I found no interest in anything. I blankly would stare at the sky.

There was everything yet nothing.

I was empty handed but full in the womb.

I was lethargic.

I settled on the chair. Underweight for a four-month pregnancy. Anemia eating my veins.

"Lady Falaq-Naaz, come here" Al-Wildan from the behind the large tree calls my name.

I walked to him, he was digging up the soil.

"Make a wish," Fateh said.

"But... What is this? " I sat down with them.

"we are planting  Foxgloves if you make a wish and it grows out healthy you would know it is likely to be fulfilled " Fateh taught.

"Well who said that? "

They both looked up to the balcony. There, where it was the courtesy of the Mighty King.

Al-Wais... In his balcony.

I wish heart, health, and happiness to the Elahim Brothers and the Elahim to be born.

"it only works if you have a pure heart. No Malice" Fateh scrunches his dirty nose. I smiled and Al-Wildan too smiled at the innocence.

"No malice in the heart acquires a lot of strength, for example, Ladyship you have a heart that is fond of hate, have you than ever loved?  Love requires a Pure Heart" he coughed and then folded the prayer mat.

"you know a lot about Love? "

"I know everything. You were partly aware of what Love was. Love is not only emotional as you aspired it to be. It is metaphysical in aspect. Like being in existence. Both emotional and physical love combine to make Love wholesome" explained the Silver Souffian.

"you think You are good at Love ?" I teased.

"Oh you know how good I am at it Ladyship " he seductively grits his teeth.

It was a blind fact that despite his bizarre battles, his sober self-was immensely sensuous.

He knew his craft well, he gave life to me with his body. He could control me. He knew how to.

"Ladyship " Mr. Rahim coughed.

We did not realize we were being watched. I blushed.

"the car is ready" he stated and walked away.

"Don't give him the bloody keys of the house. I could be doing anything at this moment " he pressed his nail on my lower lip.

"That is why... Exactly my reason" I raised my eyebrow, in retaliation he raised his.

The sonography was normal. This time when we returned , again I spotted Athar. His wife was the patient of the same gynecologist I was visiting.

This time Athar gives me a disgusting look. He frames his face to me and wrinkles his head and his eyes convincing him he is still right.

I laughed shaking my head.

So much ego. Men.

"Your Jannah would be my favour" I announced in the hall.

He looked at me furiously.

"I want my Lord to listen and like how I announce this today, he would announce it on the Day of Judgement.  Where would seek refuge then?"

He was not in the least sense humiliated. He swayed his hands to me, the city manners that interpret one to 'get lost'

Al-Souffian laughed.

"His Jannah would be your Favour" he looks at him now somber "And I will witness"

I caught his hand before he would get further angry.

I look at the soil. I had two people with whom I held contempt for.

That day Athar, dissolved in the smell of the antiseptic of the hospital. He is nobody to me. I have forgotten him.
Though he was pure Evil my second forgiveness still is battling inside. Was I even right in the place to forgive the old man?

Mr. Elahim was not entirely Evil.
Or was Evil for a reason I suppose .
His actions were his product of the love he had for his children. I do not know if I can held him responsible for that.

His wife left him, he was hurling to protect his sons from the pain he felt. The pain that devastated him. It is not wrong to protect someone but it is wrong to wrong them in protection.

That is what Mr Elahim did. He blindly shielded his sons from the World, however forgetting the world in which his sons reside was getting darker than the world he was fighting against.

I wonder if I hate Mrs Elahim anymore.

I reckon, I do not anymore.

She lived the life I lived.
With a Man who had lost his mind. It was clear, Mr Elahim was not normal. If not severely Ill then partly in need of treatment.

She was selfish.

"Being selfish is not a bad thing Ladyship . Selfish is condemn by the society because it triggers people, weak people, people who fear they would have to live on their own if some one would not help them. Selfishness is not a vile attribute; it is self importance. Never giving yourself priority can be wrong. Leaving yourself at the hands of someone else who is just there to weaken you, so you could be on the same level is a bad thing... Selfish is not a bad attribute "

My father smiles at me. Al-Souffian told him about his illness and he was surprised that I did not complain.
He embraced me. Sometimes words are less..... Overwhelmed by the action, grateful to my Lord. My head bowed down. 
Forgiven.
Forgiving is healing, being forgiven is healing.

Repentance was in his eyes.

I was forgiven not for the mistake, I was forgiven for the way I held myself away from him. Love.... I love my father, now he loves me too.

Proud Father,
Sad daughter.

I saw the dinner plates all finished.

"Good" I smiled at Al-Shizad.

He cross smiled like his brother
"I missed you"

I smile back.

"Really? " I ask.

"Ni'sa " he growls.

There was only one thing left to do.

Four out of five.

I mounted the Powder blue tea cups on the tray and ascended the stairs.

I cleared my throat.
I saw the mighty king sitting on his arm chair,his throne.

Under the starry night, the Innummerous stars, the glistening galaxy. The open stream of clouds, the vivid dream like view. The close and cosy moon.
The elated, the surreal balcony of Al-Wais...and I.

I placed the tea cups before him and I took mine in my hands. I took a sip.

"I have a lot of complaints. Do not tell me to go" I said.

"I wasn't going to ask you to leave anyways " he sighed.

I promised myself I would not cry but my eyes were filling up.

"I have a lot to tell you. Will you listen? " I shrieked.

"I will always listen" he breathed in the cold air and returned the piece of fog from his breath.

"You did me wrong.... You shall answer me.... Did you not know that the story Mr Elahim weaved of our marriage was not true? "

"I knew. I knew, you would never marry anyone but me" he spoke sternly.

My tears fell.

"why?  Why did you not do anything then? "

"Because you married him. You broke my heart" he said now his voice failing.

I cried and then limping, dragging, crying, immersing, drowning and frowning  I narrated everything... Every detail of the night.
There was nothing to stop me now.

He shrieked.

"You should have told me.... Why did you not tell me? " he asked.

"I could not. He threatened me" I sighed.

"this marriage is a nightmare " he stated the right words for me.

"It is"

"I have taken care of Al-Souffian for several years. I know him" he said staring into his vacuum of wild memories.

"I wonder if you have seen worse" I said staring into my small but scary vacuum of memories.

"You do not deserve this" he looks at. Me now. My head lifts to meet him.

"I accepted Al-Souffian as my husband for three reasons:
First, My Lord witnessed me in Nikah with him. For the rules he made, for Him.
Second, for you. Because you loved Al-Souffian, you took utmost care of him. The man so important to you would not be hurt.
Third, for Al-Souffian. Because he married me. For the bond of marriage to be sufficient for someone"

"My heart breaks for you Naaz.... You do not deserve this" he repents.

Five out of Five.

"what use are of words now" I regret.

"Al-Souffian loves me. If I make him understand, he will never put me down. If for this one time I be selfish, would I be held accountable?  I wonder. For this one time if I put myself first.... I would not dissapoint the Lord in the heaven?  I want to become yours. Can I resolve? Can I repent? I will fight everything, if you save me today... I will be selfish... Will you marry me?"

My head started to spin. This was Al-Wais, the mighty King asking for my hand in marriage. But where was my hand, I glanced upon them. They were not mine anymore to give.

"I promise. I would talk to him. There would be no suspicion on you. He would not think of you guilty. I would to repair all the damage...I promise. Just marry me... I cannot live alone anymore. I would Perish"

I nodded. Damages can be fixed. Ruins cannot.

"Tomorrow morning, the sun will rise with my word. I will announce you mine. Will you marry me? "

"Tomorrow? "

"Yes"

My eyes were lost in spheres. Like Al-Souffian now, my mental being was affected too. I saw what not anybody could see. It was not my illness. It was my education.

"Tomorrow? " his eyes pleads with me.

"I will meet you in the Dining Hall," I said.

I would not have accepted this if Al-Souffian did teach me the rules. It was not wrong to be selfish. If it was not wrong then it was right.
Only if he did not teach me....Al-Wais wouldn't smile today. I wouldn't forgive him. We wouldn't be right.
This learning made the way for me, I smiled.

Who decides what if fair anyways.

Author's Note: I hope you are enjoying the emotions. If not, why?
Have a blessed week.
Love xoxo