Josh met Boomer near the heart of the Sanctum. A large tree shot up into the sky, and a few of its gigantic roots protruded from the ground. Boomer enjoyed curling up beneath them.

Now he sat in front of the tree, his head tilted as he watched Josh's approach.

If you scream into my side, it may muffle it enough, Boomer offered, a false nonchalance in his tone.

Josh patted him on the shoulder and grinned. "Thanks for the offer, but I think I've done enough screaming tonight."

As much as he would have loved to lie against Boomer and take the weight off his feet, too much energy kept Josh standing. A quick search of the area revealed a decent sized stick. He scooped it up and tested its weight. Nothing like a sword, but it could work. It would be like when he was a kid and found sticks to use as weapons against imaginary monsters.

Except that when he got into a stance and prepared for a mock battle, he didn't see giant snakes or hulking beasts. In his mind's eye, he saw Peter's sneering figure.

Baring his teeth, Josh lunged and slashed with the stick. Over and over again, he swung it, ignoring the heaviness in his arms and sweat trickling down his neck. Uncontrolled strikes, uncontrolled strength, uncontrolled breathing.

And for now, after almost an hour of shoving it down, uncontrolled frustration and pain.

You'll get him back, Boomer whispered. He'd been watching Josh's snap, channeling his presence while he remained quiet.

Josh paused, panting for breath. He rolled the stick in his hand. Sweat coated where he gripped. That doesn't change that maybe I could have stopped it, he said. His throat burned too much to voice the words aloud. We shouldn't have to get him back.

He dragged his forearm across his face. It came back wet, but he couldn't tell if from perspiration or from tears.

He stared at his arm for a heartbeat, then clenched his jaw and started his mock battle again. He's probably terrified. My parents are hurting. Ioana is hurting. And it's all my fault because I didn't—

Joshua.

The stick flew from his grasp. Maybe from surprise at Boomer's serious tone or his own sweat. He couldn't tell. He didn't care. The weight of everyone's fear and frustration and hurt bore down on his shoulders, heavier than before. Crushing. His lungs constricted.

I was right there. I should have done something. Anything. Instead, I just...

Energy rushed to Josh's hands. He looked down at them. At the useless hands that hadn't even been able to get a single light blast out.

Blackness sparked to life in his hands. It jumped between his fingers, moving in the frantic movements of an unpredictable zigzag. He watched, mesmerized, as the dark light moved like...

The sour taste of realization filled his mouth as the truth crashed down on him. He shouted and waved his hands, willing the dark lightning to dispel. He had summoned lightning for the first time, and it had been tainted.

Joshua, Boomer repeated, firmer this time. He stepped in front of Josh, lowering his head until his electric blue eyes stared straight into his.

"I'm sorry," Josh breathed. "I just used the bond to create..."

We've been over this. Ioana agreed. Something wasn't right about tonight. And I know you're hurting, Boomer said. And you're allowed to hurt. But beating yourself up about it... That doesn't fix anything. What did Akachi say? Learn from it? Learning and then doing something? That fixes it. Some things...

Boomer trailed off, and although he still met Josh's eyes, it was clear how badly the dragon wanted to look away. Or look within. Instead, he rested his snout on Josh's shoulder, slightly nuzzling his cheek.

Some things can't be fixed, so please. Be strong, because Eli needs that while there's still a chance.

His words coated Josh, gradually sinking in. As they did, he raised a slow hand to wrap around Boomer's neck and rested his head against the dragon's. Josh's body gave a shudder as he stopped holding back the tears.

"I'm scared," he whispered. Scared that it had been his only chance to save Eli. Scared that they wouldn't react in time. Scared of all the different emotions swirling within him.

I know. But I also know you'll soon feel something else.

Before Josh could question Boomer or piece out the meaning himself, a new voice spoke up.

"Should I come back later?"

Mara's voice sang through Josh's veins, its sound forcing him to turn around immediately.  Boomer huffed, ruffling his hair.  Mara stood by the tree, arms tucked behind her back. His gut flopped around like a fish out of water.

"It's gotta be her. She's working for the darkness, just like her Shadow Knight loving parents."

The feeling in his stomach changed to a pool of wiggling worms. He couldn't imagine Mara helping the Shadow Knights, and it didn't align with anything he had seen that night, but confusion clung to the minuscule amount of doubt.

"No, you're fine," Josh said, swiping away any remaining tears. He sniffled as well. Ugh, he was full of snot. That had to sound gross.

Mara took a seat in front of a tree and patted the spot next to her. Josh shot an apologetic smile to Boomer—who huffed yet again—and sat where she indicated.

They shared a comfortable silence. She twirled snowflakes around her fingers in that unconscious, easy way of hers. As Josh spoke up, he didn't look away from the snowflakes.

"How are you feeling?"

Mara chuckled. She dismissed the magic, and when Josh turned to her, he found her watching him. "Why are you the one asking me that?"

"Besides the fact you invited me over just to not speak?" Josh teased with a gentle smile. It came so naturally despite the whirlwind of emotions that had churned his heart only minutes ago. "That accusation before was pretty extreme."

Although she kept her expression schooled to return his smile, her eyes flashed with too many thoughts for him to decipher. "Do you believe it?"

"No," Josh said, and she released a long exhale. He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just... Confused. Why would Harrison say that? You said your parents didn't want to come up here with you. Was it because of what Harrison said? Did they really side with the Shadow Knights?"

He hadn't thought much about it when she'd mentioned her parents not coming up, too consumed with the fact she was like a sibling to Cale, but she had been very vague.

Mara averted her gaze and chewed her bottom lip. "I didn't lie to you," she said. The words seemed to drag out of her, as if she had to reach far down to get them out. "I just... I didn't want to burden you with the entire truth."

Assurance she didn't have to tell him rose up in Josh's mouth, but they wouldn't come out. He had enough of truths feeling out of reach. If she was willing to give it, he would take it.

She must have taken his silence as listening because she continued. "I grew up in Israel, right near the Palestine territory. My parents weren't around much, so most of my care came from the townspeople. Specifically our neighbor, an elderly lady. I wasn't supposed to talk with everyone, but they always did their best to reach out to me. Showed me love. But when my parents were around..."

A shadow fell over Mara's face. She looked older, more jaded. It faded from her when she sighed. Instead, she looked... Vulnerable. Josh rubbed his palm against his pants, resisting the urge to take her hand.

"They saw the love the townspeople showed me, and they tried their best to replace it with cruelty. I wasn't to show kindness to anyone around me. When I did, I would be scolded. Sometimes whipped. When I was disobedient... I would be trapped in my room for days, no food, sometimes... Sometimes with many bruises."

A wave of white-hot rage flooded through Josh, for once that night not himself. His fists curled—

Mara rested her hand over top his. A jolt shot through Josh, both of surprise and just from the contact. He looked at the place they touched, then turned to her. She stared down at her legs.

"They would talk in private. Sometimes with me around. Discussing how the town and its people wouldn't last long," she said. "One day the town would be a catalyst to start a battle between Israel and Palestine, then spread its tendrils throughout the world. Almost like they thought they could use our little home to start the next world war. They were so... So passionate about doing something that would cause so much innocent bloodshed..."

She shuddered. She had always been on the paler side, yet more color drained from her face.

"When I was twelve, I started getting flashes. Memories of a flight across icy waves. Then I heard a voice in my head. Kidron, starting to bond with me. He encouraged me not to tell my parents. Said that it would be safer.I was scared and thought I might be crazy... But also so desperate for someone to be on my side. So, I didn't say anything to my parents.

"Then, shortly after I started hearing Kidron's voice, my mother came back alone from one of their trips. She dragged me away from my neighbor and demanded I start packing. I was so confused, especially when she started pulling weapons out of hidden places. Swords, guns, daggers, even grenades. I freaked out, ran to my room, locked the door, and hid in my closet."

Her hand trembled over his. Her face and tone didn't change. Distant, but not quite robotic. Slowly, giving her time to argue, Josh turned his hand around and intertwined their fingers. She squeezed, and he squeezed back.

"She managed to break my door down, but before she found me in the closet, I heard someone barge into our house. There was Mother's voice, yelling so loud. Ones I didn't know trying to calm her. Then they screamed, the earth shook... And then it kept shaking after a giant boom...

"My parents were helping the Shadow Knights, trying to spread chaos and conflict. Creating rumors, telling lies, trying to assassinate officials. The Paladins accidentally found out about it when searching for me. My father committed suicide before they could catch him, and my mother tried to blow herself up and take all of us with her."

He could guess what happened next. Cale and his father took her to the Sanctuary, and she bonded with Kidron, then she started to live with them.

And boy, had she seen horrors. And had nightmare parents. He studied Mara, searching for some indication of what she had been through. All he saw was a strong young woman who had gone through a lot of hardships.

"I'm sorry," he whispered after an extended period of quiet. "But... That guy is insane if he thinks your parents make you a traitor. That's your past, not you."

Mara smiled ruefully. "Sometimes, Josh, the past doesn't want to let you go. Perhaps Harrison saw that."

"Hey." Josh twisted around, and Mara turned to him. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. His hand lingered there. "You rushed in to help me when a Phoenix Dragon tried to kill me, despite how hard-headed I was. You led me around the Sanctuary with an adorable, mischievous smile because you were just so excited to surprise me. You came looking for me when you had your own issues to deal with. What about that sounds like someone who would side with the Shadow Knight?"

Mara met his eyes. She placed her hand over his so that his palm rested on her cheek. His heart stuttered, stomach pitching like he'd just started down the drop of a rollercoaster. Thoughts crossed over her face, thoughts he couldn't read, but that made the coaster go faster and faster.

"Thank you," she said. "I think I've talked enough. Do you..." Her eyes flickered down from his eyes, but it couldn't be where he thought she was looking. "Do you want to talk now?"

"Honestly?" he said. "Getting an answer to at least something helped, and I'm really just tired of talking about my feelings."

"Well, you don't have to talk about them then. But I really hope I'm right about one of those feelings."

He cocked a brow, but she didn't answer with words.

She answered by leaning forward and kissing him.

All the pent-up emotions burst into sparks of nerves and outright joy, heating his body until he was sure he would melt.

Mara was kissing him.

She pulled back. It really wasn't much. A gentle, lingering kiss. Maybe three seconds. But he still buzzed.

"You weren't wrong," Josh breathed. He glanced between her lips and eyes. The blue seemed brighter than he had ever seen them. "You definitely weren't wrong."

"Good."

This time they leaned in at the same time. She moved toward him, arms going around his neck. He pulled her even closer until she sat in his lap, one hand pressed against her back and the other in her hair.

Part of him was vaguely aware of Boomer's retreat to give them privacy. Just like he was vaguely aware that he was making out with Mara about an hour after Eli and Xander's kidnapping.

But right then, he embraced the spark of light in the otherwise pitch night. Because Mara had provided more light than just the kiss.

Her story and Boomer's words mixed together, forming another emotion beneath the flurry of longing and joy.

This life had stolen a friend from his mom, parents from Boomer, and a childhood from Mara. It wasn't going to steal his baby brother as well.

Of that, he was determined.

And that, Boomer whispered in his mind, is the resolution you needed to feel.

Fun Fact: In the previous various Josh found out about Mara's parents the first day before Ioana's training, but I thought that way too soon and way too pushed in there.

So... I'm going to point out you get a more definite answer to if Mara is a spy or not in the exclusive chapter because it's her PoV. For now... You get to wonder if she's acting or not. But that said, what did you think? About Mara's past and FLIPPING JAMARA! I haven't written an actual kiss scene since I was 14 (was 23 when I wrote this), so hope it worked xD

Also... Should be done with moping Josh. Not saying his emotions are all handled. But extremely determined Josh can be fun to play with >:3

Let me know your thoughts on the chapter down below, and if you enjoyed it, don't forget to vote and comment! I also have a discord open to anyone who wants to join, and we have a section there to discuss the book :D It's in my bio if you'd like to join!