Lady K

Knock! Knock!

Oma slowly let go of her Pomeranian dog when she heard the creaking sound of her door as it opened. It had been a habit, holding onto her puppy and rubbing its fur to pet her whenever she needed to think about anything. It had been a rough week for her, more like a rough year and she found herself lost in her thoughts every now and then. A lot had happened that she needed time getting used to. It was almost like her whole world was turning upside down all of a sudden and it felt so suffocating.

Her dog scurried away the moment Amanda walked inside, taking her time, her hands folded beneath her breast and her eyes glued to Oma. She drew a deep breath and then took a quick scan around Oma's properly arranged room. If there was one thing she loved about Oma, it was her ability to always keep everything about her so neat and organized. She didn't even need a maid to do so. She couldn't stand being in an untidy or disorganized environment. All her books were arranged neatly on the small shelf beside her reading table and her bed was neatly laid. Amanda turned back to Oma who just watched her, wondering why she was there at that time of the night? Was she finding it hard to sleep just as she was?

"Can we talk?"

Oma shrugged her shoulders and sat up. Not like she was busy doing anything anyway. Maybe it was good if she actually talked to someone. Her life was getting lonelier by the second. She could really need the company.

Amanda saw Oma's silence as an invitation to join her. She walked slowly to Oma's bed and sat in it. Right beside her.

"Is there something I need to know?" Oma kept her eyes on her. She could see how Amanda had given her joined hands a lot of attention as she rubbed her fingers against each other, with a huge frown on her face. She could sense something was bothering her. Amanda drew a deep breath and then looked up, she let herself smile a little bit.

"I just got a call from Benjamin Ozor." She told her. Oma rose her left brow. That wasn't surprising. Why? "He wants us to go on with plans for your traditional wedding with Jeremiah. He thinks it should be held in seven days."

Oma lowered her gaze.

"Oh." She had not seen that coming at all. On a normal day, a news like that would have excited her a lot but after everything that had happened, after talking to Kingsley, she wasn't so sure about how she felt about anything anymore. She wasn't sure how to feel about the news and Amanda could see it. She wasn't so excited as she hoped she would. She pushed herself closer to Oma. "What do you think?" She asked her.

"What did you tell him?"

"That I would think about it, and ask you if you're okay with it of course. Are you ready for it? If you're not, I could call him back and tell him you're not ready-"

"No," Oma cut her off, letting her face and mood brighten a little bit. "I'm ready." She rose her eyes to Amanda. "Tell them we'd be ready."

Amanda exhaled.

"Oma-"

"I just want to get this done and over with and move on. It was gone on way too long."

"Oma, it's okay to not want this. You know that right,? it's okay to ask for more time. There's no need to rush things, if you need some time to think it through-"

"There's nothing to think about." Oma assured her. "Jeremiah is my soulmate. We've been engaged for practically all my life, I've waited for this moment forever, I want this. I should get married to him."

"Do you want to get married to him?"

Oma paused. She took a minute, looking into her mother's eyes. For the first time she was hesitating when she was asked a question like that. She let out a shaky breath and then turned to her joined fingers, she rubbed them against each other.

"It's all up to you Oma, you're the only one that can decide what you really want. You're old enough now, you can stop this if you want, it's your choice."

"It was what Dad wanted. It was his last wish, he wanted me to get married to Jeremiah and be a part of their family. He always wanted to reunite our families. I want this. I've known Jeremiah all my life, getting married to him is all I've ever wanted, it's been all I've ever wanted to do, granting Dad's last request to me."

Amanda exhaled.
She didn't even know where to start. She slowly reached for Oma's hands and held on tightly to them. Oma froze, she looked at their joined hands as she felt a cold breeze pass through her. She had never felt her mother's hands on hers in a long time, Fredrick's office was the first time and this was the second time. Second time since Amanda had abandoned her and her father all those years ago to be with that man she met. She had never let Amanda get so close to her. She rose her head slowly to Amanda's so she could look into Amanda's eyes. Amanda squeezed her hands.

"My beautiful girl." She let a tiny smile appear on her face. "It must have been so hard for you haven't it?"

Oma let out a tiny scoff.

"What are you even talking about-"

"I'm talking about when I left," Amanda cut her off. "I'm talking about when I left you all alone with your father."

"Why are you bringing that up now?"

"I'm sorry." She told her, Oma froze for a second. It was the first time. The first time Amanda ever said those words to her. What was she apologizing for?

"I'm sorry I left you all those years ago to carry all this burden on your own. I'm sorry I was a terrible mother heck, I don't even deserve to be called your mother, you're such a lovely soul and you don't deserve me. I know I can't make up for all the times we lost, for all the time I had abandoned you and I can't blame you for it. I can't go back in time but I want to make it right. I want to be here now. I know you won't believe me and I know it's going to take a lot of time to gain your trust again but I'm going to do everything I can to prove myself to you, I'm never going to leave you again. I won't let you do this on your own. You're still so young and you still have so much to do with your life. I know how obedient you are to your father and I know just how much his last wishes mean to you, I also know that your father loved you very much and would never make you do anything against your wish, anything that would hurt you even if it means he has to go back on his word and promises. I've seen marriages Oma and I've seen marriages fail, even the happiest ones. I've seen loneliness and I know exactly how it feels to be lonely, I don't want that for you. I don't want you to be unhappy at any point of your life. You deserve to be happy and getting married to someone that doesn't love you, someone you don't love isn't going to guarantee your happiness. You've seen how it is, you saw how it was with your father and I-"

"Jeremiah and I are not like you and Dad, we'd never be like you and Dad,"

"Maybe." She shrugged her shoulders. "But Jeremiah likes someone else and you know that. Are you sure his feelings are going to change when he gets married to you? What if he only gets worse? Are you really going to bet the rest of your life on it? Are you ready to live the rest of your life with someone who already has someone else in his heart? Oma," she paused. "You are beautiful, you're smart and really hardworking, you're young and you still have so much more to accomplish. I want you to live your life to its fullest, to get to do the things I and your father couldn't. You deserve to meet someone, a good man that would love you and make you feel better about yourself, a man that would give you peace, fight for you and look at you the way Jeremiah looks at Kora. You deserve everything. Falling in love with someone and having them love you back is the greatest feeling on earth and I want you to experience that. Getting married to Jeremiah or anyone at all should be something you want to do out of love and not out of responsibility. You don't owe me or your father anything but your happiness. All we ever wanted, the only reason we worked so hard to get to where we are right now, was because of you, because we wanted you to be happy. It's okay to let go, it's okay to admit defeat, it doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're strong and wise. No one is going to hate or blame you for doing something you really want to do, your father is not going to hate you or roll in his grave because you didn't live up to his expectations, he's going to proud of you, proud of the choice you made to go after your own happiness. Are you sure getting married to Jeremiah is going to make you happy? Are you happy right now?"

Oma sniffed.
She was holding back a lot of tears now. She held on tightly to her mother's hands.

"Chioma?"
A drop of tear fell from her eyes when her mother called her by her full name. Hearing her mother call her that again brought a lot of sad memories back. She remembered how she had changed her name from Chioma to Omachukwu after her mother left because she hated that name. It was the name her mother gave to her, the name her mother always called her. Chioma.

"Mum," her voice broke. "Mum," she rose her head to look at Amanda. "Mum I'm sorry." She started to cry. "I'm really sorry."

Amanda let out a shaky breath and pushed herself closer to Oma, she hugged Oma immediately and wrapped her arms around her, patting her head. Oma grabbed on to her shoulders, burying her face in it and crying her eyes out. She was going through a conflict of emotions and she just needed that hug badly.

"Mum,"

"It's okay," Amanda told her, rubbing her back. "It's okay my darling." Amanda sniffed. She had tears in her eyes too. This was all she had ever prayed and waited for. A moment like this, a moment where she got reunited with her daughter like this. She shut her eyes.

"It's okay."