As expected, the news spread around school like wildfire.

"Fiera got a girl suspended."

"Fiera almost got framed for stabbing Ms. Greene."

"Fiera is so definitely dating Christopher. He winked at her in Chemistry."

Fiera, this! Fiera, that! Fiera and Christopher, this! Christopher and Fiera, that! These people made it sound like it was a crime to be even associated with him! Nobody could understand how hard it was to have to listen to all this and not retort. I was afraid I would blurt out something that was true for once.

I just had to get through one more day of school. One more, and then vacations. Through the stares, paper balls being flung at me, tripping on smooth floor, randomly feeling my breath go away. The Air users were terrifying. I'd felt what it was like to gasp for my life in the Trials— I didn't want to go through that again. Despite the devastating ankle sprain, the beatings, the constant pain throughout it all— it was still the feeling of my lungs collapsing on nothing that terrified me the most. I remembered clawing at my throat, with barely enough energy to lunge at Anita and take her down.

Eric and Flo were surprisingly protective. It felt good to unload some of this on them, to rant and rave. They met me at my class. I'd been sweetly forbidden to walk the length of the school towards the exit on my own. Heartwarming, but a bit over the top.

They came to Anchor to study again, and seemed irritated as I got up to leave the table when I spotted Christopher. I frowned as Eric's face darkened. "He's doing me a favour by helping you two. Please be nice to him."

Eric's facial expression didn't soften but I could see my words register in his eyes. Flo erased the worry off her face and nodded as I turned to head in. If Brett noticed I was down while working, he didn't say a word. However I could see the confusion on his face when I didn't reply to any of Christopher's taunts, or even talk to him beyond the bare necessities to take his order.

I knew he was worried. I hadn't picked up his calls since yesterday or replied to a single text. And now, the passive aggressive treatment. I know I shouldn't treat him like this, but what I'm going to do to him won't be easy on me either. I could feel my entire body revolt each time I tried to think about how to go about it. I felt disgusted with myself even though it was the right thing to do now.

My friends refused to leave till my shift ended. They didn't want a repeat of yesterday. Christopher was silent as I left with the two trailing behind me. He'd made a joke or two about being overprotective, but those weren't received very well by Eric. I had to give him props for being able to stay social all evening.

I hated that my friends had to see me like this. It would soon be over. I just had to hold out for a day or two. Then I can talk to Christopher.

Collapsing onto the bed once I reached home, my eyes aimlessly wandered the ceiling as I let my mind drift. I was almost on the verge of falling asleep when my doorbell rang. Confusion passed through me, followed by my gut roiling as I realised who it might be.

I couldn't meet Christopher's eyes as I opened the door for him. Barely smiling at him as he walked in. I brushed past his hug, and ignored his kiss as I walked into the dining room. This would be hard enough to do without being reminded of why I liked him in the first place.

"What is it?" Christopher spoke slowly as I decided to stand behind the dining table. "Did I do something?" Opposite to him. Away from him.

I sighed softly. My hand rubbed my face as I stalled for times before I looked up. His eyes scanned me with worry. "You... You didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I think it's better if we... if we don't continue this."

Christopher's entire being stiffened, his colour faded away. "Why?" He whispered.

My hands tightened on the wood of the chair as I forced words out through the lump forming in my throat. "I don't like hiding us. I don't like doing this. I don't like the entire idea of this relationship. It was doomed from the beginning."

Christopher sighed. He walked to the table to stand exactly opposite me. "Fiera, we aren't your parents. Our elements aren't at war anymore."

I shook my head. "That's not what I'm trying to say. I'm saying I can't do this anymore. The rumours, the stares, the hatred from your fanclub or whatever."

"What? What fanclub?"

"Don't tell you have no idea what's been going on?" The clueless look on his face confirmed it. "Well, I guess you're not at fault for not knowing... but there have been..." Attacks? Nah, too strong. "Uh, well, basically..." Within the next five minutes I tried to explain what I could about what had been going on with me. The clueless look on his face slowly morphed into one of disgust and surprise.

"I... I..." He bent his head, hands tightened on the back of the chair "I had no idea. I'm sorry."

My heart twisted. "It's not your fault, Christopher. Please, don't feel guilty."

He looked up, guilt in his eyes. "How is it not my fault? I should have known this would happen."

"No one could have predicted this. I mean, you're finally single after two years. No one wants to believe you'd get into a relationship so soon." I paused. "Or that's what Flo tells me atleast. I... I also feel like we jumped into this too soon."

"I did say that we should have gone on dates." He gave me a smile I didn't want to acknowledge.

"And get my life choked out of me in school? No thanks." The smile vanished into a grimace. Guild shot through me. "Sorry. Anyway... it's better if we don't try anything atleast till I come out as a Royal."

Panic passed through his eyes. He started to round the table as he spoke. "Fiera, please don't do this to me."

I started to back away at the same pace. "I have no choice. I am tired of this. It has to stop."

"I-it will!" I'd never heard him stammer before. "I'll-I'll stop coming to Anchor! I'll stop this, I swear!"

I grimaced. "I like you coming to Anchor, but it would be preferable if you stopped." I was now where he'd been standing but he was closing in. Longer strides. "Make it easier on us."

"Us?! What 'us'?! Make it easier on you!" He was just a metre away from me now. "Don't you understand that doing this is just making it worse?!"

"Yes, but don't you understand that doing 'us'—" I gestured to the depleting space between us "—is making it worse for me?!"

Christopher moved forward in a sudden burst that surprised me. His hand wrapped around mine, and I was pulled to him. My hand landed on his collarbone as I was tugged forward. My wide eyes were on his furious face. "Stop running away from me." He growled.

"I'm just..." I swallowed as I struggled to look anywhere but his dark eyes "I'm just maintaining... conversable distance."

"Across the table?"

"Conversable."

"This is conversable too."

"This is... uncomfortable. In more ways than one."

Christopher smirked. My admission had been inadvertent and he knew it. I was pulled closer, my face turned away from him. "Can't we... Can't we give this more time? Vacations have started, you won't have to deal with that kind of shit anymore."

"It's not going to stop, Christopher. It was only restricted to school for now, but I don't trust anyone to not bring it into my work or my personal life." Not that I have much of a life. "I'm sorry, but this is for the best." I paused, eyes on his sad expression as I decided to add something to lighten the situation. "Hey, you're... you're almost halfway over me anyway."

Confusion passed Christopher's blue eyes. "What? I'm not over you."

As much as that touched my heart, I continued. "Denial, anger, bargaining, depression comes next but you seem to be getting through that fairly well too."

Despite the horrible joke, he cracked a smile. Shaking his head and laughing through his words. "Why do I even like you?"

"Simple. My skills on the fighting mat."

He laughed a bit louder. Cocking an eyebrow as he challenged me. "What skills?"

"Hey!" I protested as I punched his shoulder. "I'm good, okay."

"You're great." He sighed. A smile aimed at me as he leaned in. "You're amazing."

My eyes flickered to his lips. My own parted in anticipation, but my hand held steady pressure on his chest to keep him at enough of a distance to not distract me. "Christopher..." I whispered. "Please, this is tough enough to do as it is. Please don't make it worse."

"If this is goodbye,..." He whispered back, my hands seemed to barely provide any resistance. "...then just give me this... one... last..."

He didn't say the last word, cutting himself off as he pressed his lips against mine. Actions speak louder than words anyway.

He pulled me against him, but my hands didn't shift. A small barrier, but a barrier nonetheless. I didn't give my all or completely relax into the kiss either. I couldn't. I was trying to say goodbye, not welcome him into my bedroom. It was exactly like a final kiss is supposed to be. Soft, sweet, slow as if he's wanted to stretch it out. But one of us had to break it off. That one person was me.

I pulled away, breath messy, hair undone, eyes wide, legs wobbly, and mind gone. Goddamn, he was good.

I seemed to have had the same effect on him. His breathing was off, eyes hooded with pain as he leaned in again. I was tempted to but I just turned my head, pressed it to his shoulder and closed my eyes. "I'll miss you." I whispered softly as I revelled in his warmth one more time. "I don't... I don't want to do this." The lump I'd kept at bay had started to rise up.

Christopher's arms wrapped around me as he pressed his face into my neck. "I don't want to either. You just need to say the word and I'll... I'll stay."

After all I'd just said. After all I'd just told him, trying to convince him it was better for us to stay apart... I could take it all back, take him back, with just a few words. Just a word and he'd stay with me. I'd be happy, he'd be happy. But we'd both be each other's secret, and as much as I don't want that right now, it's the only way we can be together.

"No." I shook my head as I pulled away from him. "No. It's over between us. It's better if you leave now."

I moved back with some resistance from Christopher's arms still around me. They fell away with a simple push, and I took a few steps back.

I couldn't look him in the eyes as I repeated myself. "It's better if you leave now, Christopher. This is goodbye."

I couldn’t look as Christopher left. I finally cried as I heard his car pull away. This was horrible. I felt like shit. I felt miserable.

I was miserable.

And I stayed miserable for the next few days. I drowned my misery with my friends. Burying myself in studies so I could help them through their own problems and doubts. Nothing like a breakup to motivate you to take refuge in academics. I'm totally acing my exams. They might not know it, but they're the only things keeping me going. I'm a bit more mentally stable just being around them. They make me forget about Christopher. If only for a short while.

Of course but, 'tis the season. Mich took off a few extra days from work to put me to work instead on Christmas decorations.

"Come on, Fi!" He tugged at my blankets at way-too-early-for-vacations 'o' clock. "We have to set up the tree! And the lights! And I've even got an angel and everything!"

I tugged the blankets back, my eyes squeezed shut. "It's literally two days until Christmas. It's too late."

"It's never too late!"

"Why are we even doing this?" I scowled as he started winning in the tug of war. "We don't even have neighbours to impress."

"We don't need to impress!" He grunted. "Now, get up or my back will give out."

"Give up, old man." I tugged once more, giving it my sleepy all. "I'm not budging from here to decorate a tree, much less a house."

There was silence as I said that and I felt the blankets release. Humming satisfactorily, I snuggled back in. My eyes still closed and ready to resume my sweet dreams.

"But... I wanted to spend some time with you." I heard Mich say in a tiny voice. "I know I've been busy and all, so I figured we might as well have some fun."

Guilt churned in me. Oh, he was good. He knew how to play me. I scowled into my pillow for a few moments before I threw my blanket off. My eyes finally opened to a hopeful expression. "I've slept four hours, Mich. Four." His face started to light up. "You owe me a great time."

And a great time it was. Mich usually got all excited for Christmas even if it was just the two of us. He liked to shop. He never seemed to have the time, but I seemed to get no less than five gifts each year atleast. I didn't slack either. Online shopping was my saviour, considering Mich was never around. Even then, I gave them Flo's address to deliver to because, well, no one is around to receive them. She'd dropped them off as soon as the holidays started and I'd spent way too much on Christmas wrapping paper again.

"Tell me where my presents are!" Mich whined as I bent to check on the Christmas cookies.

I sighed irritatedly. "Just make the frosting, will you? God, you've never been this annoying for Christmas."

"But this is the first time we've had a house!" He grinned at me as I turned around. "I even got us silly Christmas jumpers."

"This is cute and all..." I gestured to the jumper I had on. It was bright red, had a Rudolph stitched on it with a light bulb in place of a nose proclaiming 'Have a LIT Christmas!!'. "But I don't even like Rudolph."

Mich gasped dramatically, despite knowing this. "You what?!"

I threw my hands up. "You've raised me for seventeen years and you forget every year."

"Holiday tradition." He snickered. I rolled my eyes, flicking some water formed out of the air at him. He jerked back. "You're getting really good at this. It's annoying."

"Helps me when I'm cleaning the house." I rolled my eyes.

"Huh, useful."

"Tell me about it."

We got back to decorating after we set the cookies to cool. The cushion covers got changed for the same red and green ones we've had for the past five years, stockings were put up as well as tiny porcelain figurines passed down from Mich's family. It was one of the few things he had left of them after losing them in a car crash when he was young.

He rarely spoke about them, used to brush it off saying he didn't remember much as he was only five, but I felt grateful every time that I had him. Ever since I'd been told the truth, the fact that I would've died in the cottage in the woods if he hadn't found me... he was my family. He was my father, my mother, my best friend. I couldn't ever do enough to express it for him.

"Fi!" Mich gasped as he hopped back in from the backyard. "We don't have a wreath!"

I blinked up at him blankly, sitting on the floors by the couch surrounded by pillows and pillow cases. "So?"

"So?!" He screeched, not for the first time that day. "What's Christmas without A WREATH!?!"

I grimaced at his high note. "Calm down! I'll get it! I saw some still left at the grocery store."

Still wearing my silly jumper, I grumbled my way into the garage. How annoying. Wreath. A circle of dried sticks and leaves which doesn't even smell nice.

"Get one with bells!" Mich yelled after me as I drove off. That got a smile from me.

I wasn’t the only one doing some last-minute Christmas shopping. The stores were certainly buzzing with energy. The baubles and shiny decorations on sale certainly awoke my Christmas mood. I hummed to myself as I put in a few candy canes and small turtle doves. This might not be so bad after all. I reached the wreaths and tried not to worry. Way too many of them, way too many sizes, and way too many types of bells.

As I visualised my door and the size that would suit it, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around curiously, a wreath made of white twigs, held together by red ribbons in my hand. The golden bells in the middle rang with my movement.

"Oh." I blurted out in surprise, a customary smile stretched across my face as I met the forest green eyes. "Sean, hey!"

"Fiera!" He greeted back cheerfully, arms open for a hug.

I awkwardly leaned in with the wreath to the side. Pulling away quickly, I gestured to him. Don't let it get awkward. "Hey..." I repeated. Dammit. "What are you doing here?"

Sean shrugged. "Mom realised we didn't have eggnog, or enough cookie dough and sent me out. I was glad to leave anyway, she always throws a fit over the decorations." He gestured to my trolley. "I see you're doing the same."

"Oh, yeah." I shrugged. "I came for only a wreath, but I couldn't resist."

"I know that feeling." Sean nodded understandingly. "Christmas fever."

"That's the last thing I need." I sighed and twisted to glance back at the wreaths. "I was just told to buy one with bells..."

Sean laughed at that and looked at the one I was holding. "Those are bells alright."

"Yeah, but is the size okay? Or the colour?" I bit my lip and turned back around again. "Should I take the dark green, traditional one?"

"Take two." I turned to give him a dry look. "No, really." He nodded earnestly. "Take two. The one your guardian doesn't like can go on the backdoor."

My eyes stayed on him through the silence that fell. The tips of his ears visible from under the beanie started to turn red. "That's..." I began slowly "... actually not a bad idea."

He perked up, any embarrassment vanished. "The white wood one is pretty good, take the traditional one too, just to be safe."

"Eh." I shrugged as I picked it up. "Back-door."

As I carelessly threw my last item into the cart, Sean and I walked towards the check-out, chatting easily. I popped in a couple of cartons of eggnog too. That actually looked pretty good. As we got in the line, the talk turned to New Year's and he asked me if I had any party I was attending.

"Not really." I replied with a shrug. "Mich and I usually go do our own thing, and I don't have a curfew for that night, but I really don't feel like celebrating this year."

Sean rolled his eyes. "Please, if this has been a shitty year for you—" a lady beside us harumphed at his language "—then you should welcome the new year with a bang! Surrounded by friends and good food and good drinks! It's supposed to be a foreshadowing of how your new year should go!"

I rolled my eyes at that. "What a stupid notion. Are you trying to say my year has been so bad because I didn't party enough?"

"Things work differently in this realm, Fiera. You gotta believe." He winked at me.

I laughed at his words as I moved ahead to check out my stuff. I waved goodbye to him once I was done but he jogged up to me as I got on my bike in the parking lot.

"Hey!" He waved. I stopped in middle of the slow process of backing out the bike. "Hey! Hold up!" He huffed as he stopped by me, nose already red with running against cold winds. It wasn't even snowing. "I'll be throwing a New Year's party. Are you interested?"

Surprise passed through me. "Did you just plan to do this, or are you really throwing a party?"

He winked at me. "Maybe both. Does it matter?"

"Not really, no." I smiled back. "Because I'm not going to say yes either way."

"Oh, come on." Sean pouted, a weirdly good look on him. "It's going to be fun! Remember how much fun we had last time? You, me, Anita, Christopher, and Francis."

"You forgot a few things. You, your nose, Christopher's fist, blood, pain." He grimaced, proving my point. "Don't chance it. I really don't think Christopher likes you." I knew for a fact he didn't. I hadn't forgotten what he'd said about me to warrant that punch either.

"Please. We're good friends, okay." Oh, really now? "Things said while drunk don't matter anyway." I guess my incredulous look forced him to continue. "Look, don't come if you don't want to. But you can't say it's fun sitting at home alone on New Year's Eve either."

"It's not fun." I admitted. "But it's safe and there's no possible drama waiting to happen."

"Right, because you're such a drama magnet?"

"I'm so glad you get it." I grinned at him.

Sean threw his hands up exasperatedly. "Oh, come on! One little party! Even your friends probably have plans too, right?"

I cocked my head, letting his words sink in. Flo was jetting off to some tropical island for New Year's with her cousins after Christmas, and Eric had already been invited to a party. He'd told me to come along but I really didn't want to gatecrash. I wasn't even invited.

I sighed, raising my hand to run it through my hair but knocking my helmet instead. "Fine, I'll think about it."

"Yes!" Sean punched the air excitedly, locks of hair visibly wobbled with the motion. "Can't wait to see you there!"

"I said, I'll think about it." I repeated as Sean turned away.

He dismissively waved his hand, still grinning. "See you there!"

Now there goes an idiot if I've ever seen one. I'm not denying that it actually sounds pretty good. Mich will be out with his co-workers, and I don't mind boozing it up with Francis and Anita again. They were cool. Besides, it might be a way to get over Christopher.