{Sherlock has logged on} 

{Mycroft has logged on} 

Sherlock: Oh, not now, I'm busy. 

{Sherlock has kicked Mycroft off a cliff}

{The British Government will not be kicked off of a cliff} 

{The British Government is smirking and has logged back on} 

Mycroft: Busy doing what? Chatting with aliens? Really, Sherlock, aren't you a bit old for make-believe? 

Sherlock: I'll tell you when I grow up. How's old age? 

Mycroft: Fine, thank you. And tell John to stop messing about in Mary's flowerbeds with that spade, he's going to give himself tetanus.

Sherlock:  

Sherlock: 

Sherlock: This is mother's fault. Giving you that spy kit. 

Mycroft: Oh, yes. Father didn't understand the instructions, of course, so I put it together. 

Sherlock: At six? 

Mycroft: Four. Back when the house was peaceful and you weren't born. 

Sherlock: I was under the impression it was never peaceful. 

Mycroft: That cat never gave us any peace, it's true. 

Sherlock: What happened to the cat? 

Mycroft: I had it removed. 

Sherlock: 

Sherlock: Ominous, to say the least. 

Mycroft: I'll always remember the terrible day we attempted to make friends. 

Sherlock: Do you think that boy ever recovered? 

Mycroft: The one who you gave nightmares about being made fun of for watching My Little Pony? No, I doubt it. 

Sherlock: I couldn't resist. It was practically written all over him. 

Mycroft: You actually tried to make friends. I learned from your failure, at least. 

Sherlock: One day. One day I tried to make friends, and after that I decided they were all too stupid to have a conversation with anyway, so there was absolutely no point to it. 

Mycroft: Enemies are far more interesting to have around than friends. 

Sherlock: As you've proven on more than one occasion. 

Mycroft: Naturally. 

{Clara has logged on} 

Clara: Good grief, do you talk like this at home ? 

Sherlock: Texting abbreviations are for the lazy. 

Clara: No i mean all.... Spock. 

{Ten has logged on} 

Ten: Nice chap, Spock. Well, a bit stand-off-ish. Had lunch once. That's the Vulcans for you.

{Ten  has logged off}  

Clara: Umm. Okay. Mycroft-- he's your brother, right ?

Sherlock: Unfortunately. 

Mycroft: You'll want to watch out for that magnet on your desk, Ms. Oswald. It could damage your computer. 

Clara: 

Clara: what the 

Sherlock: Don't mind him. As the British government, he tends to amuse himself by constantly watching practically everyone in Britain. 

Clara: Don't be silly, no one is the british government 

Sherlock: I'm never silly, and of course someone is. Who do you think runs the country? 

Mycroft: We don't have surveillance on everyone. Only people of importance. And I assure you, it is extremely boring. 

Clara: I'm important. Great. I'm being watched. By the government. I'm not sure whether to be pleased or freaked out. I'll go with freaked out. 

Mycroft: Sherlock, the kettle is boiling. 

Clara: oh are you both at the flat? geez talk about unsociable, you could just talk to each other in person 

Mycroft: Oh, no, I'm in Bristol. 

Clara: Then how did you know the kettle was boiling. 

Mycroft: British government. 

Sherlock: Annoying brother.