VANNA LEI kept tapping the steering wheel as she recalled what happened earlier. Cloud's face... the pain on his eyes. Paano ba niya nagawa iyon kay Cloud?

"I think what you said to your ex was too much."

Napatingin siya kay Clyde na nagsalita. She almost forgot she had company.

"He called you asshole, I cannot tolerate that," she said in defense though she thinks she actually overdid it.

"Kahit papaano may pinagsamahan naman siguro kayo, you didn't have to be that hard on him," naiiling na saad ng binata. She felt like her cheeks flushed. Pati ang binata ay hindi nagustuhan ang ginawa niya.

"Ano'ng gusto mong gawin ko? Bumalik doon? Apologize?" she asked helplessly.

The latter shook his head.

"The damage has been done," he told her.

"Kahit ilang beses kang humingi ng tawad, hindi mo na mababawi 'yong sakit na naramdaman no'ng tao," dagdag nito.

That statement left her in awe as she stared at Clyde.

She was silent for a moment.

"Ah-I didn't know you are that profound," komento niya. Ngumiti lang ang binata ng tipid at hindi na muling nagsalita pa.

The silence that came next was deafening. She can only hear her heartbeats. Unti-unti niyang pinakalma ang sarili.

"Iyong kotse mo naiwan na sa restaurant," aniya sa binata matapos ang ilang minutong katahimikan.

"Baka kasi ibangga mo ang kotse sa galit mo kaya sumakay agad ako," Clyde jested.

Nailing na lamang siya at hindi na sumagot pa.

"So okay ka na? Nahimasmasan ka na sa nangyari?" tanong nito matapos ulit ang ilang minutong katahimikan.

She nodded slowly before starting the engine. They headed back to the restaurant without any word.

Wala na doon ang sasakyan ni Cloud pagbalik nila sa parking area.

Clyde cleared his throat a moment after the car stopped.

"You seriously need to sit down and talk to your ex, Vanna," saad nito. She inhaled deeply as she pursed her lips. Nanahimik siya dahil hindi niya alam kung ano ang isasagot rito. How could she face Cloud after what happened?

Saglit silang natahimik bago gumalaw ang lalaki mula sa kinauupuan.

"I better get going," sambit nito habang binubuksan ang pintuan ng sasakyan.

"Hindi na tayo nakapag-usap ng matino," aniya. Tumingin naman ito at ngumiti ng tipid.

"Saka na lang kapag nakapag-usap kayo ng maayos ng ex mo or shall I say asawa mo," malumanay nitong saad.

"He's not my --" hindi na niya itinuloy ang sasabihin. Alam naman niyang kapag pina-check ni Clyde ang records sa PSA makikita nito ang record ng kasal.

"When will we meet again?" she asked instead.

Clyde smiled.

"The right time will come, my star," he muttered and leaned in to give her a peck on the lips. In less than a second, he already moved out of the car.

Naiwan siyang nakatanga lang sa kawalan. For the first time in her life, she felt lost and confused.

*****

She later found herself drinking alone in a bar. When she can't find peace and solace, she drove again and found herself in front of Cloud's house. Ilang minuto siyang nakatayo at hindi maihakbang ang mga paa papasok. Tinitimbang niya ang hiya at pagnanais na itama ang sitwasyon pero gaya ng sabi ni Clyde kahit humingi siya ng tawad hindi na niya mababawi ang sakit.

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as stepped without hesitation. The moment she stood at the middle, she knew things will never be the same again.

Instead of seeing Cloud when she went down, she found Mother Universe seated at the couch. Nakatingin ito ng diretso sa kanya na parang hinihintay talaga ang pagdating niya.

She swallowed hard when she signaled her to occupy the opposite couch. A defeaning silence followed. Walang maririnig kundi ang paghinga nilang dalawa.

"I told Cloud not to do his exercise routines yet. Fresh pa kasi ang sugat niya sa tagiliran."

Her forehead creased as what she said. Parang nahimasmasan pa siya mula sa nainom kanina. She saw Cloud doing his routines when he came back, malapit na nga ito sa halos kahating libong push-ups noon.

"A-anong sugat?" tanong niya rito. Cloud was half naked then and he looked fine. Naalala nga niyang hindi niya kita ang kabilang tagiliran nito.

"He deliberately didn't wear his bullet proof vest when he went to an operation. He got shot," paliwanag ng ginang.

"That was after you accused him of bombing the restaurant where you were having a date," dagdag nito. Pakiramdam niya ay may hinanakit sa tinig ng ginang.

"I didn't know that," she admitted honestly. She remembered Cloud drinking in one of his bars that night and singing with the crowd.

"How will you know? You were busy with your mission." The last two words sounded sarcastic coming out from Mother Uni Verse's mouth. She was not able to say a word.

"I don't want to see my son getting hurt again because of you," diretsa nitong saad.

She felt like her entire being flushed at her words. Naitulos siya sa kinauupuan at 'di na makagalaw. The woman's glare felt terrifying. Now, she can feel why the woman became their global head. May taglay itong aura na 'di basta basta mababali.

"I am going to undo the hacking of your marriage registries, just don't show your face ever again to Klein Rich," dagdag nito na mas lalong nakapagtigagal sa kanya. The alcohol in her system did no effect. Nakaramdam pa rin siya ng hiya at kirot sa sinabi nito. She knew their head already had an idea of what had happened earlier.

*****

She didn't know how she was able to get out of Cloud's house. She just found herself sulking at the minibar inside her pentsuite reminiscing every bit of what happened.

Kaharap niya ang mga bote ng alak pero 'di niya magawang uminom. She's submerged at her own thoughts.

Nagawa lang naman niya iyon dahil hindi maganda ang approach ng binata kanina. He was mad and she got mad, too. Ito lang ba ang may karapatang magalit? Wala man lang ba siyang karapatang kagalitan ito sa bigla na lang pagsulpot sa harap nila ni Clyde?

Kasalanan ba niya kung lahat ng gusto niyang makita rito ay na kay Clyde? If he had not been a coward, they would have had their chance. Kasalanan ba niya kung nagsawa na siyang hintayin itong gumalaw para sa kanila?

She wiped her eyes as tears started rolling down her face. Marahas niyang dinampot ang cell phone sa counter at tinawagan si Clyde.

"Hey, are you okay?" tanong nito pag-angat pa lang ng tawag.

"I need company," she muttered and started sobbing.

"Nasaan ka?" agad namang tanong ng binata. Halata ang pag-aalala sa boses nito. She continued sobbing as the phone slides out her palm.

Few minutes later, Clyde knocked at her door.

*****

"Man up, son!"

Pakiramdam ni CLOUD ay nabingi siya sa pahayag ng ina. He went home to his mother's house. Mayroong ilang bahay ang ina sa Pilipinas na inuuwian nito kapag nagbabakasyon. Hindi niya inasahang madadatnan ito roon. Unang beses siyang yumakap habang umiiyak sa harap ng ina. He didn't mind looking fragile and helpless. He told her mom everything not leaving any details behind. Hinayaan naman siya nito.

He's been cursing as he drinks because he can't stop his tears from falling. Natadtad na nga rin niya ng baril ang lahat ng standee sa shooting range sa bakuran pero 'di pa rin maampat ang luha niya.

He can't believe how he lowered down himself. Pakiramdam niya ay humalik siya sa lupa sa ginawa niya kanina. However, his whole being couldn't find any regret. Hindi siya nagsisisi na ipinakita sa dalaga kung ano ang kaya niyang gawin para patunayan ditong mahal niya ito. Pero hanggang doon na lang yata talaga at hanggang doon na lang din ang kaya niyang gawin. What he did was too much. Sobrang pagpapahiya ang ginawa nito sa kanya sa harap ng lalaking kasama nito. Hindi man lang nito inaalala ang lahat ng pinagsamahan nila para ipahiya siya ng gano'n sa harap ng lahat.

"Your life doesn't end here, Klein. Ano bang mayroon sa Vanna na 'yon? Ano bang ipinagmamalaki niya para gawin 'yon sa 'yo?" madiing saad ng ina habang inaagaw ang bote at baril na nasa kamay niya.

"She's just a 'nobody'. You can get over her. You can find someone better," galit nitong dagdag nang akmang aagawin niya ang boteng hawak ng ina.

That remark made him stop.

Ano na nga ba'ng mayroon kay Vanna? Bakit ba siya nagpapakag@go?

He wiped his eyes as he clasped his hair.

Huminga siya ng malalim at kinalma ang sarili.

Kung nagawa nitong ipagtulakan siya ng gano'n, bakit pa niya ipipilit ang sarili?

He's the head of IF for PH. A lot of people need him. Why would he waste his sanity over a woman, who can't love him back?

Bakit siya manghihinayang sa pinagsamahan nila kung ito na mismo ang nagtataboy sa kanya?

He swallowed hard as he went inside their house leaving his mother.

He went straight to his room and headed towards the shower area. He tried hard to calm himself.

Habang lumalagaslas ang tubig sa katawan niya, humuhupa naman ang emosyon niya.

As soon as he finished taking a shower, he finally decided that maybe just maybe, it's time to let go.