Gulf wipes his eyes again.

He does not care he is not supposed to cry anymore. His husband has someone else to love and that person loves his husband so much.

What is he to cry? Who is he to meddle in that love?

Can I go to the gardens?

He writes knowing well that nobody reads his messages. It is just a palace custom for the Empress to write their needs to the Emperor. Well, Gulf is not the real Empress. He is just...

... a nobody with no home.

The real Empress is now in Helula province or that is what his valets say.

"Do you want anything else? I have other work." Mypee glares at him and he just shakes his head.

"No. Thank you."

Mypee just sighs in annoyance and takes his letter like every other day. Gulf wonders if his letters are even opened. He should have asked for something else. Maybe asking for a visit to the garden is too much.

He had asked for the library access two weeks before; but the guard still says no.

He sighs.

Patience and willingness, Gulf. A husband's heart is tricky. It is all in your hands. Be there when he needs you. Wait till he is alone with you and show him that you can be an excellent lover. Have you tried cooking him dinner?

He crumples his mother's reply to his last letter. The palace has officially received a decree from his mother to only let him write only one letter a month from then on. His mother is apparently tired of his being not a good wife.

He is troubling his mother with his shortcomings as a good wife.

Yes, he cooks dinner some nights. His valets are assigned for other duties and they cannot find enough time to drop of his meals anymore.

Some days he will see one of them in his room fixing bedsheets. Other than that, Gulf is all alone and he is happy that he does not have inquisitive girls anymore.

He is patient.

Maybe one day Mew will look at him and think Gulf is actually capable of loving him and making him happy. He still waits for his husband to take a bite of the dinner he has made but the man does not come home anymore.

Gulf knows the official court procedures are going on well; other times the King is with his real Empress. Gulf only holds the title. The power and the meaning of Empress is with Mew's person; so is his husband's heart.

Tears still spring to his eyes and scolds himself. Husbands are allowed to have other lovers; if you are a good wife, they will not leave.

But... what will he do if he is not given a chance to prove himself to be worthy.

"The Emperor demands an audience." The guard kneels in front of him to show the respect that is lacking in his tone.

Gulf as usual does not notice. His husband has asked for him. That is all he heard and the boy rushes out, the redness in under his eyes and the nose tip, only enhance his ethereal beauty.

"My liege..." The voice is so soft and pleading.

"What is your name again?" The Emperor asks and Gulf prays that the tears that are in his eyes will not splash on the floor. How humiliating will that be?

Why is Mew pretending not to know him? All the letter, specifically addressed Gulf... My Gulf... Gulf, Gulf, My Gulf and now the man has to ask what his name is?

"THE EMPEROR ASKED YOU A QUESTION!" A huge man next to his husband bangs his heavy spear on the polished rock floor and Gulf gasps in fear before kneeling.

"Gulf... sir. My name is Gulf." Should he add that he is the man's wife too?

"I heard you asked for a portrait of mine, to the valet."

"Yes... my King."

"What are you planning?"

"Mmm... it is customary for the wife... to..." Gulf gulps down the thickness in his throat. "... to pray for our husband's goodwill on the..."

Mew laughs, laughs and laughs and every ring of that beautiful voice amplifies in his heart as thunderbolts.

"Please, my lord. Please do not..."

"Do not what?"

"Mock me..." Gulf wishes his words would go back to his heart where they came from.

"Gulf, is it? I pay you ten gold coins a day. I married your pathetic self." Gulf bites down his lips at the hurtful words. "I am sure; you can spare me an advice of not mocking you."

Gulf writhes in pain.

"Continue." The King is teasing him, yet Gulf hopes the laughter in his voice has a pinch of love too.

"In our village... all wives are supposed to pray for their husbands on the Bleeding Twilight. Day before yesterday was one."

"And you wanted to do this because..."

What kind of question is that? Gulf had said it clearly, hadn't he? All wives; he is a wife too. A rather pathetic one; but a wife nonetheless.

"You, my King, are my husband and... I am your wife." His whispers ring with truth but they fall on deaf ears like rain over an empty but closed pot. "I wish for your goodwill."

"The only will I have is somehow throw you out before you cast some witchcraft. I hear you add rabbit hair to the pudding. What are you going to add next? Crow skull?"

When will his husband stop being so hurting? Gulf did no such thing; not that Mew even tried to taste what he made.

"Rabittaire is a sweet herb, my lord. You are purposely hurting me."

"Yes, I am."

Gulf do not know what to do with that statement. So, he keeps quiet.

"I do not want you see, much less touch my picture, Gulf."

Gulf nods.

The man was absent on the Bleeding Twilight and when he requested a picture he was denied. The message was clear.

He feels a presence right in front of him and rustling of clothes. Gulf quickly blinks back his tears and takes a quick sniff to stop his nose from watering too much. What if his husband asks him to look up?

"You are nothing to me, Gulf." Oh, dear Grenla, why cannot he stop hearing these words. "You are just someone who is here to..."

A finger tips his head up and after so many lonely days and nights, Gulf sees the face of his husband and also... a red brown mark on the side of his neck; a lover's hurt. Gulf knows what that insinuates and he wants to sob so bad. The liquid in Gulf's eyes magnifies the beauty of those dark chocolate pools.

With a quick sweep of the said eyes all over his handsome husband's face, the poor boy closes them, not strong enough to hear the rest of the unsaid sentence right to his face. He will pretend this as another nightmare. He shivers when a tear drop escapes the pool and slithers down his rosy cheeks.

The finger under his chin shakes and then he feels coldness when the imposing figure of Mew takes a few steps back.

"You are... very good at what you do, aren't you, Temptress?"

For the first time ever, since he stepped in this prison cellar, Gulf wants to giggle. Temptress? Gulf?

Tempt who?

His husband pacing in front of him who is disgusted by Gulf's mere existence? Tempt a man who has already sated his sexual appetite with his chosen one?

"Too bad; I am a man of honour. You disgust me."

"I am sorry, my lord. Disgusting you was never my intention. I thought... you wanted me. I apologize for you feel... so..."

'So' is such a heavy two letters from Gulf's mouth; that the weight settles on his heart refusing to leave.

Gulf does not really know how deep Mew's disgust runs and he is happy that he is a mere mortal who cannot read minds. If the words really cannot convey the feeling of a man, then... Gulf is happy he is ignorant.

What he has learned through words is enough.

"Wanted you? Want..." Mew laughs again. "Must be a new experience to get rejected, right, harlot?"

Who is Harlot?

Gulf opens his mouth but the Royal Valet enters holding a scroll. "I have a happy news, my Emperor. Your..." The eyes shift to the boy on the floor and the old man clears his throat. "... is here."

Mew quickly takes the scroll and Gulf for the first time sees the smile that he saw in the magazines; the smile he irrevocably fell in love; the smile that messed up his mind; the smile Gulf thought he will be reason for Mew to do often...

That smile belongs to someone else though; but still so beautiful... like the Rising Sun from the loving embrace of his beloved Moon Goddess.

Mew leaves with the Royal Valet and the huge man, leaving Gulf cold on the floor. The sound of the closing door reverberates the empty bedroom.

And this Bleeding Twilight, all Gulf had prayed for was to bless Mew with reasons to smile.

Gulf does not know anymore. This man proclaimed his love for him to his mother and father. He asked for Gulf's hand in marriage... then they loved each other through letters for 39 days before Mew's Royal Matrimony Scroll reached his home, then for another 39 days they loved some more before Mew came to take Gulf to... this prison.

Gulf had given his King hundreds of his portraits in this short period but when Gulf asked for one...

What wrong had he done in the time between receiving of the letter and the marriage ceremony?

Gulf falls to his bed and pulls the silk pillow to his chest, letting it soak his warm salty tears. He wants to be the reason of Mew's smile so bad. He loves him so much and to have him just near yet so far is killing him slowly.

"I love you, P'Mew. Love me back please. I have no one else but you. An... and... you... pr... promised. Please... P'Mew... I will... I will do everything you want... Please... don't reject me."

Gulf does not know what to do at this situation.

Every day despite doing nothing at all, he is exhausted; despite seeing little to no one, he is scared; despite being in this beautiful room, he feels imprisoned.

The King does not visit him for several days and Gulf even starts to hear silence. He gets an epiphany that the silence of all silences and noise of all the noises hears the same to the brain.

Gulf takes a gulp of bitterwood juice. The healer has said this will take care of his dizziness. He accidently toppled over the chair when the guard had come to deliver some papers for Gulf to draw.

For some reason, the guard has warmed up to him a bit and gotten him papers and a feather pen with his own money. Gulf is yet to receive the ten gold coins a day in his hands. He never asked where that goes. After all that is the payment by his husband not to show his face. Of course, Gulf does not ask where that money goes.

Gulf sits by the window staring at the Moon Goddess with a soft smile. There are people on the moon too and they do not walk but fly; Gulf chuckles at the absurd things his country people say back at ho... no, not home.

This prison is his home, now.

His country people also says a person getting married at the eve of third planet cycle will be cherished for lives to come. A planet cycle is five years long and Gulf being the 'luckiest' ever is, got married on the eve of third planet cycle.

Yes! He is cherished so much; by his mother, his new father, now his husband who is also an Emperor.

He hears heavy knocks on his door and recognizes the heavy staff of the guard. "I am not hungry, yet. Than..." He opens the door and freezes when he sees the Emperor along with the guard. "My liege." Gulf kneels down, keeping his head low.

"You cannot skip meals." The Emperor shouts and he nods.

"The valets do not arrange Empress' meals anymore, Supreme Commander." The guard announces.

"What?! So, what does he eat?"

The question is not directed at him, so Gulf's attention is lost to the black squares on Mew's shoes.

One, two, three, four...

"Empress prepares his own food after the kitchen rushes are over."

"So, he gets something to eat. Good. I can't have him dead... yet." The Emperor amends when he sees Gulf twitch.

"Only if the Empress is hungry. Your loyal servant, lets your beloved Empress know when the kitchen is empty."

Beloved Empress!

Gulf does not know how the guard could be so sarcastic without any change in tone.

"He looks okay to me. Are you?"

Gulf nods.

"Stand up!" Gulf stands up but he sways a bit when squares of Mew's shoes blink in front of him. He steps back when the Emperor seeks an entrance. "Bitterwood juice?"

Gulf blushes bright red when the man takes a sip of his half-drunk glass. Is that a kiss? Gulf can feel the touch of Mew's lips on his and he squirms in his place.

"Bitter!" Mew scrunches his face and Gulf really does not mean to giggle.

Goddess, the Emperor looks so funny.

"Aw! Bllllrrrrrr..." Mew shakes his head and Gulf laughs again. Gulf drinks that just fine without so much drama. Mew is so funny.

"Are you mocking me?" Mew glares at the laughing boy and Gulf bites hard on his bottom lip. "The juice is bitter!"

"It is the 'bitter'wood juice, my King." Gulf mumbles with a small smile and the Guard hides his laughter in coughs behind his black helmet.

"You have a very ugly laugh. Your mouth is all ugly and too open. Ever tried covering your face?" That effectively wipes the happiness from Gulf's heart and he ducks his head again.

Gulf never knew that his laughter is ugly. No one ever told him. Then again, Gulf does not laugh much. Ever since his dad died... the world had been too grey except with his 'times' with 'Mew'. Now he is really with Mew, he thinks his world is turning greyer day after day. Gulf is afraid one day everything will turn black and Gulf will wonder if he is blind.

"Leave."

"Yes, Supreme Commander." The guard leaves and Gulf really wants to follow that metal man too. How pathetic is he, to feel more at ease with a person he has never seen face of, than his own husband?

Gulf's mom will be so mad at him for making Mew think that he was mocking him. He was not. Mew was so... adorable.

"I was not making fun of you, my King. I..." Find you adorable. "... am sorry that the juice is bitter. I will pour you a glass of sweet wine, my lord."

Gulf quickly takes another glass and fills from the goblet. The flavours of yellow water berries will help his husband forget the bitterness.

Mew takes a cautious sip and Gulf smiles at the surprised look on his husband's face.

"You have a very ugly smile too. I almost feel sorry for you." Mew keeps his unnerving eyes on Gulf and takes another big gulp.

Gulf blushes in embarrassment and wishes he could squeeze his ears shut like he could with his eyes. Why the Goddess Grenla does not give lids to mortal's ears?

"I have never had this drink before. Where did you find it?"

"I... uh made it, My lord."

Mew glares.

"I found some overly ripened water berries in the kitchen. I am sorry. I did not know. I will not make them again."

"Make some more. I like it. What else do you make?"

Gulf does not know happiness feels so elevating from his heart. "Mmm... strawberry pastries..."

"Not a fan of cheese or milk." Mew says dryly and Gulf frowns. Then why did Mew ask for his Strawberry pastry on the wedding day?

"... umm... Parshera..."

"Make me one tonight."

Gulf ducks his head and smiles to the floor. "Anything for you, my King."

"You are good at following anything a man says, right? Good, this is how you should smile. No one wants to see those ugly front teeth of yours."

Gulf panics a bit and hides his wrists when the man stands too close. "You must be feeling really good if you can mock me, right?" He feels goose bumps erecting all over his hands at the warm breath on his cheek.

"I laughed because you were adorable. You are the King. Mighty and intimidating... but when you sipped the bitter juice... for a moment, you reminded me of a child. I apologize, my liege, if my laugh offended you."

The silence in the room is suddenly so deafening and Gulf peeks up for a moment to make sure the man is still there. Mew is staring at him and Gulf blushes again.

"Your laugh will offend everyone. No one wants to see such an ugly sight. For a person who sits in front of a mirror half of his life, you are so unaware of your ugliness. Why is that, Gulf?"

"I apologize, my King." Gulf unknowingly takes a step back and the man follows.

"What have you applied on your lips?" Mew leans in and Gulf quickly wipes his lips them with back of his palm after giving a quick lick.

"Nothing, my liege. I was drinking the bitterwood juice before you came into my room."

"You really know how to..." Gulf feels warm breath over his lips. "Such a beau... ugly little thing... how do you manage?"

"I... uh... I just drink in one gulp without..."

"Not that you, dimwit." Gulf blinks back his tears. "Good to know that you drink in one gu..." Mew almost smiles but clears his throat and pushes back with a disgusted face.

"Eat all your meals at proper time. I cannot have you dead. Understand?"

A burst of hope blooms in his heart and the blushing boy ducks his face to hide his small smile. His husband is worried about his health.

Gulf knows everything will be better if Mew wants him to eat and if his husband wants him to eat; Gulf will... even if he is not hungry.

Mew stares a few more moments before leaving the room in a hurry.

"I will make you Parshera tonight, my husband. I love you, P'Mew." Gulf whispers to his empty room with a blushing face and a beautiful smile covered by his palm.