"So, what do you have in plan for this evening?" Aunty Feli asks bringing us the tea outside, on the patio, like every time after dinner.

"Hm... I don't know. I feel a bit under the weather, yesterday was the same, and the day before it was the same. I think I'm catching a cold or something," I tell her with my thoughts going to places while drinking small sips from the steaming coffee, even though I feel it turns my stomach upside down.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Aunty says smiling with meaning and drinking from her own mug.

I would have believed her if it wasn't for the sparkle in her eyes, making me curious.

"What?" I ask.

"Hm, nothing... but maybe you want to have that checked, you know," she replies.

"Um, no... I'm fine, Aunty. Probably it's just a virus," I reject the idea although what I'm feeling lately is far from flu symptoms.

My phone rings and I fish it out of my pocket to pick it up. It's Papa.

"Ciao, Papa, come stai?" (Hi, Dad, how are you?)

"Ciao, bella. Sto bene, grazie. E tu, principessa?" he asks and before I have the chance to say something, Aunty answers Papa's question

"She's under the weather," she shouts in her beautiful Italian accent.

"What's wrong? I'll pick you up. I'll take you to the doctor, right now," Papa becomes immediately worried.

"No, Papa, it's just a cold, no need to worry this much," I try to calm him down, gauging my eyes at Aunty and scolding her for making him worry useless.

"Sweetie, I'm coming. I'm on my way," he suddenly decides and I can hear the screeching of the car wheels while most probably turning the car around.

"Come on, Papa. It's nothing, I'm telling you," I insist but hey, have you met my father?

"I'm calling your mother right now. She can reach you before I do," he speaks as if being deaf to my words.

"Papa!"

"I won't hear another word about it. Hang up, I'm calling your mother," he says and I do just that, puffing with despair to his attitude.

"Really, Aunty?! Why? You know I don't like too much fuss around me."

"It's not you. I did it for myself. I haven't seen your mom and dad for a while and I feel like spending some time together. Is that bothering you?" she explains herself innocently.

"Okay, I get that, but why worry them uselessly?"

"Do you think they would have come if I said I wanted to see them? Come on, sweetie, you don't know your parents. They would never risk disclosing your location, no matter what. You asked your father to keep you safe and well hidden, right?" she replies and damn, she does make sense.

I pout and lean against the backrest of my sunbed, admitting Aunty is right, but not liking it a bit.

It took Mamma Eve exactly ten minutes to be at our door and enter the house with a big mouth, calling my name.

"Mia! Mia, sweetie, where are you?"

I suck a good chunk of air in a deep breath, mentally enchanting serenity to myself, and standing up from the sunbed to meet her in the living room.

"Feli!" Mamma Eve calls again and I can sense panic in her voice, seeing nobody around to welcome her.

"I'm here, Mom, I'm here and nothing is wrong with me. Why do you all have to panic like that?" I tell her while hugging her dearly.

"It's not panic, it's worry. What's wrong?" she asks grabbing my head in her palms and trusting a dense stare into my eyes.

Her eyebrows frown and the stare rises somewhere above the crown of my head, most definitely toward Aunty and I can see a bunch of questions in Mom's eyes.

Out of the blue, she moves her hands from the sides of my head and grabs both of my breasts, and as soon she finds her answer, her face lightens, and a beautiful smile blooms on her lips.

"MOM!" I scold her, feeling the grab of her hands painfully to the roots of my breasts and I push her hands away, crossing my arms on the chest.

"Cosa c'è che non va in te?!" I shout, stepping back, almost horrified. (What is wrong with you?)

"Feli, chi può comprarci velocemente un test di gravidanza?"  Mom asks, still staring at me with a million colors changing on her face and a wide smile to reach her each of her ears. (Feli, is there anyone that can buy us quickly a pregnancy test?)

"What pregnancy test?" I yell both at Mom and Aunt Feli.

"Say no more! Just got one this morning," Aunt Feli replies, completely ignoring my struggle, or my existence even.

"What is wrong with you, women?!" I mumble almost for myself, just realizing I should have had my period a week ago.

"Sweetheart, how late are you?" Mom is asking as if reading my mind.

"I don't know... a week... maybe ten days," I reply and lift my eyes at Mom who looks double in size with joy.

The realization of the probability of being pregnant quickly settles in my mind and my heart melts under the thought of having a life growing inside of me and above all, that life being the fruit of me and Raffa.

Mom walks one step toward me, curling an arm around my neck and holding my head still while kissing my face numerous times and holding one palm flat on my lower belly, tearing with joy.

"You're going to be a mother, sweetie," she whispers and sobs, in the exact second when Papa shows up and sees us hugging and tearing both.

"What's going on?!" he asks in a rush, increasingly becoming nervous as both Mamma Eve and I are still very much caught in our moment, ignoring him and everybody around.

"Eveline, what the fuck is going on?" he repeats with a direct target of his madness toward Mom while standing next to us.

I can almost feel the meat shaking on his bones, struggling to calmly wait for us to say something.

The first one to be wise enough and know her husband well is Mamma Eve, who gives me one more kiss on my cheek and turns around toward Papa, who, smart enough circles his arms around Mom's waist and glues his eyes to her glowing face, holding her captive till she spits it all.

"What...?" he mumbles with an attempt of a smile and fear building up in his stare.

I sob a few times, covering my mouth with both of my hands, determined to give Mom the chance to tell Papa.

"We're going to be grandparents!" Mamma Eve yells and then she giggles and shouts of happiness again, throwing her arm around his neck and hanging herself there, as if hugging her entire world.

"Mia..." Papa whispers asking for confirmation from my side when shifting his eyes on me and fighting some stubborn tears from showing up.

I feel my face burning and my lips stretching in a smile that I can't hide anymore, a smile that becomes a confirmation for him.

I nod and Papa releases a heavy exhale that has been blocked in his lungs for the past five minutes, making his face red and eyes gauging out of their orbits.

He stretches an arm and grabs my hand, swiftly pulling me into their hug almost suffocating me.

"My sweet sweet principessa... you're making me a grandpa..." Papa says in a shaky tone, tightening his iron hold around my back.

"Is that making me a great-grandpa?" I hear Grandpa Lucas speaking from somewhere behind me, trying to sound all tough and detached but in real, his face betraying the joy.

"Oh, very much a great-grandpa!" Papa shouts and turns around to greet his best friend while Mamma Eve and I let him go.

The two very first alpha men I've known in my life hug and laugh loudly, tapping each one back and congratulating each other.

Grandpa Lucas has been keeping his eyes on me from the moment he came into the room, the blue of his eyes pinning me with a stare that reaches the core of my soul where my heart is half crying and half laughing.

It's the exact spot where he knows I need attention and where the conflict between loving Raffa and the need to be away from him has just gone to totally different levels.

"Sorry sweetheart, these hugs are meant to be for you but... I'm afraid I would hurt you," Grandpa Lucas says and I believe him.

The size of the men in our family is beyond intimidating.

"I'm sure you know how to be gentle. You made Grandma Becca madly in love with you all of her life," I reply and open my arms widely, waiting for him to hug me.

He smiles and makes two huge steps to reach me and grab me in his arms holding me so gently as if I'm made out of glass.

"I know someone who will go nuts with this news," he whispers and my heart skips a beat.

Will he really...?

I took the test Aunt Feli brought me soon after congratulations had been said in thousands of ways, from warm hugs to kisses on the crown of my head and feather touches on my lower belly.

It seemed like my family didn't have enough of it. The confirmation of the pregnancy test increased the pampering when I thought that the love of my family couldn't get any higher.

In the evening, when I finally laid down in my bed ready for a good sleep that seemed I didn't have for a long time, they came in one by one to make sure I was okay.

I was okay!

I am okay! I'm only pregnant not sick or something.

But on a better thought and disregarding the fact that I don't like a bit of the fuss they do around me, I admit that today I've got the best news of my life and I'm sure it is the same for my family so, I decided to let them do whatever they feel to.

After all, this is the first grandchild of the family, the jewel of the Benito's meant to bond us even stronger if that is even possible.

What surprised me the most tonight was that nobody mentioned Raffa, as if this child was made by myself and Raffa had no contribution.

That was before I retired to my bedroom and before Mom, Dad, and Julian visited me one by one to tell me good night and that they were proud of me and... Raffa.

And that is the moment when my heart blossoms like spring flowers when nature comes back to life and everything is new.

It warmed my heart.

A knock at my door makes me put the book down from my hands and turning my eyes to the door I can see Grandpa Lucas peeking his head in and checking if I'm still awake.

"May see the princess?" he speaks cordially as if asking to see the royal member of the family.

"Sure, sure, Grandpa. You may see the princess," I reply smiling and getting into his game.

He comes in and closes the door gently as I'm sure the entire house is sunk in sleep by now.

He comes closer and sits on the edge of my bed, gently grabbing my hand and planting a kiss on its back.

"Why aren't you sleeping, Grandpa?" I ask him in a whisper.

"I will, I will, don't worry. I wanted to see you before," he replies and buries my hand between his large palms.

His bright face is all smiles and sparkles but the blue of his eyes is shining with a few teardrops.

"I wished your Grandma Becca was here," he says, confirming my thoughts and the sadness in his eyes.

"I wished that too, Grandpa, but I'm sure she's here and I'm sure she's as happy as we all are."

"Yeah... I remember the day I found out I was a father. Eve was the most precious gift Becca ever gave me. I never forgave myself for missing the first three years of her life," he confesses.

I know the story. Aunt Feli told me about it in the evenings we spent having our usual tea before bedtime, together with other stories of the women in our family, emphasizing how all of them returned to the destiny life had written for them.

Grandma Becca raised Mamma Eve alone for the first three years while Grandpa Lucas and Papa were recovering in Italy after a huge blast. Everybody thought they were dead while Grandma Becca was the only one to refuse accepting it.

Her heart was telling her otherwise, and her heart was right.

"Your father will move you to another location on Saturday evening. Did he tell you about it?" Grandpa asks.

"Yes, I know."

It was part of the plan of keeping me away from Raffa although it wouldn't take long until he found me again.

I saw him today, hidden in the bushes like a schoolboy, thinking he couldn't be spotted.

So sweet! He doesn't know I can see almost everything from up there.

I won't lie, my heart skipped a beat when I saw him there, lifting his head and jolting everything I went up.

Oh, sweet Raffa! No matter how tough you're trying to be or how ruthless others know you are, I'll always see that child hidden inside of you, one that I'll always be grateful to because that's how I know you love me, by being incapable to keep that inner child undiscovered.

Papa was right. There was no place on this earth that I could hide from Raffa, but nothing could stop me from trying, right?

"And what do you think about it?"

I raise my eyes to him, not knowing what to say. I want it. I want to leave. I want to be far but now the situation is different.

I'm carrying Raffa's child now, a gift he has given me in exchange for the last night we've spent together, a gift that has completely changed me as a woman.

Now, I'm even more determined to keep myself far from danger and a life that might jeopardize my safety or my child's safety.

"I think it's necessary, now more than ever," I reply withdrawing my hand and hiding it under the blanket.

I know what Grandpa Lucas is trying to say and I do agree with him, to some extent.

But it's too soon. I'm still haunted by the days of no more than three weeks ago when I had the mighty role of luring the bad guy into a trap that nobody was even convinced would work, where the bad guy, even though he knew our blood bond, used me for an act of stupid revenge I had no connection with.

Grandpa Lucas nods, hearing what I say but not really agreeing, pressing his lips in a thin line and squinting his eyes as if trying to see me better but actually aiming for the depth of my heart.

He knows it holds Raffa there, my heart I mean, engraved like a rooted tree and connected to all the cells of my being.

"At least don't take away from him the joy of knowing he'll be a father. Give him hope. Give him a reason to go on," Grandpa says while standing up and planting a kiss on my head.

I didn't reply although I know this would be the right thing to do.

And I'll do it. I make a mental note with a promise to tell Raffa about the child as soon as I'm out of Sicily.

"Don't. Waste. Time." he speaks sternly, grabbing my face in his palms and forcing me to look at him.

The determination in his voice is scary and the iron look of his dark blue eyes is even more dreadful.

I frown my eyebrows while staring at Grandpa and wondering if there's maybe a catastrophic message hidden in his words, with my mind traveling to Raffa and my heart stinging with longing for him.

He kisses my forehead one more time and leaves the room with a whispered "good night", leaving me immersed in uncertain thoughts and questions that would only be answered if Raffa were here and if he would hug me and kiss me and tell me again how much he loves me.

And then my heart jumps and my brain suddenly finds a way to bring me some comfort.

The book, that's the way. The new chapter I wrote today. When I'll publish the new chapter, he'll see it and he'll know he is still in my heart.

That's all I want him to know, for now.

~~~~~
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