"Cut! Alright we got it guys thanks, let's move onto scene 24."

I released the breath I'd been holding and smiled at one of the extras before making my way over to my chair to watch Andy and my on-screen friend Kayla film their scene.

In the six weeks following the incident, I'd spent most days in meetings and on the phone to execs. None of them were happy with me for my disappearing act, and they were equally dissatisfied when I'd offered them a new proposal.

They had three months to do whatever they needed to do with Veronica Hart to complete her storyline and get her off the show.

"No. No way." Callum, our director, had said firmly, laying his palms down on the purple folder on the desk in front of him. "You're our lead actress, Savannah. We can't do the show without you. That's the whole reason we didn't just carry on without you when your mom forced you off set." His green eyes hardened in disapproval, and I could tell that it had been a long few months for everyone here.

"Just hear me out." I pleaded. "It's different this time. You have me for twelve episodes— that's enough time to address last season's cliffhanger and get Roni out of town. The fans have always wanted to see Andy and Kayla to be together but it never made sense before. Now it does."

Callum turned to our producer Jeffrey with a calculating expression, and Jeffrey shrugged helplessly in response.

"My contract ended last year and I haven't signed a new one yet." I told them firmly, "There's nothing stopping me from leaving right now, but I won't do that because I love these characters and this show and our fans. I know that if we figure this out together, we can give everybody what they want. We're all on the same side."

There hadn't been much of an argument after that, as everyone knew that I was right. There was nothing holding me here except my adoration for the Scandalous world we had created. But I couldn't deny that, after having a taste of what it was like to have a home and a family, the allure of LA was far less strong than it used to be.

Acting would always have my heart and I would come back here one day, but being a kid only lasted so long, and I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than to live my life and make my mistakes and have fun away from the public eye. I hadn't realized how much I craved that normalcy until I'd experienced it for myself.

Well, aside from the psychopathic stalker, that is.

Travis had been arrested instantly on the night of the incident, and was currently awaiting sentencing for stalking and kidnapping crimes. As it turned out, it had not been Travis'— who was actually twenty five— first rodeo, and he was known to a number of young women by different names for similar stalking reasons. As far as anyone was aware, I was his first attempted kidnapping.

Lucky me.

His trial wasn't for another six months and I was supposed to give evidence again. The thought of seeing his face sent shivers down my spine and waves of nausea rolling through my stomach, but it was nothing new. I had been seeing his face in my dreams every night, and the nightmares had only worsened since moving back to LA. When I arrived on set each morning, my make up artist had had his work cut out for him.

Until the court day came, I was trying impossibly hard not to think about it. I would have the McCormacks and Dallas with me the entire time, and I knew that we would get through it together.

My mom had flown to South Carolina briefly to check on me, but when she saw that I was okay— physically, at least— she'd offered me a lame excuse about her husband having the flu and had headed back to Beverley Hills. For some reason that I couldn't quite put my finger on, her departure hadn't bothered me as much as I thought it would. In fact, I was pretty sure that the McCormacks were more offended on my behalf than I was.

"I've known your mother and father a very long time," Sarah had told me quietly, her blue eyes narrowed, "and I know that they love you in their own way, but you deserve to be loved so much more loudly."

I had told Sarah I felt her love loudest of all.

Snapping myself back to the present, I watched Andy and Kayla film for a few more minutes before wandering to my dressing room. My phone, which I had left on the white vanity, buzzed and lit up, and I smiled as I picked it up.

If I have to third wheel one more of Mia and Dallas' dates I'm going to poke my eye out with a chopstick.

I grinned at Brooks' message, secretly embarrassed that I had been reduced to a teenaged girl who texted her boyfriend non-stop, but also happy that I was still being kept in the loop.

I'm sure Jaz would accompany you if you asked nicely.

... very funny.

I chucked my phone gently on the couch and made myself comfortable in the cushions beside it. I only had another half hour before my next scene, if they stuck to schedule, but I was planning to make the most of it with a nap.

I was in between the land of sleep and waking when I heard my phone vibrate again, and I groped my hand along the sofa to find it groggily. I peeled my eyes back, wincing at the screen's brightness.

Have I told you yet today that I love you?

My heart melted in my chest and I curled up into a ball. Brooks had been more open about his feelings for me every single day since we'd been apart, and it still made my stomach do flip flops like it had the first time he'd told me.

Maybe once or twice.

The typing bubble appeared for a split second, letting me know he was working on a reply.

Miss you.

I miss you too. Only two and a half more months.

Two and a half too many.

I bit my lip, scrolling briefly back through our exchanges, all of which pretty much resembled our current one. It was still crazy to me how much had changed in the short time I had left L.A to live in Beaufort at my mother's will. Despite the sadness, I had everything I wanted. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me as I considered my next message.

You spent four years away from me hating my guts, McCormack. You'll survive 2.5 more months.

Yeesh, now I remember why I didn't like you. You're mean.

Don't even try and pretend you don't love it.

I'm clearly a masochist.

A knock on the door distracted me from my phone, and I glanced up to find Ella, our runner, giving me a ten minute call. I nodded at her politely, heaving myself from my comfortable spot with a sigh.

I typed my response quickly, not wanting to keep anyone waiting.

I have to go to set. But PS. I love you too.

Ah, now I remember why I waited seventeen years for you. Not a masochist, just pathetic. Talk soon, be safe.

Be safe. Two little words that made me want to cry. Before Brooks, no one had ever, not once, told me to be safe. It was a minuscule statement that probably meant nothing to him, but it touched me more deeply than he could have known.

I was just about to drop my phone and head to set when a new notification came through, this time an invitation to a Scandalous Season 5 launch party.

I read through the description quickly, my finger hovering over the screen as thoughts of what had happened last time I went to an LA party flooded to mind. I had avoided people and parties for months after that, too afraid of my secret bad behaviour getting out or of getting into trouble.

This time, when I pressed the decline button, it wasn't because I was scared of messing up or doing something wrong... it was because I just wasn't interested anymore.

The excessive alcohol and parties—I had turned to them when I was at my loneliest. When I had been abandoned by my parents and I was hiding from the world and had been a young lost teen who desperately needed something to keep me afloat. I had used them as a way to escape, to get away from Savannah Silvers and everything she represented. As a kid, I'd hated her because she was weak and a victim, and becoming a successful actor was supposed to change that. And it had to some extent, but if I was being truthful, she had just changed in different ways and become a new person that I disliked equally as much.

The difference was that now, I didn't want to escape my life anymore. I didn't hate Savannah Silvers. In fact, I was proud of her and everything she'd overcome in her short life so far. I wanted to live my life by my own rules and discover who I could truly become, and I wanted to do it with the people I loved.

And that's exactly what I planned to do.