came to a close second." I felt the Bringer's hand grab mine making me turn to look at him. His eyes were no longer grey, but now a deep violet that has managed to survive a terrifying storm. Hades pulled my hand up before gently laying a kiss on my knuckle. "I'll agree to that," I replied after he released his kiss. The dark atmosphere changed back into the sunny, cloudless day as the Sakura trees grew back to life. I pulled myself away from Hades holding my hand. "I..." My eyes glanced away. "I hope you can make it to the wedding. Erza and Jellal would be happy to have you there."

"Then I shall be there." This caused me to look back in surprise. Hades was smiling with admiration in his eyes. "If that's what you want then I'll be at the wedding." I couldn't help but smile. Though I knew Hades was hurting, he still cared about me. He still wanted me to be happy. "Thank you, Hades." Without any second thoughts, I pulled Hades into my arms. My hands caressed his shoulder blades gently caressing up to his scalp. I never noticed how soft his long hair was. Hesitantly, Hades returned my hug by wrapping his arms around me. I felt the sudden tightness of his hold for just a moment. "Sleep well, my Love." I rested my head on his shoulder, released a gentle sigh, and closed my eyes.

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As always...love you all!❤️