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EIGHTEEN | THE LINA AND CASSIE CHRONICLES: HIS FIRST HEARTBREAK

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"WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME ABOUT MY FATHER?" Caspian asked Cornelius as they sat on a ledge slightly away from the How, overlooking the entrance to the Shuddering Woods from afar. 

Caspian was confused, he was angry and he wanted so desperately for definite answers to the questions that plagued his mind. He wished we could blame this all on his childhood, blame it on Cornelius for not telling the truth about what happened to his father and neglecting to tell him the truth over the years but he knew that wasn't just it. 

There were other things, things that seemed far more important to him and things that left his stomach in knots and his heart in pieces whenever he thought it over. The Prince didn't know how to describe what he was feeling, the pain and the relief that it brought him at different times and how in a matter of days everything in his life had changed for what he hoped would be the better.

And it wasn't just because of the Narnians.

"My mother was a black dwarf from the northern mountains." Cornelius stated as he turned his head to look at the Prince who hadn't even looked in his Professors direction. "I risked my life all these years so that one day you might be a better king than those before you."

"Then I have failed you." Caspian whispered as he dropped his gaze to the floor in shame, a frown settling on Cornelius' face as he pitied the Prince who had appeared to have lost all self confidence due to his encounter with the Witch only a few hours ago.

"Everything I told you, everything I didn't... It was only because I believe in you." Cornelius told him in confidence, Caspian lifting his head to look at his Professor who was smiling down at him. "You have a chance to become the most noble contradiction in history: The Telmarine who saved Narnia."

The Prince turned his head to look forward, thinking over what Cornelius had said and imagining what it would be like to live up to the title, to be the one to defeat Miraz and bring Narnia back to its true glory. But to do it alone, without the help of the Kings and Queen who he had completely misjudged and currently detested seemed impossible to him.

And then he thought of Angelina.

He thought of how he could have killed the girl simply for following Nikabrik and not fighting against the Witch when he had the opportunity. He thought of how helpless she looked when she was bound to the broken rock in the stone table room, the look of fear in her eyes and the sound of her raw screams ringing in his ears. 

He thought about how it was all his fault.

And then he remembered the Just King, how it had been him who destroyed the White Witch hours ago and how he had also prevented the Enchantress from getting the heart and killing Angelina. Edmund truly cared for Angelina and everybody could see it and Caspian knew that she cared for him also. In many ways he envied Edmund because the King had everything he wanted and got it so effortlessly.

And in many ways, Caspian wished he could be like Edmund.

"The warrior," Cornelius spoke after noting Caspians silence, the Prince turning to look at him at the mention of Angelina in confusion. "you care for her don't you?"

"Forgive my ignorance Professor, but that isn't any of your business." Caspian told him in barely a whisper, turning his head away from him as he refused to give into whatever the Professor was insinuating.

"The look in your eyes when you see her, I've seen that look before in your fathers eyes and like you he ignored it." Cornelius told him, Caspian scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion before he turned to the Professor in confusion.

"I don't understand." Cornelius sighed before he looked into the woods, noting as two people walked out arm in arm while laughing.

"See here." Cornelius pointed at the two figures, Caspian following his gaze and feeling his heart deflate at what he saw. "There she stands on his arm, the two smiling and laughing as those in young love do and he holds the same look in his eyes as you do and yet she doesn't act this way with you."

Caspian turned away from the scene, refusing to look at the professor or his best friend who had just left the woods on the arm of the Just King, smiling and laughing as if they were courting each other. He felt an ache in his chest, his heart rate increasing as he squeezed his eyes shut and told himself not to give into the pain. Cornelius sighed as he placed a hand on the boys shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly as Caspian raised his eyes to look at him.

"The reason for that being that he wasn't afraid to act on that look and that feeling because he felt something stronger than his mind could comprehend." Cornelius finished, Caspian shrugging his hand off his shoulder as he stood up and gave the Professor a look of disbelief.

"I am not afraid." He deadpanned as a scoff left his lips, the Prince turning back to look at Angelina and Edmund with a sigh. "It's just not meant to be."

"That's the same thing your father said but that was more to convince himself rather than anyone else." Cornelius informed him, Caspian raising an eyebrow at him as he sat down again not understanding what the Professor was saying. "When he finally built up the courage to do something about it, he was too late."

"What are you even saying?" He questioned, Cornelius sending him a hopeful smile as he though over his next words.

"If you think you love someone, you need to tell them or else you'll lose them just like your father did." 

The sound of laughter grew nearer, Caspian raising his head at the melodic sound as he watched Edmund and Angelina pull away from each other - the Just King placing a kiss to her hand before walking back into the How. He noted how Angelina watched him go, the smile on her face growing as she took a moment to smile to himself. Caspian couldn't help but smile too, for her smile was contagious and since he had known her he had never seen her so happy.

Then she met his gaze and started walking in their direction. 

"She's coming over." Caspian disregarded what Cornelius had advised him, the Professor sighing as he stood up and dusted his hands on his tunic as he gave the Prince a pitiful smile.

"Then I'll take my leave but consider it my prince," Cornelius motioned Caspian forward, the Prince standing up so that the Professor to whisper to him. "you don't want to make the same mistake."

The Prince stood dumbfounded as Cornelius walked back into the How, greeting the Just King at the entrance before walking out of view. He sighed as he ran his hands over his face in distress, the Prince wishing that for once something in his life would make sense. Due to not paying attention, Caspian was shocked to say the least when he went plummeting to the ground unexpectedly when Angelina jumped onto his back.

"Cassie!" Angelina squealed as she wrapped her arms around him, the grin not falling from her face. "I feel like we haven't spoken in forever."

"We literally spoke last night Lina." Caspian chuckled halfheartedly as he removed her arms and sat up, refusing to look her in the eye as he continued to look forward in deep thought.

"What's wrong with you?" Angelina questioned as she took a seat beside him, noticing how distant he was being and had been previously.

"Nothing," Caspian sighed as he shrugged his shoulders, still not looking at the girl. "I'm just tired and irritated."

"Irritated?" Angelina asked as her smile fell from her face, the girl nudging his side in hopes of brightening up the atmosphere and get him to talk. "How come?"

"You wouldn't understand..." Caspian turned his head to look at her when she didn't immediately answer, noting the fact that she had rose an eyebrow in his direction as if challenging him.

"Try me."

"I just feel like my whole life has been a lie." Caspian stated as he stood up, Angelina crossing her legs on the grass as she titled her head at him and watched him pace across the green. 

"Cass..."

"My whole life I've been brought up to believe one thing only for the truth to be another." Caspian elaborated, ignoring Angelina who sat patiently on the grass with a calm look on her face as she waited for him to finish. "The truth about the Narnians and how my people invaded them, the truth about how my uncle murdered my father and then to find out that my father..."

" Your father?" Angelina pressed him as her brows furrowed, noting the heartbroken look on Caspians face, his square jaw and the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"It doesn't matter." Caspian muttered, though he barely convinced himself yet along Angelina who had been sat listening to him intensely and analyzing the look on her best friends in worry. "The point is that everyone in my life has lied to me and I don't know what and who to trust anymore."

"You can trust me." Angelina whispered as she stood up wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, Caspian stiffening for a moment before he wrapped his own arms around he waist and burying his face in her shoulder. "I wont ever lie to you Caspian."

"You can't promise that." Caspian mumbled, the mere comfort form the girl already lifting his spirits as she pulled away and held his hands in hers.

"I know I can't promise," Angelina told him truthfully before a small smile settled on her face. "but as your best friend I can try not to because I care about you."

Caspian smiled warmly at the girl, trying to ignore the sting in his heart at the words 'best friend' as they sat down on the grass again smiling into the distance. Angelina leant her head on Caspians shoulder, Caspian placing his head on top as hers as a comfortable silence fell over them. Angelina was determined that nothing would ruin her day as she remembered what happened in the woods a while ago and her smile grew and a small blush settled on her pale cheeks again.

Despite what happened last night, she couldn't be happier.

"You mean a lot to me." Caspian told her after her short silence, Angelina moving so that she could smile up at him properly as she nudged his shoulder.

"I know," She whispered and Caspian wondered if there was something deeper behind her words, whether or not she knew what was wrong the whole time but he let it slide. "you mean a lot to me too."

"So did you and Edmund kiss yet?" Caspian joked, referring to the fact that the two had dissapeared the night before and had returned this morning smiling and jovial as if last night had never happened. Angelina was taken back by his words, a small blush settling on her cheeks as she tried to suppress her smile but found she was unable to.

"How did you know?" She asked as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, Caspians eyes widening as he turned to her to see whether or not she was kidding but upon seeing the blush on her face he knew she had been telling the truth.

"Wait, I was only joking." Caspian told her in disbelief, his heart breaking as he silently begged that she was making a poor attempt of a joke. "You actually did?"

"Why the weird face?" Angelina asked as her smile fell, a frown settling on her face at Caspians reaction. "I thought you of all people would be happy for me."

"I am," Caspian attempted to smile at her but the ache in his chest made it hard to do for more than a few moments so he took to faking it. "I am happy for you, I swear." 

"Are you okay?" She questioned him, his reaction not reassuring her as her own heart began to ache at the fact that her bets friend didn't seem to support her.

"Me? I'm fine." Caspian scoffed as he stood up, dusting the dirt from his tunic before pointing behind him. "I'm just going to go."

"Caspian the tenth don't you dare take another step!" Angelina shouted as Caspian began to walk away, the Prince stopping at the tone of her voice as he turned around to see her face that was full of anger as she stormed up to him unamused. "Don't you dare complain about people lying to you if you're just going to be a hypocrite!"

"Look," Caspian sighed as he refused to look her in the eye. "it's really none of your business!"

"Of course it's my business because your behaviour recently is concerning me." Angelina told him, Caspian scoffing as he took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why?" Caspian exasperated, as he finally looked er in the eye and she finally saw the pain that laid in them. "Why do you care?"

"Because you're my best friend and I care about you." Angelina replied, Caspian rolling his eyes as another scoff left his lips. 

"Well recently it doesn't seem like it." 

There was silence for a moment, Angelinas look softening as she looked at her best friend and shook her head at him before a chuckle left her lips. Caspian gave her a confused look as he uncrossed his arms, trying not to smile at the sound of Angelinas melodic laugh and how pretty she looked while laughed. Angelina smiled at him, giving him a pointed look.

"So that's really what this is about?" She asked between laughs, Caspian raising an eyebrow in confusion as he looked down at her.

"What?"

"You're jealous." She stated simply, Caspians eyes widening immediately as he shook his head.

"Absolutely not." He scoffed as he refused to meet her eye. "What do I have to be jealous of?"

"Cassie, just because I'm spending more time with Edmund doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore and that we're not best friends anymore." Angelina told him as she placed a hand on his shoulder, Caspian smiling slightly at her naivety to the situation as he sighed and shook his head at her.

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?" She asked as she tilted her head to the side in confusion, Caspian chuckling at her before he sat himself on the grass again, the girl following after him.

"I can't tell you." He whispered, the Princes voice small and meek as he refused to meet the girls eyes. Angelina had never seen him so objective, had never seen the hurt that was in his eyes and had never seen him try to hide it so easily.

And it scared her to see him act this way.

"Okay." Angelina gave in as she smiled at him, placing a hand on his shoulder as squeezed it. "You know I'm always here for you right?"

"I know." Caspian smiled at her, relieved that she had given up on the subject. He then looked her over, looked at the clear markings still on her arms and the blackened ends of her hair that was broken and full of split ends. And despite the smile on her face, he could see the dark bags under the eyes and the paleness of her skin and he frowned. "You look really rough."

"You really know how to make a girl swoon." Angelina joked as she gave him a small smile, Caspian chuckling as he gave her another genuine smile and shrugged.

"I didn't mean it to offend you but you look tired." Caspian spoke to her softly, unaware of how true his words were as he repeated his words from earlier. "I'm just worried about you."

"That makes two of us." Angelina sighed, a single tear falling from her cheek that Caspian quickly wiped away. 

He then looked at her, saw that behind the smile she gave out there was pain and uncertainty behind it that he had never seen before. He knew that she knew something nobody else did, that she knew why things had now changed and that she wasn't the same Angelina she had been before their encounter with the White Witch and the Enchantress the day before.

"Things are going to change aren't they?" He asked her but got no audible answer.

Angelina nodded meekly, Caspian noting the sad frown that settled on her face as he wrapped an arm around the girls shoulder to comfort her. They then spotted something in the distance, hearing the sound of soldiers marching coming closer to the How as the two stood up in confusion. Angelina quickly grabbed a telescope and looked through, gasping at what she saw before she ran back into the How. 

Caspian stayed still for a moment before following the girl back into the How, allowing his thoughts to reign over him. Though he didn't know the certainty in Angelinas words, the Prince knew that he had to look past his own heartache to look after the girl whose life was destined to be short lived. 

And Caspian, who would always be her biggest supporter, was the least prepared for who she was destined to become.