"Mia you need to put a coat over that, you're going to freeze." Sarah told her daughter scoldingly, rolling her eyes. Mia was dressed in a tiny black dress and some silver stilettos, determined to celebrate the new year in style despite having no phone and being grounded.

I glanced down at my plain jeans and t-shirt— we were celebrating New Year's Eve in the backyard, sitting on camp chairs and watching the fireworks from a distance. Comfortable clothing was a no brainer for me. Soft rock was playing over Lewis' speaker, and I clacked my nails against my glass as Mia reluctantly went back inside to change.

Dallas and Brooks talked in low voices on my left, each having been invited to an array of parties but choosing to stay home instead. Dallas had informed me that the party invitations were, of course, extended to me as well, but Mia had threatened never to speak to me again if I went out and left her here alone. It really didn't bother me though— I'd done the whole New Year's Eve party craze a bunch of times, and it was nice just to have a quiet one instead this year. Plus, I was never going to another party ever again.

Besides,Brooks and I were still on the outs after our argument and I wasn't going anywhere with him.

"Okay, sit down everyone." Sarah instructed once Mia returned wearing a thin sweater over her dress. "We're going to go round in a circle and everyone has to list one thing that they're grateful for this year and one thing that they wish for next year. I'll start." Sarah gave us a warm look and clutched her champagne glass a little closer to her chest. "I'm grateful for my family and our health, and my wish for next year is that, even as Brooks goes off to college and everybody moves forward, we stay as close as we are now."

Lewis reached over and squeezed his wife's hand, offering her a reassuring smile. "I'm grateful for you, darling. For your unconditional love and support. My hope for the coming year is that I can one day be worthy of you."

I watched the two share a brief, sweet kiss, wondering if I'd ever have something like that... a love like that.

"Okay okay." Dallas lifted his hands up, drawing the attention away from the loved up duo and to himself. "I'm grateful for getting into college, and my wish for next year is that I don't flunk out of college."

I let out a laugh at his confession, taking a sip of my coke. Couldn't knock the boy's honesty.

"Mia?" Sarah prompted gently, her hand still linked with Lewis'.

Mia chewed on her lip for a moment before turning to me with a huge grin. "I'm thankful for the return of old friends." I smiled at her, feeling my chest grow warm. She blew me a kiss and then glanced back at her parents. "And I hope that next year you'll still love me despite all of the stupid decisions I will probably continue to make."

Sarah let go of Lewis' hand only so she could stand up and walk over to Mia and plant a kiss on her forehead. She stroked her blonde hair away from her face. "You may be a giant pain in the butt, MiMi, but I will love you eternally." She said softly but sincerely. "Regardless of any stupid decisions that you may make, I will always always love you. That's what love is— forgiving people for their mistakes and choosing to see the good in them."

I couldn't help myself from stealing a glance at Brooks, but when our eyes met I looked away quickly. I turned my attention to Mia instead, to gage her reaction, and saw that she was tearing up, her huge blue eyes glassy. She pulled her mother in for a hug and I found myself smiling despite myself. It was nice to know that there were still good people out there who loved each other unconditionally.

"Alright, time to break up the love fest you two." Lewis joked, practically dragging his wife back to his side.

Mia wiped her eyes with her pinky finger and then turned to me with a watery smile. "What about you Sav? What are you grateful for?"

I took a deep breath and glanced around at the five pairs of eyes, all of which were now glued on me. What was I grateful for this year? There was so much to be grateful for in my life— always having food and water, living comfortably, my job, being able to provide for myself, the fans. But then there was the fame, and with it the gossip and the rumours. The wedge that money had driven between my family. The incident at the wrap party that had gotten me here. The fact that the entire future of Scandalous was resting on my shoulders. The pressure. The loneliness.

For every wonderful and blessed thing in my life, there was something that tainted its glory. How did you answer a question about gratitude when everything that you were grateful for was also the very cause of all your problems?

Everyone was waiting for me to answer, but I couldn't quite figure out what I wanted to say. What was I grateful for? Everything. What did I wish for next year? Everything to change.

"I'm grateful for all of you." I said eventually, staring at the glass in my hands. "I'm grateful that even with the way I left things four years ago, you opened your home and your hearts to me when I was struggling. I'm grateful that in these past three and a half weeks you have shown me more kindness and friendship than I had ever known in my life in LA." I don't think anyone had expected me to go so deep, but no one interrupted me anyway. "My wish for next year is that I can earn your respect again, and, I promise, if I ever get back to LA, to do things differently this time."

Everybody was quiet, looking at me with either shock or awe. I kept my eyes trained on the ground, fidgeting with glass in between my fingers. I wasn't the girl that the world wanted me to be. I couldn't be.

"Who's cutting damn onions out here?" Dallas muttered, breaking the silence as he pretended to reach up and wipe away a tear. Mia rolled her eyes and shoved his arm, earning herself a small smirk in response. Both parties seemed to have put their issues with one another aside for the time being.

"That was beautiful Savannah." Sarah assured me with a warm smile. "And you will always have a place here in our family, no matter what."

I thanked her and then turned my attention to the opposite side of the group, where Dallas was now giving Brooks a clap on the back. "Your turn Brookey boy." He gave him a smirk that screamed good luck following that, and Brooks responded with an amused expression.

"I guess I am grateful for..." He trailed off, shaking his head slightly before releasing a sigh. "For family. And I hope that the coming year brings us even better memories than this one did." He raised his glass to toast, his smile not meeting his eyes as he swiftly avoided my gaze. "To good times."

I lifted my own glass silently, trying to hide my disappointment. Not everyone was in the mood to get sentimental, apparently.

"One minute 'til midnight!" Lewis called out happily, turning his chair in the direction of the impending fireworks. I stared up into the blank black sky that promised the thrill of color and light and beauty.

"Less than fifteen seconds!" Lewis informed us.

"Ten!" He yelled out, and the others joined in the countdown.

"Nine!

"Eight!

"Seven!

"Six!

"Five!

"Four!

"Three!

"Two!

"One!"

The first firework shot into the sky, exploding into a spiral of red and green.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

I clapped my hands together and watched as Sarah and Lewis shared a kiss and Dallas pulled Mia into a hug.

I stood alone, staring up at the glittering sparks in the sky, praying that this year would be different... that I would be different.

I didn't know what the future held, but whatever came along, I would face it. I was Savannah Silvers— I could do this by myself.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT ON THIS STORY! ❤️ ADORE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

Meg x