January 2nd, 2013

Well, after that depressing first entry, lets try for something lighter.

Yeah, no. Not happening.

If someone is eventually going to read this, even out of sheer boredom, they might as well hear the story from the beginning.

I only remember bits and pieces of this day. I was walking home from school. It was the last day before winter break. It was my birthday.

I had just turned 16.

The air was brisk and the were tiny flurries dancing in the wind. My mind was occupied with what had happened at school that day. Homework assignments, friends, who was dating who.

Stupid stuff.

I remember walking up to my house and opening the door. I walked inside and I instantly knew something was wrong.

My dad worked at an office building so he was never home at this time. My mom worked from home so she was always here. But she would usually have music playing, no matter what.

But the house was completely silent. Except for a muffled sound coming from somewhere.

I peeked my head into the living room and saw that she wasn't there. I silently crept into the kitchen and there she was. She was sitting at the kitchen table, quietly sobbing into her hands. In one of them, she was clutching a letter.

I slowly walked over to her and sat down beside her.

"Mom?" I said. She didn't look up at me, she only started to cry harder.

At this point, I was terrified. Whatever was in that letter had devastated my mom.

I managed to pry the letter out of her hands and I began to read it.

'Dear Mr. and Mrs. Baylocke,

We regret to inform you that during your daughter Alene's annual check up last week, we found signs ofa rare cancer in her heart.

We recommend you bring her back immediately for further testing and to discuss possible treatment options.'

I stopped reading and dropped the letter onto the table. Mom saw my face and tried to hold my hand.

"Oh Alene, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed.

I abruptly pulled my hand away from hers and stood up, causing my chair to tip over with a loud bang.

I slowly backed out of the kitchen, away from this horrible scene. I turned and ran out the front door. I heard mom calling out for me to come back but I could barely hear her.

I just kept running.

To this day, I'm not quite sure why I ran. I knew it wouldn't fix anything, that it wouldn't make anything go away.

I just knew that I had to get as far away as I possibly could.

When I finally stopped, I knew that I was on the edge of town. I lived in a tiny town so it wasn't that far from my house. I realized that night had fallen. As I began to walk home, I started to think.

I didn't think about the cancer, didn't think about how worried my parents would be.

All I could think about was the fact that today was my birthday.

And I suddenly didn't know how many more I would have.