April 2nd, 1990

So, I'm eighteen now and they want their answer. I have yet to go upstairs, because I know what's waiting for me. I am petrified. I am still sitting on my bed in my shorts and a tee, shaking, staring at my door. I've been accepted into multiple colleges. Pristine colleges. My parents are very proud of that fact. I just wish they would see this isn't what I want. I want to leave this hell hole. Find out who I really am. What I want to do with myself. I'm sure one of my brothers would be more than happy to take up the task of running the businesses. Carter tells me all the time how he wishes he was in my shoes. I wish I could just tell him he can take my place. He works around the company too. He knows just about as much as I do, maybe even more.

I've been sitting for over an hour now, debating on if I should go up. So, I think I should at least try to make them happy like I always do. I push myself off the bed and make my way out of my room. the stairs creek under my weight. I wasn't even half way up when Emily's bright smiling face entered the top of the stairs.

"She's coming!" She screams, jumping excitedly away.

She seems to be the only one to get me to smile these days. She's young but seems beyond her years. She has no care in the world but always wants to see people smile. She can make anyone smile. I'm very happy to have her as a sibling. I creep around the corner, checking out the area. Its silent, but I can still hear Emily chatting quietly. I walk into the kitchen slowly, knowing what is about to happen.

"Happy Birthday!"

They all yell, jumping out from behind the counter. I put on a fake smile acting surprised. They do the same thing every year, thinking I never see it coming. Mother places a cake on the island that she baked for me. The one thing I do really love about my mom, she is one of the best bakers I've ever met. Sometimes I wish she would have gone into baking instead. Now that would be a business I would gladly take over. Sounds a lot more fun.

I notice an envelope with my name on it in front of the cake. My mind runs through all the possible letters that could be in that envelope. I try hard to keep a smile on my face, while I'm beginning to break down on the inside.

"Alright, Kaylee, this is for you."

Father hands me the envelope, a smile that takes up his entire face, shining down on me, one that isn't for me, but for this piece of paper. I want to get away from it, run as far as possible. Whatever is in here, is not good. I open it slowly, not sure what to expect. Inside is a simple letter, a golden insignia glistens at the top. I pull it all the way out and set the envelope on the table. I do a quick read though of the letter. I should have seen it coming. In the letter it says my parents will be making me co-owner of the companies. Once I finish college, they will merge, and I will be in charge. I don't know what to say. I try and put on a fake face. My parents' smiles are hurting me, physically crushing me. They think this is something I want. They think this will make me happy. Well I hate it, and it is time to tell them. I can't keep hiding.

"Mother, Father," I start, looking at them with a sad look in my eye and a frown on my face, still holding the letter.

"I know you want me to run the company one day, but...but I don't want to run the company." I slowly back away, after setting down the letter gently on the counter. I'm afraid of what they will say, their smiles have disappeared, replaced with shocked looks.

"This must be the rebel stage we've been told about." My father says looking at my mother.

"Kaylee, this is probably just a phase. You're going to do great things with the company. Now we have to go to work tomorrow for you to sign some paperwork." My mother explains, expecting me to be fine with this, her smile returning. My mother nor my father understand.

"No, I won't be going with you. I will not sign anything. I do not want to work for the company. For you!" I demand, my tone aggravated.

"Do not argue with us. You have been raised better than that." My father says pointing a finger at me.

"No, I've been raised to do what you want, not what I want. I've been raised to do the numbers and calculations of everything but be a kid. I don't even think I had a childhood. It's not fair that the others get one and I don't. I'm done following your rules. I'm not going to college and I'm not working for you." I shout, my voice echoing around the kitchen. I can hear the voice inside my head cheering me on.

"Now, you listen here. You will not talk like that in this house. You are our heir to the company and that is what you will be." My father announces, walking closer to me.

"And that's the only way you treat me. You treat me more like a business partner than your child. I'm eighteen now, I can do what I want. You can't tell me what to do anymore." Tears began to run down my cheeks. They don't even care about my feelings.

"They never did." Now is not the time to hear that stupid voice.

"Do you even know anything about me? Cause I barely know myself. I've followed your orders to a tee. I dress the way you want me to dress. I act how you want me too. I'm just your puppet and I hate it. I'm done."

"We know things about you. We listen to you. We love you." My mother tries to sooth me. Her voice gone soft. It sounds unnatural.

"Okay then what's my favorite color?" I ask, I cross my arms and wait for an answer. When I get none, I ask another.

"What's my favorite book?" Still no answer.

"Favorite food?" They look at me in shock. Neither one of them having anything to say.

"I'm leaving." I scoff in disgust.

I turn on my heel and ran down the stairs before my parents could think. I already had a bag packed. I knew something like this would happen. I pull it out from under my bed and sling it over my shoulders, not before putting on a hoodie. I only had the essentials, when I get to where I want to go, I will get more. I have more than enough money to last me at least five years. Turning eighteen has its perks. Two words: trust fund. My heart races in my chest. Adrenaline pumping through my veins. This is it, now or never. I walk back up the stairs and my parents are still in the kitchen, they look like they are discussing something. They hear me right away and ran to get in front of me. I roll my eyes and stopped. I notice my siblings are gone, I won't be saying goodbye then.

"You're not leaving. We need to talk." My father growls at me.

"I am leaving, you can't stop me. I'm not your puppet anymore." I push past them; my father grabs my arm.

"No!" He roars.

"That is not how this work. You have a future set up for you and you are going to take it." I rip my arm out of his grasps.

"It's not my future, it's yours. I want to plan my own future." I walk to the door. Hand landing on the handle.

"Please don't go, what about your siblings?" I hear my mother speak. I almost didn't recognize it, she sounds soft and wounded.

"Carter will take good care of them. They won't even know I left." I whisper, not turning to look at her.

I open the door, staring outside. It is pouring outside, thunder rang from the Heavens and lightning lights up the sky. I pull my hood over my head and walk into the rain not looking back. It will be the last time anyone in this town will see me.

*April 2nd, 1993*

Three years ago, I ran away from home. I ran away from the only thing I've ever known. I left my family. No one understands why a rich girl would run away from their rich home. I don't need anyone to understand. I don't care if someone knows why I had too. I tried to keep to myself the past few years, keep under the radar. I made some mistakes. Killed a few people. But then I met Sophia and it seemed all my problems disappeared, well most of them. For the first time in my life I had someone who is there for me, listens to me, cares about me. I never knew what that felt like until now. She knows almost everything about me. I say almost because she doesn't know about the voice inside my head that haunts me every night. Every night it tells me how useless I am, how I don't matter. Always finding a way to hurt me. Giving me nightmares that never seem to end. I wish I knew why, but I don't think I'll ever know.

I haven't seen my family since my eighteenth birthday and today is my twenty-first, not that it matters. Drinking age here is much younger. Anyway, I'm glad I haven't seen them, they would only try and get me back or hurt me more than I already am. I'm doing well for myself. I've traveled around, from place to place, trying to find out who I am. I settled for a small town in Germany. I fell in love with the culture and the language. I've been here over a year now and so far, it's been amazing. I've never been so happy and since I came here, nothing bad has happened. I actually feel at home, here with Sophia.

"Guten Morgen" (Good Morning), Sophia greets me as she walks into our room. She has been by my side since I came to this country.

"Guten Morgen." I say sleepily back to her.

I am laying on the twin bed in our apartment. She always wakes me up in the morning. I have found I love to sleep in. Never thought I would. So, Sophia must make sure I'm up, so we can head to work together. She owns a small trinket shop a few blocks from our apartment. When I came she gave me a job instantly, said something about how she could tell I had good character. Whatever that means. I'm just glad I found her. Not that I need a job, but it is nice to not sit around. Now that I have started to establish myself here, I want to earn my keep and not bore myself.

"What do we got going on today, besides work?"

I ask pulling a shirt over my head as I walk into the kitchen. I could smell breakfast being made. Sophia is an amazing cook. She always has breakfast ready in the morning. As well as dinner in the evening. Lunch depending on how the days were going.

"My date is tonight, so I will be leaving the store early." I groan at her answer. I forgot about her date.

"What am I going to do without you?" I fake cry, grabbing her arm and pulling her close to me hugging her waist. She can't hold back her laugh.

"You could come along if you would date his friend." I scoff at her statement.

"No, he's such a jerk. And you know I won't date anyone."

"Yeah cause you're afraid they will become controlling like your parents." I roll my eyes letting go of her and grabbing a plate.

I sit down on the bar stool in front of the counter and scarf down my breakfast.

"Don't eat so fast!" Sophia scolds.

With my mouth full of food, I mimic her. She sends a glare over her shoulder as she starts dishes. Once I finish my food I bring the plate over and put it in the sink with the other soapy dishes. I notice a discomfort look on her face.

"What's wrong?" I ask leaning back against the counter next to the sink.

"umm..." She starts, letting the wash cloth drop into the bubbly water.

"Yes?"

"Umm... So, I know you don't like parents or the idea, but my parents want to come visit for a weekend." She finishes. I stare at her for a moment before answering.

I scratch the back of my head quick, "No that's fine. I can't stop your parents from wanting to see you. I'm sure I can find something to do that weekend. So, I can stay out of your hair." I say nervously.

"Well actually they want to meet you." She seems to wince away from me. Like she fears my answer.

"Oh." Is all I can get out. I don't know how to answer. She's told me a lot about her parents, they seem nice. I just don't trust any type of authority. I do what I want now, and I don't want someone older, who thinks they know best, to come in and take my freedom away.

I make up an excuse to leave the room. I don't bother asking when they are coming, it doesn't matter. I walk back into the bedroom and sit on my bed. I put my elbows on my knees and prop my head up with my hands. Letting out a sigh, I begin to think about my parents. It's been so long since I have seen them. Do I think about them, yes on occasion. I think of my siblings more. I'm sure Carter is now in his second or third year of college and is in the process of co-owning the company. My parents are probably very proud that someone wants to run the business. Emily, my baby sister, I think about her a lot. I have no doubt she is getting all the love I never did. I have no doubt she is achieving great things. I'm sure my parents are very proud of their younger children. I wouldn't be surprised if they completely took me out of the picture and not just figuratively but literarily. I'm sure they took me out of every family picture that ever existed. That's fine with me. I'm glad I ran off. I have my own life finally. I can do whatever I want and it's great.

"Kaylee, we need to get to the shop." I hear Sophia yell through the door.

I give a low groan and yell back, "I'm coming."

I trudge my way out the door and follow her out to the car. I can still see the sadden look on her face. Like I screamed at her or something. I lounge back in the passenger seat, waiting for her to turn on the vehicle and drive. After a minute it's still off. I give her a funny look.

"If you don't want to meet my parents you can just say so." She finally lets out in one breath.

"You act like we are dating, and I need to make a good impression on them." I say sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I know, but I talk about you a lot, and they would just like to see how great you are in person." She explains.

"I'm not that great." I point out.

"Ain't that the truth."

"What are you talking about? You are amazing." She corrects, looking over at me. Her bright sky-blue eyes sparkling at me. The look she give whenever she doesn't want to argue anymore. I roll my eyes and look away, knowing I will fail at keeping my ground.

"I have my flaws just like everyone else." I elaborate for her, keeping my eyes focused out the window, looking at the garage wall.

"Well sure, everyone does, but your flaws don't make you not great. They make you who you are."

"Aw she's trying to make you feel better." I can't help scrunching my face in anger at the voice in my head.

"Are you okay?" Sophia notices.

I give her a quick look, "Yeah I'm fine." I say quickly.

"Can we get to work now?" I quickly say before she can get another word in. Her head looks forward and she starts the engine. I look back out the window, bringing my foot up on the seat and leaning my knee against the door panel.

"One day she will find out your secret. She will find out about how crazy you really are. Just wait, you'll have no one. Just like before."

All I want to do is scream at myself. I'm fucking 22years old and I still feel like I'm taking orders from my parents. I can't doanything without snide remarks from this stupid voice I'm trying to run from. Ihave come to realize that monsters don't sleep under your bed, they sleep inyour head. My head has become a dangerous place, and I'm scared of it. Whathave I done in life to fear my own mind? Because its right. If anyone were tofind out, they would leave me behind. If Sophia were to find out, I'd lose her.I'd be alone again. She would fear me. I have done some things I'm not proud ofsince I left home. Most of which I don't even realize it was me doing it. Mostof them felt like a dream, until I realized it wasn't. It's almost as if meleaving home is where it started to get worse. I've become dangerous. My mindis, yet sometimes it seems to leak into reality and causes havoc. Then after ithappens, and I realize what I did, the voice starts to laugh. An evil chuckle.Now that is scarier than anything, when it laughs.