Personal Memory Log: 00367
13/09/2463.3
Lewis Lawrence, Orator,
Ministry of Remembrance, 1st Division.

13/09/2463.3
Receiver: Lewis Lawrence, Orator,
Ministry of Remembrance, 1st Division.

Sender: Sarissa Martel,
Commander, 1st Praetorian Company,
Command Staff, P02 02
Security Level: Eden

The following log is a personal account of my early life. I send this to you with the utmost level confidence that it will remain confidential and above all hidden from the public eye. Needless to say, but any disclosure of the following log will be considered a breach of security by the Coalition no matter what they may say following the war.

  -/Data Attachment 1 of 13 Opened/-  

08/10/2458.2
Personal Journal Entry:001
Sarissa Martel,
Captain, 3rd Army,
Command Staff, P02 02

The first thing I remember was the cold, sterile air of the delivery ward and a world of unknown sensations. I was crying, conflict raging. For the first few days, I was clueless. I was fed, clothed and kept warm, so I was contempt.

On the third day, I opened my eyes for the first time to find a world of scant detail. I looked around, seeing little more than blurry sights and one face next to me. That of a sickly baby boy and a panel of glass separating us. He was skinny with eyes still shut.

He suffered and cringed. I wanted to help, but he breathed his last. Sudden beeping called an army of nurses and doctors to action. They swarmed the dead boy, stressing and tampering to no avail. The beeping turned into a single everlasting tone, and they all slumped, defeat showing on their faces.

That night I awoke in the darkness as a pair of hands picked me up and swept me away into the night. The world shook, and my ears erupted with the sound of gunfire as firefights sparkled to life all around me. Even as shots sped from place to place my carrier did not relent; breaking into a run as it pushed forward.

Shells slammed into the masonry, detonating in great earth-shattering explosions of fire and smoke. I cried, all I could do was stare out in horror as this terrible world I did not understand went up in flames. It was not long before my pleas were loudest. The detonating shells were falling far away. I calmed, feeling safe in my carrier's arms.

Within three days my sight was ample enough to trace those firm hands of that night to a single smiling face; this is the first time I ever laid eyes on the man I would come to call Father. A tall man of thick, wrinkling, fair skin, a goatee of brown hair turning grey and a thin mane to match. The greatest blessing of my life.

It was thanks to his efforts I was given a proper chance on life, secreted away in the depths of his estate. Hiding as the adopted daughter of the great Dr William Bentham. Under his care, I grew. So did I grow to love him as my Father and so did he his new daughter.

So began the happiest years of my life. Joyful adventures through his vast gardens occupied my summers. The leaves of deciduous plants filled my Autumns with golden yellows and reds. The creation of works of art in the pure snow marked my winters. Freshwater teeming with fish amidst a forest of renewed life made my springs.

By ten years I had grown into an adult there was something new to learn, something new to master. By age seven I had mastered several forms of art, could speak three languages, mastered several forms of martial arts and was learning advanced math, physics and biology.

My only regret was taking home for granted. It was my world. I bore no reason to extend my concerns beyond its bounds. I lived every day completely and utterly assured that the next with be the same paradise that the last one was. 

It has been ten years since my discovery. The UPE spared not a single moment in their pursuit of me, even when I fought their wars. My Father had to send me away. Send me into the vast sprawl of humanity. There I can hide in plain sight among untold billions.

-/Data Attachment 1 of 35 Opened/-

Personal Memory Log: 00003
19/07/2453.2
Sarissa Martel, Ms, N/A

There I sat staring out my window at the stars. I found myself revelling in all their sparkling beauty and splendour. I have heard tales of how for generations mankind has long dreamed of venturing out amongst the stars. Now I understand why.

Some manner of longing sparked within me alongside the revelry. A desire to reach out and grab all I could for myself. My senses sharpened as I chased this feeling, this new sensation that had sprung to life within me.

The vast vista spread out before me only became ever more beautiful. I noticed individual stars among a million others, tell them out by the tiny, fiery patterns laid out across their surface. Then I noticed planets, black holes and innumerable other celestial bodies out there. All of them, spinning and flying about like little creatures dancing in the eternal night.

All around me the sounds of human life filled the air. Children were crying, screaming, laughing and playing. Men and women were working, walking, talking arguing. Occasionally a crewman's voice would blare through the PA system announcing one thing or another.

This ship was no luxury cruiser, this was merely an old cargo ship. Its innards, a maze of rooms, hallways and corridors turned into a makeshift city, filled to the brim with people. Smells and sounds were its air. Trash and old filthy concrete was its ground.

The poor, the desperado, the opportunist, these were its people — individuals, couples, families, all fleeing war and poverty and chasing fresh hopes in a new land.

In a way, mankind, festering about in its squalor, was beautiful. Humanity is a race addicted to its dreams. It is not wrong to be so. In truth, it is what is beautiful. The capacity for vision, imagination, the tendency to hope and dream in the face of life's horrors that is what drives us to achieve.

I indulged in the beautiful mix of themes in my mind. The stuff dreams made manifest in two completely different forms. Here I felt my mind open up with a million possibilities. I smiled as I experienced a thousand different interactions reconcile the two.

Then the sound of heavy footsteps on concrete distracted me.

"What's there to smile about. This ship is miserable." The man said as he took his seat beside mine.

I looked at him recognising his bald head and heavy build. Two grey eyes and pale skin gave him an almost inhuman visage. He offered me a drink, and I took it with a nod of thanks.

"Well? I find little to smile about in this rust bucket." He continued.

"The stars... they are beautiful," I told him.

He sighed.

"Enough of that, child. Your Father told me to get you to Eregon safely. You'll endanger us both if you indulge in your whimsical passions."

It became my turn to sigh.

"Hector, come on, I'm no child. I am aware of all around me; you needn't be so patronising."

"You may be a Praetorian, but you're still very young. You don't know the ways of humans yet."

"What about you, Noctus? You're no human yourself."

"I'm more human than you'll ever be. We Noctii may be genetically modified for night worlds, but you Praetorians are an entirely new species."

Just as I took a breath to reply three separate tones heralded the coming of an announcement.

"Good morning, passengers. We're about to enter Wyrm Gate 13774. All hands brace for FTL travel. Just two more jumps to go before we arrive at the Eregon System." The Captain said through the PA system.

I leaned back with a sigh of relief. While Hector remained on edge, looking around. Then I straightened up as I sensed trouble. Through all the conversations I could hear one stood out. I glanced back at it and found two United Earth Protectorate Officers searching the crowd.

At once I dropped in my seat, pulling on my grey coat, pulling the hood over my head.

"Two of them, behind us," I tell Hector.

He glances back and huddles in his seat, pulling on his own coat and hood. He looks at me while I watch him. He nods and I nod back. Together we slowly got up and slipped into the endless crowd, disappearing amongst the sprawling masses.

For the next few hours, it was like playing cat and mouse. Always on the move, encountering new patrols and evading them constantly. Sometimes reaching within a hair's breadth of being caught. In a way it was amusing, having to think and move. It reminded me of times sorely missed.

Soon the patrols moved on to the next carriage and we were able to rest once more. We took our seats at an eatery that sold whatever meat it could find. I ran my eyes across the menu on the wall with a mixture of awe and trepidation before Hector nudged me on the shoulder.

"Just water. We'll eat handsomely at Eregon." He remarked.

"Headed to Eregon, eh? Very nice! Long trip, long trip, come, sit, enjoy, no starve!" barked the tiny skinny waiter gesturing to his menu.

Hector produced some coin from a hidden pocket and offered it to the waiter.

"Just water, thanks." He told him.

The waiter smiled and took them. Then he nodded towards me.

"How about something special for the misses, eh? A pretty girl that one!"

I shied away from the waiter, smiling.

"Just water" Hector insisted.

The waiter shrugged and took the money and produced two juice boxes filled with water. Hector took them and gave one to me. I pulled out the straw, breaking its plastic seal and sipped on it; enjoying the refreshing cool liquid flood my mouth.

Then tones sounded again.

"All hands brace. Wyrm Jump, Wyrm Jump, Wyrm Jump" the announcement followed.

At once, everyone around us either hunkered down where they sat or held onto something built into the ship itself. Hector and I found railing built into the eatery's structure and took a firm grip of it. All the while I starred out through a small window in the distance.

The ocean of stars beyond faded away as a bright light shone into the room in a myriad of colours. Our world started to shudder, and quake as metal all around us buckled under the stress. Something broke beneath my feet, and down the hall, a stove exploded in a ball of flame.

Cries of pain echoed throughout the hall and children wailed at the heavens in horror. I looked and gasped in fear as fires consumed an eatery and the unfortunates inside some three dozen meters down the hallway. The world continued to shake and, forcing me down against the seat as the fires spread.

My soul shrivelled away in terror and sorrow. I can remember it all — the tortured faces of those set alight by the blaze, human flesh crackling and popping as it was reduced to charred ash until it peeled away from the bone in a vile mess. To this day, very disgusting detail of it all haunt my every nightmare.

No nightmare compared to what followed. The panicked screams and flails of the burning did nothing to save them from those around them. Kicking and fighting, they forced the victims back into the eatery to stop the fire from spreading and protect themselves.

With no equipment nor water to spare all they could do is contain the blaze as best they could. The terrible part was that no one, not even I could blame them. Then the worst moment came when a mother broke through the containment and embraced her burning child. The flames were spreading to her as she was kicked into the eatery along with the other victims.

Long moments followed as the ship continued to plough through space at immense speeds. Soon the light from outside passed and firefighters arrived in old yellow vests with extinguishers. They all aimed and sprayed foam all over the eatery. Some struggled as their extinguishers failed to work.

What came soon after was a solemn continuation of daily life. Hector grabbed my arm and pulled me along.

"Let's go. Nothing left to see here," he said as we got up and left.

The faces. They wouldn't leave my mind. Every step I took was haunted by the dead. I felt the horror consume me in its fiery embrace. Smoke flooded my lungs; I couldn't breathe. Tears flowed from my eyes trying to douse the crackling flames upon my skin. I broke down, dropping to my knees, gripping my as agony flooded my mind.

"Argh! Hector! Make it stop!"

"Dammit! She's an empath as well?" Hector muttered to himself.

He stopped, grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me, catching my attention.

"Come on, Sarissa! Hush! Get a hold of yourself!"

I looked at him with widened tearful eyes and saw the face of the child crying and burning.

"Get away!" I screamed as I shoved him into the wall. With a loud clang, he was knocked out.

I fell back, hitting my head against the metal floor. I gasped as a concussion shook me from head to toe. I sat there huddled up, pulling my knees up against my chest. I found myself alone in the darkness. I wept as I leaned against the cold steel of the corridor wall.

I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head on my knees, tears flowing, and I felt so alone, so cold. I so wanted to go home.

"Father, where are you? Save me... please?" I uttered into nothingness.

I wept, and I wept, rocking back and forth, finding no solace in the lonely darkness. Then a firm hand gripped my own, I gasped. I stared at it, studying its familiar, pale skin, I followed it up its arm, finding a shoulder and then a pale face with a blackening bruise on its forehead.

"It's alright, child. You're safe. You're not alone." He said.

Like the rising sun of the coming dawn, I recognised Hector holding onto me. I wailed as I embraced him. He held me tight, his heavy hand patting me softly on my back.

"Hush, child. It's ok. I got you." He whispered to me.

In his arms, I found peace and loving warmth. Sniffing and whimpering, I wiped my tears away. Sensing the guards once more I gently pushed myself away from his embrace. I looked at him as he waited patiently.

"Three more. Coming from the eateries. Another two approaching from the other end of this corridor." I told him.

He took my hand in his own and stood up with a thin smile.

"Then we'd better get going." He replied.

I felt a cheeky smirk grow on my face as I nodded. Together we slipped away in the darkness.

-//-

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