Kora

I stood in front of Grace's door, calling her number again. It kept on ringing, but as always, she didn't take my calls. I exhaled. So far so good, my hands were still trembling. Not as much as they were three hours ago, but I could still feel them tremble. My legs were shaky too. I had almost spent the whole night crying, and I just didn't think I had any tears left. I was too tired, I just needed my best friend. I just needed to talk to someone, so I could forget about how horrible my night was. I tried to push back the tears in my eyes that threatened to fall. If I had to cry, I didn't think I needed to do it outside, right in front of Grace's room, especially since I was not sure she was even inside. I remember she had texted me back yesterday, after I had called her over a hundred times, and she didn't pick, to tell me she was sick and had gone home, but I had no idea why I had found myself in front of her door now. For some reason I just wanted to pretend she was inside. I just wanted to talk to anyone, I needed to distract myself from all the crazies that had happened to me.

I knocked at her door again, holding my breath, even though I knew I was basically wasting my time knocking at the door of an empty room. I exhaled. That was enough. Enough time wasting. I turned to leave, and then I heard a click, and then another one, right before the door opened. I turned quickly. Grace looked so surprised to see me. It was like she didn't even guess the possibility that I was the one outside her room. I thought she wasn't coming back to school until the weekend. How come she was there? I narrowed my gaze to her hands.  Her phone was right in her hands. Had she been intentionally ignoring my calls?

"K-kora." By the way she stammered, I was sure her guilty conscience was stepping in. I forced a smile on my face, pretending not to notice or care. Pretending like I wasn't bothered, or going to ask her questions. The last thing I needed was her getting scared of me.

"Can I come in?" I asked her.

She hesitated for a while. I could notice the frown on her face, as she looked at me for a second, like she was trying to think whether she should let me inside or not.

"Please Grace." I sniffed, still with my smile. "I have no where else to go."

I desperately needed to be around someone.

Three seconds. She looked at me for three extra seconds before she stepped away from the door.

"Sure." She gestured for me to come in. I didn't hesitate. I hurried in as fast as I could, rubbing my arms. It felt so good to be somewhere else that wasn't my room once again. It felt like forever.

"Woah." I was pretending so hard like everything was okay. "It feels like I've not been in here forever." I looked around the room like it was any different from what it used to be. "I must have lost all my memories these past few days. I can't believe how mean you are. I was there for you all the time you had a black card, and you can't even bother to check on me now that I got one."

I exhaled, and then turned to face her. I noticed how she was trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"Is that your definition of a good friendship?"

"Would you like anything?" She tried to cut me off, rubbing her hands on her sides, and then turning around to leave, while I slowly found my way to the closest couch I could find. I slowly sat down on it, my elbows on my knees, and my eyes glued to her. "I have apple juice."

"Are you mad at me?"

She paused the moment I said those words. I watched her take deep breaths, making some calculations in her head before she turned back to me.

"W-what?" She looked so surprised that I had asked that, even when I had every right to.

"Did I do something wrong?" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again, and I tried to push it back with a smile on my face, even if it was getting so hard.  "I can't help but feel I must have done something to make you act this way towards me. It's pretty obvious you've been ignoring and avoiding me."

"Kora," she took a step towards me. "I'm not avoiding you."

I exhaled. Did she really expect me to believe that?

"I'm just going through so much on my own, and would like my own space to figure some things out."

I scoffed, and then turned to my fingers I was already playing with.

"You know, if I did something, anything at all that you didn't like. Anything at all to make you feel this way about me, all you have to do is tell me and I'll apologize." It was really hard now to keep my emotions in check. I was already losing it. A drop of tear fell from my eyes. "The past few days have been hell for me. I thought I was strong enough. That If I just ignored everyone, I could get past it. There have been so much I've been dying to tell you, sometimes I just want to not feel alone or feel that I'm in it alone." I swallowed hard, and then took a deep breath.

"I think you were right." My voice broke. "I think I have feelings for Jeremiah, and I don't know what those feelings are, or what to do with them." A drop of tear fell from my eyes. "I don't know what's worse, that I have these feelings for someone who barely even cares what happens to me, or the fact that the signs are right in front of me, but I can't just listen to them and stay away. I go to him when he asks me to, even when I know I shouldn't, even when it means I get to put myself in danger, and I worry about him all the time. even when he hurts me. Even when I know I shouldn't, I try to hate him. I want to hate him, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't bring myself to." I looked into her eyes as more tears began to fall from mine. I opened my mouth again to speak. but words failed me. "I- " I was breathing too fast, to even speak properly.

"I think I'm in love with someone that can never love me back, and I'm scared. I don't know what to do anymore, or how to feel about this feeling."

I took a deep breath. "I'm scared. I'm scared I've unintentionally made yet another wrong decision about who to love." My hands were back to trembling again, and this time I couldn't stop it. I slowly raised my head to Grace. She was staring at me, while I was staring back at her with my wet tear- filled eyes. My voice was shaky.

"I keep making the wrong choices and hurting myself all the time. I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't think I can take it anymore. I'm really scared, Grace." My tears began to fall uncontrollably. I couldn't help myself. I was back to crying loudly again. Grace exhaled, and then walked up to me as fast as she could.

"Come here." She pulled me into her embrace, and then hugged me, patting my back while I cried on her shoulders. I couldn't stop myself. "It's fine." She told me.

"I'm here now." She kept whispering to me, but I couldn't stop. I wished I could, but I couldn't. I cried even harder. "It's alright. You're going to be fine." She whispered into my hair. "Everything is going to be alright."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Jeremiah

Home.

That was how her house felt like. Small, under furnished, but home. I had never forgotten that feeling. I always loved the tiny house my mother and I used to live in when I was little, before we got kicked out in the cold streets. It wasn't the best of houses, or the biggest, heck we barely owned a chair or a bed. or a gas cooker, but Mum knew exactly how to turn our little house into a home, just like she did with this new place. Although, the house I was looking at, wasn't as bad as the one I had grown up in. With a little bit of furnishing here and there, it felt good to know she was living okay. I loved how clean the house was. Mum always loved to keep the house clean.

"Sit down, and wait till the rain stops."
I slowly turned to her at the sound of her voice. She gestured to one of the couches behind me. "I'm going to call Emmanuel and let him know you're here. I'll ask him to come get you immediately."

"I thought I was supposed to stay here until the rain stopped?"

"You said you only wanted five minutes didn't you? It's going to take Emmanuel about thirty minutes to get here. That's enough time for you to get warm."

As always, she couldn't wait to get rid of me. It was actually starting to get cute.

"What?" She noticed the bright smile on my face.

"Nothing." I shook my head. "I'm just wondering how on earth I got such a beautiful mother."

She frowned harder.

"Do you want to leave?"

I turned my smile on my lips to a tiny purse.

"I'd just take a sit." I turned around to where the couches were. Was it really that hard to get her to smile, even if it was for a little bit? "Aren't you going to offer me anything?" I asked her, turning to face her first, before I sat down. "I'm your guest you know. A very special one."

"There's nothing."

"Not even water?"

"Didn't you drink enough from the rain?"

I scoffed, and then folded my legs. Stretching my arms one after the other, on the both sides of the couch.

"How about food?" I asked her. "I think I'm really hungry." I slowly reached for my belly, and then rubbed it, pouting and pretending like I was hurting. "I'm actually craving your food. Your jollof rice. Your yam and egg sauce too.

"There's a restaurant down the street." She told me. "Get some food before you leave."

I exhaled. and then raised my face back to her as I sat straight. This was getting really exhausting. Until when was she going to be like this? Was it really that hard to actually cook for me.

"Aren't you too old to be so stubborn?" I asked her, pouting and trying to act like I wasn't hurt at all. "I'm really not making this up. My belly is really hurting. I've not eaten all day, and I think I got stabbed earlier." I said. "Why won't you cook for your son? You don't know how much I've missed your food." I murmured loud enough for her to hear me. She just stood there staring at me. She didn't look like she believed anything I said. I exhaled. I guess I just had to make her believe me. I just had to show her. I cleared my throat and then reached for my jacket, pulling it off, one hand after the other, so it could expose the red stain on my white shirt, around my belly region. I really was not joking. I had a stab wound I had obviously gotten while trying to save Kora. One of those guys had stabbed me as I tried to fight them off, and I didn't even realize it until I had left the room. I didn't even know I was bleeding that much. Enough to turn a quarter of my uniform to red.

She rushed to me quickly.

"What happened to you?" She squatted right in front of me and raised my shirt quickly to look. I winced in pain because it stung a little. "You're bleeding a lot."

I raised my eyes to her. I could see the worry on her face. Seeing her worry like that brought an unintentional smile to my face. It made my heart flutter.

"How did this happen to you? What am I supposed to do?" She passed a finger on the cut, and I didn't even notice, because I was just lost staring at her face. It looked like she was examining the wound. "How on earth did this happen?"

She exhaled in frustration, and then raised her head to me, like she wanted to see if I was okay. My smile widened, and then she sneered.

"How did this happen to you?!" She yelled at me. "Who did you fight with this time?"

I scoffed.

"Who said I fought with anyone?" I asked her. "Your son doesn't go around looking for trouble, you know. Even though you weren't there to raise me, I thought myself only the right things. See, I got this wound trying to do the right thing. Trying to save a friend."

"Why would you go and save someone, only to get hurt like this? Did you plan to die with this friend of yours?!" Why was she yelling at me?

"Why are you yelling at me?" I asked her. "You should be proud of me for trying to fight the bad guys."

She exhaled. and the shook her head. She looked like she was going to cry, out of frustration.

"What on earth am I going to do with you?" She turned back to the wound. "No, this won't do. I have to call Emmanuel right now to take you to the hospital." She tried to get up. "If anything happens to you, I won't hear the last of it from your family."

I grabbed her arm to stop her from going anywhere else.

"No." She looked at me. "You don't have to do that. The wound is not that deep."

"You're bleeding hard, e na sí the wound is not that deep. What am I supposed to do if it gets worse or infected?"

"That's why you're here isn't it? You were a nurse for six years. You know how to stitch a wound. This is a piece of cake to you."

She scoffed.

"You must be out of your mind." She told me. "I've not practiced in years. I'm not doing this with you, I'm calling Emmanuel right now." She wasn't listening. She got up and then turned to leave, pulling her hand from mine. I shut my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. "Put on your coat."

"Mum please!" I yelled at her. Silence.

It was the first time. The first time I had ever yelled at her. The way she froze, and refrained from taking another step, I could tell I had shocked her. I must have scared her a lot. "Can you just listen to me?" I went on. She slowly turned to look at me. "I don't want to go to the hospital." I told her, a huge frown covering my face now. "I can't go to the hospital."

"Jidenna!" She yelled my second name out loud, glaring at me. Good thing she could still remember. Jidenna was all she ever called me. It was what used to be my name, before my father gave me the name I was popularly known by, Jeremiah. Jidenna became just a name in my birth certificate. The name before my last name.

I exhaled. She was scared. I could see it in her eyes.

"Mum, please." I tried to remain calm. There was no point yelling at her anyway. "You can't let them know, because they are going to start asking questions, and if they found out how I got it, they are going to blame her for it. Everyone is going to hate her again. They won't let her live, especially those in school."

Now that I was talking so fast, the wound was beginning to sting a lot. I groaned softly. It was only her. She was the only one that could help me at that point. She had to help me. I wished she would, I could see how she was hesitating, even with her eyes glued at me. That must have been yet another difficult choice she had to make. She exhaled.

"I'll go get the first aid box." She told me. I let out a relief exhale. "Stay still."

Thank Goddess. I tried to sit up straight. That was good news.

Thank God.