TRIGGER WARNING:

This chapter contains content that may be disturbing for readers. It hints on sexual and physical violence so I sincerely advice you to spare yourself if you believe it may trigger something in you. Please, always beware.

"The competition will have to happen after the next couple of months. That will give me enough time . . . to train you."
 
Lady Lara was still thinking about those words the duchess told her as she was taking steps down the grand staircase. She couldn’t just focus on the crowd looking up at her and her red dress, which she found heavy to walk with. It’s the night. The ball. 
 
"Archduke Asio-Vinn had always wanted to have a daughter. But I became like a son to him," Duchess Liria said, making the nobles laugh politely. "It's sad that he couldn’t see how I’ve raised a pure daughter now."
 
Duke Fuerto reached for his wife’s shoulder and smiled at her, then at the crowd. "We named her after her grandfather, Asio. This beautiful young lady coming down is the best gift we have ever received from the gods." Sabay na hinarap ng mag-asawa si Lara. Nahihirapan at mabagal itong nakarating sa ibaba. But she managed to smile widely at them. "Lady Lara Asia Ryo," the duke announced her name, and the nobles at the scene clapped their hands.
 
Minutes after Lara was introduced, these people started tossing glasses.
 
Lara was listening to a countess telling her how she looked like her mom when she was still young when she noticed a girl looking at her while sipping from her glass. Hindi nagtagpo ang mga mata nila dahil pasimple itong umiwas ng tingin.

Lady Lara felt like floating. She had nothing to do but feed her ears with the compliments. Tipid siyang ngumiti sa kausap na babae saka nagpaalam. "If you excuse me, madame, I shall go to pee."
 
She then turned her back and walked to a corner where people weren’t facing. Nagbaba siya nang tingin at saka inilabas ang paang nakasuot ng may mahabang takong. Kanina niya pa tinitiis ang sakit kaya’t dali-dali niya itong hinubad. Matatakpan rin naman ang paa niya dahil sa hanggang sahig na haba ng pulang bestida. She sighed in relief before facing the hall again, but she was frightened when she saw someone a couple of steps from her.
 
"Hi," the girl in a blue dress greeted her with a seemingly measured smile.
 
Palinga-palinga si Lara bago sininyas ang sarili bilang tanong. The girl assuredly nodded before tilting her head to look at the heels behind Lara.
 
"Uh, I-I was hurting, that’s why I . . . uh . . ." Lara seemed to be uncomfortable talking.
 
"It’s okay. I have the same case." The girl held her dress up and showed her flat sandals under it. "I don’t like heels, either."
 
Lara mouthed a surprised reaction.
 
"I’m Kanye, by the way. Do we need some formal greetings?"
 
"No, no. A-Ayos lang. ‘Wag ka na yumuko," ani Lara. "I’m . . . I’m Lara." Inayos niya ang saya ng bestida saka tinitigan ang babae mula paa hanggang ulo. "You’re tall."
 
Kanye instantly chuckled after hearing it. Napatitig si Lara sa kaniya. She looked like a young girl version of the emperor. How could anyone be so pretty? "No, dear. You’re just short."
 
Right after hearing it, Lara gulped. She didn’t know how to respond to that insult. She started to have a prejudice against the girl when Kanye suddenly smiled. "I’m not joking, but at least I’m being honest. You see those women talking to you earlier?" Tinabihan nito si Lara saka tinuro ang mga ginang na ngayo’y nanunuod sa nagtitipa ng piano.

The night was peaceful. People were facing the pianist the duchess hired to play. It was as if the dancing would start any minute soon. "They were talking behind your back. They said you only got looks, but it seems like you are not as excellent as your mom was in her youth."
 
"Are you only here to tell me that?" Lara asked, but couldn’t absorb Kanye’s words yet.
 
"Nope. I’m here to wish you a happy birthday." Kanye smiled again and took Lara’s arm. "Do you like cherries? I wanna eat with you."
 
Lara was almost too stunned to speak. "No, what you said—"
 
"Ah, that. Don’t worry too much. I, too, am always compared to my mom. Come on, if they see you lonely tonight, they'll add more to those mean comments. So tag along with me."
 
Lara couldn’t help but express her surprise through her face. Just what is she? She thought. Nagulat pa siya nang biglang kunin ni Kanye ang kamay niya, at hinila siya pabalik sa piging. Kanye then took some cherries from the long table and gave her some too. "I’m Kanye Grandé."
 
Lara smiled a little. "Sinabi mo na kanina. Eh pero—Grandé? As in the Grandé Empire?"
 
Kanye pouted, and then nodded at her. Malikot ang mata nitong tumingin sa mga pagkain at nang makita ang cake ay naglakad ito patungo ro’n. Nang makabalik kay Lara ay may dala na naman itong platito.
 
"So you are a royal?" Lara asked after Kanye settled beside her.
 
Kanye nodded as she chewed a large portion of the cake. "But I don't like the idea," anito habang ngumunguya. "To be that prince’s sister is tedious. Besides, no one has permitted me to reside in the palace."
 
"B-Bakit?" imik ni Lara.
 
"Just because my surname is Grandé doesn’t mean I’m a princess," Kanye coldly answered.
 
"But by chance, are you close with the empress?" Lara curiously asked.
 
Nakita niyang matigilan si Kanye. Tipid itong ngumiti sa kaniya bago mabagal na ibinaba ang hawak na platito. She amusedly looked at Lara and tilted her head, her fingers playing on the table. "You haven’t gone out, have you?"
 
Lara was caught off guard, but she managed to fake a smile. Why lie? She told herself this. "Yeah, it's, uh . . ."
 
"You’re lucky," Kanye said, followed by a smile. "You've got a peaceful life then."
 
"What do you mean?" Lara’s forehead started to crease.
 
"It means you didn’t have to see chaos. You didn’t have to live up to those people’s standards." Ininguso nito ang mga tao sa paligid nila. "You didn’t even have to wear a single jewel." Kanye looked at Lara’s chest. "And I’m jealous." Lara became silent, intrigued by everything she heard from the girl.
 
"But it's a pleasure to meet you, Lady Lara. I hope to see you more often," Kanye said. She leaned closer to kiss Lara’s cheek. "Now I have to find someone to dance with." Kinindatan nito si Lara. "How—you. Come, dance."
 
Lara looked around, remembering why she was excited about the ball. Duke Cassano. But she didn’t even know what he looked like. "Go on, may hahanapin rin ako eh," aniya kay Kanye. Nagkibit-balikat ang kapwa dalagita saka siya iniwanan.

Lara advanced her steps toward the crowd, trying to smile at anyone she crossed paths with but focusing her mind on finding someone whose appearance she didn’t even know. The music was at a fast tempo, and the people were living in the moment at the center of the wide floor. Lara tried to fit herself into the crowd, watching those who were dancing.
 
"She's a beautiful young lady, but she looks too innocent."

"I doubt she's going to be like her mother."
 
Lara heard it. Some nobles were still gossiping about her, and it made her uncomfortable. Ngayon ay hinahanap na ng mga mata niya ang mga magulang, pero mukhang mahirap sila hanapin sa napunong espasyo. Siguro ay marami pa silang kausap na importanteng tao.
  
One laughed upon hearing the other. They seemed to be ignoring Lara’s presence.
 
"I can still recall Duchess Liria holding a sword at her debutante ball back then. She looked so tough, while her daughter seems to have an odd posture."
 
"Yeah. She's too skinny."
 
"Oh, maybe she hasn't held a sword in her entire life."
 
Lara couldn’t help but listen. She started to feel bad.
 
They must have thought it was mascaraed and that there was no way I could recognize their faces under their hats. Is this the kind of high society I'm stepping into? Gosh, this is the first time I've gotten annoyed in my entire life.
 
How are they even worthy of the invitations?
 
Are they just here to speak ill of the night's heroine?
 
"Oh didn't you know? She was adopted."
 
Lara gulped upon hearing this. Para bang umiikot ang buong lugar, habang pinakikinggan niya ang mga salita nila. She was desperately looking around to see her parents or even just her nanny. It's her first time being talked about badly. It's her first time to receive such disapproval . . . and body shaming. It’s certainly her first time being hurt.
 
She ran to the corridors as fast as she can to hide her silent cries from everyone. And if that's not enough torture, she slipped and got her knees to slide through the floor. It added to her tears. Nararamdaman niya na ang paninikip ng dibdib niya. She couldn’t stop crying. But it’s too silent. She was crying, but she couldn’t scream. Her knuckles were out while her hands were on the floor. She had gone far from the hall where the ball and the dancing continued. So odd that no one even noticed her disappearance until a voice arrived.
 
"Lady Lara?"
 
She heard a confused tone followed by steps approaching her. She gulped. Lalo siyang kinabahan nang makita niya ang asul na saya sa harapan niya. Tiningala niya ito at biglaan na lang nabalot ng kahihiyan ang katawan niya. "Come on, let me help you up." Kanye stretched out a hand. "Were you . . . oh, you are crying." Lara didn’t have the gut to take it.
 
"God, your whole face is wet," gulat na ani Kanye pagkatapos niyang lumuhod rin sa sahig. She tucked Lara’s hair into the back of her ears before she tried to wipe away the girl’s tears. Lara couldn’t look at her. She even wished the ground would eat her up. "W-Where are you going?" ani Kanye nang dagliang tumayo si Lara at tumalikod. Agad-agad itong tumakbo para tunguhin ang kuwarto ng nanny niya.
 
 

THE COLD from the concrete wall sent chills to the girl's back. Her teeth teared her lip's skin as she slid herself down. Her butt hit the floor but it couldn't equal the pain she's feeling inside her chest. She hugged her knees, and closed her eyes tight, helplessly praying that when she opens it again, daylight would hug her. But the dark prevailed, along with its associate evils, it choked her, inserting a memory creeping up to her head. She gasped for breath as her tears heated her face and her hairs started to stand. She tried to scream, but her strength could only produce a sob. Looking up, she let herself be devoured by the uncomfortable scene she was living inside her head; a silhouette started to comb her hair with its thick fingers that had already touched every part of her body.

"Lara . . . Lara wake up."

Lady Lara pulled the unfamiliar texture up as she was woken up by that urgent voice. She lifted her torso and met her mother's stare.

"That must have been a tough dream, you're sweating," the duchess clicked her tongue out of worry, "I was worried you couldn't be seen anywhere. 'Yon pala ay nasa kuwarto ka lang ng nanny mo. Dinalaw ka ba ng antok pagkatapos no'n anak?"
 
Lara had already recovered her breath when she looked at the duchess, wondering if she should tell her mom about what happened last night. But she chose not to.
 
Baka sabihin niya, hindi lang ako sanay. I don't know much about the outside world, about the people outside our estate. Siguro normal lang talagang may kumukutya. Siguro ay hindi dapat iyakan. 
 
"Gano'n nga po," she lied and looked down.
 
The duchess sighed and smiled. "Drink your milk," aniya pa at ibinigay kay Lara ang baso. Lara was thankful her nanny wasn't there, perhaps she went out to cook earlier. Kundi ay mahihirapan siyang magsinungaling.
 
"Mom, will this make me fat?" Lara inquired.
 
"Why? Are you not going to drink it?"
 
"N-No. I just kind of wonder if it really works. I mean, lagi niyo po ako ni nanny pinapainom ng ganito, hindi naman po ako tumataba."
 
Kumunot ang noo ng duchess. "Gusto mong tumaba?"
 
"O-Oh . . ." Napatungo si Lara at tiningnan ang mga hita niya. "Siguro." Her voice went low.
 
The duchess reached for her daughter’s hand. "Darling, you have a nice shape; don't ever think you’re too skinny. It's just that you're not a male to have such muscles."
 
"But you said so," Lady Lara argued. "You said I am skinny, so you suggested the designer make me a dress with sleeves."
 
The duchess stopped, and then chuckled. "I don’t see anything wrong with that. I mean, you have always told me to buy you dresses with sleeves. Darling, being skinny is not a worry. As long as you are healthy. Oh, I know. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m just too familiar with Maureen. Now don’t worry about that, okay? Most people find skinny girls cute."
 
"No, they don’t," Lara unconsciously muttered.
 
"Lady Lara?" She looked up at her mom calling her name. "You were crying last night, weren’t you?" Napakurap-kurap si Lara. Sigurado siyang nahalata ng duchess ang mga mata niya. She was starting to get nervous when her mother caught her hand again while staring at her intently. "Lara, please listen." Lara tried to open her mouth, but no words came out. "Please, look at me straight," her mom commanded with a clear voice. Lara gulped. She felt something strange when her mom held her hand tightly. "Look at me, Lara," her mom repeated in a loud voice.
 
"Mom," kinakabahang aniya.
 
"Do not ever . . . cry again. Do you understand?" Such strength was in the duchess’ voice. Lara couldn’t help but nod when she sensed it. "No tears should be coming from those eyes again."
 
Lara sighed in relief when the duchess finally let go of her hand and looked away. Walang lumabas na salita mula sa bibig ng dalagita. The duchess didn’t meet her eyes again and just stood up. As Lara was staring at her mother’s back, the duchess spoke, "Meet me in the library when afternoon comes."
 
 
 
LARA WALKED toward the window just to see the sunset. Ilang oras na siyang nag-antay sa library tulad nang sinabi sa kaniya ng duchess. There she took her noon nap, dahil naantok na sya dahil walang kausap. Pero mapahanggang ngayong gising na siya ay wala pa rin ang duchess.
 
She saw the orange horizon outside. Tandang maggagabi na. Nag-antay pa siya nang ilang minuto hanggang tuluyan nang dumilim. She was about to decide to leave the room. Pero napaatras lang siya at nabangga ang likuran sa pintuan dahil sa nadatnan sa labas.
 
The servants were crowding the hallway and making their way down. Ang ingay rin nila at ang mga mukha ay parang gulat na gulat, kinakabahan, at nagmamadali. Ni wala nang nakapansin sa kaniya.
 
What are they up to?
 
Dahil sa pagtataka niya ay dumugtong si Lara sa paglalakad ng nahuli sa kanila at nagmadali rin silang sinundan pababa.
 
Only for her to see one of her father's knights carrying Duchess Liria in his arms. Walang malay at . . . duguan.
 
"Make way, make way!" said the man. He hurriedly approached the duke, who was now on the stairs.
 
"What the hell happened?" Umalingawngaw ang sigaw ng duke sa buong mansion.
 
"Her grace was ambushed on her way to the palace," kinakabahang ani lalaki.

Ni hindi magawa ni Lara ang lumapit roon, hindi siya agad makagalaw at binibingi siya ng sariling tunog ng dibdib.
 
Nilapitan agad iyon ng duke at pinulsuhan ang asawa. Pailing-iling ito at nag-angat ng tingin.

"Call Lara and empty the place." Nanginginig ang boses ng duke nang sabihin iyon.
 
Habang si Lara naman ay natigilan, nalilitong tiningnan ang mga taong nakapansin sa presensiya niya. Inihiga ng lalaki ang duchess sa sahig at agad na nilapitan si Lara sa gitna ng nagkukumpulang mga katulong. Tulalang napatitig ang dalagita sa kaniya.
 
"Leave Lady Lara and the Duke alone, now!" He instructed, and the people nervously obliged. In just a minute, silence reigned.
 
Kinakabahan man ay nilapitan ni Lara ang ama na hawak-hawak ngayon ang leeg ng duchess para ramdamin. Pati ang lalaki kanina ay umalis na rin at iniwan ang mag-ama. The duke slowly looked up at her daughter. Makikita agad ang pagtulo ng luha mula sa mata nito. Para bang nagmamakaawa ang mukha nito kay Lady Lara.
 
"Lara, please . . ." the duke stammered. "Cry, Lara . . . please cry . . ."
 
Lara was gasping for breath and words. Kahit ang bigat ng pakiramdam niya habang pinapanood ang pag-iyak ng duke, kahit nakita niya mismo sa harapan ang duguang katawan ng ina, kahit nanghihina na ang mga tuhod niya . . . not a single drop of tears escaped from her eyes.
 
 ***

A/N: Alam niyo naman na siguro sasabihin ko. Salamat ulit! Comment your comments (ano pa nga ba) below or inline. I'd like to know your theories. Again, thank you sa pagbabasa.