Hyde managed to stop himself scrubbing at his skin as if he could remove it after half an hour in the shower, but his body was still pink and blotchy where he had tried. Nothing could wash the feeling of those hands from his flesh and he could only pray that one day he would be able to forget. He had not spoken much since he had woken and Megumi had been reluctant to let him out of her sight, but Gackt had convinced her to let him come into the bathroom alone.

He felt like he had aged a lifetime in a few days, which was rather funny considering he would never age again. He could barely bring himself to look at his reflection in the mirror. What gazed back looked like Hyde, even still moved like Hyde since he did not seem to possess the effortless grace that Gackt had, but he did not feel like himself. It was like he was living in a stranger's skin and he didn't know how to deal with that.

Wrapping himself in the huge fluffy robe on the back of the door, he knew he had to go back into the other room where Gackt and Megumi were waiting, but he wasn't sure if he could. They were giving him space, but he did not think his period of grace would last much longer. He suspected it would be Megumi that came looking for him.

He did not want her to have to put him back together again, because his wife was strong, but she was not invincible and eventually his pain would break her too. He could never allow that. He had to get through this for her if nothing else and, pulling the collar of the robe up so that he was almost hiding in it, he stepped up to the door.

The moment he exited the bathroom Megumi stood up from where she was sitting demurely on the now made bed and walked towards him. She took his hand and gave him a small supportive smile, leading him over to one of the two chairs in the room and urging him to sit down. He sank into the relatively large chair and before he realised what he was doing he had pulled his legs up so that they were almost a shield. It occurred to him that this was probably not the best signal to be giving out, but, once he was in the strangely comforting position, he could not seem to make himself give it up.

"How do you feel," Gackt asked from where his friend was standing in the corner, "physically," Gackt clarified, for which Hyde was inordinately grateful; the last thing he wanted to do was try and talk about his feelings.

"Tired," he admitted, since he did think he could sleep for quite a long time, "and I think I'm hungry."

It was a strange feeling, not quite what he had come to expect from hunger, but nevertheless, almost the same.

"Not really surprising; your body is using a great deal of energy changing your metabolism," Gackt said, and Hyde tried not to react to the outside confirmation of what he now was.

It was one thing to know, but it was another for Gackt to say it so plainly. Hyde did his best to remain calm.

"The conversion normally takes a few days," Gackt continued to speak as if everything was perfectly normal, "but, because of the complications, yours is taking a little longer. Another day and you should be feeling more active again."

The last thing Hyde wanted to talk about was the complication whose name he refused to even think, so he desperately tried to make sure it was not mentioned.

"Any trouble from revealing your status?" he asked, doing his best to think about anything but swords and blood and screams and ... he stopped his thoughts before they could run away with him.

"None," Gackt replied as if it didn't matter anyway; "I have spoken to their clan head once and she was very sympathetic to my position. No one from the Serpent Clan will reveal my identity to the wider vampire population."

"That's good," Hyde said, but he was perilously close to thinking about what he really didn't want to be thinking about.

Needing a distraction, any distraction, he stood up rapidly and walked to the window at which point his body objected. He felt momentarily weak and his stomach stabbed with pain making him wince and bend over slightly.

"You need to feed," Gackt said and his voice was much closer than Hyde remembered it.

He turned to find that his friend was only a few feet away now. He knew without having to ask that Gackt was talking about blood and that idea filled him with dread.

"Can't I just have some food?" he asked, hoping that he didn't sound like a petulant child.

Gackt gave him a small smile, obviously he did sound like a big baby.

"You will not be able to eat food for a while yet," his friend told him calmly, "not until your body has adjusted at least a little further. Until then you require blood."

"Where from," Hyde so did not wish to talk about this, but he was not a fool and he could not ignore what Gackt was telling him.

"Me," Gackt replied.

Hyde felt cold and anxiety filled him. The thought of having to bite his friend brought up all sorts of connotations.

"It will be at least a month before you can feed from anyone else," Gackt said calmly, obviously being as gentle as he knew how. "Your body is still adjusting and until all the changes are complete you will have to feed from me at least once every two days."

Hyde wasn't sure if he could, not now that he knew what he was doing. He remembered all too clearly what had happened when Gackt had fed from him. The mutual attraction was still there, worryingly stronger thanks to the bond they now shared in fact, and the ramifications of this frightened Hyde more than a little. He was not sure he could handle anything sexual at the moment, let alone something that intense, especially not with Megumi there.

He did not realise he was moving until his back hit the wall and it shocked him from his own little world back into reality. His gums were throbbing, which told him his body wanted to feed even if his mind didn't, and he slowly slid down the wall, putting his head on his knees and wishing that this was happening to someone else.

In under a month he had gone from blissfully unaware mortal to vampire child of the High Dragon of Kyoto, which had enough baggage as it was, but no, he had to have been kidnapped and raped as well. He wondered briefly if he gave up would it all just end, but, even as he considered it, he knew he could not do that to Megumi or to Gackt. If nothing else, he could live for them.

"Hyde-kun," Gackt gently touched his arm and his slowly looked up, "I'm sorry, but you must feed. If you leave it, you will lose all control."

Hyde was vaguely aware of the tears that were running down his face again, but it was almost as if it was someone else who was crying. He inclined his head slightly, acknowledging that he knew Gackt was right, but he could not bring himself to move. Only as Gackt slowly urged him to his feet did he begin to uncurl, and he allowed himself to be pulled to a standing position.

His eyes flicked over Megumi, who was watching him with worry in her features, and he felt guilt as well as fear. He did not know how much she knew, how much Gackt had told her, and he did not know how to explain this to her. What would she think if she knew the truth? The last thing he wanted to do was cause her pain.

"Gatchan," Megumi said quietly as Hyde tried to quell the panic in his heart, "please would you leave us alone for a moment."

Gackt looked surprised and momentarily unsure, but as blue eyes flicked between him and Megumi, Hyde saw realisation dawn. Without further comment, Gackt nodded and quickly walked to the door. As soon as Gackt was gone Megumi walked towards him and reached out and took his hand, leading him towards the bed and pulling him down so they were sitting side by side.

"I know everything," she said quietly, stroking his hand with a constant rhythm, "Gackt explained what happened between you that started all this. I don't blame you, my love; he is a difficult man not to be attracted to. I know you would never have acted on it. I trust you, and I know you are likely to react if you have to feed. You do not have to be ashamed; I know it will be hard enough for you anyway. I will not stop loving you because of things you cannot control."

Hyde wiped his face on the sleeve of his robe and could not help wondering what he had done to deserve such a wonderful wife. He was a vampire and yet she still loved him; he was uncontrollably attracted to the vampire who had made him and yet she still loved him; he did not understand how Megumi could forgive him these things. When he had come away it had just been to make a film and so much had happened that he felt like he was living in a different world, but still Megumi was there for him.

"I gave you my heart," she said, wiping the last of his tears off his cheeks, "I love you, my darling; all I ask is that you do not stop loving me."

Not knowing what else to do he reached out to her, pulling her close. When she wound her arms around him as well, they remained like that, totally still for a long time. Only when Hyde felt his teeth begin to ache again did he finally move away. He could see a great strength in Megumi's eyes, and he took courage in that, glancing at the door; it was time to start living again.

Very slowly he stood up, releasing Megumi's hand only reluctantly and he made his way to the door. He opened it, knowing Gackt would hear it and then he walked back the way he had come. He could not bring himself to call to his friend, but he was sure Gackt would return anyway.

He felt Gackt come up behind him rather than heard his maker and he turned slowly to find Gackt giving him a small smile.

"You are one of the bravest men I know," Gackt told him and reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. "You have faced the worst; this is nothing in comparison."

Hyde gave a derisive laugh.

"It doesn't feel like it," he replied, trying to bring his heart rate under control from where it was thumping like the whole percussion section of an orchestra.

"That's because you over dramatize everything," Gackt told him and Hyde appreciated the effort to lighten the situation.

"I think that's you," Hyde replied in kind.

Gackt tilted his head in acknowledgement as Hyde did his best not to let his nervousness get the better of him. He could feel his need for blood, and he felt the craving begin to overpower his anxiety as he deliberately reached for it. His eyes flicked to the pulse he could see beating in Gackt's neck and he felt his gums begin to ache before his fangs began to move downwards. It was the strangest sensation now that he was completely aware of it. He let himself concentrate on that rather than worrying about what was to happen next.

Every smell in the room was clear to him now that his vampire was in the open and part of his mind even wondered what he looked like, but most of his focus was on the delicious scent directly in front of him. There was something about Gackt that sung in his senses and he leant forward before he really thought about it. He had to rise on his toes to reach properly, but Gackt helped by pulling him close and gently cradling his head as he dimly remembered his maker doing when he had been barely able to move.

He opened his mouth on instinct and bit down as soon as he was in reach. The moan of pleasure was completely involuntary as the most wonderful flavour burst into his mouth. The rest of his body began to respond almost instantly, and the little groan from Gackt sent shivers of excitement through him as well as the vampire power that circled through his body. For a moment he felt pleasure that was not his own and it was wonderful, but it frightened him. He forced it away, instead concentrating on his own experiences.

Drinking deeply, he rested his hands against Gackt's chest, feeling the life pumping through it under his fingers as he drew the source into his mouth. It was the most incredible feeling. He let himself become lost in it as he took in the essence of Gackt.

It was heady and incredibly intoxicating, and it was not long before he felt himself about to go over the edge. With every ounce of will he had left, he pulled back. The wound was still bleeding slowly, and he could not take his eyes off it as it gradually began to close.

It was quite an amazing sight and it kept his attention for a good few seconds. However, his eyes just happened to descend towards the floor, and he couldn't help seeing that Gackt trousers were looking rather tight. Hyde could not help blushing as he realised that he had had the same effect on his friend as Gackt had had on him and he stepped back quickly trying to regain his composure.

He was surprised that he felt no revulsion at the thought of anything sexual; he was not comfortable, but he was not repelled either. That idea, however, brought him back to the ones he was trying to avoid and that was very quick at destroying any arousal he had felt. He nodded his thanks to Gackt and then headed for the bed where he sat down, curled into a protective ball and used one of the pillows as shelter. His world seemed to be an up and down rollercoaster, but he did his best to appear calm when Megumi sat down next to him. He prayed silently that everything would become easier as time passed.