Chapter Twenty: The Confession

(Your POV)

Two days we've been waiting... They should be coming back soon... I hope. Me and Korra have enough food and water to last awhile but still. We've talked about allot of things. Mainly things we want to do without lives and what not. Though I didn't have any good answers... That damn inscription that I've had to wake up to for two days now is eating at the back of my head. IT's going to make me break if we stay here too much longer. Korra hasn't said anything about it which I am thankful for. It got quite cold last night so she is wearing my coat while I'm in the undershirt that goes with it. I'm starting to feel anxious now... I need to vent or train or some damned thing to get my mind off this but I can't... I then hear Korra fidget in her sleep. I can't tell but I'd wager it's about five in the morning. I go to her side and sit next to her. She then rolls over to me and snuggles into my side. I stiffen slightly then relax as I look at her sleeping form... I think this may be only the second time I've seen her with her hair down... She looks beautiful like that... Not that she doesn't by default... I then wrap my arm around her to bring her closer. I see her smile in her sleep when I do that. I use my free hand to gently move some hair out of her face. She's not cold it seems... Probably just an unconscious action then... Not that I mind. I then look forward only to be met with that damned inscription again... It's slowly eating at me... The more I think about it the worse it feels. I decide to try and sleep as to not look at it anymore. I close my eyes and begin to relax... Gods I'm going to break if I'm not damn careful. Korra doesn't deserve that...

*SMAll TIMESKIP*

(Korra's POV)

I slowly start waking up. I feel I am leaning on something soft and nuzzle into it not knowing what it is... After a minute I realize who it is and was about to jolt until I felt the weight of his arm around me. I look up and he's asleep. I guess I rolled into him at night and he let me stay there. I'm also using his jacket as a blanket. I smiled as I pulled it more around me. I look up again at (M/n) and see his eyes fluttering. I wonder what he's dreaming about. I then look back at the wall in front of us and I am reminded about what he read... I should say something but... I don't know how to bring it up. Hm. Maybe I should just be blunt... It may be the only way to force it out... I then relax against his side once more... I'm going to ask. He needs to get it out and now is the best time to do so... We're alone and no one can judge him... I won't... I just hope he knows that. Will he be willing to open up? If I can get him to I just hope he won't hate me after. So here I lay waiting for him to wake up... The more I think about what I'm going to do the more nervous I start to get... I don't want him to hate me... I like him too much for that, but I can't stand to see him like that. The only way to make sure he doesn't remain that way is to force the confrontation. I can only hope he won't be upset and not want to speak to me again... But If that's what it takes to help the poor man than that's what I'll endure. Given time he may understand why I did it and forgive me.

*SMALL TIMESKIP*

(Your POV)

I awoke with a slight start. Ever have those dreams where you're falling... Yeah that was it. I look over to my side to see Korra awake. I mover my arm out of the way so she can sit up. She stays there for a moment before doing so. She looks like she's been thinking a bit.

You: "You okay?" I ask as I sit up completely and take a swig from my flask of water.

Korra: "Yeah I was just thinking about something." She says sounding a bit worried. I look at her with concern and my head tilted slightly.

You: "Want to talk about it?" I ask, concern heavily shown in my voice. Even when she was thinking of something serious she had an air of... 'I can do it' around her but not with this. She seems worried she may screw something up. That's not like her.

Korra: "In a bit... Did I roll over to you in my sleep?" She asked me. I don't mind that she did.

You: "I woke up earlier and paced around the room. I ultimately sat next to you and you rolled over and I guess used me as a pillow of sorts... I didn't mind, I thought you did it unconsciously. I... Hope you didn't mind me putting my arm around you..." I said a little sheepishly. I hear her giggle at my expression and I just roll my eyes.

Korra: "It's fine Sparky. No worries." She then falls silent once more and that same expression returns. She stays that way looking at the floor for about ten minutes and then looks back at me with heavy concern in her eyes. She then asks a question I was not prepared for. "Hey... Do you... want to talk about what you read?" She asked me sounding concerned. I stiffen slightly and gain a stoic deadpanned expression.

You: "No." Is all I say in a tone I haven't used since I met them those months ago. Her facial expression however tells me that 'No' is not an option.

Korra: "You need to (M/n). You can't keep it bottled-" I cut her off.

You: "I said no." I replied sternly. She shakes her head. She's about to open a can of worms she'll wish she left unopened. I can feel the anger and sadness building as she continues.

Korra: "That's not an option. We're stuck here and you can trust me." She says just as sternly as my response. Like I don't damn well know that. She can't understand. I hope she never will.

You: "You can't understand." I say plainly as I stand up to go to the other side of the room. I hear her stand up as well.

Korra: "No I can't unless you explain it to me." She said sounding slightly irritated. No.

You: "This is not up for debate the answer is no!" I said louder this time sounding irritated. I turn to face her only to see her shaking her head at me.... She needs to stop.

Korra: "Why 'no' huh? Why can't you tell me or anyone? We worry about you, you know!" She said matching my raised tone of voice. I breathe in and out slightly angry. I am losing it. I'm trapped, can't run or get my mind off it. She needs to damn well stop.

You: "Like I don't know that! You and the others simply can't understand! It's that damn simple!" I said starting to shake. I'm going to lose it if she keeps pressing.

Korra: "What can't we understand (M/n)!? Just tell me dammit!! I want to help you!! Can't you damn well see that!?" She asked now sounding a bit pissed off. Now I feel very, very angry. She wants to know. Fine. Some sparks fly out of my body as I rush to her. She backs up into the wall while I look at her with angry eyes.

You: "YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as I punched the wall next to her head. When I did so some (F/c) electricity flew out. I can feel the rage, sadness, and guilt boil. She's pushed me over the edge now... She's not prepared.

(Korra's POV)

I will not lie. When he rushed me I was scared but I couldn't let it show. He has never yelled at anyone over than that Priest and 'Shadow'. He must be very angry. Yet despite that showing in his eyes I can see the severe sadness and guilt in his eyes. I've forced to the surface. He continues to punch the wall as more (F/c) electricity flies out of his fist.

You: "YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND!!!" He yells as he punches the wall. I don't flinch mainly out of surprise. "THE OTHERS CAN'T UNDERSTAND!!!!" He punches the wall over and over as he continues. "YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND AND I HOPE TO THE GODS YOU NEVER CAN UNDERSTAND!!!!!!" He said still yelling at me. He hopes I never understand? I don't get it. Why does he say that? Before I can speak he continues with a lower tone in his voice though he is still shouting. "No one on this fucking planet should ever have to live like this!!!!" He shouts at me. Though I notice his punches are getting weaker and tears begin to form in his eyes. "Watching your entire life burn before your eyes knowing you were why it happened!!" He shouted in a lower tone of voice as his emotions begin to show over his obvious anger and frustration. "Knowing if you were never born they'd be alive..." Now there are tears streaming down his face but he's still looking me in the eye. Finally, he's letting it out. "Living alone for years out of fear of hurting others just because you exist..." He has since stopped yelling and is now speaking in a shaky voice. The hits to the wall have stopped being punches and have turned into pitiful hits as tears stream down his face like how a river flows through a valley. "Living with this pain in your heart and spirit... Living with the guilt knowing you were why they burned, screamed and died..." My heart is now breaking for him. I knew this would be heavy but... I'm trying to hold back my own tears so he won't stop to make sure I stay okay. "Living as an eleven-year-old boy whose mind and spirit were scarred permanently... Having no one as that boy to teach you how to survive on your own..." Now I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. I'm not going to be able to hold back. "Running for your life... being attacked, kidnapped and... scarred permanently..." A single tear escapes my right eye. (M/n)... "An eleven-year-old boy... Living with the pain knowing they died because you were simply you... Having to steal to survive... Fighting off assassins and kidnappers..." I'm having a hard time holding it together now. I'm on borrowed time... "I hope you can never understand... If you or anyone did... It means they've lived my life... No one... No one should live that way... No one should live with this pain in their heart... No one should have to have these nightmares... To be reminded of how the ones you loved died and... That you were why they died..." He finishes that last part barely above a whisper. I now have tears leaking from both eyes. Not to the same extent as him however. He breathes in shakily and leans against the wall right next to me and slides down with the right side of his head leaning against the wall. I look down towards him wiping my eyes. I sit down next to him and look at him sadly trying not to break down as well. He's just staring into the abyss. I begin to think he's finished until he continues. "It was my fault they died..." Then he falls silent once more as the tears stream down his face. There it is.

There is the heart of his problems. He feels guilty that they died and he lived... I hoped that wasn't it but it is. He isn't sobbing though but at this point I feel he needs to just let it out. I get closer to him and hold both sides of his face so he will look me in the eyes.

Korra: "It's not your fault." I state a little shakily thanks to me being close to crying as well.

You: "Yes... It is." He replies sadly. I shake my head at him in a no fashion.

Korra: "It's not your fault." I simply repeat in a soft tone. He starts shaking his head at me.

You: "No... Don't..." He says in a tone that reminds me of a child begging someone to stop doing something... That has more meaning than it intends... I simply thin my lips and look at him sadly.

Korra: "It's not your fault (M/n)." His tears intensify as he shakes his head at me again. I move slightly closer to him. "It's not your fault." I say in a whisper. With that his dam breaks and he begins screaming and sobbing as some sparks emit from his body briefly as if he has finally been overloaded like a generator being struck by lightning.

I pull him into a hug and he begins sobbing into my shoulder. I just pet his head to let him know I'm here with him for this as my other hand rests on the swell of his back... All his sadness, his fear, his anger, his guilt, and his suspicions of others are now being let out into one long cry. I myself have tears going down my face. I knew he had it rough but... That sounded like hell. Someone as kind, caring, sympathetic, and honorable as him. You wouldn't expect this from him... Not that kind of life... He says nothing more as he sobs into my shoulder. I tighten my grip around him and lean against the wall with him in my arms... Though the confession was... Heavy. It explained allot more about his behaviors and attitude than I feel comfortable with... Why he was so suspicious of us... Why he preferred to be alone... Why he feels no girl could ever be with him... Why he decided to take Olivia in... Why he likes to make sure others are well off... Why he always seemed distant... He's afraid that he will be why others are killed and feels guilty that his clan died protecting him instead of themselves or each other. As soon as that realization hits me my tears intensify slightly and I pull him closer if that's even possible. We stay that way for what feels like hours... Not that I minded... I like him being close and I wanted to make sure he's okay... Why him? Of all people... Someone like him shouldn't of had to go through that... He didn't deserve it... No child deserves this... How has he held it together for so long? I only heard it and nearly lost it... I can't even imagine what that was like... He eventually stops sobbing and holds onto me finally. Both of his hands simply wrap around my back... He's clutching to me like I'm his life line or if he let's go I'll run... I'd never do that to him or anyone... Especially not now... It didn't even occur to me that he wasn't holding me back. I know he's still crying... I can hear it in his shaky breathes. I stop petting his head and move my left hand to his back and rub it in circular motion slowly. After some more time I hear his breathing return to normal. At this point I have also manged to stop crying. He begins to pull away and I very reluctantly let him go and resist the urge to pull him back in. He's looking at the ground at the moment... Most likely thinking. He then looks up at me... It hurt me to see him in this state... I can still see the hurt in his eyes yet... I also see... Relief. He wipes both eyes now that he has the opportunity. I do the same and smile weakly at him. He just stares for a moment before I see a small almost unseen smile appear on his face. He then puts his back to the wall and breathes out a little shakily. I do the same and we sit there. He then speaks finally, though his voice is a bit rough from the crying.

You: "I... *sigh* I should be mad..." I look down when he said that... I figured he might be... But he continued. "No... I should be pissed... But... I feel... I don't know... Relieved I suppose... All that is why I am the way I am." He finished looking at me. I looked at him nodding a little relieved he's not angry with me.

Korra: "Now that all that is out in the open... Do you... Want to talk about it?" I asked him a bit timidly so I don't anger him. I was hopeful he'd say yes. He stared at me for a moment before nodding yes. I got closer to him as he started.

You: "It's why I... Was so suspicious of you and the others... I didn't want to... Get close to anyone ever again." He sniffs as he finishes. I then feel him lean on me. I didn't mind. I wrap my arm around his form as he continues. "After all the... Near deaths... The starvation spouts... The dehydration... The kidnappings... The assassins trying to kill me... I just... Didn't want to risk more people just wanting to use me... For profit... Or just to kill me when they were finished..." I hear him sigh a bit shakily. "I was... In all honesty... Scared." He finished looking down. I never in my time of knowing him thought he'd be scared... Truly scared... He looks back up with a small smile on his face though I can still see the hurt and relief in his eyes. "Little did I know... When I was ambushed by those raiders that night on the island... I would end up meeting some very good people..." I smile at that. "I was proven wrong.... So... Thank you..." He said as he hugged me. I stiffen at his sudden action but end up hugging back quickly. We both let go.

He's still leaning on me. Not that I mind. We fall into a comfortable silence. Just enjoying the moment, we had. As we sit there though I feel my heart beat increase ever so slightly when I glance at him... I smile before looking away. I'm so glad he isn't mad... Now he can begin to process it fully... It was worth the risk and hey. It turned out much better than I expected. After some more time I hear him speak again. His voice was normal once more.

You: "It's funny." He said laughing slightly. I look at him confused as he sits up and turns to face me fully.

Korra: "What's funny?" I asked still confused. He locks eyes with me and smiles slightly. That makes me slightly nervous and makes my heart beat faster... He had that talent it would seem.

You: "I was so sure you guys would be like the others... But... I was wrong... I was so wrong... I got close to all of you especially you." Now I know I'm blushing. "So... heh... I can't find the words to thank you enough." He said in a very thankful tone of voice. I smile at him when he says that. I then hug him briefly which he gladly accepts. Once we separate we lock eyes again.

Again I feel comfortable in the stare. He's also still smiling at me. My heart is beating very fast at this point... Didn't he say that he could feel muscle movements? Yeah he did but only if he concentrates. I... I don't quite get what I'm feeling right now... It's like when I was with Mako yet... Stronger... Solid even... I then see him... Leaning forward ever so slightly. I don't move back either... I find myself leaning in to. What am I doing? Whatever it is I... Don't feel likes stopping and neither does he it seems. His eyes are now radiating something else... Then he closes them before I can figure out what it is. I do the same. Time seems to come to a crawl as this happens... Does he... Love me? Or is this a heat of the moment thing? Do I Love him? Maybe... Just as our noses begin to graze each other we hear shouting. (M/n) immediately pulls back and stands up. I sit there slightly paralyzed because of what nearly just happened. He walks to the door and shouts.

You: "Is that you guys?!" He shouts through the door. I hear Bolin yell back yes and then he shouts again. "When you light the fuse how long do we have?!" We both hear some muffling until Mako shouts thirty seconds. "Alright light the fuse!" He shouts. He then looks to me. "Get to the back wall." I snap out of my trance and do just that. He sits in front of me as some (F/c) electricity surrounds us. Then we hear the explosion as some rocks get deflected by his electricity. The field fades and he stands. He holds out his hand and I accept it smiling. He helps me up, we gather our stuff and we walk out. The others look like they were going to say something but then stop looking between us. I wonder why until I realize we're still holding hands. We both realize this and let go. Then (M/n) Speaks once more. "You know how hard it is to sleep on a hard surface right?" He's good at changing the subject. They each snap out of it and hug the both of us nearly to death. Once Bolin lets go of me and Asami lets go of (M/n) she asks him a question.

Asami: "Are you two alright?" She asks sounding extremely worried.

Korra: "I'm fine! Glad we're out of there though." I replied smiling at them. She smiles back at me before turning to (M/n). He seems to think before replying.

You: "Yeah... I think... I think I'm going to be okay... In time..." He says before looking back at me smiling. I smile at him and he walks out of the temple. Obviously eager to leave this place. The other three look at me with a knowing look.

Asami: "So... What happened in there?" She asks me sounding a slight bit befuddled at his response... I am hesitant to answer but decide to tell them some parts... I imagine he'll want to tell them the rest.

Korra: "I... Forced him to talk about why that inscription bothered him... He got angry and... What I thought would turn into a confrontation quickly turned into a confession... All I'll say is this... He'll finally be able to... Grieve I think." I said a bit relieved about it. They all look slightly concerned. Asami then smiles at me genuinely.

Asami: "There you go again. Helping him in away many would've failed to do." She said to me happily. I smile and blush ever so slightly. She then looks to the others and they nod.

Mako: "Good job Korra... He needed it I think. The look in his eyes was... One of relief. Whatever he revealed to you must have been an... ordeal he kept bottled up. Maybe now he'll be a happier person." Mako said smiling ever so slightly at me. I know he views (M/n) as a brother of sorts since they get along so well. Bolin then smiles wide at me before hugging me briefly and letting go.

Bolin: "YEAH!!" He shouts. "You did good Korra! I could tell just by looking at him that he was a bit happier than when we last saw him!" He exclaimed smiling ear to ear. I look down smiling and look back up.

Korra: "Thanks. He even said he felt relieved after it was over... So... Yeah." I say smiling. I decide to leave the... Near kiss out of it... I don't know if he meant it or if it was a spur of the moment thing. I shake it off and we begin to leave.

Once we exit the Temple I see (M/n) waiting for us. He smiles at us but when his gaze lands on me his smile remains but his eyes widen ever so slightly. I think this is the first wide, genuine smile I've seen from him in... Almost ever. We all begin to walk back to the airship together. Though (M/n) is walking closer to me than normal... Maybe he does Love me... If not... Well at least he can finally overcome his grief... It may take years but I will be by him as a caring friend every step of the way along with Mako, Bolin, Asami, and Olivia... I know he'd do the same for me or any of us without a second thought... And if we become more... I wouldn't mind I think... If not well... At least I helped him begin to fix his mind. I look at him and smile. He does the same before looking forward. Unlike normal however that gentle smile he had does not fade... And that makes me beyond happy.

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