I signed the yellow sheets of paper. The pink walls desire peace.
I,war.

I breathe heavily the air of metal and medicine.
The soft courtesy and the wilderness.

He emerges from the passage wearing his glove.
Leather and ink.
I looked at him and smile.
Embraced him, my hands supporting his chin.

"Ladyship...... Move from my way" he said in his fury.

It doesn't affect me. I am happy to see him.

I followed him to the car, he looks around.

There is a scratch on the hood. He keeps his eyes attached.

Now he looks at me. His OCD?

"Are you alright Lady? " he asked instead.

I just smile,Love over madness.

"We are going Home" I tell him.

"This is not my Home" he denies.

"This is Home" I retaliate.

We entered our apartment.

He has his particular stare on me.

"You know I did not want to do this" I spoke desperately trying to explain.

"yes of course ;you Ladyship never want to continue, we do. Like always and forever"

I wrapped my scarf.

"Al-Souffian " I gulped.

He does not return to me.

"Al-Souffian? "

"What! " the same wot.

I could not tell him.

"Lunch? " I said instead and moved the plates uncomfortably.

"Broccoli?  No broccoli " he shook his head.

"Why not? " I asked. He loves broccoli.

"I do not like color Green today" he gathers his brows, something about the color in the simplest manner causing him irritation.

"We have all things Green" I placed the soup ahead.

"We can have potatoes. I will have potatoes "

"Potatoes?  I am the pregnant one here"

He looks at me. Neutral.

He ate bread and butter and a small spoon of jelly he swallowed with water. He wiped his fingers on the black dining cloth. Rubbed his forehead.

Uneasiness.

Short breaths.

Long stares.

I closed my eyes tightly. I have to do this.

"Al-Souffian? "

"Did you get my blanket from the hospital? " he questioned.

"Yes"

"And the Black glove? "

"You were wearing it. I saw you wearing it when I was signing the discharge papers "

He finds the glove in his bag.

"Al-Souffian....we must leave, our car is here"

"Car is here?  To where Ladyship? "

I caught my nerves.

"To Home. To Dar-Al-Maqamah "

His pupils dilate. A soft surprise.
My eyes filled with water.

"Oh we must hurry" he walks to his room.

"I have packed everything " I said.

He wondered.

"But Father... He hasn't sent for me? " he dissapoints himself.

"We must Leave. I cannot do this here" I embraced my belly.

"Well, we should probably but father's  permission is essential "

"Nobody has even called in these Months. We should leave"

I walked to the door with my bag. My breath catching the rope of life barely.

"Come" I ask him, my palm open to him.

He walks out with me hand in hand.

In the elevator,we descend.

Six months.

A memoir gently caressing in.

"please Al-Souffian we need to go home"

"It is an Evil resident! I scorn it!  Ladyship we must kill mine body.... Ladyship shhh"

There was no way out of the elevator. I knew if I would let him go. He would run under a car, a moment ago he tried his best to do so.

And If we go home. The kitchen has too many knives.

I pressed all the buttons of the elevator and held both of his hands in mine.

It was another Bad Day for Al-Souffian.

He chanted bizarre words. Something I could not understand. Different languages. Different tones. Different undertones. Different types of Al-Souffian.

He was always screaming and crying.
I unfortunately could only mirror him.

I was barely living and he was entirely dying.

There were several times in a day when he would bang his head.

This day,was worse.

He slowly straighten his legs.
I knew my grip was hurting him. My fingers have left marks. I was hurting him so that he could not hurt himself.

I was crying because he was crying.

And I always said life is crazy but now the word Crazy stings like a rod struck straight in my heart.

Al-Souffian after the entire Day of convincing me the voices that were occuring to him were real, now was tired of them.

He tells me, let's agree to them.

He tells me, he wants to die.

He tells me, he would want me to kill him.

And everytime that he says these things, I want to cease in his arms.

If I could give him my life to fix his,I would.

Now the delirium dropped.
The morbid night turned into a dark am.

I kept kissing his forehead,in my lap sleeping in the elevator, a life of unnatural complexes.

The metal silver unfriendly reflection.
The sad image of a man in the arms of a lady.
One metal gear to hold the other.
Old and scared.
Lone with forlorn promises.

"Ladyship, you should kill me"

The final voice of a sane Al-Souffian.

"I love you Al-Souffian. I can never think of it"

"But....? "

He closes his eyes.

The elevator Opens.

Miss Rosalind helps me with the bags.

"Take Care" she smiles.

"Thank you so much for everything "
I hugged her tightly.

She smiled at Al-Souffian and he smiled back, cross soft smiles.

"Are you sure you can handle everything alone? " She finally asked.

"He will either go out of control or mum, I pray he goes numb" I answered.

We left.

In the car,
In the front seat,
Al-Souffian sits staring the front mirror, my reflection, my image, my stomach, his child.

I sat in the backseat trying to find him. To understand the language of his heart but poor Falaq-Naaz never was good at languages.

Lived twenty and eight years foolishly.

In the new City, in the high of the charm of the bright lights and loud music;recklessly but surely we did find our way to each other.

I was falling for the cross smile and the sharpness of the jealous clench of his jaw.

The old souls, I considered him an Old soul as well. We were in the young city, the city of love.

Contagious City.
Sadly we caught the habits.
First we married, an unfortunate circumstance.
Then we made Love, madness.
Now we comprehend.
But everytime I push him out, he merges with my soul like he is my heart.

Heart!

I only loved him because he was my husband and because he married me.

I laughed on an almost ridiculous satire of a class Al-Souffian had a salty view about.

"That's bitter" I laughed on.

"you are Beautiful Lady Al-Souffian "

I stopped, I sat on kitchen counter, cold marble.

He pushed his chair nearer. Now I could see him right in front, a little higher from him.

"Do you love me? " I asked.

"I married you" he answers.

Now I cross smile.

"Learning a lot things from me Ladyship"

"I love you" I curled his hair in my finger.

"Thank you" he smiles.

"Don't you love me? " I asked.

He says nothing. The sweet honey like smile, the flower blossom like, the soothing sunlight like, the moon in the dark like. Smile,Al-Souffian's smile.

"Why don't you say it? Why don't you tell me? " I said losing patience.

"Because when it comes to love Ladyship, I am a miser. I give very little,I keep much. All my misery for Love has kept you precious. I am a miser,I love to take and I hate to give"

"You Mr Elahim, you really are a misery"

"if you knew your worth Ladyship, you would never be able to love anybody but yourself "

"I bet you wouldn't like me then"

He laughed loudly.

"You are vulnerable. Our vulnerability makes you an easy target for everything. You, Ladyship. You are mine and I must spend on you wisely that you do not tire off me"

How we talk about a leisure of a rich conversation. I never thought I could ever gain the weight of these rich gems.

"Al-Souffian " I halted.

"Ladyship "he gazed at my lips.

"I love you"

He reached for my lips and touched them tenderly with his forehead fingers.

"I warned you" he said breathing with me.

"I am a failure "

"How... You have won me" he smirked.

We kissed. He held my chin,the cinnabar circles around his eyes, his wrinkle when he smiles. The first breath of clench and this high, this high.

"Al-Souffian? "

"Yes my Ladyship "

"I love you"

Now the eyes wrinkled, the nose unhappy, the sharpness tired. The wholesomeness unfilled.

The only thing that hasn't changed the cinnabar circles around his eyes.

"Sleep Ladyship " he ruins me.