To Lead Or Not To Lead

Tara'li

After the battle and after letting the Lamia of my squad fix me up I'm surprised by the leader of the council walking over, in full armor. 'Council member Tara'li. I heard about your battle and I'm here to commend you. Congratulations.'

I hold moms sword up. 'I indeed did it. Mom has been avenged. Though now... I feel empty. This is what I wished for but I don't know what to do now. I cannot send the armies away but I don't have the heart to push on now...'

The leader uses his tail to raise my chin. 'Do not despair. You did what many failed to do. You reached the point where you can finish the war. If you wish, I will step down so you can lead the charge yourself.'

I turn away from him. 'Let me think about it. Right now I'm not in a state of mind to make decisions. I don't even know if I want to push on and have more people lose their lives.'

We are interrupted by Celeste who runs over. 'Tara'li, leader... something is going on. Please follow me...'

She runs away and I don't even have the energy to keep up with her. The leader walks with me until we reach the outskirts of the camp where people are mourning the dead. One body is surrounded not by mourners, but spectators. As I walk over I see it is Tresh'ta. Why are people surrounding her? As I walk over I see her breath. My mouth drops open and though I do draw moms sword once more I cannot get myself to strike down again. 'How... she was dead! I saw it myself...'

Celeste nods. 'We all did. She only now started breathing again. She died yet she is alive...'

I see her eyes open now. However something is not right. Her eyes used to be dark purple, but now they are greenish grey. My mouth drops open. Then she sits up and looks around. When she sees the leader she lowers her head. 'I guess it is time for me to pay for my actions.'

Her voice... this isn't the Tresh'ta I know. Not the harsh voice of the Demon Commander. I close my eyes and put my hand on her shoulder, at which she puts her hand on me. I probe her body with my mind, seeing so much that feels wrong. All across her body black lines have spread out. But the lines, spread like blood vessels, are disintegrating. They seem to fall apart like ash. I follow the black vessels to their origin and discover to my horror where they lead. A second heart, in her stomach, where I stabbed her. Like the black vessels it is falling apart into dust, her body fighting the infectious darkness. I draw my mind out and breath deeply. Now I notice everyone is staring at me, and I doubt it is because I have my wings propped open partially. The leader taps my shoulder. 'Please let go of her.'

I speak softly. 'The evil inside her is dying. Her second heart is turning to dust. The poison and moms blade killed it.'

The shock hits all the people standing around like a boulder. Celeste closes her eyes and checks Tresh'ta as well and then nods. 'She is speaking the truth. Tresh'ta is... healing. The darkness is dying inside of her. The fallen can be healed through death.'

I get up and walk away from Tresh'ta to everyones surprise. I go to the command tent and start working on the table, moving around figures, removing figures where we lost entire units and placing a few dragons down where the Riders joined. I know I only do it because I don't want to face Tresh'ta. Deep inside I can't forgive her for killing mom, even though in essence I did kill her in return for it. However... I cannot kill her again. Especially not now that she has been cured.

I then hear Sha'iva come in. 'I heard what happened. You did it, sister. And she even came back...'

I slam my fist on the table. 'Everyone thinks this is a good thing. Oh great, the mother I never knew has come back to life after I stabbed her through a heart. Now what? Do I have to give her a hug? Tell her I love her? No, Sha'iva. It has just made things even more complicated for me. She is still nothing to me. She still hasn't been there in my life. She killed the one who was like a mother to me. Yes I returned the favor, but I can't forgive her for it. At least I don't think I can.'

The answer comes from an unexpected corner. Rashter responds, not with words but with a memory. I know it is one of my own memories.

I'm laying in some bed, seeing pointy eared mommy and round eared daddy. They both look at me with love, however mommy seems to hear something and runs away. Daddy starts speaking in a strange language and a light surrounds me...

In the evening I find myself sitting outside the planning tent. I'm staring out over the camp, thinking about happened. Soon I find the leader walk over with Tresh'ta and Sha'iva with them. The leader speaks softly. 'Queen Tara'li, please talk with Tresh'ta. It can be... enlightening.'

I look up to them, half wanting to send them all away or returning to my tent so the guards can hold them all out. Sha'iva notices it. 'Sister, I know you and Tresh'ta don't get along. However she has... enlightened us on how she fell.'

I look away. 'How it happened doesn't matter to me. That it happened does. Just like it matters to me that she killed her sister who was like a mother to me, claiming I should be crawling back to her because she is my mother. No. I don't have a mother any more.'

Tresh'ta takes a step forward. 'I'm not claiming that, Shirley. I'm only hoping that enlightening you on my fall can shield you from suffering the same faith...'

When I don't speak she tells me about how she left the Elven kingdom, how she trained to become a Dragon Rider and how she met my father, who was also a mage. When I was born her entire squad was there. They had requested to be stationed at my village as it had turned out. Then a Demon invasion happened that killed her dragon and half her squad. Someone she calls the Demon Lord told her that he would kill and burn all she loved if she didn't fall, and when she did and was first brought to his castle he had said the entire village was slaughtered. She then tells about some machine allowing people to appear in dreams of others they got a distinct connection with. How at one point the Demon Lord told her to try it out...

When she is done she lowers her head. 'I should have known he was lying when he said you were dead. I never returned to your village to see how you were doing. But... what happened after I fell?'

I close my eyes. 'I do not own those memories any more. After the reveal that you are my mother I entered a state of shock. Mom was brought over from the Elven kingdom to cure me from it, but to do so meant to rewrite my history. The only one who knows is my dragon and I do not wish to know.'

When Rashter walks over I go into the tent to let him tell Tresh'ta what happened. Then I hear the guards stop her from entering the tent. Sha'iva does enter and puts a hand on my shoulder. 'Are you all right?'

I shake my head. 'Ever since my name change my driving force has been that the one who gave birth to me never cared about me. I've heard so many things about the past, some which could be the truth, some which could be a lie. But what bothers me the most is I've been living the lie. She never did try to discover the truth but neither did she abandon me because she didn't care. When she tried to make me fall... she wanted to get me back. Now I understand why mom said not to go to hard on Tresh'ta...'

Both of us step out the tent. I take a couple of deep breaths and then turn to Tresh'ta. 'For now I cannot trust you yet. Nor can I call you my mother with the death of mom so recently on my memory. All I can do is let you walk around the camp while I try to discover the truth about the past and present. However, I will not let my old memories back. They caused me to almost die once before and I will not make the same mistake again.'

To the surprise of everyone standing around I stretch my wings and jump as hard as I can into the air to take flight. I need a moment to put my thoughts straight. I need to be alone and cannot be alone on the ground. I know Sha'iva would follow me wherever I go to try and help me sort my thoughts, but she would unknowingly just make more of a mess from them. I need a clear mind now.

As I turn a bit I see the sun setting over the red plains. In my life I would not have thought so much red could be in a single place, but one thing I do notice is the occasional little green line spreading into the red. Life is returning to the red plains. I angle my left wing down and look out over the plains, towards the Demon camp that is still burning. All the Demons died in the battle leaving none in the camp to defend it. Though we lost our share of people to traps around and in the camp, it is a symbol of our victory. Below I already hear the Dwarves celebrate, while the Orks are brawling with each other about kill counts. The Dwarven king was right...

The next morning I'm preparing my squad for some exercises when Tresh'ta walks over. She sees my squad and shakes her head. 'I cannot believe you got permission to do this. To have your entire squad showcase the armors of their people...'

I turn from Rashter, who I was strapping some armor plates on. 'I never really cared about that rule. The entire Dragon Guard is all about some cliche of being from all races and none. A load of claptrap if you ask me. We are of all races. We should showcase who we are. Be the heroes that represent our races. I trust everyone in my squad with my life. In the hunt for you, all of us have saved each of the others lives at least once.'

I then return to the armor plate. For some reason Tresh'ta decides to show off and help me put the plate on. Then she speaks softly. 'You caught me off guard with your army as well. I didn't know you gathered so many races until the battle commenced. Though I'm not happy with the dropping of the tree of life... I'm curious why this banner.'

When the plate is finally strapped on I grab my shield. 'It is because the king of the Dwarves and I are allies. This is the symbol of our friendship. His hammer and moms sword.'

She lets her hand glide over the symbol. 'You... made peace with them? How did you do that?'

I chuckle as I put the shield away and grab the next plate to put on Rashter. 'The same way I lead my squad. The same way I am both the queen of the Elves and the council member of the Dragon Guard. By not following the rules put in place by others and doing things my own way. I learned about the Dwarven culture. I helped bury the father of two in my squad. I joined in with them celebrating their fathers life... also I broke the decision of the council by even bringing them to the Dwarven Hold.'

I see Tresh'ta standing there gawking at me. Luckily the leader is already there to take over from me. 'Unlike you, queen Tara'li has a way with the rules. More specifically, to her they are more guidelines to be thrown out the window if they conflict her plans. Her... mind of her own has caused some issues in the past, but also turned her into a hero. People sing songs about her deeds already...'

Tresh'ta lowers her head. 'The... Demon Lord knows her as well. He send me out to capture Shirley because he knew about her work. About how she leads her squad into combat against his legions and annihilates them. I doubt he knows of my failure yet.'

When the final plate is strapped on I get into the saddle and strap myself in. 'Please don't call me that any more. I'm Tara'li now. Now if you'll excuse me, I got a training exercise to lead.'

Rashter jumps into the air followed by the rest of the wing. In the air we do the usual formation flying exercises, which by now are just standard practice. They aren't as much to train the others as they are for my own peace of mind. When we are in combat formation Rashter does something he never does. He starts going through my thoughts. 'You aren't sure about how to proceed, are you?'

I nod. 'I'm not. If we stay where we are, we will make no progress. If we push on many lives will be lost but with the Dragon Guard now here we can at least reclaim a lot of land, if not destroy the Demon invasion completely. If we call the campaign to an end now many lives will be saved, but in the future we will still pay the price.'

Rashter growls softly. 'Call a meeting with all the leaders and ask them. They should know where to go from here. Now you, lady, need to calm down. Take a few moments away from this leadership business. Go spread your wings and fly with your squad not as a Rider but as one of the dragons.'

I want to protest to Rashter but I do see the point he is making. It is out there anyway that I got wings. I used them to beat Tresh'ta and then last night to escape the conversation. I unbuckle my legs and put both legs on the sitting surface of the saddle. Behind me I hear Sha'nok yell at me. 'What are you doing?!'

Then I jump up, barely missing Sha'nok as I open my wings and start flying solo. I notice the air is very turbulent at first but when I start flying behind Treknal and Sha'iva in combat formation I notice flight is getting more stable and easier. Then the formation changes once more and I flap my wings hard a couple of times to gain altitude to see the formation returning to the V formation. It seems Sha'nok is now leading. I fall in behind Flashee and Noruk, who both smile as they see me fly alone. I found peace again.

After landing the leader and Celeste walk over to me. The leader seems astounded. 'You flew away from your dragon? Letting him lead your squad all alone without the ability to communicate orders?'

Sha'nok comes down from Rashter. 'With all due respect, sir... the dragon wasn't alone. Flashee and Noruk kinda have grown into leaders themselves...'

I stand behind Sha'nok, hands on her shoulders and feet on either side of her tail. 'Not just that. I left Sha'nok on my dragon. She knows all the drills by now and she took the lead. I think she is ready to get her own dragon and do the trials. My squad and I... we taught her all she has to know. Her combat abilities are still slightly inferior to some in my squad, as is she very stubborn, but she is ready to become a Rider.'

The leader pulls up an eye brow. 'Maybe she is. It still was reckless to put her in charge, but considering your faith in your squad... I would like her to lead a round if she knows as much as you claim. After all... it should be a breeze for her.'

Sha'nok returns to Rashter and climbs on top of him, now taking my position. Typically Sha'nok. You give her something and she goes all out. Then she leads my wing in the air. With the leader and Celeste in a small V behind me I follow the wing, specifically keeping an eye on Sha'nok. Despite not being able to communicate as well with Rashter in the air as I am, she does execute the maneuvers flawlessly. The only thing I'm not as happy with is her tendency to not hold up her arms far enough. As we have all landed I walk up to her. 'You did well, Sha'nok. However you hold your arms very low while communicating with Flashee and Noruk. Clear instructions are important.'

The leader comes over to. 'You were right, queen Tara'li. She seems to be ready, however she does not have her own dragon yet. I'll consider this being her trials as under your leadership she has seen her share of combat as well.'

The leader walks away while I get a Sha'nok that catapults herself around my neck. 'Thank you! Thank you for putting me forth!'

I smile softly and answer her hug with one of my own. 'I've seen all your hard work, even when it seemed I was off leading the Elves or doing all the paperwork. I kept an eye on you and Ra'iki. You progressed with strides, Sha'nok. You even saved my life twice. I'd love to see you in my squad soon on your own dragon. Now... go out there and meet some lone dragons. See if you find any you can connect with.'

As she lets me go and slithers off Celeste joins me. 'I'm happy you got to this point, Tara'li. To see your apprentice, your hard work, pass the trials and become a full on Rider.'

I look back at my squad, who are now celebrating as well, before answering. 'It is as much my squad as me who trained her. I've been really busy myself with you know, just about everything that happened on this world. I didn't get a chance to teach Sha'nok a lot, and when I did I was hard on her, but how she committed to the training... she learned it faster than me.'

Celeste walks with me. 'You've given someone a lot today. The question I got for you is: can you give someone else something she needs to?'

Why is she speaking in riddles again? 'What are you talking about, mage? There is nothing to give.'

Celeste slows down a bit. 'I'm talking about Tresh'ta. She is clean. Redeemed. One thing you taught the council, most of all the leader and me, is forgiveness. I know it is hard for you, but can you forgive her at least? I know why she did it. She had no choice. A Demon Commander, when given orders, has to follow them until the Greater Demon that holds their soul crystal no longer has said crystal. When you stabbed her...'

I feel some doubts come up. How does she know all this. 'I missed my target. That is where I stabbed.'

Celeste shakes her head. 'You hit the right spot. A Demon Commander has two hearts. Sha'nok's poison, up to a point, shut down the enhancing properties of the Demon heart. It could no longer support Tresh'ta as it was fighting with the poison of a Lamia. It wasn't enough to kill her, but it weakened her. Then you stabbed her in the Demon heart. In a way, you did kill her. You killed Demon Commander Tresh'ta. Because she died her Soul Crystal shattered. But her real heart started again. She is cleansed. You don't have to accept her as a mother, but please give her a chance to redeem herself.'

I think for a moment. 'How big is the chance she will betray us once again? She has fallen to the Demons before. Can it happen again?'

Celeste lowers her head. 'As long as you don't fall I don't think she will either. She wishes to make it up with you.'

The leaders of the armies are all in the tent. Well, when I say all... the leader of the Dragon Guard council is so large his head is just laying at the entrance to the dismay of the guards. One other person is in the room. Tresh'ta. I requested her here to get intel at least if we march on. I sigh. 'We have a choice to make now. Five of us are in command of the largest army this world has ever seen. The Demons may not know it yet, however. The choice we have to make... it will shape the lives of not just the people in that army, but for our descendants for generations to come. What do we do?'

All of them stare at me. I explain. 'We have been camping here for I don't know how long, initially to wait for the Dragon Guard or the army lead by now former Demon Commander Tresh'ta but these last three days because I couldn't force myself to make a decision. We have three choices, each choice will have bad consequences for all of our races one way or another. If we push on, many people will die. We can end the Demons invasion but it will cost us all a lot. If we stay here and fortify our position, we can form a bulwark and let them come to us, however it allows the Demons to regroup and attack again which will result again in many deaths. The third option is to disband the army and return to day to day lives, to let the war wage on in smaller engagements which will mean future generations have to deal with the Demons to.'

It becomes deadly silent in the tent. I know both Tera'shi and king Richard have been doubting my lack of taking action these past few days, though now I put the dilemma in front of them neither dares speak. Even the leader of the Dragon Guard dares not speak. As we all stare at the table king Derkley puts his hammer against a tent post. 'I told ye I would support ye in this war. Me kin and I have come for the war. Let us finish what has been started. I vote we push on. Many will die, ye. But many more will be saved. Let the stone quiver under the sound of our boots.'

This seems to have snapped something. The leader grumbles. 'You called all of us to war, queen Tara'li. We of the Dragon Guard should have acted upon this so much earlier instead of sitting in our fortifications and letting the Demons rampage across the world. You made us realize our mistakes when you called for action. I know some people in this tent will not agree... but it is time to push on. Even if we cannot beat the Demon invasion... we can beat them back so hard they will never dare set foot outside their forts again. Push on.'

King Richard shakes his head. 'We have barely any men to speak off. These Demons... they are nothing like what I expected. My knights are being chopped up as if it is nothing... I can't sacrifice more men...'

Tera'shi clutches her staff. 'You were right, queen Tara'li. You were right when you told me about the red plains. How the Demons take life away from the world. I didn't believe you... but now I've seen it with my own eyes. I cannot let my people deal with this happening to their home. Nor can I let it happen to the Emerald City. Keep going. Strike back for what has been done to the Emerald City. Burn their home like they burned ours.'

I grab my roughly forged dagger and toss it tip first into the table, towards the end the Demons have come from before. 'Then it is decided. We will move on. Give the orders to pack up. We will be moving out once everyone is ready. The journey will be a harsh one and I expect much opposition, but we will bring an end to the invasion.'

Tresh'ta steps up. 'The attack you defeated, the one lead by... me, it had a majority of the Demon forces from the castle as well as from the area around here in it. There will be stragglers but not many. If we push on fast they won't have time to organize which we can use to our advantage.'

They all nod and walk out. Then I turn to her. 'I need to talk with you once more. I have given it some thought. Moms dead still is to fresh for me and I don't think I can forget any time soon. However, I want to give you a chance. I remember one thing mom once said to me, before she was dying. She said you weren't fully lost yet. Not just that... it was me who brought Sha'iva and mom back together again. Because of me Sha'iva and her mother reconnected. However I now did the same thing as she did...'

Tresh'ta lowers her head. 'Though I was following orders... I don't forgive myself either. My sister had changed so much. I wish to put it right if you allow me. I want to make up for my past mistakes.'

I chuckle. 'Then you can start with removing that Demon junk from your body. I'll send for one of the Elven smiths to make you a proper armor again. You look like you are about to betray us all over again in that Demon armor.'

Tresh'ta looks up and smiles softly through her tears. 'Thank you... Tara'li...'