Sugar, Spice, And Everything Not-So-Nice 🤣

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Family fluff, and Cole's terrible cooking!

It's four in the morning, as Nicholas Josiah Brookstone, known as 'Cole' to his friends and family, tip-toed down the corridor in his pyjamas, to the kitchen. Last night he had a brilliant idea; make gingerbread men!

The black ninja squints his eyes as he switches on the light and looks around the empty kitchen.

Perfect, he thought, pulling his phone out and researching a simple recipe for gingerbread men. Finally he found one that seemed promising, and grabbed the ingredients.

350g/12oz plain flour, plus extra for rolling out
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp ground ginger
r1 tsp ground cinnamon
125g/4½oz butter
175g/6oz light soft brown sugar
1 free-range egg
4 tbsp golden syrup
Icing

Sift together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, ginger and cinnamon and pour into the bowl of a food processor. Add the butter and blend until the mix looks like breadcrumbs. Stir in the sugar.

He grinned as he rummaged through the cupboards before stopping. They had no flour. Zane had used it up last night when he made bread. The stores were probably closed since it was too early!

Okay, Cole, no need to fret, this happens all the time, he thought, trying to calm himself. Aha! He just needed to substitute the flour! He looked around, trying to find something, anything, to use instead of flour. From the corner of his eye, he spots a massive bag of salt and a container of granulated sugar.

Perfect! Now, 350 divided by 2 is...175! So, 175 grams salt and 175 grams granulated sugar should do the trick! Plus, nobody will notice the difference!

Ali: *facepalm*

The master of earth hums quietly to himself as he measured out the salt and sugar, biting his lip in concentration. 350 grams!

He smiled in satisfaction, tipping the white powders into a large mixing bowl. Reaching for a tablespoon measurer, he stopped. Nah, that'll take forever, and it'll mean more washing up. Let's just go with presicions. Ditching the measuring spoons, he dumped a buttload of cinnamon before realising the ginger had gone bad...Let's see, he thought, scratching his chin. Nutmeg! And...garlic powder?

It'll work!

He added the garlic powder and nutmeg in as a substitute to ginger. Cole stared longingly at the food processor. He didn't want to wake them up. Grabbing a whisk, he violently stirred the powders in together, until it was all nicely combined.

Ah, he felt so accomplished! (me when I actually eat healthy)

Time for butter!

Cole grabbed the butter jar and scooped out the entire cube of butter, and dumped it into the bowl. The more the merrier!

Now he was rapidly beating the life out of the butter, trying his best to mush it all in with the powder.

Okay...so far, so good!

Okay, what's next? He reached for his phone, only to drop it into the mixture.

"Son of a-" he groaned in frustration as he fished it out and wiped it with some paper towels, before going on to the next step:

Lightly beat the egg and golden syrup together, add to the food processor and pulse until the mixture clumps together. Tip the dough out, knead briefly until smooth, wrap in cling film and leave to chill in the fridge for 15 minutes.

Since they didn't have golden syrup, Cole decided to use maple syrup. After all, it was the same thing right?

Now for an egg. But that begs the question: Where were the eggs?

Cole knew that Zane knew where the eggs were kept. But he couldn't wake him up; Kai would slaughter him if he didn't get his full 8 hours of sleep.

Bing! A light bulb went off in Cole's head; he'd remembered watching Tasty on YouTube, and they had used mayonnaise in their cake recipe, since the stuff was practically 99% eggs. Reaching for the mayonnaise jar, he scooped up some with a spoon and plopped it into the measuring jug with the maple syrup. Using a fork, he whipped it until it looked like foundation.

Perfect!

The black ninja proceeded to dump the solution into the mixing bowl, and continued stirring. But there was a problem...the mixture wasn't clumping. It looked like tanning solution.

Maybe I did something wrong...

Ali: Yeah...ya think?!

Cole's eyes widened. Cornstarch! Zane normally uses cornstarch to thicken curries and other food. He grabbed the small container and ripped off the lid before dumping the ENTIRE THING into the mixture. Grabbing his trusty whisk, he beat the mixture together. Powder was going everywhere.

At long last it was thick. Not dough-like thick, but pretty much stiff peaks.

Wrapping the bowl in cling-film (he decided to skip the kneading step, since it was pretty much...unkneadable) he shoved it in the fridge and sighed, feeling pleased with himself. That lasted only a second though, as he saw the state of the kitchen. It was a hot mess. Cornstarch, salt, sugar, cinnamon, garlic and a bunch of other ingredients had spilled onto the floor. He had 15 minutes to clean up, before having to bake the dough. Setting the oven and the timer, he proceeded to dump all the ingredients he'd used into a random cupboard and hurriedly mopped the floor and wiped the counters clean. At last, everything looked pristine, as if nobody had been in the kitchen in the first place.

Just as the timer was about to go off, Cole silenced it. The ninja would not be happy to see him in the kitchen, especially at this time in the morning. Grabbing the bowl out of the fridge, he peeled the cling-film off the bowl and peered at the mixture.

Hmm...still too liquidy.

He attempted to mold the shapes, but it kept oozing out everywhere.

That's when Cole had the stupidest idea ever...

BAKE IT INTO A CAKE!

Cheering quietly, he grabbed the cake tin, covering it with baking paper, and dumped the batter into the tin. Perfect!

Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until lightly golden-brown. Leave on the tray for 10 minutes and then move to a wire rack to finish cooling. When cooled decorate with the writing icing and cake decorations, if using.

Hmm...maybe if I set the temperature a tad bit higher, it would bake faster, he wondered, turning the temperature up by several 100 degrees.

Slipping on oven mitts, he gingerly placed the tin into the oven and slammed it shut...

...forgetting to set the timer...

As the gingerbread cookie-cake baked, Cole read one of Jay's Fritz Donnegan comics. He was so lost into the plot he didn't even realise the dark clouds of smoke forming, until it reached him. Yelping, he rushed to the oven and yanked it open, turning the oven off and grabbing the cake with a dishcloth, setting it on the counter. He fanned the smoke away so it wouldn't set the smoke alarm off, sighing in relief, and turned his attention to the gingerbread cake, and his smile fell. It had burnt to a crisp.

Great. Just perfect.

Or...maybe it was burnt on the outside, but still good to eat on the inside!

Cole didn't waste a second, as he tipped it out onto a cooling rack. The cake was an unsatisfying shade of deep brown, and smelled horribly of garlic and smoke. Until he had yet another stupid idea.

Sneaking into Skylor and Pixal's room, he looked around Skylor's desk. Aha! He noticed her Chanel Coco Perfume, which she'd spent months saving up for, sitting on the desk. She wouldn't notice if he used a bit...right? Swiping it off the desk, he crept out of the room and hurried to the kitchen and stared at the cake before spritzing it heavily with perfume. But the cake looked inedible.

Ali: Probably because it is, Cole!

Another idea went off in his head. He sneaked over to Nya and Lloyd's room and slid the door open, to see the two fast asleep in their separate beds. He looked around before locating Nya's acrylic paints packed away carefully on a shelf. He grabbed the entire box and snuck out, shutting the door behind him and making a quick detour to Seliel and Morro's room. He grabbed Seliel's contour brush and crept out again shutting the door and racing to the kitchen.

Unpacking the box, he pulled out tubes of orange, yellow, white and brown paint. Using the paintbrush it had come with, he smeared the colourful substance all over the cake and blended it in with his girlfriend's contour brush. At last! It was perfect. He doused it with perfume one last time, before sneaking everything back to where it belonged.

He placed the cake in the top cupboard before sneaking back up to bed.

As he went to his room, he noticed they had five minutes before the alarms went off. So he jumped under the covers and pulled the duvet over his head.

5 minutes had passed, and as he'd guessed, the alarms went off. He slammed his hand down on it, before fake-yawning and jumped out of bed to re-do his morning routine all over again. He bumped into his pink-haired girlfriend and greeted her with a peck on the lips, "Morning, sunshine!"

"Morning babe," he heard her mumble tiredly. He passed Kai and Zane's room. Zane was making his bed and Kai was sprawled across his, still asleep. As he walked by Morro and Seliel's room, he could see his girlfriend staring at her contour brush in horror. Morro was just making his bed.

He walked by Nya and Lloyd's room, in time to see Nya throw her alarm out through the window, and Lloyd murmuring something about 5 more minutes. Finally he came to Skylor and Pixal's room. Pixal was doing her hair, and Skylor had an angry look on her face, as she held a bottle of perfume. Chanel Coco Perfume. Cole hurried to the kitchen, not wanting to face Skylor's wrath, to see Zane making pancakes in the kitchen, using the pancake mix they had.

"Morning, Cole,"

"Morning, buddy! Sleep well?"

"As a matter of fact, I did, how about you?"

"I slept just fine!" He responded grinning.

Then Lloyd and Kai trudged in grumpily, however they instantly brightened up when they saw Zane making pancakes.

Immediately dashing for the cupboard, Lloyd yanked it open and reached for the maple syrup...

...only to find it empty.

"WHAT?! I filled this thing up with syrup yesterday! Who could've finished it that quick?!" the blonde wailed. Cole looked away guiltily, but couldn't help smiling.

Morro and Jay came in with Pixal, chatting among themselves about some book of some sorts. They took their seats at the table, along with Kai, Cole and a sulking Lloyd, except Pixal who went to help Zane.

Nya ran in, looking furious, Skylor and Seliel close behind.

"Alright, you idiots, I WANT ANSWERS!" Nya roars, dumping down her box of acrylic paints.

"This took me friggin' MONTHS to save up for! Now there's barely any product in it!" Skylor snaps, slamming the empty bottle of perfume on the table.

"This...was...my...FAVOURITE BRUSH! AND NOW IT'S GODDAMN RUINED!" Seliel shouts angrily, holding up the contour brush. Cole's blood froze.

He's dead. They were gonna kill him!

Zane appeared behind the girls, holding a plate stacked with pancakes, Pixal next to him, holding another plate filled with pancakes. "Um...why don't we focus on eating some breakfast first. Then you can continue with your... interrogation?'

Everyone fell onto the pancakes hungrily, grabbing them. Lloyd muttered something about maple syrup but still ate with gusto.

After everyone had their fill, Skylor pushed her plate forward, "Now, spill! Who decided to be an idiot and use up all my perfume?!"

"And who thought it would be funny to use up all of my yellow, orange, red, brown and white? I NEED THOSE COLOURS!"

"And my brush? Who did this to my brush?!"

Everyone looked between each other and shrugged confusedly. Cole kept his gaze low. He had to tell them about the cake, not because the guilt was eating at him, but because it would probably go rotten.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up, "Everyone, I am Nicholas Josiah Brookstone and I have something to say. I made a small something for you guys as a token of appreciation and I would like us to eat it now as there may not be another time! I am Nicholas Josiah Brookstone and I am done talking!" He stiffly sat back down next to his girlfriend. Everyone stared at him confusedly, "You alright there, bud?" Jay asked, frowning.

"Yup! I feel great! I just, can't wait to show you what I've made for you!" he responded, his voice an octave higher. He dashed from his seat and went to the cupboard where he reached for the plate that the cake rested on. Bringing it down, he took it to the counter. The smell of Skylor's perfume lingered strongly on it and Cole gulped nervously. He took it to the table and everyone gasped in shock, except Skylor, who frowned.

"Wait, that smells familiar...it smells like my-"

"EPI-PEN!" Nya screeched, grasping her throat. Jay grabbed her and leaned her against him as the girl choked and struggled to breathe. Kai dashed out of his seat and returned seconds later with the epi-pen but fumbled to open the packaging. Nya was laying in Jay's arms, suffocating, as Kai still struggled. Lloyd then grabbed the epi-pen out of Kai's hands, ripped the packaging off and stabbed it into the water ninja's left thigh. Nya winced before sighing in relief and slowly sitting up, "Thanks,"

"Someone get the cake away from her!" Pixal shouted. Zane jumped up, grabbed the plate and took it back to the kitchen and dumped it on the counter, grabbing a knife and cutting a slice to examine it. Uncooked batter oozed out and Skylor rushed ahead and sniffed the cake before staring at Cole, a deadly look on her face.

"You made this cake, Cole?" she asked, her voice quiet and unwavering. Cole nodded slowly. Skylor averted her gaze to the top of the cake, which had been caked with acrylic paint. Taking her phone out, she snapped a picture and bought it back to the table.

Cole's heart was pounding heavily as he and the others watched Skylor show the picture to Nya, who frowned, "That icing doesn't really look like icing..."

"That's because it isn't," Pixal spoke up, as she scanned the cake, "It appears to be some form of-"

"Who cares? It looks good and, sorry water lily, but it smells heavenly!" Jay protested. Pixal rolled her eyes and cut the cake into several slices. Everyone took a slice, except Nya who simply buried her head in Jay's shoulder. One allergic reaction was enough, thank you very much.

Everyone took a bite, as Cole watched nervously, sweat rolling from his forehead. Immediately, they spat it back out, gagging.

"Holy cow! Dude, what was in that thing?!" Morro asked horrified as he downed a jug of water.

"Um..." Cole tried to remember but he couldn't.

"I know," said Zane as he scanned the cake, "The contents consists of: 175 grams salt, 175 grams sugar, 5 tablespoons of baking soda, 15 tablespoons of garlic powder, 8 tablespoons of cinnamon, a pound of butter, 175 grams of light brown sugar, 500 grams of mayonnaise and 100 grams of maple syrup, along with 650 grams of cornstarch doused with Chanel Coco Perfume and...Liquitex BASICS Acrylic Paint,"

That was it for Cole. Nya, Skylor and Seliel looked up at him,

"You used my perfume?!"

"You finished my acrylic paints AND made me have an allergic reaction?!"

"You used my makeup brush?!"

All the guys looked at Cole nervously. They couldn't help him unfortunately, not this time. The black ninja ran for it.

The three girls grabbed their weapons and sprinted after him as Kai, Jay, Zane, Lloyd, Pixal and Morro sat there, stunned about what the heck just happened.

"S-Should we intervene?" Zane asked.

"Mmm...nah! I wanna see how this plays out!" Morro leans back in his seat, a smirk played on his face and Lloyd grinned, "You and me both, couz,"

"Who wants popcorn?" Pixal asked as she stood up. Everyone raised their hands and the girl chuckled, placing a bag in the microwave.

Meanwhile, Cole was in Ninjago city, hiding in Darreth's dojo as he avoided the wrath of his furious girlfriend and sisters.

One thing's for sure; he's never baking again!

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