Hey Emo daddies, it's Patrick Stump.

When you're like me, you like to live life on the edge. It's no fun to live a boring, normal life. I like to add a little flare on it, a pinch of excitement.

How do you do this? One might ask. Easy - by being "sassy".

You fans have called me "Sasstrick", speaking out on my random comments in interviews. People seem to like it, so I keep the act alive.

I've recently done something really sassy. Sadly, it's something I don't think I'll be able to be reconciled for.

Let me paint the scene out for you. I was in the shower, minding my own business, and this spider appears.

This spider wasn't your average Joe (Trohman). This thing was giant, it's tall, hairy legs and body just sitting on the floor.

I'm usually pretty appreciative and kind towards animals, but I felt a little vulnerable, naked in the shower.

Anyways, I did not want to be around this spider. This guy was big, gnarly, and creepy looking. I kept splashing water on him to try to get him to move away, but he would not budge. I mean, this guy didn't want to move at all. He was completely content with where he was and I was very uncomfortable with it.

I gave him so many chances. I gave him a lot of little splashes, but got impatient with it and reached for a paper towel or something to hit it with. Just my luck, nothing was there. There was nothing in my reach but a can of hairspray.

I still feel bad about it to this day... but I sprayed it to it's death... It curled up into a ball and squirmed around, writhing in pain. I squished him to put him out of his misery and then let the water carry him down the drain, funeral style.

You never know what kind of life that spider could've had. He could've been a daddy spider, getting food for his sons and daughters. He could've been trying to save his wife. He could've had a rough life, full of hate and pain... and I just brutally murdered him. I'm going to go down in spider-history as the murderer of spiders.

We should give him a name to properly mourn and remember him. Leave a name in the comments.

~Patrick (aka @JennaAmore)