Let's start from the being of Wattpad for me, well when I first came here I was known as @Puggles6371 my friend helped me actually made the account for me cuz I'm fucking terrible with "technology shit", so I came on here and the very first person I spoke to apart from school friends was @Melgamingplays I was so scared to talk to anyone but that fear soon went away, I remember thinking damn this app is going suck no one's gonna like me anyway but I ended up making loads of friends and I couldn't be more grateful for all of you ❤️ thankyou so much, I use to get severely bullied back from prep to year 10 I'm a loner, and so shy and anxious and I have pretty severe depression and severe anxiety which really impacts myself so the person you see on here isn't how I really act here I was all happy, quirky, strange, and not a care in the world, when actually it's really the opposite?? Not one day goes by that I don't question why I didn't die in my sleep, I self harm everyday and everyday just feels so repeated of the last one, everyday just gets more and more boring, you know? Maybe it's time to tell you all why I am like this, right? I'm pretty sure you'd want to know so we will go ALL THE WAY BACK we will start with kindergarten, in kindergarten I was basically Angelica from Rugrats, seriously I was so self centred and did not give a fuck about anyone else there. Through all of kindergarten I didn't have a friend they'd all leave me and go off with others so I stayed inside with the daycare people all the time. Then my time at kindergarten was done prep was next now at this point stuff already was going bad at home my dad was constantly yell and there would be so many fights and because I was having difficulties at home people at school could tell so I got bullied for many things because I was struggling at home, because I wasn't social, I didn't have ANY friends and this went of until year 6 and I got made fun of because I was overweight so in YEAR 6 I became bulimic and anorexic (I still am! I still am bulimic and anorexic) and then at the very end of year 6 I started getting picked on because I had bad yellow teeth this was brought on by my bulimia and they are still so very yellow. When year 6 happens that's the last year of primary school then you move schools and I had hope I was hoping everything would change but it didn't they only 5 people who'd ever want to talk to me left me and started to hate on me because they didn't like how I changed over time, in year 7 I only spoke to this one person she was a "friend" but she always made fun of me for watching kid shows and she's always tell me she hates me and sometimes she's even bring me to the bathroom to punch me, kick me, slap me and she even like to through me into the walls. I was still struggling with my dad at home there was always yelling and fights endless times when had to call the police because he was being to scary I even remember walking in on him in my mum's closets ripping and cutting her clothes, even once I was in the room with me dad and mum and they were pushing each other the roof fan was on and my dad cut his fingers on the fan blade, so many other things we got broken into and the person climbed over me and know I can't sleep okay at time cuz I'm terrified that will happen again the endless nights I had to stay at my grandparents house because we where afraid dad was gonna do something, my dad burnt our house down I had to stay with my grandparents because they didn't want me seeing my mum in tears. Over all the years I've become afraid of an guys and because of that it makes it really difficult to talk but I'm improving that. So fast forward to year 10 and I made a group of friends but I always felt that I ended up with the popular people but I'm antisocial, and one of the guys from the group ended up in my class so we eventually started sitting together and we ended up getting closer and closer until one day when ended up playing truth or dare and he'd always pick a sexual dare for me things started to get bad and basically he said I dare you to let me put my hand in your pants and we will see were to go from there and I didn't know how to tell him to stop so I didn't and he ended up fingering me because I didn't know how to say stop. I have never been able to tell anyone that face to face, and he did this multiple times during the time we where in class together even if I told him to stop I don't like he's say just wait or make me feel bad and call me a lesbian because apparently I'm bad for being a lesbian. Year 10 is also when I lost 6 people 5 were online and Allie wasn't online, she made me feel valid for only liking women and also made me realise that was that guy was doing was wrong. Her and I kept getting closer and I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes it was nice to have a girlfriend for a while and then we ended up kinda disappearing from each other then one night she called me and told me she was cheating and that she got pregnant I got so mad and I yelled at her and she was saying she's sorry I remember hearing her voice cracking like she was worried but I was to late to stop her I called back and it was her mother she showed me that she was really dead there was no water in the tub it was just dark red thick blood covering the bottom and the biggest slit I've seen, the blade was still in her arm I can't go into it I just can't.  Ever since that night I've never been able to forgive myself I being feeling so pointless, worthless, useless fucking stupid 

Can you tell where I got all my problems from but the title doesn't lie I'm been considering it for a while but I'm really not sure, I want to leave wattpad and I just want to give up please help me?

Actually if I send this to you please just let me know in the comments what you think?