The last time I felt like this...

By Mallory Quinn

Chapter 1

"Islands in the stream"

There was a lot of fog outside. It was New Year's Eve. She was on a boat there was a party going on for the New Year, but she had just waked up suddenly, after having a strange dream. It wasn't very clear. She was alone in her cabin, she was travelling alone. She didn't want to dance or celebrate the New Year, because every time she had that dream, it seemed so real and she felt... incomplete. Sometimes she would literally be daydreaming. She got dressed, it was almost midnight. She went on the deck of the boat. I was foggy outside. She was wearing a light pink evening gown in satin and her long blond wavy hair was falling on her shoulders; she didn't have time to make an up do...she was a little tired. She took the shawl that went with the dress and got out of the cabin to go on the deck. She was looking at the water moving, she was trying to get rid of the sadness she felt. The wind was blowing in her eyes and was making them teary.

A man came out of the party and when on the deck of the boat to breathe some fresh air, a few minutes before midnight. He was trying to avoid a woman who clinging to him and who wanted to spend the rest of the night with him...until morning in his cabin...he needed some air. He was looking and he saw a woman who was looking at the ocean. The wind was blowing, and her hair was moving. He couldn't get his eyes off of her; he was like frozen on the spot looking at her. He approached her quietly and he saw that she had tears in her eyes. He didn't know why but he felt the need to console her. The wind blew a little harder and made the shawl she was wearing, fly in his direction. He picked up the shawl and approached her. She turned around to see where her shawl went, and she saw a man had it in his hands and he was wearing a tuxedo and was very attractive. Their eyes met and there was a thunder bolt in their heart. They had the feeling they already lived that scene, but it seemed lost in the fog...

Him: Hello, I don't even know your name,

But I'm hoping all the same

This is more than just a simple hello.

Her: Hello, do I smile and look away?

No, I think I'll smile and stay

To see where this might go.

Both: Cause the last time I felt like this, I was falling in love,

Falling and feeling, I'd never fall in love again.

Yes, the last time I felt like this,

Was long before I knew

What I'm feeling now with you...

He decided to talk and break the silence.

- Hello, I think this is yours... he said

- It is the colour of my dress, she said

He gave her the shawl and she took it; their hands touched for a few seconds. She had the impression she got an electrical shock and him too.

- Thank you very much, she said

- Are you ok? He asked

- Yes, why?

- You seem sad. It's the New Year; you should be celebrating... why is it that a sweet pretty little face like yours has tears?

- The cold wind was blowing in my eyes...

- Oh... you've got freckles... on your pretty little nose, they're adorable...

She smiled inside at the compliments, but she didn't want to show it. She didn't feel like hampering herself with a guy who was going to stick to her like glue for the rest of the evening. But, he was handsome, very attractive and he probably had a date already. That's good, because she wanted to go to sleep. But to be in the presence of this man... she didn't know what it was, she felt like... like everything was supposed to happen the way it did. That she should stay with him, she was feeling good in his company... But no, what was that? She had to go back to her cabin... but she wasn't moving.

He had come out the deck of the boat to run from a woman who was too demanding and there; he was in front of another woman... he didn't want to go anywhere. He wanted to stay there with her, to see her was like a dream, like he'd always dream to meet the woman of his dreams... the woman of his dreams? He had just met her a few minutes ago, but it was like they've known each other forever. And what was that about freckles? That's all he could come up with? He didn't usually talk like that... freckles? He didn't know where that came from...

"Freckles" she said to herself? He was talking to her about her freckles? Well it was a big change from the usual pick up lines she's used to getting from other men, who would just boldly tell her they want to bed her. He sounded like a clumsy teenager and she thought it was so cute. She decided to answer him.

- My freckles are adorable? She said smiling, did you find that one on your own? Or your 16 year old brother helped you?

He felt indeed like a 16 year old talking to a girl he had just met for the first time. Freckles? But she was smiling, so it must have been working... Inside they heard everybody screamed "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!"

- Happy New Year, Miss Freckles... he said looking at her straight in the eyes

- Happy New Year, she said smiling

They continued staring at each other, unable to stop and not knowing why. He wanted to open his mouth to talk, when he heard;

- Hey! Said a woman's voice, there you are! I've been looking for you everywhere! You abandoned me...

He cursed that woman inside for her interruption. The woman he was speaking to took advantage of the interruption to leave.

- Your date misses you, she said, I'm going to leave you...

- No, wait, what did you say your name was again?

- I didn't... Goodbye sir, thank you for catching my shawl, she said walking away

He wanted to hold her back, but the young woman from the party had caught up with him and she was holding his arm.

- I drank the New Year without you! You were here alone!

- I need some air, he said but I was not alone, I was with...

- I don't see anybody, it's cold; lets got back to the party...

He looked and he didn't see her anymore, she had disappeared as if by magic. Was she really there or did he imagined her?

- Ok, let's go back to the party, he said coldly

He went back inside with the woman, but he couldn't stop thinking about the other woman with freckles

The young woman went back to the cabin and took her clothes off to go to bed. She thought about her meeting she had just had on the deck; he was so handsome with his blue eyes... but, no, this was not the time for going soft... she didn't need any relationship for the moment. But... she felt so good during those few minutes she was with that stranger. Well, she was going to bed, now. The boat will get to the harbour in the morning and her routine is going to start again.

The man managed to get rid of his the annoying woman and went to his cabin. He couldn't stop thinking about the woman with freckles... but that wasn't all it was, it was like he already lived that... but they say that's the impression we get when we meet our soul mate. They say our soul mate, it's our own soul, split in two; that we share with our other half. Well..., but he had spent a few minutes with her and it was like he'd known her forever... she had refused to tell him her name, she was playing hard to get... he went to bed still thinking about Miss Freckles.

The boat berthed in New York and the young woman got off with her luggage. She took a cab to get to her apartment on 5th Avenue. The doormen took her luggage upstairs on the 3rd floor. She undid her suitcases. She put on jogging suit to be more comfortable and went to get something to eat in the kitchen. She listened to her phone messages; there was a ton of them from her friends. She called one of the best friends...

- Hello? Tricia? Happy New Year!

- Candice-Blanche! Happy New Year!

- Have mercy! Candy, please!

- How are you? Did you just come in?

- Yes, it's good not to be on the water anymore. What about you? How are you?

- I'm fine said Tricia, and at work too. I've got a new student, the daughter of an African diplomat; she speaks a lot of languages like you...

- One of the advantages of the diplomatic life, the only downside is the moving part and leaving your friends...

- Well, it's like you can't stop travelling either...

- I know. Aside from being a diplomat like my father, I travel from time to time for my work...it's great

- It must've been fun to arrive in a country where you didn't know the language at all...

- Yes, learning a language is fascinating...

- You're gifted. But you have to say, you've been doing it ever since you were little...

- Yes, it's kind of normal for me, said Candy laughing

- What about your charmer? You have any news?

- No, and I hope he won't find me in this new apartment. No one comes up without my permission... and I gave the doormen his picture so they'll look out for him...

- Aren't you over doing it?

- No, Tricia, Daniel Reed is obsessed with me... he wasn't my boss, since he wasn't working at the company, so I couldn't press charges for sexual harassment...

- But he's rolling in it, and he's crazy about you...

- I don't like him. I left a job I liked and I found another one, and I made sure the boss was an old man...

- But some old men are perverts...

- This one is fateful to his wife and can't see anything without his glasses...

- But tell me you're not dressing up bad for your job...

- I can't run the risk; he might be a pervert, said Candy laughing

- You're not possible, Candy said Tricia laughing, I'm happy you're back, and I love your funny stories

- I met someone on the boat...

- Really? Who?

- I don't know his name... I met him a little before midnight yesterday evening

- Just before midnight? Did midnight catch you with him?

- Yes...

- That's the man you're destined to be with...

- What?

- Yes, they say the person you're with at midnight, is the person you're destined to be with for the rest of your life, your soul mate...

- Really? Well, I don't believe in all those things...

- You, the traveller? It should've been easier for you to believe...

- Ok, let's just say, I don't really pay attention to those things...

- What did he look like?

- He had long brown hair, deep blue eyes. He was tall and talked to me about my freckles....

- Your freckles?

- He said they were adorable...

- Well for someone who's not destined to be with you, you've described him pretty well. It's like he got your attention...you looked at him pretty well in any case...

- But no... said Candy confused

She didn't really looked at him that well... or did she? But no, she barely saw him. But how did she get all the details to the colour of his eyes? The light wasn't really good on the deck of the boat and it was foggy...

- That's strange said Candy... it was kind of dark, and it was foggy...

- I know you don't wear glasses like me, but according to what you just told me, you mustn't have seen him that well...

- But how was I able to give so many details on him? Now I'm starting to doubt myself...

- I told you, you're destined to be together... you must've known him in a former life...

- Don't be ridiculous Tricia...

She did feel really good in his presence and the last time she felt like that...

"...the last time I felt like this, I was falling in love,

Falling and feeling, I'd never fall in love again... "

Was Tricia right? Have she met him before? No, that's absolutely preposterous!

- Just kidding. But he was handsome, he caught your eye... do you see yourself with him? Asked Tricia

- I...

She had a flash; she was dancing with him... but was it her? Or was it her imagination? Her mind was playing tricks on her, no; her imagination was working overtime.

- I don't know, she said after a little silence, well let's talk about something else, this story is confusing me, said Candy

- Ok, said Tricia, you'll never guess what happen in my class the other day...

They talked about their jobs. Patricia McNeil, Tricia for her friends, was a teacher in a local private school. They talked about their lives, and they watched a movie on the phone together.

Before she went to bed, she got a phone call from her mother.

- Hello, honey? Said the mother

- Mum!

- Are you ok?

- Yes, I'm fine... how's Bangkok?

- Fine and how's New York?

- Still the same. It's still my favourite city...

- Don't forget, you can come here, whenever you like

- I know mum. But I have a job that I like

- Your charmer is leaving you alone?

- He doesn't know where I live and if he finds out, he won't get pass the front door downstairs...

- Honey, aren't you overdoing it a little?

- Mum, the attention from this man is torture, I assure you. He won't hear anything! He made me quit a job I liked... and I feel absolutely nothing for him....

- The day you'll fall in love, I'm going to go and celebrate in a restaurant!

- I hope you'll come and get me...said Candy laughing

- I'm going to send a private jet to pick you up! Said her mother laughing

- How's the rest of the family? Dad?

- Everybody is fine. Good night honey

- Goodnight mum

- Here's your father...

- Dad?

- My little big girl! Said her father

- How are you today, Your Excellency?

- I'm fine, thank you. What about you?

- I got here in one piece and I can't wait to go back to work.

- You know I can find a job for you here with me. That way we'll always be together...

- They're going to accuse you of nepotism...

- I don't care what people say; you're my daughter and I want to keep you near me....

- I have to fly on my own, dad...

- You've always been a strong minded girl... I'm sorry for your future husband...

- Dad!

- I'm going to let you sleep, good nigh honey

- Good night daddy, I'll talk to you tomorrow...

She hung up the phone smiling. She talked to her parents everyday. Georgie and Laurent Grey. Laurent was the Ambassador of Great Britain in Thailand for the moment. She had grown up changing countries almost every year. She loved to travel, like her parents. She went to bed, but not without thinking about the man she met on the deck of the boat.

The man arrived in his apartment to leave his luggage. He had to take the plane for Europe again in a few days. All he did was travelling, his job took him everywhere in the world. His apartment was empty, it was New Year's Day and the housekeeper wasn't there. He changed and went to sit in the living room and turned on the television to watch the news. After that, there was a play; "Romeo and Juliet". He remembered playing Romeo in school, at that time, he was dreaming of becoming an actor, but he had to take over the family business with his father who had a coronary thrombosis. His plans of becoming an actor were put on hold indefinitely... Maybe that's why he was going out with actresses a lot; Karina Blake, Susanne Mann...But now that he thought about it, they weren't important, just to pass time. On the boat, he had met a young woman with freckles, who didn't even tell him her name, but with whom he had the impression of knowing her forever. She looked that the girl she thought about ever since he was a little boy; blond wavy hair, freckles. Every time he drew himself at school, he was also drawing a little girl with freckles... without knowing why. She was her dream and he had met her, but he had lost her too. During those few minutes he was with her on the deck of the boat, he had felt so good, like everything was right as rain... Everything made sense. But where was he going to find her? She didn't give him her name, so he didn't have anything, but the picture in his head. He called his mother.

- Hello mum? Happy New Year!!!

- Terrence Philippe Richard! Happy New Year, honey!

- You just love calling me by my three given names, that's not too long for you?

- Of course not, honey. How are you?

- Well I just came in...

- When are you leaving?

- In 3 days...

- You don't stop... don't over do it...

- Don't worry, if I overdo it, I'll stop and get some rest...

- How's your love life?

- I...don't know...

- You don't know? Did you fall in love?

- Mum, do you remember how I used to draw myself in school when I was little?

- Yes, you always had a little girl with blond wavy hair, with green eyes...

- You've got a good memory

- You practically drew her in every single drawing... I've never known the reason why... there was no little girl who looked like her in your classes...

- I know, she was in my head, in my dreams and I was always having fun with her, she knew how to climb trees...

- Oh, she was the girl of your dreams, you put in your drawings, then she's your imaginary friend...

- I don't know if she was imaginary though

- What do you mean, she was real?

- In my head, yes. In my dreams...

- So what are you talking about?

- I met a woman on the deck of the boat, yesterday just before midnight. It was foggy, I went outside to get some fresh air and I saw her... she had blond wavy hair, and her eyes were green and she had freckles on her nose...

- You said it was foggy, but how did you describe her so well?

- I...

- Or you're describing your imaginary friend; you used to see in your dreams?

- You're making me doubt myself...

- Did she tell you her name?

- No, she disappeared in the fog...

- Maybe you imagined her...

- You're really making me doubt myself, she did disappear when the woman I was with interrupted us, as if by magic...

- Your imagination is playing tricks on you, honey...

- Probably, because I've never felt so good, when I was with her

- With the person we imagine, everything is always perfect...

- Maybe...But mum, whatever I felt imaginary or not, I've never felt that way since...

He stopped talking. Since...he was with the little girl with freckles in his dreams...

- Since my dreams...

"The last time I felt like this..." he said in his head

"...the last time I felt like this, I was falling in love,

Falling and feeling, I'd never fall in love again..."

But what was he thinking? He never felt like that before! But...

- Oh... well honey, you better come back to earth... in the real world with real women. How are your little actresses?

- I don't know mum...

- You're thinking about marrying one of them?

- No... not at all... it actually never crossed my mind...

- Terrence, you have to get married and make a family

- I have all the time in the world, and since I intend to get married one time only, I have to be absolutely sure of my choice

- Of course, honey... you don't want to end up like your father...

- Making a business deal instead of marrying for love... that's not for me... I'm going to leave you mum, and continue to watch Romeo and Juliet

- You wished you were an actor...

- Dad needed me...

- I always tell you, when you have time, take a little break and come to the theatre, for fun...it's relaxing to do what we love

- Ok, mum. I'm going to try to think about it. Thank you.

- I love you honey...

- I love you mum...bye

- Bye honey...

He hung up the phone and watched Romeo and Juliet on TV. What would his life have been like if he had become an actor? He might never know it. He thought once again about his meeting on the boat with the young blond woman with freckles. She was perfect, like he imagined her in his dreams... his mother was right, it must have been the figment of his imagination. He closed his eyes and his imaginary friend came back in his dreams and he felt good and he didn't want to wake up.

Met you by surprise I didn't realize

that my life would change forever

Saw you standing there

I didn't know I'd care

There was something special in the air

Dreams are my reality

The only kind of real fantasy

Illusions are a common thing

I try to live in dreams

It seems as if it's meant to be

Dreams are my reality

A different kind of reality

I dream of loving in the night

And loving seems all right

Although it's only fantasy

If you do exist honey don't resist

Show me your new way of loving

Tell me that it's true,

Show me what to do

I feel something special about you

Dreams are my reality

The only kind of reality

Maybe my foolishness has passed

And maybe now at last

I see how the real thing can be

Dreams are my reality

A wondrous world where I'd like to be

I dream of holding you all night

And holding you seems right

Perhaps that's my reality

Met you by surprise I didn't realize

that my life would change forever

Tell me that it's true

Feelings that are new

I feel something special about you

Dreams are my reality

A wondrous world where I like to be

Illusions are a common thing

I try to live in dreams

Although it's only fantasy

Dreams are my reality

I like to dream of you close to me

I dream of loving in the night

And loving you seems right

Perhaps that's my reality