Thia's POV

My strength slowly began to return over the next three days. The camp moved systematically back towards New York and I couldn't help but drag behind ever so slightly. I was still getting used to my legs again.

The terrain wasn't too difficult and I kept quiet as I trudged on behind the boisterous group. Children scrambled across fallen trees and rocks trying to tag one another. It seemed odd to me that little kids would tag along with a group of warriors who were tying to kill big scary black monsters. They seemed fearless though. As if they were born with the ability to shoot and adventure without care.

The camp was set up on the coast line of the US. We were very close to camp now but it was much easier to see the effects of Chaos here. Nearly half the coast was absorbed in a still darkness and seemed to stretch on forever.

"I thought it was contained. At least part of it." I let my gaze wander even more picking up on animals caught frozen in action. They had been fleeing but couldn't escape. "It shouldn't be roaming free like this! We have to get back."

"We will." Robin smiled in assurance.

"No, I mean now! I have to know what's going on." Every inch of me wanted to smack away his optimistic expression.

"You will, but you cannot go barging into the unknown. You must adapt to the changes within you. I understand you host the spirit of Order. You must explore such powers," Robin encouraged. The truth is, I didn't want to train or do anything of the sort. I was so close to home, so close to my cousins and parents. "Olivia! Come."

His red headed daughter bounded over excitedly seemingly full of never ending energy like her father. "Yeah?"

"We need to train young Thia. You can brush up on your skills." He smiled clapping her on the shoulder. Olivia smirked crossing her arms, her chest puffing out with pride.

"I'm not training." Shaking my head I attempted to move on. Robin sighed and caught my arm.

"You must be ready for what is to come. You must prepare for the unforeseeable." His eyes bore into mine with an intensity as if he truly believed what he was saying was beneficial.

"You want me to train? Fine." Swallowing hard, I tugged my arm free from his hold. "You want to know what happened last time? Ask Leah. Maybe it'll change your mind."

A flicker of doubt flashed across Robin's face but he quickly brushed it away. "No need. Now would you like a weapon? A sword?"

"No." Shaking my head I glanced down at the silver bracelet still on my wrist and felt the cool metal of the collapsible spear in my pocket. Tapping the bracelet the shield expanded with ease and soon a glistening spear was in my free hand. Olivia's eyes widened in surprise.

"Where did ya get those?" She asked.

"Sorry, they're one of a kind. You can thank my parents." She nodded closing her mouth as she unsheathed two long hunting knives. "Still want to play?"

"Well yeah. I don't back down." She smiled charmingly and twirled her blades. "You want first move?"

"I'll follow your lead." Perhaps my tone was hostile but I didn't care too much. Robin stepped alongside his daughter and the two moved nearly in sync. Stepping back I narrowly missed getting cut.

Right, I have a shield. I managed to block the next few strikes and give a weak retaliation. This went on for a while. They pounded and slammed against me. All I could do was make attempts at retaliation.

"Come on! Fight back," Robin encouraged, swiping at my ankles. Grunting, I jumped staggering back on the landing. "You have more in you. Don't hold back."

"I'm not." Breathing heavily I brushed a strand of hair from my face. Olivia rolled her eyes and kicked at the dirt sending a cloud of dust into the air. Coughing, I tried to see but felt a boot slam into my back. Landing painfully my grip slipped from my spear and my shield fell free.

Crawling through the dirt I made it away from the cloud and scrambled to my feet. My eyes barely lifted from the ground when a flash of bronze nearly took off my nose. Yelping, I ducked and my senses heightened drastically.

"Come on! Why are you holding back?" Robin demanded, standing in front of me with narrowed eyes as if he were trying to figure me out.

"I'm not I swear. I just-" I didn't get to reply as an arrow slammed into the ground next to my hand. I didn't want to be doing this at all. I wanted to be home. I didn't want or like this feeling of premature survival.

Attack after attack bombarded me and disoriented me until I'd lost all of my bearings and it was hit after hit. Embarrassing and pathetic.

"Get up. Let's go. Up on your feet," Robin called, his voice sounding distant. "You want to save the world? Fight the lord of Chaos? You're gonna have to do better than this. You'll die in two seconds flat."

"Robin, what are you doing? This doesn't work. We tried it before!" Leah interrupted. Where'd she come from?

"The weight of the world rests upon her shoulders. She must adapt and be pristine. She needs a clean edge and a clear shot." A weapon. Be a weapon. Despite my exhaustion I stood to my full height, weaponless, and stared at Robin and Olivia with a glare of a thousand suns.

It was hard to maintain my footing at first, but I stood my ground. Robin turned his attention to me, "You know what responsibilities you have! Now you must focus on more than yourself. What is inside of you, the power deep in your core that is waiting to be tapped into. Stop restraining yourself!"

Heart hammering I kept quiet. There was a lot I wanted to say but for some reason I didn't. It was like my pulse seemed to slow. I could hear the beat of my heart; each strong rhythm. The sound of breath became clear and each person's pattern was different. Everything became distinct including the sound of a bead of sweat splattering the ground. Everything came slamming back at once in a rush of sound.

"Don't stand there with your guard down. What's holding you back? What's restricting you from your potential? You'll die from your own stubbornness if you don't try and use your powers now!"

It seemed to happen in slow motion. One moment everything was normal, the next Robin was dangling in my hands as I gripped the front of his jacket. His feet were inches above the ground and his face was full of surprise.

"You wanna know why? Because I'm scared. No one seems to understand that," I glared. He swallowed tightly, and his eyes tried to maintain the confidence that had quickly left him. "And I am not a weapon."

"Good,"Robin smiled shakily. His disregard for my admission of fear and repulsion towards my powers angered me more.

"You're not listening to me. I don't want to train. I don't want to know how to kill people. I don't want to know how to hurt someone!" A pair of hands grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and tugged me backwards.

"Hey! Easy. Don't get all violent!" I didn't have to look to know it was Olivia. The fact that she was even touching me was pretty much unacceptable.

Spinning, I tucked her arms under mine and swept her legs out from under her. She landed roughly on the ground getting the wind knocked from her lungs. "Don't touch me."

"Let your emotions guide you," Robin breathed, straightening his clothes. "I'm only trying to help."

"I've had too many people dictate my life for you to tell me what to do. Thanks for making sure I didn't die but I'm done here." It took every ounce of me to walk away and not pound all of them into a pulp. Hands shaking with pent up rage I passed a thick trunked tree and in a spurt of impulse punched it. Hard.

The trunk splintered with ease and a hole exposed the wilderness on the other side. My hand wasn't hurt. My first instinct was to question how but I knew how.

I shouldn't have this kind of strength or this sort of power. I was used to being normal. Despite wanting powers most of my life I didn't want to be burdened with something this great. Something that if it got out of hand could seriously hurt someone. Let alone the fact that no one told me how to control it, or even if I could.

The possibilities began to race around in my head and despite myself I couldn't help but be overwhelmed. Now wasn't the time for my anxiety to decide it wanted to play. My throat constricted forcing my breath to be sharp and shallow.

Shaking my head I pressed on. I didn't want to be near those people. I didn't want to see them or talk to them. I didn't care if they were trying to help me. It wasn't what I wanted.

Only the thoughts didn't stop bombarding my head with their ammunition and I was forced to stop. The tears always followed the constriction in my chest. It was my body's natural response to try and encourage relaxation so I could actually breath.

"Stop. Calm down." Only I didn't take my own advice. I wasn't sure why but I let everything go, and a white hot rage clouded my vision as I pounded my fists into the ground. I was aware of the large dent that I was making, I was aware in some small part of my brain that a dangerous aura was radiating off of my skin.

Like white smoke but it held an immense amount of power as if it were gas waiting to be lit. Fuel for whatever I needed it for. "You're not a weapon. You're not a weapon."

That's the point of this! It was all this quest had to offer. For you to have power, to take out a threat. You are a weapon and there's nothing you can do about it.

I wasn't sure where the voice came from but it echoed painfully in my head. "But I don't want to be. What am I supposed to do after all of this?"

You fight. It's what you were made to do. To travel the world and restore order. There is little rest for the good. Perhaps you have fallen victim to the promise of good as well like so many before you. That it will always triumph over everything else but it is exhausting.

"I can't do this forever. I can't." The mere thought of being burdened with even more responsibility made my stomach coil into knots.

Then when the time comes you understand what must be done.

"I don't understand anything!" I was so tired of this cryptic atmosphere that seemed to follow me everywhere. I wanted answers. Real substantial answers.

You were never meant to. They say ignorance is bliss but it is a curse. I'm sorry you are so alone little one. You will find peace in time. Until then, there isn't much you can do.

"What if I-"

What? Killed yourself? Tried to deny fate from your path? The world always finds a way. Besides, would you really want to do what Marianna did? After all, she was the one who broke the damn. The one who triggered this plot line. You don't really want to die. You love too much.

"It feels like a decent option at this point." It did. It really did. Only that would mean I failed, that I would be condemning the people I loved most to a horrible fate.

You hold so much negative energy, let it out.

"How?"

Imagine tearing it away and flinging it to all corners of the earth. Then you will find peace no matter how temporary it is. I must say you are the strongest soul yet to face me. I pity you little warrior, you truly are beautiful. A masterpiece in a world of broken art. Sadly, nothing lasts forever.

The voice went silent and I was on my own once again. It wasn't hard to imagine throwing my pain everywhere else but here. Closing my eyes tight I yelled angrily. A flash of white light settled temporarily on the back of my eyelids before it went dark.

A breeze seemed to travel freely through the air. Carefully peeling my eyes open my heart stilled for a brief moment. The once wooded area that lined the coast was bare. Trunks were now to stubs and the tops of the trees had incinerated into white ash that floated lazily in the breeze.

The crater in the ground was the size of a shield and nearly three feet deep. What in the world had I done?

"Thia. Easy, it's just me." Glancing over my shoulder I saw Leah creeping carefully almost fearfully towards me. The camp which rested nearly half a mile away stilled. Everyone stood clustered together staring intently at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Shame filled my chest and I was crying all over again. "They weren't listening. I don't want to be a weapon Leah. I wanna go home and I want to fix this without being dangerous. I can't hurt anyone it would kill me if-"

"I know." Leah crouched in front of me, her expression soft. "You won't."

"You don't know that! Look what I just did!"Leah's eyes skimmed across the area.

"I do know that. You're so afraid you're going to hurt someone that it would be impossible for you to do so. Even if you lost control of this power, whatever it is, your desire to keep people safe is so ingrained in that pretty head of yours you'd never do it. Even now. Look around. Everyone's fine." Leah gestured back to Robin's camp.

She was right, no one was injured. Sure. I'd probably bruised Olivia a bit but I hadn't really lashed out.

"Now, we have to get going. See that over there?" She pointed to the darkened coast line. It had spread nearly twice its size in a matter of minutes. "It's nearly time for whatever is going to happen."

"I'm not ready." My hands shook in fear and nerves.

"You are. Have faith in yourself. You've made it this far. We both have." Leah gripped my hands in hers and tugged me to my feet. I almost forgot how physically strong she was.

"There's still two of us left," I reminded. There was no need for elaboration. We both knew the prophecy.

"Maybe that's true," she smiled, pulling her hands back. "But, that's okay."

"What if you don't make it?" I wouldn't be able to lose her after losing Andy and Marianna. I couldn't lose my only friends.

"I've made my peace," Leah assured. Her smile was somehow sincere despite the implications of the situation. "Either way I'll be by your side when it goes down."

"How can you make peace? You're a kid like me. We have a lot to live for." I'd heard too many stories where demigods died young with an entire world they had yet to experience.

"I've had my adventure," she shrugged. "That's all I really wanted. To get away from my family and to be myself. I guess I realized maybe they didn't really love me and that was okay because I like myself."

I was hit with the sudden realization that we'd both grown a lot as people through all of this. I was entirely different from who I was before. I had too much power now and I was entirely afraid. I'd suffered loss I hadn't known and for a short time I felt like I belonged somewhere. I finally knew what it was like to be the hero. It was sad.

"I don't know why I ever wanted to be the hero," I admitted. Leah titled her head like a bird and her eyes skimmed across my features.

"Because you always want to take care of people. You like to fix things. In a way, you knew your destiny before it happened. You wanted to be a hero because you're the only one who can be." Something I didn't understand seemed to warm me from the inside.

How could she understand me more than I understood myself? How could she make me feel like everything I was experiencing was normal when it wasn't? That I was human, and that meant it was okay to be scared and confused and sad. That it was okay to realize that maybe what you wanted wasn't as great as you dreamed. Or that maybe, just maybe, being a hero wasn't something predestined but chosen because deep inside all of us there's a drive to do good.

Real logic slipped away and I pulled her into a hug. I was conscious not to squeeze too tightly, not with this new found strength, but I felt the need to hug her. "Thanks Leah."

"For what?" She asked, hesitantly hugging me back. It occurred to me she wasn't used to such physical contact.

"For living with me. Really living." Despite everything we'd been through I knew this was how you were supposed to live. To be transformed not by other people per se, but the conditions and experiences you went through together.

"It was a life well lived," she laughed. "Now, let's get to the city. I believe my hero has a job to finish."